Kim had stayed in Shane's room for a few hours after she and Neil had told him about Jeannie. Shane had dozed off a few times, waking each time to find Kim beside him. The last time he had woken, he tried to broach the subject of the kidnapping, but Kim just smiled and told him that they could discuss things when he was stronger. Then Neil poked his head in, apologized, and asked Kim if she could help with a child who had just been brought into the clinic.
Shane actually was grateful to be alone for a little while. This was the first time he was able to process what he had been told that morning. And it was all rather hard to digest.
The news about Jeannie had left him bewildered, angry, frustrated and, more than anything else, guilty. How many times had he said that he felt drawn to Jeannie? Now he knew why. All those times he had thought about how much he had wanted a baby daughter, and there she was. . . .
Only there you were, pushing her away.
Shane shook his head. How had Cal Winters played him for such a fool?
At this point, though, it hardly mattered. What mattered is that Shane had thrown away a chance to spend the first year of his daughter's life with her. He thought about how he had barely been able to look at Jeannie not that long ago. Had she felt that? Would she grow to hate him for rejecting her?
You've got a lot to make up to her.
To her, and to Kim. He thought about how cold he had been to her during her pregnancy. She had lied to him - true - but she also had been afraid. And with good reason considering how he had treated her when he had been duped into believing Winters' lie.
"Dad."
Shane looked up to see Eve in the doorway. He smiled and spoke in a voice that still surprised him with how weak it sounded. "Sweetheart, come in."
Eve walked over to the chair, sat, and brushed back some of her hair from her face. "How are you feeling?" she asked.
"I'm fine," he said. "The better for seeing you. Not that I'm altogether happy at the reason for your coming home."
"I had to. After what they told me happened . . . and who was making decisions for you. . . ." Eve scowled a bit as she finished.
Shane's sigh turned into a grimace as his ribs pushed against the tight wrap. He had briefly witnessed Eve arguing with Kim when he first woke and, even though everything that happened was a bit foggy, he knew his daughter was once again blaming Kim for everything.
"Eve, please . . . can't you just let it go?"
Eve shook her head. "How can I? Look at you. You nearly died because of her."
"Stop." Shane's voice rose sharply. "I know you and Kim don't see eye-to-eye, and maybe there's nothing I can do about it. But you need to understand something." Shane started to take a deep breath, but then remembered his ribs and stopped it short. He took a minute to think before he tried to explain. "You haven't been here, so you don't really know what's happened."
He thought about rescuing Steve, all of the conflict at Donovan Manor and how it continued when they returned to Salem, his mission in Iraq, the arrest and, finally, the kidnapping. So much had happened in the past few months.
"A lot's changed, sweetheart. It's made me think a lot and I've realized what's truly important to me. And that's not the ISA or whatever mission I happen to have at the time." Shane smiled softly at his daughter. "What's important is my family. You and Andrew . . . Jeannie-"
Eve scoffed as she interrupted him. "Don't tell me you're falling for that lie?"
"It's not a lie," Shane said evenly. "Neil confirmed it against Jeannie's medical records. Jeannie is part of my family, but even if she wasn't my biological daughter, even before I knew the truth, I had already decided that we were going to raise our family together."
"We?" Eve gave him a dubious look.
"Me and Kimberly." Shane's eyes fixed on Eve's. "I love her, Eve. I love her and I've realized that I was a fool to push her away. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I have a lot to make up to them."
Eve shook her head. "But every time you're with her, she hurts you."
What Eve was saying was true, but she did not understand. "Maybe there's some truth to what you're saying, but that's part of loving someone as deeply as I love Kim. Yes, there are times when things are painful, but they are outweighed by the other times. For the longest time, I've tried to avoid being hurt, but do you know where that leads?"
"No," Eve replied.
"It leaves you alone," Shane said simply. "And that's not how I'm going to live anymore."
Eve sat back in her chair. "So, like that, you're going to go back to Kimberly and have your perfect little family."
Shane could hear the jealousy in Eve's tone. "Eve . . . are you worried that this might change how I feel about you?" Eve's silence served as confirmation. "Oh, honey . . . that won't ever happen. You know I love you. Nothing could possibly change that."
"Except for the perfect little girl," Eve muttered, looking down at the floor.
Shane reached out and took Eve's hand. "Do you remember when you first came to Salem and you told me I was your father?"
Eve nodded slightly.
"It was a shock at first, and then I felt so guilty. . . . Here it turned out that I had a daughter and I had missed so much of her life - of your life. I've missed Jeannie's first year, and will probably miss most of the next few. . . ." His voice trailed off at the reminder of the criminal charges still pending. "But maybe I can be the father to Jeannie that I was never able to be with you. Isn't that what you would've wanted, Eve? Isn't it?"
Eve looked up. "I guess. . . ." She sighed. "Look . . . you need your rest. You probably shouldn't be making a lot of decisions right now. What's most important is that you get better."
As much as I'll ever be able to. Shane tried to push that thought aside. Marcus had told him earlier that his recovery would be limited. It was just hard for Shane to figure out what that truly meant.
"So why don't you go back to sleep?" Eve suggested, interrupting his thought.
Shane had to concede that he was feeling tired again, and, soon enough, Marcus would return to force Shane to cough some more. He would need his strength for that.
"Okay," he said. "Just . . . do me a favor. . . . Try to be nice to Kim. She's been through a lot, and she's not to blame for what happened." At Eve's scowl, he repeated. "Try. Okay? Try it for me."
Eve responded with a dramatic roll of her eyes. "Fine. I'll try." Then she smiled, leaned over and kissed his cheek. "We'll talk about this later - when you're stronger."
As she walked out of the room, Shane sighed. He wished he could find a way to get his daughter to trust Kim, particularly when Kim loved Eve despite all the turmoil she brought to their family.
Their family.
The thought made him smile. It was so easy for him to think of them like that, and it felt so right. Shane closed his eyes and began to drift back asleep, as he pictured the five of them - Shane, Kim, Eve, Andrew and Jeannie - together. Eve could try to talk him out of it all she wanted, but she was wasting her breath. They would be a family again. That was all that was important.