Chapter 23: November Snow and Warm Lights

It was as if Dean couldn't help himself. His natural charm had been what had hooked him in the first place. Castiel had been well aware of his promiscuous nature but it hadn't bothered him at first. Of course, they hadn't been a... 'they' at first either. He thought his temper had been soothed by the assurances Dean had made after the Tara Benchley incident. Castiel hadn't realized how petty he could be. He wasn't sure why he was worried about a bunch of barely legal college kids. Perhaps it was an irritation that came with how empty his apartment felt. How cold his bed was at night.

"Man, Sammy would fit right in here."

Castiel huffed a little but the corner of his mouth lifted into a smile. "And you wouldn't?"

"Nah," Dean shrugged in his jacket and stared at the wisps of steam coming from his coffee. His breath came out in little clouds in front of him.

"Why not?"

"Higher education, not really my thing." Castiel raised an eyebrow. "I got a GED from high school. Was probably my dad's title more than anything that got me into the Academy."

"I'm not sure whether you're making disparaging marks about yourself or the caliber of the FBI."

"What?"

"The FBI Academy is very difficult to qualify for, Dean. I promise you that you would not have graduated if you didn't have a very special skill set. I'm not sure I like what you're trying to insinuate about yourself."

Dean's cheeks redden, bright in the winter cold, and hid his face in his coffee cup. "Whatever."

"Agent Novak, Agent Winchester."

Castiel looked up to see the local Reverend approaching. They'd been here for a day and a half already with no real leads, other than an apparent fixation on his daughter. When they'd arrived at the Theta Sorority at Eastern Iowa University, Dean had practically lit up. It had reminded Cas of the way a dog wagged its tail and paced around when told it was going to get a treat. 'Happily taken' didn't seem to hold much weight in the presence of sorority girls. He was pretty sure Dean was being more flamboyantly flirtatious on purpose. Since his admittance to jealousy, the second time if he counted the flirtations with Pam, Dean was like a dog with a bone on it. Dean had told him that there was a dark, possessive look that crossed his features when Dean flirted around that he enjoyed, or maybe he enjoyed the way Cas would ram him into walls to claim him after. It was a new habit that was both frustrating and sexually satisfying.

"How's Lori doing?" Dean asked.

"About as well as you'd expect," he took in a deep breath and as he exhaled; it almost looked like his body was collapsing underneath his worries.

"I assume she remains at-"

"Home, yes," the Reverend's eyes turned stubborn. "She's a victim in this. Just like those two other children."

"We know that, Reverend. It's just easier for everyone involved, including her, to stay as far away from the investigation as possible." The local Sheriff had approved for her to remain at her own house instead of being questioned at the jail. Castiel and the others had been more than happy to support that decision. True coincidence was rare and if the girl didn't have anything to do with it, she was being targeted.

"Anything new?"

"We'll call you if we get something. You should go home to your daughter," Dean put in. He clapped his hand shortly on the other man's shoulder. He used the brief contact to start turning him away from the sorority house. The man stumbled away, shaken, and looking back every few steps. "Poor guy."

Castiel hummed and then turned back towards the crime scene. They marched past the officers and ducked under the yellow tape to go investigate the bedroom. Bobby was talking to the locals while Pamela and Ellen were at the coroner's office to examine the body.

"Because that's not freaky."

Cas looked at the scratches in the wall. "How did she miss that?"

Dean flipped through a little notebook he carried to jot notes in. "Says she didn't turn on the light until morning."

Castiel carefully stepped around the puddles of blood on the floor. They'd dripped down from the sheets and made small circlets along the wooden ground. The bed was soaked. She'd bled out completely but the dark coloration of the blood suggested it had been slow. "The smell alone," Castiel mumbled. He knelt down to examine the sheets more closely. He dug in his back pocket for gloves and wriggled them onto his fingers. After one last snap to budge the air out he began pushing small parts of the blanket aside. "There aren't any gouges or marks on the bed."

"Not a single one?" Dean approached, feet sounding heavy as he crossed the room. His eyes trailed over the message on the wall, 'Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?' , before he crouched next to Cas. Their shoulders brushed but they didn't move apart. "Damn, you're right. There isn't anything to suggest she was killed somewhere else and moved here. There's a damn near perfect red imprint of her on the mattress."

"Perhaps she was flipped over after the fact?" Castiel suggested as he dug out his phone.

"Tell Ellen and Pam to check for defensive wounds, if they can isolate any under the blood and marks. It's the same weapon?"

Castiel smirked a little and tilted the screen of his phone to Dean. He'd already been typing out the message. "I would believe so, at the very least, both the boyfriend and this girl were bled out in the same way."

"But only one hung from a bridge," Dean shook his head and whistled. "How'd he even manage that without her noticing?"

"Fear and shock can do amazing things to the sense of time," Castiel mumbled as he turned back to the strange carvings on the wall. "Besides, she did say that she stayed locked in the car for a moment."

"I figure we can definitely say that it's after, her right? Or likes her or something."

"Hmm?"

"Well, I mean, he, she, it, whatever-"

"I think it's safe at this point to assume it's a man."

"Right, well anyway, he could've killed her. Once in the car after he got rid of the boyfriend, then he somehow managed to kill-" he thumbed through his notes again- "Taylor without anyone finding out 'till morning. Hell, he probably could've gotten away with sitting in the corner of the room all night if he'd wanted to."

"He's clever, I will give him that," Castiel snapped his phone shut, "but we will catch him."

"'Cause you're smarter than the average bear," Dean quipped as they left the room.

"I believe it's inappropriate to flirt at a crime scene."

"I waited until we left the room. I can behave."

Cas bit softly at his lower lip and gave Dean the full weight of his gaze. "You are one of the worst behaved men I have ever met."

"And you lo-"

The loud sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them. If they hadn't been better trained they might have sprung apart like rabbits.

Dean's shoulder's sagged in relief, "Bobby, you scared the hell out of me."

"Just be thankful it was me," the older man replied, giving them a warning look.

"Right." Dean turned away from them to attempt to poorly disguise his blush.

"What is it?"

"Talked to some of the girls. Turns out there was some shindig that went on last night so it's really not odd that the girls didn't hear anything. I also got a text from Pam. Girl's got perimortem bruising and a few snapped bones."

"How'd she figure that?"

"The local lady in charge of the autopsies has a few degrees under her belt."

"Holy shit, legit credits and all? Not a dentist or a failed gynecologist but a real life forensic specialist?" Dean smiled a little. "Why isn't she working the big cities?"

"Came from them actually, as far as I understand."

"The bruising, Agent Singer," Castiel interrupted. While he was as impressed as Dean was, he wasn't exactly interested in a living person's life story unless it helped the case.

"Means she was held down. Guy had to be strong too, they're trying to figure out the biometrics for the son of a bitch right now. They think he bruised her throat, so she couldn't really scream, and judging by the breaks on her bones he used his knees to keep her from flailing around."

Dean winced, "Sounds violent."

"It was. But it does narrow down a suspect pool at least by body type. Haven't seen a beefed up guy or gal on campus all day that could pull off that kinda pressure and still wield a weapon."

"Have agents Harvelle or Barnes figured anything out about the weapon yet?"

"They're talking to Charlie about it right now. I'm pretty sure I'm meant to fetch you two back to station. We've got a detail on the Sorenson family just in case we get another attack."

"I feel that we will," Castiel said as they made their way down the stairs and to the van. "The cooling period between the first and second kill was two days. We're about to hit the evening of the second day."

"I doubt he'd be that methodical," Bobby grumbled as he hoisted himself in the driver's seat.

"Well he's at least got some weird ritualistic fantasy going on," Dean said as he nudged around Cas, claiming shot gun. Castiel tried not to pinch him in retaliation. Instead, with as much grace as he could muster, he slid into the backseat.

"Which would imply he at least has the ability to follow a repetitive set or schedule."

"At least it's not some thug. They're dime a dozen."

Castiel hummed in agreement and watched the scenery go by as they made it to the coroner's office. They met Pamela and Ellen outside of the autopsy room.

"So?" Dean asked as Pamela tossed her used rubber gloves at him. He grimaced a little but dropped them into the trash can next to him.

"Well, call me crazy but the consensus is a hook."

"Come again?" Bobby leaned against one the tables, eyes skeptical.

"A hook," Pamela repeated. She took a stack of files from Ellen and flipped through the pictures. "I figured I'd save you the trouble of poking around the body so I took my own pictures." She stopped at a few close ups of the wounds. "See the way the skin is torn? It's ragged and messy for one. It's not very good news for her, it means it was painful. For us it means that there were also particulates left behind. They're being analyzed right now."

"Well and good, but what about the hook?"

"We sent a few scans to Charlie to confirm it, and she's trying to figure out more specific dimensions. But when I pushed into the wound, the way that the skin tore was curved... when the point of the weapon sank in and was pulled back it tore pieces off along with it. The way that the flesh split around it leaves a ragged curve."

"So we're looking for a ritualistic nutter who chose to use a hook as a weapon," Dean said as he pulled his phone out. "I"m gonna call Charlie to see if she has any news on the material."

They watched as Dean rounded the corner mumbling about reception and glancing at his phone.

"How's the girl doing?" Ellen asked.

"We haven't been to see her yet. Her father dropped by after bringing her home."

"Should probably go check up on her."

"We were planning on it after this. We were hoping to have more to question her with."

"She's gonna need some major therapy."

"So-" they turned to see Dean approaching, waving his phone. "Charlie got a call from the lab they sent the particulates to. It's silver."

"Silver?" Bobby repeated. "A silver hook is our murder weapon."

Dean shrugged and slid his phone into his pocket. "Don't shoot the messenger."

"So we've established he's, what, insane?" Ellen said as they marched down the hallway. There was nothing more for them to do at the lab.

"Which means he's dangerous," Castiel reminded them, feeling uneasy. At the very least if there was method to madness it could be controlled. It could be used against him. Still, how meticulous he was in his murders meant that he had some cognitive reasoning abilities.

They'd have to play it very carefully.

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Dean rolled up the window of the car. The evening had gotten chillier than he expected. He was stuck on watch duty over the girl with Bobby. They didn't want to spook off the guy too bad with police presence, fearing that the killer would take off never to be seen again, so they were huddled in one of their black vans in the cold. If their theories were right, which they generally were, he would 'come for her' again tonight. The team still hadn't isolated quite what the killer wanted (no evidence of sexual conduct at either scene) from Lori but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"My ass is going numb."

Bobby glanced over from his book. They'd decided to take turns with the staring out the window. Dean had drawn first shift. "Nothing I can do about that, Princess."

"A little sympathy would be nice."

"I ain't here to make your life more comfortable."

"Grouchy, old man," Dean mumbled as he set his binoculars to his face. All the lights in the not-so modest house were still on. His phone started ringing in his pocket. Although he'd been hoping it was Cas, it didn't disappoint to see his brother's name flash on the screen.

"What's up Sammy?"

"Dean, you really shouldn't be sending me case information."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Relax Gigantor. Before you get your panties in a twist, I have clearance. You work for the Bureau now. It makes you a valuable asset."

"Right."

"Be a skeptic on your own time, dude. What've you got for me?"

He could hear Sam sigh dramatically on the phone. "Well, Charlie and Ash tracked me down with some of the images you found."

"And?" Dean asked, leaning forward in his seat. Bobby placed his phone down and raised an eyebrow. "Hold on Sammy. I'm putting you on speaker."

"Sam Winchester."

"Agent Singer. It's good to hear from you." Sam didn't wait for a reply. "Whoever your guys is, he's off his rocker. Like in a massive case of delusional obsession."

"How come?"

"There's not been a case like this across the United States so your man is a local. I'm betting these are his first kills, but I'm also betting when you catch the guy no one will really know who he is. No one notices him."

"No one but Lori?"

"Lori did something, all right. Could've been a passing glance, a smile. Anything. These types of guys don't need a reason. That's up to you guys to figure out. Speaking of, how is she?"

"Good," Dean mumbled. As the words left his mouth his eyes snapped to the door of the house. Looking a little distraught, but not in any way that raised alarm bells, she walked out. They watched her as she settled onto the stone bench, glaring up at her house.

"What's going on?"

"Uh, nothing. Lori just walked out of the house and is just hanging out in her front yard."

"Do we reign her back into the house?" Bobby asked, one hand already on the handle of the car door.

"I'd say let the girl breathe. She's had a stressful few days."

"Right, hey, listen. Call Pam or Ellen, give 'em any other relevant information." He flipped his phone shut and slid out of seat belt. At the very least they should go keep her company. They couldn't protect her out here. At least in the house they had all major points of entry covered amongst them and the other cover team.

"Hold on," Bobby put his hand out across Dean's chest to stop him from getting up. The good Reverend was at the door, quietly yelling something at his daughter. She stood up, dusting her pants off, glowering as she walked towards her house.

She stopped and screamed.

A man stepped in behind her father, a silver blade glittering in the porch light as it impaled his chest. He'd been in the house already. Waiting. Fuck.

"Damn it!" Dean cursed as he slid out of the car, letting Bobby radio in what had happened. "Bobby!" he yelled back as he bolted past Lori. He didn't have time to stop to make sure she was safe, the Reverend was the first priority. Besides, Bobby would make sure she was secured. The hallway was in ruins, vases smashed, blood spatters along the hallway. The arcs weren't wide enough for arterial damage. The guy might be alive yet. Screaming from up the stairs caught his attention and he ran up, taking two at a time.

He got to the last room in the hallway just in time to see the man jumping out of the window. Angry and shocked he ran to the window and aimed his gun through it and down. Without waiting or worrying about catching him alive he fired at the dark shape rolling out of the soft bushes that had broken his fall. Dean failed to hit his mark. He would've pursued if it hadn't in fact been a two story fall. They'd have to go back to the drawing board on some of this nut jobs athletic ability. Even more worrisome, the window was the only one with layers of soft bushes underneath it. He'd been watching the family house for awhile. Dean cursed his hesitation. He might've been able to survive the drop without broken bones.

A groan behind him got his attention. He slid his side arm back into its holster and dropped to the floor, keeping pressure on what wounds he could see. The medics arrived in time for the Reverend to slip unconscious. They managed to stabilize him at the hospital.

"A big, dark, scary man?" Ellen asked, staring at Dean in disbelief.

"I"m telling you, dude. Brown trench coat, some big fucking hat so I couldn't really see his face, and a hook at the end of his hand."

"Bull shit."

"And he jumped out of a second story window?" Pamela spun a pencil along the table, staring at him with just as much disbelief as Ellen.

"It is possible." Dean turned around to find Castiel walking towards him. "The jumping out of the window thing, that is. Charlie did some biometric work and stimulation. Especially with the thick, soft shrubbery to break his fall any one of us could probably take a leap. The rest I'm not so sure on."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Cas."

"You must admit, that's a rather unique outfit."

"Hey, I saw kids in high school wearing flasher coats and big brimmed hats all the time."

"Fine, whatever. Look, outside of wardrobe what do we do now? Are we gonna wait another two days? Is he even going to come back? We've got Lori in the hospital with enough security to make the president jealous," Ellen said as she got up to refill her coffee.

"Very true," Castiel bit the inside of his lip, slightly enough for Dean to notice, and stared at the wall. His shoulders hunched in a way that Dean knew he wouldn't like what he had to say next. "We could take her out of the hospital."

"What? Why? There's a crazy serial killer killing off her loved ones and you want to take her out?"

"Not just out, Dean."

Bobby grunted quietly and gave a thoughtful nod of his head. Pamela and Ellen were quick to follow up with the thought. Dean frowned as he looked between them, feeling terribly slow. He got an awful wasp type buzz in his gut and tried to ignore it. Even Cas wouldn't play with someone's life like that, surely? "You want to use her as bait?" Dean made sure the last word came out hissed, filled with as much disapproval as he could get into the sound. Castiel didn't even flinch. Those cool eyes stared at him for a long moment until Dean cursed. He was serious. "We can't fuckin' do that."

"It would be an environment we can control. We need him to come back."

"We are not toying with her life like that."

"I would not classify that as toying."

Dean stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. He leveled Cas with a look. "We're not doing this."

Castiel shook his head. "I'm afraid we are, Dean. If you would rather sit this one out, you can. In the mean time I will go inform Miss Lori of our plans."

"You're just gonna let him do this?" Dean asked the rest of the team, anger pulsing like a warm current underneath his skin. He swept his arm after Cas, eyes wide.

Ellen frowned but shrugged, "We don't really have the luxury of an ideal situation."

"It's not the first time we've done this," Pamela admitted. "No one's died yet."

"That doesn't make it right."

"Right and wrong aren't exactly something we get to squabble about right now," Bobby agreed. "And he is right, you don't have to be in the raid. He's given you permission to sit this one out. Didn't even make it a direct order."

Dean scowled. Some of his bad mood also had to do with how he'd been singled out by this one action. He wondered if it had been anyone else if he would've been ordered to do it. Hell, it had been awhile since Castiel had really put his foot down as his superior, as his boss. It sucked to remember that. The fact that he'd forgotten the pecking order due to their intimacy made him nervous. Scared almost. He let that cold energy calm him down to a focus. It terrified him that they might not be able to work together. They'd been doing so well for months. "No, I'll be there." Even to him his voice sounded pouty.

Luckily, the rest of the team ignored him. Bobby handed him a vest. "Suit up and let's go."

… … … … … … … … … … … .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . .

The snow flurried outside of the window, almost beating against the walls of glass. Although the airport was heated just looking outside made for a cold atmosphere.

"Here."

Dean pulled his eyes away from the scenery and looked up to see Castiel holding out a slice of pie and a steaming cup of hot coffee out to him. Reluctantly, he took the offered items from the other man.

"The girl is safe," Castiel mumbled from above him. Like he needed a reminder.

Dean shifted in his chair and ran his fork along the top of the pie. The crust was crispy and gleaming with sugar. Pretty damn good looking for an airport pastry. "I know." Neither of them said anything for a moment. "Stop hovering," Dean added, tone a little more snappish than he intended.

"My apologies." Cas stepped back from him a made to move away. Dean almost let him.

"Cas. Stop. Just, go get yourself a slice and sit down. You know I hate being stared at while I eat." As if to prove his point, that he really was okay, he bit into the slice of still warm apple pie. He closed his eyes for a moment to appreciate the flavor and when he opened them Cas was gone. Dean looked over his shoulder to see him standing at the food counter.

"It looks like the flight will be delayed overnight," Castiel offered as he sat down next to Dean, though he couldn't notice how Cas had shifted his chair as far away from his as possible.

"That's a shame," Dean commented as he bit back into his meal. He tried not to think too hard on the distance between them. It's not like he could throw stones. He'd agreed to use the Lori girl as bait to lure the guy out too. And the team had been right. She'd been safe the entire time and even grateful by the time it was all over. That still didn't make it okay in his books.

"Yes, it is."

The soft clink of forks on ceramic plates filled the space between them. Dean curled his free hand around the cup of coffee that he'd been brought and took a sip. Just how he liked it. Cas had introduced him to a little bit of a more interesting way to blend his 'coffee black'. It made his gut clench a little. No way the airport mixed it like this, Cas had probably done it by hand and knowing him thrown away every one he tried that wasn't perfect. As he closed his eyes and took a longer gulp he thought back to Cas' apartment. He missed having his coffee ready to go in the mornings.

"I'm really not looking forward to sleeping on airport chairs," Dean grumbled. It was the best he could offer. A little bit of conversation to try and ease the tension. He wasn't mad at Cas. He was mad at himself for not having figured out an alternative way to keep the girl safe. Putting civilian lives at risk was not something he was trained for.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a hotel for the night."

Dean glanced over at Cas. He watched him as Castiel stirred a little bit of sugar into his coffee. The other man refused to look up at him. There was something stiff and almost sad in the way his usually elegant hands moved. It wasn't something he liked to see. Dean bit down some of the bitterness clinging to his chest. He didn't like having these icky, muddy feelings. He knew himself well enough that there was nothing he could do about it. Instead, he made a joke. "Not like all of us can afford it, Cas."

Castiel's eyes flitted up to his quickly. It was long enough for Dean to pull a thread of hurt from the one look. Cas didn't respond as he focused on methodically stirring his coffee. He'd stopped eating.

"Flight number 459 to Norfolk International Airport in Virginia has been canceled due to severe weather."

"There are choices, hard choices we have to make as agents, Dean. Not just agents, but for me-," Castiel sighed and pushed his full plate aside."I was a soldier, a very good one, I've done special ops- no nothing I can tell you about- but decisions like these are par for the course. They are decisions I have to make and will continue to make. I can not apologize for that necessity." His tone was neutral. Impersonal. Clipped.

Dean listened silently and didn't respond even as he heard Cas' chair scrape. They were the good guys, they didn't play around with lives like that. Still... His fingers trembled with how hard he was holding onto the coffee cup. This wasn't something that should've bothered him so much, it sure as hell wasn't something that should be driving such a damn wedge between them. He didn't know everything his father had done but had known John hadn't exactly played by a golden saint rule book either. How could he worship one man and condemn another? This wasn't like him.

Dean turned around and felt panic beat against his stomach. Cas was nowhere to be seen.

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Castiel sighed as he waited for his cab. If something this small was going to ruin them then... He closed his eyes as he thought of what he'd done in his lifetime. Suddenly he felt tired, weary, older than his a little over thirty years. He already felt exhausted enough in body and mind with the Lucifer case. He hadn't been able to tell Dean, too worried of revealing personal information, and not wanting to seem like a coward; but he'd been having nightmares. His apartment felt colder, bigger than it had been. Which was strange since it had always felt a little cramped and the large windows faced the sun and it warmed the apartment. His bed felt vast and empty.

He'd tried a few nights to sleep on the couch, it had helped in some ways. For the first few nights the blankets had smelled like Dean and he wrapped himself up warmly in them. They'd still shared brief touches and kisses but with the renovations on the apartment that needed to be finished there wasn't much time. He missed the warmth of Dean's hand on his skin and now it felt like he may never have it again.

If Dean was so bothered with his game plan with the girl, Lori, then they would never work. While his nightmares were not filled fully with fact, shadows and dark truths under his bed, they were close enough. Flashes of his parents house, the blood soaked into the floor like a new carpet. His first deployment that led to them finding his home in Suffolk. The special ops missions after that left him scarred in ways that even stitches hadn't been able to fix. He'd been very careful too, of angling himself in ways to where Dean wouldn't see them. Of course, Dean had his own share. It wasn't vanity that kept him hidden. He was concerned about the questions that would follow.

Some nights his dreams made him doubt if he was a good man at all.

A harsh wind swept across the open air of the terminal and Castiel had to pull the sides of his jacket up to cover his face from the frost. A loud honking noise made him pull it back down so that he could squint at a cab flashing its lights at him. Castiel adjusted the strap on his duffel and stepped forward. He nearly fell backwards again, foot slipping in the snow, as a strong force yanked him back. Before he could flounder too much he landed in steady, warm arms. Confused, and very embarrassed, he pushed himself away and up to look at whoever had needed his attention so desperately.

Dean's cheeks were bright red and little white puffs escape from his mouth with every hurried exhale. Before Castiel could say anything Dean put two gloved hands against his face, cradling him. "It's below freezing, Cas, and gonna get colder. I'm not sure you should be sleeping alone."

Castiel nearly laughed. Dean's eloquence knew no bounds but he knew an extended olive branch when he saw one. He steadied himself, using Dean's bicep and a strong grip to settle himself upright, before gently dragging him into the cab. It took saint like self-control to keep his hands off of Dean. He'd even behaved himself in the lobby and in the elevator.

Once the door to their hotel room shut he'd spun around, preparing to push first but Dean had been ahead of him.

Dean shoved him into the wall and licked at his ice cold lips. He breathed warmth back into them with every small nip and press of his warm mouth. Talented hands vested him of his coat. Castiel made a surprised, pitched noise when Dean's hands snuck their way underneath his buttoned up shirt. They were freezing as they trailed along his skin, leaving goosebumps behind. The buttons were taken care of quickly and Castiel soon found himself naked from the waist up. Dean smirked at him as he knelt, slowly, trailing his hot tongue over the icy paths his fingers had created.

"Dean," Castiel whined out, trying to drag him back up to rid him of his clothing too. It felt ridiculous that Dean still had his winter coat on.

"Cas," Dean ground out, the sound almost painful, as he lurched back up to press their lips together. Castiel helped Dean shrug out of the layers of jackets until they were evenly matched. "Cold!" Dean complained as Castiel kneaded his own fingers across Dean's back.

"I missed you too, Dean."

"Good."

They stumbled along the hallway until Cas forced them apart. He hadn't even taken a look at the layout of the room. While it was very hot and attractive, he wasn't sure how his back would feel about bumping into walls until they found the door to the bedroom. God forbid he found one he thought was it and they fell backwards into a closet. "Bed," Castiel commanded and Dean nodded, eagerly. Castiel shimmied his way out of his pants as he slid open the small separator to the bedroom.

"You don't skimp out on hotels much," Dean mumbled, suddenly behind him and very happy to be there. Castiel moaned and ground back. While he'd only managed to get his jeans off, Dean was naked and hard against him.

"I have the money, why shouldn't I use it?"

"Point." Dean leaned over, using his height to his advantage, and bit at Cas' ear as he yanked his boxers down. The touch of Dean's cock to his bare ass made him gasp. He tried to turn around but Dean's grip on him squeezed. The arms around him wrapped tighter, trapping him against the stronger, taller man. He'd forgotten just how much raw strength Dean possessed and how much he missed having it used against him.

"Bed, please?" Castiel begged as Dean breathed into his ear, making his body shudder.

"Alright." Castiel could hear the smirk in the other man's voice. It wasn't long before he found himself on the bed, his arms pinned above his head in one hand, while Dean's other worked along his shaft. It had been far too long. "No-no teasing."

Dean chuckled, and it was dark and possessive. The look in his eyes matched. "Come on, Cas. We've got the time, so let's use it." Dean's fingers trailed softly over the head of his cock and down again. He lifted his hand only briefly to massage at Castiel's thighs. Dean had once told him that one of his favorite parts about having sex with him, was watching those muscles twitch underneath him. The barely contained strength in his body and that Dean was the one making him immobile.

They'd had sparring matches before, of course, under the supervision of the bureau in training, but still. They were both very well aware of the power contained in each other's bodies. Castiel found he got off on being overpowered, and Dean was the only one who was powerful enough to do it.

"Hey, attention here," Dean said sharply, slapping him lightly on the thigh. Castiel just moaned in response. Dean grinned which made Cas blush. They'd yet to have gotten too adventurous in bed. Castiel had kept it light due to Dean's injuries. His eyes flitted to the younger man's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Dean's voice was softer and his movements less hurried.

"Nothing," Castiel said but his eyes remained on Dean's shoulder, imagining the burns that ran along his back.

"I'm fine, Cas." Castiel's eyes finally moved to Dean's and he felt a part of his heart suffocating. He'd missed the warmth in them. What Dean lacked in words he made up for in actions, in emotions. It was the right kind of drowning. Castiel nodded but still gently tugged his wrists loose from Dean's grip. He let him.

Dean let himself be moved back a little as Castiel sat up. He reaches back behind and found the scars. He smiled a little. The skin was healing magnificently. Originally, he'd been able to lightly run his finger and feel the bunched tissue. Now, he had to push and rely on memory to find the edges. The wonder must have shown on his face because Dean broke out into laughter, his body shaking the bed.

"What's so funny?" Castiel asked, withdrawing his hand.

"The look on your face, man," Dean said shaking his head. A few more chuckles bubbled past his lips and he shook his head again. He leaned down and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose, moving to each eye before capturing his mouth. He slid his tongue along the parted lips, dipping in a little and drawing back out before Castiel's own tongue could chase him. "I told you, I'm fine." Dean's expression morphed into a smirk, one eyebrow coming up a little, "I can show you exactly how fine."

"And how do you propose you're going to do tha-"

Castiel's sentence died in his throat as Dean slid down his body. There was no warning given before Dean's mouth was on him. Castiel's hands were left free to roam across the sheets on the bed. He sighed in relief as Dean moved back before plunging his mouth back down. Castiel relaxed into the rhythm, feeling high off of endorphins, when his body clenched and a ragged moan was ripped out of him. Dean's fingers had gone exploring, working him open enough to slide the tip of one finger inside. He pulled his mouth off of Castiel's cock and let his lips slide across the slippery head. He stared up at Castiel. "I want to fuck you."

"We-" Castiel groaned as Dean tightened his grip around Castiel's shaft. "L-lube, condoms."

"Didn't your STD test say you were clean," Dean said with a teasing grin on his face. Still, he drew back and away, making Castiel whine. He watched with confusion as Dean sauntered across the room. His heart stopped for a moment as Dean knelt down at this bag, rummaging through it for something. Even with, the now only slightly discolored scars, Dean's back was one of his favorite features of the man. He watched the muscles move smoothly underneath the skin as Dean explored through the bag.

"Like what you see?" Dean called over his shoulder, amused.

Castiel frowned and tried to glare. The effect was a little hard to take seriously, sprawled naked and hard on a bed. "What are you doing?"

Dean smiled and finally pulled out what he'd been looking for. A packet of condoms and lube. Castiel's mouth froze in a soft 'o' and he couldn't help his body keening upwards, legs spreading apart a fraction. He watched, with great satisfaction, as the smile slipped off of Dean's face and something more primal replaced it.

"It's a good thing I didn't eat much today," Castiel tried to joke. The look in Dean's eyes was too much.

Dean didn't respond. He simply strode over and tossed the items onto Cas' stomach. His abdominal muscles rippled at the impact and he let out a little 'oof'. "Stay," Dean said as he crawled back onto the bed. Castiel could only nod, not trusting what type of whines and gasps would escape his throat if he opened his mouth. It wasn't until Dean had his fingers coated in the lube, rubbing against him in small circles, dipping in and out until the second knuckle that Castiel protested.

"Wait-wait, Dean." Dean's fingers stilled, trapped snugly inside of Cas but he didn't bother to move more. "We- shouldn't."

Dean frowned, this time he did pull his fingers out, wiping the excess lube on the sheets beside them. He crawled up Cas' body, kissing gently as he went before resting his mouth softly to Castiel's. "Why?"

Castiel blushed and felt ridiculous. He'd imagined this moment so many times. He'd imagined it every time he was alone in the shower, having woken up before Dean. He'd imagined it sitting in the office and watching him through glass and blinds, not being allowed to touch. He'd played out scenarios in his mind, the romantic evening, the thundering of his heart. He'd always known he was a bit of a romantic when it came to even his sexual life but nothing had made it flare to life like Dean. He'd always been the type but Dean made it a challenge, especially, considering that Dean wasn't a man of many flowers and candle lit dinners.

"What's wrong, Cas?" This time Dean sounded genuinely concerned.

If it hadn't been for the tone in his voice, and the worried eyes peering down at him he might've hedged about answering. "We're at a hotel."

Dean smiled a little and tilted his head, confused. He looked around at the room and nodded his head, "I think we established that a while ago."

"Dean-" Cas' tone was frustrated.

"Talk to me, Cas."

"I don't wanna mess this up. It has to be right."

Dean frowned down at him and kissed his eyebrow. His clean hand carded through the strands of hair that lay sprawled in a halo around his head. He glanced down between them, "I think this is pretty hard to mess up. It's not exactly my first rodeo."

Castiel made a frustrated sound and rolled them over. He straddled Dean's thighs, groaning a little as he realized his mistake. Dean's cock rubbed against the crevice of his ass and it took all of his willpower not to sit up and sink down. "Mixed signals, Cas," Dean ground out, clenching his hands into the sheets in an effort not to grab Cas' hips.

"Look," Castiel moaned out, frustrated. This wasn't how he'd planned it. He was a man of plans, of schedules and exact measurements. "It has to be right."

"We've never done,-" Dean shifted his hips up, his cock sliding in between Castiel's cheeks, making them both groan "- this before, you mean?"

"Yes!" Castiel looked away and was only brought back by calloused hands on his cheeks and chin. He found Dean staring at him with a fond expression.

"It means a lot to you, huh?" Castiel nodded his head, feeling ridiculous. He was a grown man, he'd had sex before. This wasn't supposed to be so hard. "Why isn't now good?"

Relieved that Dean wasn't going to get angry or throw him out of the bed he looked around. "We're at some hotel in Iowa, stuck due to a winter blizzard. There's nothing- nothing," Castiel struggled for the words. "You're important, Dean. I want to show you how important."

Dean chuckled underneath him and Castiel was almost became offended until he was pulled down into a soft kiss. "This is perfect, Cas."

"How?"

"I'm not exactly a high maintenance guy," Dean shushed him as Castiel tired to protest. "I'm really not. This? This is perfect. No co-workers," Dean leaned up and coaxed a moan out of Castiel with his lips and his tongue. Dean pressed kisses at Cas' soft, plump, lower lip before moving down his neck. He sucked a little, swirling his tongue along the area before biting down and repeating. "No Sam to interrupt," Dean breathed, his breath ghosting over the wet mark and making Castiel shiver. "No Sam to be quiet for," Dean added and even Castiel had to chuckle at that.

Castiel sighed and relaxed a little as Dean's nimble hands kneaded across his tense shoulders and arms. He had to admit, he'd always had men of a higher maintenance to woo. He'd never been able to be so lax with someone he cared for. Dramatic gestures had been his norm but the sweet things Dean was whispering were making it hard to argue. The reason spoke to his own sense of logic, the warmth in his voice to his heart, and Dean's talented hands and mouth to his lust.

Before Castiel could find a response a phone started ringing in the other room. They both groaned, pausing for a moment to figure out whose ring tone it was. It was Dean's. Gently, the other man rolled him off and sat up. Dean looked down at him, eyes raking across his body. "I'll go ahead and answer that. Think about it, if by the time you get back, you don't wanna go any further, fine, we won't. My libido hasn't starved to death yet. But if it's a go, "Dean smirked and reached for the lube. He tossed it towards Castiel, from where he'd found it on the edge of the bed, whose hand snapped out to catch it out of the air. "Be ready for me."

Castiel glanced around the room as he rolled the lube in his hands. He stared out of the window, watching as the snow fall slowed. The dim lights of the hotel lamps, yellow and dark, reminded him of candle light. He could hear the whistling of the wind outside of the window and shivered. He closed his eyes and let his hands trail along his body. The room smelled like Dean. Dean's voice, muffled in the distance, made his heart flutter.

He slicked his fingers up with lube and pressed into himself, one hand running up and down his cock.

"I take it that's a yes?"

Castiel's eyes snapped open and he smiled, the expression turning into a smirk as he spread his legs and let Dean watch as his own fingers disappeared into the tight ring of muscles. Dean groaned and touched at his own cock, stroking it back to full hardness and length. Castiel was a sticky mess by the time Dean had crawled over to him, struggling to be patient enough to roll the condom on properly. In the end, Castiel had reached over to help, pleased with himself as Dean bucked into the circle of his hand.

"Last chance to back out," Dean groaned, a firm hand gripped around the base of his cock.

"Fuck me, Dean," Castiel said, pulling him down and spreading his legs. He attempted to roll over, so that the other man would have easier access. Instead, Dean laughed a little and brought him back down to the mattress. His hand was a steady press of force against his shoulder, keeping him pinned.

"I wasgoing to pound you into the mattress," Dean whispered, voice husky and out of breath already. "But all that schmoopy stuff," Castiel smacked him in the bicep with his free arm, drawing a laugh out of both of them, "I think this way is just fine."

"I didn't think you were a missionary type man," Castiel bit back, lifting up and grabbing Dean by the tip of his cock. He watched the man's eyes flutter for a moment as Castiel felt the hard press of Dean against his entrance. He wiggled a little, trying to get more of a reaction out of him.

"You're lucky we prepped so well, Cas," Dean moaned out, possessive. One of his hands slid into Castiel's hair, gripping it tightly. The hand that had been on his shoulder moved down to his hip. He felt himself be lifted from the mattress a little and then there was nothing but the sensation of being filled. Dean hadn't hesitated.

Castiel felt himself open up around him as Dean pushed himself in. One, long, slow thrust. Fighting to bottom out against the tight heat.

"That good?" Dean leaned down and sucked and bit at Castiel's exposed throat.

Castiel panted, hands clutching tightly at Dean's sides, a whimper escaping him as Dean pulled back slowly. He pulled out until only the head of his cock remained before sliding back in with more force.

"I asked you a question."

Castiel closed his eyes tightly and tried to keep Dean inside of him as the man pulled back again. His body jerked along the bed as Dean thrust back in, both of them moaning.

"Yes- yes, Dean. Perfect. Just like that."

"Good," Dean whispered into Castiel's ear before leaning back and hoisting Castiel's legs over his shoulders.

Neither of them noticed Castiel's phone buzzing in the distance, screen flashing 'Zachariah' as it vibrated in the depths of his bag.

A/N: Sorry it's been since Halloween that I updated but those of you who follow my work tumblr know how shit things have been. This wasn't actually how I planned their first penetrative time happening but it kinda gave birth to itself while I wrote. The next chapter already has a page written so that's there. Now excuse me while I go bury myself in the sand for forever because oh god I wrote some more smut. We've got about (for those who didn't see the update) 7 chapters left. IF the plan I'm working with is going to work out as it's supposed to. This was supposed to have the next chapter in it but I got to 16 pages and just hit a stopping point that felt right. My classes end Dec. 12th so updates should be faster (if my personal life gets better).

Also; small note on the anal sex. Personally, I'm always grossed out whenever authors describe douching and cleaning out all the gunk in your trunk before anal sex. I just am. But on Cas' comment, if you're planning on having anal sex (or seeing someone you think might enjoy it) eating light meals keeps your... areas pretty clean. Light salads, crackers. Foods that have heavy protein in them (they keep you up longer than starches) but avoid meat products. The best way to have 100% clean anal sex of course is to eat light, and give yourself an enema but sex in general is kinda weird to talk about. So if I skip over certain... cleaning things in the future I am aware of how anal sex works. I just don't want to talk about it in my literature. :)

K has not beta'd this yet and that's on me. Beta'd Dec. 13h.