Kim pasted a smile on her face and walked into the door of her parents' home with Jeannie and Andrew.
"Kimmie," her father called as he walked towards her. "What brings you buy this fine evening?"
"I told Kayla I would try to bring the children over to play with Stephanie while she and Steve were gone," Kim replied as she removed the coat Jeannie was wearing. Kim had not managed to go shopping for new coats yet, so Jeannie had a hand-me-down from Stephanie that, like the coat from Eric that Andrew was wearing, had seen better days. Pulling the coat away, Kim set Jeannie down to toddle around.
"Would you look at that?" Shawn exclaimed. "Only walking a couple of weeks and she's already an expert."
Kim smiled at the fuss her father was making over Jeannie. For all of Shawn Brady's stubborn ways, which had caused difficulties for his children at times, he was a doting and loving grandfather.
"And how are you doing, young man?" Shawn asked, ruffling Andrew's hair.
"Good, Grandpa." Andrew's face broke out in a smile. "Guess what?"
"What?" Shawn asked, kneeling down to Andrew's eye level.
"Daddy's coming home tomorrow," Andrew said excitedly. "He won't be in the hospital no more."
"Any more," Kim corrected automatically.
"Is that right?" Shawn sounded as happy as Andrew. "Well that's great news."
"What's great news," Caroline asked, walking into the kitchen with Stephanie in her arms.
Shawn stood. "Shane's getting released from the hospital tomorrow. He'll finally be home with his family where he belongs. Isn't that right, Kimmie?"
Kim froze for a moment as her father's words echoed Shane's. We're going to be a family again. Then she smiled as sincerely as she could and nodded. "Sure, Papa. It will be good for Shane to be home again."
Ignoring her mother's questioning look, Kim stepped across the room to pick up a wandering Jeannie. "I better get these rascals settled in the playroom before they get in any trouble out here."
"No, no," Shawn said. "Let me do that. You stay here and keep your mother company. I don't get to spend enough time with my grandchildren as it is."
Kim watched as Shawn led the children to the playroom in the back of the house. Andrew was holding Stephanie's hand and Stephanie was holding Jeannie's hand as they followed their grandfather. Kim felt a lump in her throat as, for a moment, the picture was replaced by one of Roman leading Kim and Kayla in just the same way.
"Kind of amazing, isn't it?" Caroline said softly, placing her arm around Kim's shoulders. "Seems like just yesterday, that was you and your brother and sister following your father around like that."
Kim smiled and nodded. "I know. And now look at us. All grown up with kids of our own."
"Yes you are." Caroline took a seat at the kitchen table and pointed Kim to a chair. "But even though you're all grown up, I still worry about all of you."
"Well you don't have to worry about me, Mama," Kim replied, trying to sound convincing. "I'm doing just fine."
Caroline leaned across the table. "You might be able to fool your father, Kimmie, but you can't fool me quite so easily. Why aren't you as happy as you were pretending to be about Shane being released from the hospital?"
"I am happy about Shane being released," Kim protested. "He hates being in the hospital . . . and the children miss him desperately."
"And what about you?" Caroline asked, pointedly. "Do you miss him as well?"
"You know I do, Mama." More than anyone can imagine.
Caroline gave her daughter a sympathetic look. "I know you love him, but I also know that something is clearly bothering you."
Kim sighed softly. "Shane and I just have a lot of things to work through, Mama. He wants us to start over again, but I'm just not sure it's going to be as easy as Shane wants it to be. We've hurt each other so much."
"Oh, Kimmie. . . . I know I can't make up your mind for you, but I do know how Shane was the night you and Kayla went missing. Did you know he came over here to wait for you, because he wanted to tell you he was sorry for whatever had happened that day?"
Kim did not know that. Roman and Bo had told her that Shane had expressed regret, but she did not know that Shane had come to her parents house.
"And Papa let him through the door?" Kim asked.
Caroline chuckled. "I wasn't sure for a while if he would. . . . When he was here, Shane told me about England and what you'd offered to do, I mean, moving there with the children."
That was a surprise to Kim. It was hard to picture Shane revealing that to her parents.
"And I'm going to tell you what I told him," Caroline said.
Kim looked her mother, curious to hear what she would say.
"I told him I hated the idea of you not being in Salem, but I also wanted you to be happy," Caroline explained. "And then I told him that I don't think you were ever happier than when you fell in love with him, and despite all of your problems, I thought he could make you happy again."
Kim glanced down at the table and ran her index finger along a grain in the wood. "I wish it were that easy, Mama."
With a shrug, Caroline said, "Maybe it isn't, but maybe it is. I wish I had some crystal ball and could give you a guarantee, but this is something you and Shane have to figure out for yourselves."
Kim nodded. "I know, Mama." She chuckled humorlessly. "It's funny, really. Everybody else seems to be far more sure about Shane and me working things out than I do. Kay, Bo, Roman . . . they've all told me to just 'trust' Shane and our love."
"And you don't know if you can do that." It was a statement, not a question.
Kim nodded again. "I want to. But it's just so hard. As much as it hurts to be apart from him, I've learned to live with that pain. I'm not sure I could live with loving and losing him again."
Caroline reached across the table and took Kim's hand. "I can't tell you what to feel or what to do. But can you live with never knowing what might have been if you never take that chance?"
Kim did not answer her mother. She couldn't because she did not know the answer herself. It seemed like every time she and Shane took that leap of faith, something always happened to tear them apart. Would this time be any different?
As Caroline got up and began working in the kitchen, Kim realized that really was the ultimate question. Could she trust that she and Shane had learned from their mistakes in the past and that this time really would be different?
I don't know. I just don't know.