DISCLAIMER:: do not own ::sigh::
A/N:: so hopefully this chapter will clear some of the questions up. there will be more in depth analysis in later chapters as the story progesses. thank you for all the interest in this story so far, it's better than i ever could have hoped. i hope you all continue to stick with this story. also, special thank you to the reviewers, you always make my day. enjoy and review.
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-Chapter 4: Two Lives, Two Worlds, One Girl-
When Emma awoke, she found herself no longer in the tower chamber. She was back down in the bed chamber below, the one with the beautiful tapestry. She sat up in the bed, smiling to herself. Regina must have carried her down the stairs after she'd been unable to wake her. Had she been freaked out? Had she been relieved? Emma couldn't say and the dark haired Queen was not on hand to question. She ran a hand through her blonde locks and looked around the room. The dust had been wiped down from most of the surfaces, the armoire's door had been repaired. It almost looked as if it were a proper bed chamber once more. She tossed the blankets off her legs and found that she was still fully dressed, save her riding jacket, which was draped over the back of the small couch, and her riding boots, which were waiting on the ground near the foot of the bed. But where was Regina?
She got up and threw on her boots, lacing them as fast as she could. She left her riding jacket and raced down the hall until she exited the west wing and found herself at the top of the central staircase. She took the steps down in leaps and found her way back to the entrance, barreling out into the courtyard. Her stomach dropped as she saw the wench for the portcullis, Freedom no longer tied there. Of course Regina would have stolen the horse. Why should she even be surprised? Were her mayor counterpart here, she would have left her in the tower room. So why hadn't the Evil Queen? Why had she taken such deliberate care in bringing Emma down the stairs and tiding up the room? It didn't make sense.
Emma heard hoof beats and the neighing of a horse. She ran out through the stone archway to the vast land beyond and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. Regina was on Freedom's back, no saddle, jumping him over some half broken down fence jumps off to the east of the stable. She had her long dark hair pulled back in a braid and was wearing complete riding gear. She looked like a professional, a true equestrian.
As she cleared the last jump, Emma smiled and clapped.
As if hearing her, even from that distance, Regina looked up, a smile lighting up her face. She pressed her heels into Freedom's side and he galloped forward. Emma started down the hill from the stronghold to meet them halfway.
"You ride beautifully." Emma smiled as they met at the bottom of the hill.
"It's my favourite thing to do; I've had a lot of practice." Regina dismounted with an easy grace. "I'm sorry for taking your horse. He's a fine specimen; I just couldn't resist a ride."
"I'm surprised Freedom let you. No one but me has been able to tame him before."
Regina smiled, petting his nose fondly. "He must like me."
Emma stepped up to his side and stroked his back. "He has good taste."
Regina smiled. She motioned back towards the stronghold. "Come. We should get a meal into you, and we have much to discuss."
Emma wasn't surprised when Regina grabbed the reins with her left hand to lead Freedom back up to the courtyard, but it did shock her when the dark woman offered up her other hand. Emma reached out and slid her hand into Regina's, feeling a fluttering in the pit of her stomach that she wasn't sure she'd ever felt before.
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Neither of the women could figure out who had stocked the pantry and kitchens, but behind the dust covered cupboard doors there was plenty of food. Neither Emma nor Regina were much worried if someone did return. She was the Queen after all, and if they did return with malicious intent even towards their governing ruler, the stronghold's position at the top of the hill would allow the women adequate time to prepare. So, after they'd finished a small but adequate morning meal, Regina led Emma back up the stairs and then up yet another flight to the third floor, a place Emma hadn't yet got the chance to explore.
Everything up here seemed much as it had on the first two floors, broken and in disarray. Regina led her to the east wing and to a large door. She opened it and inside was a library that nearly rivaled the one at the palace. It was grand, with books lining every free space of wall. It stretched up two stories. Unlike the other rooms, this one's furniture had been draped in white sheets to keep them preserved. Regina set about uncovering them.
"You know your way around this place." Emma studied Regina as she pulled the last sheet away, revealing a grand piano.
Regina smiled. "This was my childhood home before…" A shadow crossed her face briefly and then left. "Before I became a Queen."
Emma traversed the perimeter of the room, her hands traveling along the spines of age old books, some of which she'd read, many she'd never even heard of.
"How old are you Emma?" Regina sat on one of the uncovered couches, her eyes following Emma as she made her round of the room.
"I'll be twenty eight within a moon's turn." The blonde glanced over her shoulder at the brunette.
"Twenty eight years." Regina sounded breathless. It was real now, all the time that had passed without her. The world would be different, just as her childhood home was different, broken and old. And yet, she had remained the same, frozen all these years as she once was.
Emma immediately crossed the room and sat next to the brunette on the couch. "I'm sorry. I would have searched for you sooner, but I was only made aware of your existence recently."
Regina nodded with an almost sad acceptance. "All that I was, all the power I traded my soul to acquire, and still, as with all things, time was my undoing. Even after everything, they don't remember. My castle?"
Emma frowned. "Left to Rumpelstiltskin as payment, for what, I do not know."
Regina nodded. "It's probably him I have to thank for all this, him and no doubt… your mother." Regina's gaze flickered to the blonde's face. "How…what… I mean, you're Queen…"
"She's dead." Emma tried to stand but Regina's hand wrapped around her forearm and pulled her back down.
"Tell me." The brunette's thumb caressed her arm, urging her on.
Emma sighed. She hadn't talked about this in over a decade. "I was ten when the war started. My mother never talked that much about how she knew Rumpelstiltskin, but she always talked about how deceptive he could be, muttering about how you should always read the fine print on his contracts. I still don't know what happened, not entirely, but a year into the war, there was a big battle, The Battle at Fallen Tree. They said it was a gorgon." Emma blinked away tears. "They brought back the s…s…stone figure. It's in an enclosed garden at the palace. Only my father and I have a key."
Regina wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. She couldn't really bring herself to feel sad for Snow White; she still felt her betrayal as deeply as she had three decades ago, but she could feel for Emma's loss. She was surprised to find she could feel a great deal of things for the blonde's sake.
Emma was touched by the silent reassurance of the woman's presence. "My father crumbled and locked himself away. He kept the title of King until I reached my sixteenth name day, then he sent out a letter of official abdication to all the noble families. I became Queen. It wasn't a popular decision. I've never been as well loved as my mother once was, or as charming as my father. Prickly is what my nursemaids used to call me, willful, bold, brash. So, I made a King out of a Prince from a land across the sea."
"Does he make you happy?" Regina almost sounded fearful of the answer.
Emma shook her head. "No. But maybe that isn't what marriage is about."
"It sounds as if you let your people lead you instead of the other way around. You shouldn't let society dictate what's appropriate for you Emma. Their opinions aren't always of merit, believe me."
"I did what was best for my people."
"What about doing what's best for you? You need to learn to follow your heart."
"Why do you think I'm here?" Emma turned to Regina.
Regina's hand dropped from around Emma's shoulder and she stared at the blonde, looking for a lie in her implication. "You don't know anything about me. I could be leading you into a trap, making you vulnerable just to take advantage of you."
Emma shook her head. "No, you won't."
"How can you be so sure? I was evil once Emma, there are many things in my life I wish I'd never done, paths I've walked where I've left trails of destruction in my wake. I am not safe."
Emma took a deep breath. "There was a prophecy. And a child, a daughter of pure love, will be born unto this world, and with her will come a great divide. It told of a child who would split the world. When the child was born, the souls of everyone would split, the 'good' side and the 'bad' side. In one world, one side would remain while in another world the other would be exiled. I am believed to be that child, and believe me, I've already met your less than nice half."
"She didn't destroy you?"
Emma smirked. "Oh, I'd be long gone if she were capable of it. But, luckily, she's in the other world, and magic doesn't exist there."
Regina nodded, soaking in the information. "So, how were you split? Am I sitting here with your better or your lesser half?"
Emma bit her lip sadly. "You get both halves. It was also part of the prophecy that the baby would stay complete, and would be cursed into a dual existence until her twenty eighth name day, at which time, she must pick a side and decide the fate of both worlds."
Regina looked intrigued. "You can go between both worlds?"
Emma nodded. "I'm forced to. I live a day here and then, when I fall asleep, or sometimes, like last night, when that world calls for me, I wake up and relive the day there. Two lives, two worlds, one girl."
Regina frowned. "That must be a heavy burden." She ran a hand through Emma's hair in a soothing gesture.
Emma turned amazed eyes on her. Without thinking about it, she threw her arms around Regina's neck, hugging her fiercely. "Thank you."
"For what?" Regina rubbed circles on her back.
Emma finally let hot tears fall from her eyes. "For caring."
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It was nearly three hours later when she came back from the village. She had gone to get supplies, but after the stronghold had been abandoned decades ago, the villages around it had failed to prosper. The closest village was Tarry, a town about an hour's ride away. Emma hadn't wanted to leave but they couldn't survive on what remained. There was only so many meals of dried salt pork one could stomach.
When she entered the main hall she heard it, the soft sound of music floating down from upstairs. She pulled off her riding jacket and headed up for the third floor. When she pushed into the library, she was met with a beautiful song. Regina was sitting at the piano, her hands floating across the keys. Emma walked into the room, pulled by the music.
Regina looked up, a smile lifting across her face. Her hands didn't falter as she played the rest of the chords.
Emma slid down next to her on the bench, watching her hands as they flowed like water across the keys, having a grace Emma had never seen, growing up around men and hard working women. Because of the prophecy, she'd never had to mingle at court or attend balls. There was always some excuse for her absence in the beginning and finally, everyone just stopped asking after her. As a child, it had been confusing. Growing up in one world, being hidden away from the eyes of the public, forced into a kind of solitary confinement. It had been a lonely existence. And in the other world, being without them, able to sneak away when she wanted, to connect with people her age and yet she'd find herself confused as to why mommy and daddy couldn't be in both worlds like she was. She had never been able to decide which one was worse, which world she hated more. It was always an unspoken agreement that she'd choose the Enchanted Forest when the time came. There were seven billion people to search through in that world to find the other halves of everyone here. She never thought it would happen. So, she'd always known she'd choose the Enchanted Forest. But now… now there was Storybrooke to consider. And Henry. And Mary Margaret. If you would have asked her yesterday which she'd choose, she would have said Storybrooke. It's where her son and her mother were, and Regina, but her cold half. But now, as Emma watched her fingers dance across the keys, as she watched the contented smiles and the way her eyes sparkled, she realized she wanted that in her life, quite possibly more than she'd ever wanted anything before. She wanted this Regina.
"Do you play?"
Emma shook her head. "No, I never really had the patience for it."
"Come here." Regina patted her lap.
Emma slid into it and Regina wrapped her arms around her and placed her hands over Emma's. She began to play with both their hands, starting the melody she had just been playing from the beginning.
"You have to feel the music, let it guide you, tell you when you're playing it wrong."
Regina took her through half the song and then slowly, she pulled her hands back. Emma closed her eyes and just let her hands work of their own accord. The melody they played wasn't spot on but it was better than she'd ever achieved during any of the lessons she'd taken with Daniela as a child. Maybe it was the heat of Regina's body pressed against her back, maybe the feel of the brunette's arms looped loosely around her waist, or maybe it was the chin resting on her right shoulder, but she felt more inspired in that moment than she ever had in her life.
"Regina." She stopped playing abruptly.
"Hmm?"
Emma turned in her embrace, moving around and sitting backwards in her lap so they were face to face. Regina was studying her, but she didn't mind the scrutiny.
"Would you find it agreeable if I were to kiss you?"
Slowly, Regina nodded.
Emma had never done this before, not with a woman, and not with someone she… loved. The realization that this was far more than attraction hit her like a wave, yet as it broke around her, she remained unscathed. A part of her felt as if she'd been waiting for Regina her whole life, and maybe a part of her had. Cautiously, she leaned forward until her lips met the dark woman's.
Fire coursed through her body, erupting through the fabric of every nerve. Her entire existence ignited. This was her purpose, why she existed. It was to love this woman. It was her destiny. She pulled away, utterly breathless. "I feel it." She couldn't hold back the tear that broke free from her eye and made its steep descent down her cheek.
Regina, who looked completely shaken to her very core, still managed to look at her curiously. "Feel what?"
Emma cupped Regina's face in her hands. "I finally feel awake." She leaned in and captured the brunette's lips once more.
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It wouldn't be long now. She'd never stayed up past midnight before. The prophecy and the curse it had put on her made sure of that. But as she saw the moon reaching its high arch through the sky, it crossed her mind that maybe that had been her cure. Maybe true love's kiss had once again broken another curse. It was possible, she supposed. She looked down at the woman lying next to her. They'd spent hours just getting lost in the feel of each other's mouths. Nothing more had happened, and surprisingly, she was glad. There'd be time to explore every inch of Regina later. She wanted to get well acquainted with every single piece of her, and that required patience. So, for now, she was content with kissing. She wasn't quite sure she'd ever get used to the rush that exploded through her system every time their lips met, and she was okay with that, because, here, with Regina, she finally felt whole. She looked back to the window and the path of the moon. It had begun its descent towards morning. So maybe the kiss really had….And Queen Emma fell asleep.