"Is everything okay?" Carly asked as she finished listening to Shane's breathing through her stethoscope.
"Fine," Shane lied. "So how's it sound? Marcus said I could go home in the morning if my lungs stayed clear."
Carly smiled. "If that's what he said then I don't see anything that will keep you here." She pulled the stethoscope out of her ears. "Everything looks clear. But Marcus will have the final say in the morning."
"Of course," Shane said, as Carly left to go check on her other patients. With a sigh, Shane turned on the TV and flipped aimlessly between channels for a little while. But his mind was whirring and he could not concentrate on anything on the screen, so he shut it off and tossed the remote aside.
He had spent the entire day reliving Kim's visit. The whole time he had reminded himself how he had tried to keep his distance from her to prevent her from ripping out his heart. And when he had finally relented, she had done just that. He was still struggling with the physical pain of being shot by Cal, but, right now, it was the emotional pain that threatened to overwhelm him.
Grimacing, Shane turned slightly so he could look out the window, only to realize it was dark outside. Tomorrow, he would go home, but it would not be the picture he had envisioned only a few hours earlier. He would wake up in bed alone. Kim would keep her distance. Andrew would ask awkward questions about their future as a family.
How will I answer them?
He knew part of the answer. Despite the pain of Kim's rejection, he was not willing to give up. He still wanted her, and he wanted their family. He just had to find a way to convince her that their love would overcome any obstacles.
In the meantime, he had to fight against his instincts. Earlier, in the face of the pain, he had tried to shut Kim out. Every fiber in his being was telling him to close off his heart and try to bury the pain deep inside.
You can't, he told himself. Shane closed his eyes, and remembered the talk he had with Eve. What had he told her? That his life was not complete without Kim.
That's the truth.
But how could he convince Kim that he understood that now, and that he would not give up on her? He knew he would keep fighting for her, but he just did not know what to do to make her believe that he would not push her away again. There had to be a way.
A knock on the door startled Shane out of his thoughts. Surprised that someone would knock at this late hour, he twisted carefully so he could see who was standing in the doorway.
"Bo. . . . What the devil are you doing here?"
Bo grinned. "Heya, Gov'ner. I was just in the neighborhood, seeing Carly, and thought I'd poke my head in."
"And it has nothing to do with her thinking I'm in a bit of funk?" Shane gave Bo a knowing look.
Confirmation came when Bo shrugged. "All right. You got me," he said. "Carly thought you could use someone to talk to and, with Roman not here, I figured I was the next best thing."
Shane shook his head. "Look, I appreciate you wanting to help, but there's really nothing you can do. This is something your sister and I have to work out for ourselves."
"Where have I heard that before?" Bo muttered. He grabbed the chair beside Shane's bed, flipped it around, and sat down so his arms rested on the back. "We leave things up to the two of you, and Andrew will be off to college before you work things out. Now tell me what's going on with you and Kimber."
"Look-"
"No, Gov'ner, I'm not going to be quiet or go away." Bo leaned over the chair. "So tell me what's going on?"
Shane knew Bo's stubborn streak well enough to know the man would not give up. "Fine . . . You want to know? Your blasted sister doesn't know if she wants to get back together with me."
"That's crazy," Bo said. "She loves you."
"Evidently, that's not enough." Shane could hear his own exasperation coming through, but he took a breath and forced himself to remain calm. "I guess I can't really blame her; it's not that much different than where I was a few weeks ago. It took nearly losing her to make me realize how foolish I was. When I think how close we came. . . ."
Bo looked away and Shane suddenly felt like a complete imbecile.
"I'm sorry," Shane said. "I didn't mean to-"
"To make me think of Hope?" Bo asked, an eyebrow raised. "Don't apologize. I told you weeks ago that you were being an ass for pushing Kim away, and it took me losing Hope to really figure that out. I'm just glad you didn't have to lose Kim."
Shane knew Bo was right, but that hardly mollified him. "Maybe, but it doesn't do much good now, does it? Not when she's the one now pushing me away."
"She'll come around," Bo said. He sounded a lot more certain than Shane felt.
"I hope you're right." Shane looked away to the darkened window. "I just wish I knew what to say to convince her."
Bo shrugged. "Aw c'mon. You're a master at knowing what to say. I mean, if you can't figure out how to convince her, what hope do us poor schlubs without the fancy education and accents have?" At Shane's look, he grinned. "C'mon, Gov'nor, I'm just teasing. Look, you and Kimber will work this out."
"I hope you're right," Shane repeated. "I just wish, for once, we could find ourselves going in the same direction. It seems like when she pulls, I push, and now it's the other way around." He gave a sick laugh. "Sometimes I swear Fate thinks our lives are its personal comedy."
"Now I've got no idea what that means," Bo said, with frown. "But you've got to hang in there. I mean it. You're down right now, but things will turn around. Kim loves you. It's just that I think. . . ." Bo's voice trailed off.
Shane turned back and sat up a little. "You think what?"
"I think she's scared," Bo said. He stood up, took a few steps away from the chair, and then turned around to face Shane. "I was there when she thought you'd died. You've got no idea how devastated she was. And then sitting there all day while you were in surgery. I think, deep down, that's got a lot to do with this."
Sitting back against his pillow, Shane let that sink in. He had never thought about what Kim had gone through after the shooting. He had thought about what might have happened with Cal, but he had not seen how that would be playing a role in Kim pushing him away. But what Bo was saying made some sense. In a way, maybe Kim was going through what Shane had gone through after he thought Emma had died. He had shut off his emotions so he would never have to experience the pain of losing someone he loved again.
So maybe that was the explanation - or part of it. Yet, Shane was no completely convinced. Kim had never pushed him away before when he was hurt. When he returned to Salem with amnesia and even after she had shot him, he never sensed that she tried to keep him distant to avoid the pain.
Still, perhaps Bo's idea could give him an opening - a starting point, as it were. Shane looked up, realizing that neither he nor Bo had said a word for a while. Bo gave him a knowing look before he headed for the door.
"Trust me, Gov'nor. Kimber will come around, and the two of you will work this out."