"Are you sure it's okay?" Kim asked Marcus once more.
He smiled and motioned with his head to the door. "Go ahead. It'll be good for him."
"He's physically okay?"
"Kim, it's okay." Marcus chuckled at her hesitance. "He's probably hurting. I changed the pain meds a little, and we had him walking just a little while ago. But this is probably just what he needs."
Kim understood. Over the past few days, ever since Shane had woken up, the doctors had been pushing him to get out of bed and walk. During Kim's visits, Shane had tried to keep up a brave front, but she could tell that he was in pain and struggling with how weak he was. And, knowing Shane, the effort of keeping up a front was taking a toll on his psyche as well.
He was never a man to think of his limits. Kim thought back to when they first met and the casual way Shane joked about the danger he faced. He was always supremely confident in his plans and never seemed to feel fear. He had joked about death, but Kim doubted he had ever really thought about being injured permanently. Even when he had been shot before, Shane recovered quickly. Now, however, he was facing a lengthy recovery and even that would not be fully successful. Kim knew that was a hard prognosis for Shane to accept, and each day of weakness would only hammer home in Shane's mind that he would never be the same as before the shooting.
"Kim?" Marcus' voice intruded into her thoughts.
"I'm sorry," she said. "You'll wait here?"
Marcus nodded. "Until you say the word."
Turning, Kim knocked lightly on the door of Shane's room and then entered, pulling the door closed behind her. She hesitated when she realized Shane was not alone; Eve was sitting in the chair beside his bed.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she asked.
Shane smiled. "No, of course not. Eve was just giving me the low-down on her adventures in Africa." Despite his cheery expression, Kim could see the tightness in Shane's jaw and how pale he was. She could tell he was making an effort to hide his pain.
"Well, if you don't mind. . . . I have a bit of a surprise for you." She looked from Shane to Eve, waiting for a hostile response from the girl.
To Kim's surprise, Eve looked back placidly. "Go ahead - as long as it's a good surprise."
There was a slightly snide undertone, but it dawned on Kim that her exchanges with Eve the past few days had been less hostile than previously. Maybe, now that Shane was awake, Eve was letting some of her anger go. Then Kim remembered the reason she was there and turned back to the door.
"Okay, Marcus," she called out. "Come on in."
The door opened a crack, just enough for Andrew to race into the room. "Daddy," he cried out in excitement.
Shane's excitement was equally plain. "Oh, Andrew!" he said. "Come here and give your old man a hug."
Andrew hesitated slightly as he took in the IV tubes and other equipment in the hospital room. Then he looked at Kim.
Crouching down beside her son, she said, "Remember what I said? It's okay, but you just have to be careful so you don't jostle Daddy too much."
"Don't worry," Shane added. He grimaced as he sat up a little more in the bed. "Come on over here, Sport."
At Shane's urging, Andrew crossed to the bed and scrambled onto the chair that Eve vacated so he could reach Shane. Tentatively, Andrew climbed onto the edge of the bed and gave Shane a hug.
"I missed you, Daddy," he said. "I was so scared."
Shane smiled - a genuine smile, Kim could tell. "I've missed you too." He looked up at Kim, the same smile on his face. "Thank you."
"Oh, I'm not done," Kim said. Not by a long shot. She stepped through the door to where Marcus was standing. He was holding Jeannie in his arms and passed her to Kim. Turning back, Kim walked back into the room.
"Your daughter wants to see her daddy too."
Shane looked up from the bed, his eyes fixed on Jeannie. He swallowed tightly and Kim could see the mix of emotions at play in his expression.
"I . . . I don't know. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off. Then, nervously, he asked, "What do I say?"
Kim carried Jeannie to the bed. With a smile, she said, "I don't think you need to say anything. I think it's time for you to hold your baby girl."
"Uh huh," said Marcus, who was standing just inside the doorway. "No lifting."
"What if I just held her for a minute?" Shane's question sounded almost like he was pleading.
Marcus relented. "Okay, but just a minute, and I don't want you lifting her."
As Shane nodded, Kim carefully lowered Jeannie into Shane's arms. He really was not lifting her. Propped against the pillows, he was mainly bracing her between his arm and chest.
"There you go, sweetheart," he said softly. Kim could not hear any other words. She just heard Shane's voice, low and quiet. Jeannie watched him, transfixed, then broke into a big smile.
"I think she's happy to see you," Kim said.
Shane looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Once again, he said, "Thank you." His voice broke with emotion.
Kim started to reply, but Andrew interrupted. "Mommy said you're Jeannie's daddy too."
"That's right," Shane said. Quietly, he added, "Jeannie's my daughter."
"Does that mean we're going to be a family again?" Andrew looked at Kim first, then at Shane.
That's the $64,000 question, isn't it? Kim asked herself. She felt that unease that had been plaguing her since the night of Shane's shooting. "Well-"
"Yes, it does," Shane said, with a degree of certainty that Kim did not feel. He smiled at Andrew then up at Kim. "We're going to be a family, just like we used to be."
Kim felt her heart flutter, unsure about how to respond. She was so uncertain. She loved Shane; that was not in doubt. She just did not know if she could trust him. Would he push her away again?
But she found herself unable to say that as she looked into Shane's eyes. They gleamed with almost as much hope as Andrew's.
There was no way she could dash that hope right now.
So instead of saying anything, Kim just smiled softly at the picture of Shane with their two, beautiful children - Andrew seated beside him and Jeannie nestled in the crook of his arm.
I want that so much. I want us to be a family. I just don't know.
Shane obviously took her smile as a sign that she agreed. He looked back at a beaming Andrew and repeated, "That's right, Sport. We're going to be a family again."