Greetings Mortals! The aca-king Alex is back! Guys, I think there was a slight miscommunication on the last chapter. When I say something, I genuinely mean it. I honestly don't know if this is good or not, and reviews are the only way I know I'm doing something worth while. I don't reread any of my own stuff, because I genuinely hate my writing, and when I do reread my shit, I just get irked and depressed and delete the whole thing. So yeah, on that note though, thank you all so much! Never feel obligated to review, just know that each one makes my day and gives me motivation to continue. Many of you also gave me some good constructive criticism, and thank you very much for that! I'm trying to be a good writer, and criticism, so long as you're not an ass about it, is always welcome.
And this is really long now, so I'm done. I own nothing, blah, blah, blah, who actually gives a fuck?
Aubrey sighed, and did her best to not fall asleep listening to Chloe drone on and on about her lack of progress and current emotional state. Doing her best ton hide her annoyance, Aubrey most certainly regretted talking to Chloe last night. Now, apparently because of some stupid little off hand comment she had made, they were going into this long, drawn out discussion on what Aubrey's mental state was. For the love of God, this really wasn't necessary! She wasn't a perfectionist because of her fucking father! She wasn't! Was it such a crime to want to do well in her endeavors?
"No, but the problem arises when the need to do well overshadows the actual endeavor." Chloe said.
Aubrey blushed. Shit, did she actually say that out loud? Damn, she must be more tired then she had originally thought. Fucking Beca had taken up blasting her music in the middle of the night, so now Aubrey was getting even less sleep. How the fuck are you suppose to sleep when some mindless talentless drivel is being blasted into your eardrums? That, and then the added stress from trying to whip the girls into sleep was finally getting to Aubrey. Fuck, this fucking sucked so hard.
"Aubrey?" Chloe asked, "Are you alright?"
"Pardon?" Aubrey asked.
"Are you alright?" Chloe repeated, "You haven't really said anything yet."
"My apologies," Aubrey said, doing her best to look even mildly interested, "Could you repeat what you just said?"
"Nope!" Chloe smiled, "Why don't you tell me what's got you a gazillion miles away?"
"I'm not sure I completely understand what you mean," Aubrey said, "I assure you that I am completely present and-"
"Bullshit," Chloe smirked, "Usually, you have this slightly bored look in your eyes, like you really don't want to be here. The fact that you haven't called me out on using a profane word right now proves this. You usually are present enough to completely comprehend what I say. Now though, your eyes have this glazed over look, like your seeing something that's not there, or like you're trying to expunge the secrets of the universe. So pray, tell me what's going on in your head right now?"
"I'm sorry, but not much at the moment," Aubrey said as apologetically as she could, "I'm just a little tired. My sincerest apologies-"
"Why do you keep apologizing?" Chloe asked suddenly, "You don't have to apologize for anything."
"I was apologizing for my lack of involvement in this session," Aubrey said, confused, "Is such not a transgression considerable enough to warrant a-"
"Oh my gosh, fancy-shmancy talk is making my head hurt!" Chloe laughed, "My psyche books were easier to read then you! Chill out Aubrey. You don't need to act so proper in these session."
"Why would you read me?" Aubrey smirked, trying to throw off the topic of the current conversation.
"Because that's my job, ah duh!" Chloe said happily, "and I totes see what your trying to do. So not happening Bree. So now tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours. You don't have the crazy IQ you have and not think of something!"
"I apologize, but I am not thinking of much at the moment," Aubrey said.
"So you are thinking of SOMETHING though." Chloe said.
"I suppose, but nothing of importance." Aubrey however, seeing the look Chloe was giving her, she quickly amended her statement, "Or rather, nothing that would make for a good conversation."
"Try me," Chloe said simply, "Just think out loud!"
"Think out loud?" Aubrey asked, unsure of what to do.
"Yeah!" Chloe said happily, "Just say what your thinking, or whatever."
"Very well..." Aubrey said slowly, "I was thinking about my latest book I was reading."
"Alight," Chloe said encouragingly, "What is the book, and what's it about?"
"Its actually a textbook," Aubrey admitted, "And its on current business practices. I was simply mentally comparing the new material with what I had learned back in college."
"Okay," Chloe nodded, "So what's new?"
"I apologize Chloe, but I do not see the-" Aubrey began.
"Shush!" Chloe said, "We either talk boring business or we talk feelings. Your pick."
"Very well," Aubrey sighed. Sometimes Chloe was rather irksome. Did she not know it was impolite to shush someone? "Its just little things really. Business is much more of a science then many would think it to be, and while there are some improvements made, for the most part, the way one runs the business stays the same, unless some government law changes how something was originally done."
"Okay..." Chloe said, obviously doing her best to keep up, "So what's running a business like?"
"Pardon me-" Aubrey began
"But you don't understand what this has to do with you?" Chloe finished happily, "Too bad, just deal with it and do as I say."
Shaking her head, Aubrey simply continued, despite not know exactly what she was doing. With Chloe, argument is near impossible. And sometimes just going with the flow was easiest. Not exactly something Aubrey was fond of doing, but at the moment she didn't have much of a choice.
"Each component of a business must be done right, or else the entire structure will collapse." Aubrey said, "One can have the best management team in the world, but should the marketing team fail, then there is no point of the management. However, if the management team really was good, there would be no failures in the marketing. However, I digress. A business is there to sell a product, no matter what it is. It takes so many different people to just get a product to a consumer, but then, it also takes even more people to promote said consumer."
"Aright," Chloe said, "But what about small businesses and all?"
"Its the same principle, only scaled back much further." Aubrey explained, a small smile creeping onto her face, "When I was an intern with my father, I was tasked with managing the small business department for a couple months. It really is quite fascinating sometimes. Obviously, Posen enterprises is a massive corporation, however, there's something simple about small business. There's something easy and laid back, in comparison to the mess that is big business."
Chloe smiled, "See the point of this exercise now?"
Aubrey rolled her eyes, but said nothing. Instead, she opted to look out the window in Chloe's office, overlooking the pond. She knew the point of said exercise, however she was most certainly no more inclined to speak of anything more pressing then rehearsals or something of that sort right now. Really, she dd not want to talk about any deep dark secrets right now, or any possible subconscious trauma that she might have. Really, she couldn't think of any major incident that could classify as a trigger or traumatic incident. Both her parents and all of her grandparents were still alive and sure her father wasn't the nicest guy, but his behavior was consistent...
"That's fine, lets talk about rehearsals then!" Chloe smiled as Aubrey blushed furiously. Did she really say that out loud? Again? Shit, this was becoming a problem. Really, she should work on that more.
"Right," Aubrey said, quickly trying to gather her thoughts, "Well, I suppose at the moment, as I said earlier, I am slightly disappointed with our current progress, or I suppose lack there of. I had expected a slightly... better group of girls to work with, and I had severely misjudged the amount of work and practices that these girls actually need."
"Alright," Chloe urged, "Go on."
"Originally, I had only assumed that we would have one or two major things that we would have to work on, however, as it would seem right now, every aspect of this, except for the actual singing right now is a major issue that we need to work on." Aubrey said, thinking about their disastrous first practice, "I sorely misjudged the physical ability of the girls also."
"So what are you going to do then?" Chloe asked.
"I'm currently working on reevaluating the plan." Aubrey said, a far away look slowly creeping on to her face, "I think that I have to block cardio to exactly one hour, no matter what progress, or lack of progress there is. With so many issues, I need to go completely on a time based schedule rather then a quantity or quality based schedule. Each part of the practice will need to be blocked out accordingly, and then at the end of the practice, I can add time to the areas that the group has the most trouble on, and take time off from the things that the girls are doing well in. Also, I believe that the assignment of roles in the group will soon be necessary. I was-"
"Aubrey?" Chloe asked, breaking Aubrey out of her daze.
"Yes?" Aubrey asked, confused.
"What about, you know, down time or fun?" Chloe asked.
"Breaks will be scheduled and used accordingly." Aubrey said, "I am aware that the girls will need some time to regroup and that it is unrealistic to expect the girls to preform at their highest-"
"No Aubrey," Chloe said sadly, "Not scheduled breaks, but just fun time. With your schedule, where is there time for spontaneity or just goofiness? Where is there time for the girls to just relax?"
"Chloe, we have a rapidly approaching dead line," Aubrey said seriously, "We really do not have time for such luxuries. Also, The lack of discipline with these girls is already appealing. I sincerely doubt that they really need-"
"But see, that's where you're wrong," Chloe said, "True those girls may not have a military bearing or have the best social poise, but each one of them is special in their own way. Not in the whole 'everyone's special but not really' way either, but the actual special, unique, one of a kind way. They're all extraordinary, and if you took the time to actually get to know them, you'd see that."
"While I can appreciate the sentiment, like I said, I really do not have the time," Aubrey said, completely unfazed by Chloe's little speech, "We are on a time crunch, and I want all of these girls to be ready."
"At what cost though?" Chloe asked, "Humans have an actual need for fun. Have you ever observed chimps? They have to fight to survive, and yet thay still play, they still have fun."
"People are not chimpanzees," Aubrey scoffed, "Fun is unnecessary. There is far more satisfaction in a job well done then having fun."
"Is there though?" Chloe challenged, "When was the last time you just had fun Aubrey?"
"Pardon me?" Aubrey asked, surprised.
"You heard me," Chloe smirked, "When was the last time you did something you liked to do?"
"Yesterday," Aubrey said automatically, "I enjoyed leading the girls through-"
"No, no no," Chloe sighed, "When was the last time you did something for YOU! Like draw, or sing, or anything like that?"
"I sang yesterday also," Aubrey said, "I really don't-"
"EVERYONE sang yesterday," Chloe said, "What about YOU though? When was the last time you did something without a deadline, a goal, or some form of ulterior motive? When was the last time you did something for you?"
"Chloe, I really do not see the importance-" Aubrey began.
"Just stop trying so hard, and just let it be!" Chloe said, her patience wearing thin, "Aubrey, I know your father drilled these ridiculous values into your head, but-"
"How dare you," Aubrey growled, "What right do you have to insult my father or my beliefs? He may not have been the best father, but I think he did a damn good job. Before this whole debacle, I was on top of the world and highly successful! All thank to those ridiculous values as you say. Is hard work and the belief that we should all strive to be our best such a bad thing? Oh, I forgot-"
"Aubrey, stop!" Chloe growled, "No, the principles that your father believed in were not wrong per say. However, the way he made you act, the things he made you do were. Excellence is not a bad thing to strive for, however, it is when you forget who you are and only focus on the end goal! Hard work is admirable, until you push yourself to the point of exhaustion every single day! Aubrey, a virtue is the median between two vices. Hard work is good when you know your limits. Excellence is great, so long as you understand that excellence is not perfection!"
For a second, Aubrey was very tempted to continue fighting, to continue to defend her farther But really, what was the point? Everything Chloe just said was true, no matter how much Aubrey wished it not to be. Mediation was important, and such was certainly very difficult for Aubrey. She was raised in a rather extreme household, and as a result, Aubrey was a bit on the extreme side. Grey was only a color, a rather sensible one, but that was not the point. As her father once told her, life is about absolutes. They so called grey area that people talk about is only indecision. Posens are decisive and should think in a manner that shows such. However true or untrue this might have been, Aubrey was slowly learning that perhaps a grey area was not indecision, but perhaps perfection. Chloe was, as loathe Aubrey was to admit it, right. Virtues are really the middle of two extremes.
With a sigh, Aubrey turned her attention back to Chloe. Aubrey wasn't sure how much time had passed since Chloe shouted at her, however, in that time, Chloe didn't say anything, but instead had allowed Aubrey to process everything on her own. Occasionally Chloe would write something down, but otherwise, Aubrey was left to her thoughts. Now, the polite and expected thing to do would be to share such thoughts.
"You're right." Aubrey said quietly, "I'm very sorry for my recent behavior. I was out of line and all you were trying to do was-"
"Aubrey, really, there is no need to apologize to me." Chloe smiled, "I definitely could have gone about that a bit differently and better. However, on that note, of course I'm right. Ah duh! Now tell me why I'm right."
Aubrey smiled. Chloe was unorthodox yes. She was a bit ditzy sometimes and acted like an excited puppy all the time, but it was at times like this that Aubrey could definitely see why she was one of the top psychiatrists in the country.
"You are right, because your definition of virtue is correct," Aubrey said, "I can admit that I have issues with not going to the extremes, and I do believe that if i would be able to find a way to remedy this, I will find that many of my current issues would be resolved."
"Yeah, let's go with that," Chloe smiled, "So that's all the time I have for this session. We good?"
"Yes," Aubrey smiled, "Thank you very much Chloe."
"Not a problem," Chloe said, standing up, "So..."
"Same time, same place tomorrow," Aubrey smiled, finishing Chloe's sentence, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Awesome!" Chloe sad when the two got to the door, "Oh, and Aubrey one more thing."
"Yes?" Aubrey asked.
"Your sister is going to visit in two days."
"WHAT?!" Aubrey shrieked.
Beca sighed. Aubrey Posen was now definitely a conundrum. Most days, Beca wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss or strangle the uptight blonde, and really, it was completely throwing her out of whack. It also made interactions with said blonde rather interesting. Part of her (sickeningly) wanted to profess her undying love and to ask Aubrey out. Note that this was an extremely small part of her though. Another part of her balked at the idea of even kind of liking her, and that part made Beca want to act like some seven year old boy and make Aubrey's life difficult. unfortunately, another part of her wanted to just have the blonde like her, which sucked, because you can't make a person's life miserable and expect them to like you, right?
"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Beca groaned as she rolled over on her bed.
Feelings sucked. Aubrey sucked. Every fucking thing fucking sucked right now. See? People wanted to know why Beca hated feelings? BAM! Right there, that's why. They made absolutely no sense, and they confused her. Does she really need any more of a reason to hate shit like that? Sure Beca was all for the whole spontaneous and wild child sort of thing, but feelings? Just no. Even the most spontaneous person has at least some sort of reason, some small kernel of logic embedded inside their skulls. Feelings just fucked with everything.
With a sigh, Beca got up. In about five minutes, Lara would bound through the doors and escort Beca to Chloe's office. She really, really didn't feel like talking to said ginger right now. Chloe could read Beca like a book, and right now, Beca knew that the SECOND she walked into Chloe's office, Chloe would call her on her whit. Just fucking great. This was the absolute LAST thing Beca wanted right now.
Looking at the clock, Beca smirked. At east she'd have something to amuse her right now.
"Three, two, one," Beca said aloud.
Literally the second Beca said one, there came a knock on her door. Laughing to herself, Beca got up and opened the door. There, as always, was Lara, big dopey grin on her face, ready to take Beca to her (stupid) private session with Chloe.
"Ready to go Beca?" Lara chirped.
"Yup," Beca said, sliding out, "Let's go Lara."
Lara happily lead Beca to Chloe's office, prattling away about whatever it was that went on in the strange world of Nurse Lara. Once upon a time Beca found her incessant chatter and creepy smiles unsettling and annoying, but now, honestly, she couldn't care less about it. Lara was good background noise, something there, but very easy to tune out. Lost in her own thoughts, Beca almost ran straight into Chloe's door.
"Whoopsie!" Lara laughed, "You need to watch where you're going Beca! Don't wanna run into the door. Here, let me-"
Without waiting for Lara to finish, Beca just opened the door and shut it in the girl's face. Really, Beca knew she should feel bad about that, but for the life of her, she couldn't care less. Lara was like some hyper active puppy or some other shitty animal analogy. Would you feel bad about shutting a door in front of a dog? Maybe, but you'd get over it pretty quickly.
Shaking her head, Beca walked into the room, taking note of the fact Chloe seemed... off today. Usually, the second Beca walked into the room, Chloe would smile and half shout, half greet Beca with a big' BECA! You're HERE!' Considering that Chloe hadn't done that yet, Beca would put money on the fact that whoever was just in with Chloe really threw her off. But really, Beca wasn't in the mood to care too much right now. Hopefully Chloe would be so flustered or distracted today that she wouldn't call Beca out on the mini crisis she was having right now. Taking her usual seat in Chloe's office Beca threw her feet up on the end table and waited for Chloe to finish up whatever it was she was doing at her desk.
"Hey Beca!" Chloe said brightly after she finished writing, "I'm sorry I was so busy when you came in. I'd tell you what it was about and all, but you know, patient confidentiality and shit. Oh well, you don't really care anyway. I actually doubt that you're even listening to me right now. You're probably too caught up in whatever mini crisis you're having right now to even acknowledge I'm speaking."
"Wait, what?" Beca asked, lifting her head up, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
"If course you weren't!" Chloe laughed, "So what's going on in the land of Middle Earth? What's the cause of your stress, huh?"
"You know, just because I hate movies doesn't mean I don't know what Middle Earth is," Beca grumbled, "Is that you indirectly calling me a hobbit ginger? And before you say it, The Lord of the Rings was a book long before it was a shitty movie."
"Oh my gosh, you so didn't go there!" Chloe gasped, "The movies were amazing! How could you!"
"I believe I did just go there," Beca smirked, "Whatcha gonna do about THAT Beale? Huh?
"You know what, I'm done with you," Chloe huffed, "Just spill now Mitchell before I get upset and kick you out of my kitchen."
"We're not in a Kitchen though," Beca laughed, "So you see, that threat actually has no-"
"Actually is verbal garbage!" Chloe said proudly, "Aubrey told me that, and as usual, she's right."
"Whatever," Beca said, ignoring the fluttering feeling she got whenever she even heard the blonde's name, "Actually, I don't give a fuck that actually is verbal garbage. Kay?"
"Nope" Chloe smiled, "And I totally just saw that Becs, now spill. What's going on in the Shire?"
"You know what!" Beca growled, "If your going to be that way, I'm not talking to you."
"A, this is court ordered psychiatric help," Chloe smirked, "So you actually have to talk to me. B, pleeeeeaaaaaaseee tell meeeeeeeeeee? Entertain little old me wth tales of your infinitely more interesting love life."
"What love life?" Beca grumbled, "Aubrey's leaving soon, so what's the fucking point?"
"Wait, what?" Chloe asked, confused, "Aubrey's not going anywhere anytime soon. Not at least that I was made aware of, and considering she needs my okay for her card out of here, I don't think she's going anywhere."
"WHAT?" Beca shrieked.
"Wait, where the hell did you even get that idea from?" Chloe asked.
"Aubrey told me!" Beca snapped, "She said she would be clear to go in like two months!"
"No, that's when her first parole eval is up," Chloe explained, realization finally dawning on her, "I can't say much, but just because its her first eval, doesn't mean that she's getting out."
"Oh..." Beca said, letting herself process this new information, "So then Aubrey's no leaving soon?"
"Maybe, maybe not," Chloe coughed, "Come on Beca, you know I'm really not allowed to tell you this stuff! Patient confidentiality and all. I'd really rather avoid getting into trouble because I told you something I shouldn't, ya know?"
"Please Chloe?" Beca begged, using her best puppy dog face, something she only used in emergencies, "We could be talking about my future wife here! I need to know if this is worth it! Also, come on, isn't like matchmaking you're thing?"
"Dammit Beca!" Chloe huffed, "I can't- you know that- UGH! I hate you sometimes."
"No you don't," Beca tried, using her very best award winning smile, "You know you love me. Plus, you know I'm your favorite patient!"
"Nope, this is like a complete breach of shrink law!" Chloe sighed, "I can't no matter how much I want to. DON'T Go there Mitchell either. Let's just talk about you now. How are YOU Beca, not Aubrey. YOU!"
With a sigh, Beca slumped in her seat and projected her usual outwards attitude and appearance of a bitchy, angsty, emotionless dick. However, on the inside, Beca's heart was soaring. Aubrey wasn't leaving? WHAT? FUCK YES! So Beca wasn't a complete idiot! She still had a chance with the uptight blondzilla who Beca wasn't ashamed to admit some how managed to capture her heart. Best. News. Ever. As loathe as Beca was to admit it, something about the blonde made Beca just feel... normal, like she really wasn't the angry, psychotic freak that her step monster called her. Something about Aubrey made Beca feel like maybe she'd someday make it out of this hellhole and actually be able to do something in life. Though the rational, logical side of Beca knew that these were just idle disillusion, the dreamer, hopefully, somewhat sappy side of Beca hoped beyond all hope that perhaps this was true. With a small smile, Beca settle back down in her seat and let the session pass by.
The rest of the hour passed by as it usually did, Chloe prattling on, trying to get Beca to talk about herself, and Beca deflecting with her trademark mix of sarcasm, wit, and a bit of flirty comments. When the hour was up, Beca got up and turned to walk away. However, just as she reached the door, Chloe stopped her.
"Beca, wait!" Chloe called.
"Whatcha need Red?" Beca smirked, "Because if you want to fuck, we need to make this quick. I have lunch in five."
"As tempting as that is. no," Chloe laughed, "I just wanted to remind you to not give up. Everything will fall into place soon enough. You just wait and see."
For a second, Beca was tempted to just give a sarcastic remark, but something about Chloe's words stuck in her head. Opening and closing her mouth, probably looking like a complete imbecile, Beca shook her head. See? This is what feeling did to a person. Snapping her jaw shut, Beca just abruptly walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Walking down the halls, Beca tried to sort through her right now, exceedingly confusing feelings. Now that the whole glow from hearing that she had a chance with Aubrey was wearing off, the voices in Beca's head started to return. Inside her head, that hateful, spiteful voice in her head (which sounded a lot like her step monster) screamed in her brain, telling her that she was being ridiculous. After all, what in the world would a girl like Aubrey POSEN see in her? Aubrey literally was set for life. She had a powerful job waiting for her, the second she stepped out of Barden, and she was basically perfect in every conceivable way. What the hell would Aubrey Posen see in a failure like Beca? Beca was broken, a failure, and so fucking pathetic, it wasn't even funny anymore. She had no redeeming qualities and was deemed incorrigible and incurable by everyone but Chloe. Everyone left, and everyone would leave soon. What the hell was she even thinking having a stupid fucking school girl crush on Aubrey?
Closing her eyes, Beca willed these thought so go away. Taking a deep breath, Beca forced herself to think about something, anything really that wasn't what she was thinking about. Suddenly, a memory once long forgotten made its way into Beca's mind.
Beca was sitting on a cliff sipping a beer, processing the events of the say. Only a few hours ago she'd come out to her best friend Charlotte. That had gone... surprisingly well actually. Charlotte had only laughed, said that she knew it, told Beca not to hit on her, and then went back to eating lunch. Definitely not a reaction worth spending hours in her room alone trying to find the right words.
Laughing to herself, Beca took the last sip from the bottle before chucking the bottle as far as she could, watching the bottle hit the water below with a splash. Closing her eyes, Beca soaked up the last few rays of the setting sun. Today was a good day, a rare occurrence for Beca. Basking in the golden rays, Beca smiled, genuinely smiled for the first time in God knows how long. Life was actually alright for now. If Charlotte's reaction was anything to go by, being gay wasn't nearly as bad as Beca had originally thought it was. maybe coming out to her dad and step monster wouldn't be as bad as she thought it would.
For the first time in a long time, Beca actually felt at peace. She didn't feel like she had to put on a show for anyone. She didn't feel like anyone was watching her, judging her. She was alone, but not in the lonely way. She was able to relax, be herself, and not have to worry about whatever anyone else would say later. Staring out at the panorama before her Beca fet the urge to sing. Opening her mouth, Beca sang quietly to herself, letting the forest and its inhabitants be her audience.
Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching tear drops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There's nothing left of me?
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
At the end of the first chorus, beca was almost tempted to stop. Here she was, the Badass of Georgia singing to no one in the middle of no where. This was like a bad scene out of a movie. But hey, like she said, there was no one here. Who gave a fuck if she was a little cheesy right now? Settling herself back down, Beca began singing once more, this time louder, more confident.
As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
Go run, run, run
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear
Yeah, oh
Go run, run, run
Yeah, it's a long way down
But I am closer to the clouds up here
Maybe it was the setting, maybe it was because the lyrics really rang true with Beca, but as she sang the bridge, she felt the first pin pricks of tears in her eyes. Blinking rapidly, Beca willed the tears away and finished out the song, her voice returning to the volume it was when she first started.
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Oh Oh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
The last note was practically a whisper, but Beca could say that for once that she'd actually sang a whole song. Tears were making their way down her face, but Beca actually felt really good. She felt care free, almost as though she'd left all her trouble there on the lake, if only for the night. Enjoying the feeling, Beca closed her eyes and did her best to try and commit this to memory. Opening her eyes again, Beca sighed. Life was good right now.
Standing up, Beca was about to go back home before, by some unknown whim, Beca stopped. The sun was setting right now, and even is she left right now, she wouldn't get back until after dark. She'd been coming to these woods for as long as she could remember, so she was confident in her ability to navigate the forest at night. Sitting back down, Beca faced the now rapidly descending sun once more and relaxed. What was the harm in watching a sunset? Just because it was girly and chiche didn't mean that it wasn't any less spectacular, especially from her spot above the reflective lake.
Hot pink clouds mingled with golden rays of the sun and the occasional purpley cloud. The lake beneath her was completely still and was a perfect mirror of the heavens above. From where she was sitting, it was almost as though she was flying. Realy, the place looked like something out of an impressionist's painting. Smiling to herself, Beca watched as the bright, dark yellow orb that was the sun slowly sank beneath the tree line. Contrary to popular belief (and Hollywood), the sun doesn't actually just rapidly sink beneath the horizon and plunge the world into complete darkness. It's a slow process, and even when the sun completely sets, there still is some light left.
Beca sat on the cliff until the sun finally fell behind the tree line. Night was slowly approaching, and the last red and orange streaks in the sky were slowly but surely being replaced by the soft dark blue of twilight. Getting up, Beca paused one last time at the edge. Looking down at the water directly below her, Beca smiled at the final fading light of the day. Turning her back to the lake, Beca walked back into the woods and began the trek back to her house.
Tomorrow, she'd come out to her dad, but today. Today she was going to enjoy the feeling of peace.
So yeah, I know. Beca's memory was a bit fluffy. I'm trying here guys! As we all know, I'm an angst writer, but I'm trying to go utside my comfort zone a bit and make this a LITTLE bit less depressing. How am I doing :)
So on to you guys now! Damn, I love being able to say that.
makesmesmile98: Well aren't you just awesome? I didn't use ain't this time, though I was tempted to :D
Mereel Belladaire: Thank yoooou! I won't stop, I promise :)
pure-class princess: Alright, cool! Like i said, I'm no shrink, and I don't listen to mine, so thank you! And did I get that wrong? Oops... I'll fix that, soonish or maybe never. I dunno. I'm lazy XD
reading-is-my-love: my love is reviews. lol, I'm sorry, I had to. And I'm saving a Beca POV for an upcoming recap of a chapter. Shh! No spoilers though! I hope this will suffice for now though! And yeah, you're review made me feel a lot better.
Guest: Yes sir/ma'am. I'll see this out to it's bitter end.
cxcxcx386: Damn, got me there, don't you? *dramaitc sigh* Fiiiiiiiiiiine. I suppose i won't ditch this piece of shit XD You know, I think you put more thought into your reviews sometimes then I put into writing this. Aubrey's fucked up, though I like the way you put that! I'll use that later XD I lied Beca in that chapter too. She's the comedic relief when I can't use Fat Amy. I'm glad you liked that though. I was quite proud of myself with that little one. I laughed when i typed that. And your review isn't long enough! Type more and make my day :)
TheSandyToadfish: Thank you for you're review! Criticism is always helpful to me, and I hope I fixed some of that in this chap. As said earlier, I wasn't taking this fic hostage, at least not on purpose. I can see how many reviews I get per chapter, and I got significantly fewer (1) on the last chapter, which was a big drop from the usual 4-7 I get a have a few other fics I'm waiting to put out, and I figured if no one liked this anymore, i could put this on hold and write those instead. Thanks for the support though :)
Msweeny1997: BAM, done. You know, mortals keep saying things JUST as I'm about to do it. Its very annoying, lol. Naw, just kidding. I promise Aubrey's not going to stress vomit. Yet. DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUUUUH!
Becky: Really mate? So you have time to read this but not fix it? I see how this is XD Thanks mate!
Music and Reading Lover: Well thank you! I won't stop, because I caaaaaaaan't stop. Sorry. ah hem. No bad music here.