I am apologizing three times in this author's note.

I apologize for the one-month gap on a sort-of-subtle cliffhanger; I've had 75% of this chapter written for three weeks but I have art homework I've been procrastinating on so... :'D

I am sorry/not sorry for any astronomy references; I...am all kinds of geek, and vast space is included. Bye.

Anyway, thanks for reading as always, and I apologize for any weird-sounding metaphors. Since this is my first fanfic, this is sort of a dialogue-heavy warm up and I'm just trying out different descriptions and such. Again, critiques/reviews are always welcome.

Spring break starts on 4/11 for me so hopefully I can end this story sometime soon, as it only has a chapter or two left.

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Note: The Universe was, is, and always will be full of cop-outs. Too many things go both ways and everyone who knows this thinks it's weird.

Kagome, to say in the least, was shocked, caught off guard. As her heart began to flutter rapidly, her hand let go of his hair, and curling loosely into a fist and hovering just below her collarbone, over her chest, she realized she was faintly trembling. Whether it was from cold or something else entirely, perhaps even both, she could not discern. The brittle, cold sensation known as nervousness was only augmented by the chilly air settling into the room, with traces of warm frustration creeping up her neck. She still had no idea what was bothering him so persistently, and this was an answer? Yet another thing she didn't understand was why she was so nervous, why her fingers and cheeks were tingling and how she could feel so warm and cold at the same time. So she sat there, perplexed and frozen, unable to gather the cognition to react, even though she wanted to.

When Inuyasha pulled away from her, a short kiss that had only lasted a less than a fifth of a minute yet seemed to have lasted a small eternity on its own, he promptly turned away from her in his chair to avoid eye contact. His cheeks and ears, which were flat against his head, were nearly vermillion as he began to reconsider what he'd just done, immediately regretting the result of his impulsivity, which often worked well as one of the notable characteristics of his personality, such as during a battle. But this wasn't about bloodshed or not dying, it was mostly about himself and the girl he just liplocked, with extraneous emphasis on that last word. You can't just do that without warning- can you? He had no idea of knowing, he'd never actually initiated one! The verdict was clear, she doesn't like you now/anymore or perhaps more likely the get out of here what's wrong with you. In fact, before she could say anything like that which would emotionally dig his grave and burn any pride he had left in the closest metaphorical fire, he should probably leave as soon as possible.

Kagome was halfway detached from the reality of what had just happened, focused on the small vermillion leaf, illuminated by the moonlight cascading from the window. Only her hands still tingling, yet her face still flushed, she realized something. Maybe she had only been nervous because she hadn't understood at all? She already knew she loved him, and he maybeprobably did too, because they had shown it perhaps on more than a few occasions, not to mention what he did just now. And while they never needed to make it socially official, they had never actually...admitted it to each other, right? Maybe they didn't need to, yet there was still this unexplained hesitance between them when they became close, even with no one else around. He could have just said that instead of leaving her stunned like that.

Or perhaps he just did, in his own way.

After all, Inuyasha was never one for words. And she was better at using words. Oh.

Her thoughts were then interrupted by a rustling of movement. Inuyasha then barely muttered a single word, so nearly inaudible that Kagome would have missed it had he said it a moment earlier in the midst of her thoughts.

"Sorry." He began to move to get up from the chair he had been seating himself on, to be anywhere but here right now. Hells, he's such an idiot, making a fool of himself like th-

A hand grasped his, and unconsciously his arm stiffened and his fingers tingled. Oh, great. If it hadn't been for the lack of sufficient light in the room, Inuyasha may not have even dared to turn his head even slightly towards the opposing force.

In the corner of his eye- a placid, kind face. She could see the lingering apprehension in his.

"I'm not angry at you, Inuyasha. Come, have a seat." And he did, though the color of his cheeks and ears didn't change, and though his body was turned towards her, he didn't dare do the same with his face, looking down at the hands resting on his lap, which helped no better. She still hadn't let his hand out of her grasp.

She giggled, and Inuyasha's ears flicked in response at the sudden sound stimulant, clearly irritated. "What do you find so funny?" He didn't sound angry, but the words nearly came out like a low growl.

"It's just," Kagome smiled at him, slightly lowering her face accordingly so he could see it at the edge of his vision, "You look just like that little red leaf over there."

Inuyasha turned around briefly, catching a glimpse of the said leaf. Freshly carried away by a spoiled breeze that never had its fill of tearing leaves by the stems, its branching veins still pulsed with life. Its unhesitatingly vibrant shade of red made up for its humble size and uneven, jagged shape, which most resembled a star.

"Do you know what the red Doppler shift is?" She very lightly squeezed his hand, as if to get his attention from behind him. He couldn't quite remember, although he knew he had read something of it before. Wavestrengths or something? Wait, no, that's definitely not it.

"I don't think so…" He said this without turning back to face her, preferring his eyes the company of a leaf.

"In space, redshift happens when light or say some other electromagnetic radiation from an object that is moving away increases its wavelength. It also supports the fact that the universe is still expanding. Do you know what I'm getting at?" He remembered what she was talking about, however, he hadn't the slightest of idea what she meant by it, so he just stayed quiet and shook his head.

"In other words, that leaf was once just like the others, stemmed to the same branch of the same tree for months. Yet, instead of following the same path as the other leaves, laid out by that one wind, by coincidence it traveled wayward into my room, all alone. Or perhaps," She chose this moment to let go of his hand, the sudden lack of heat hissing at his fingertips, "it wanted to be farther away, not left to be consumed by the other leaves." A single canine ear swiveled towards the sound of her voice at that statement. Having regressed to not having any part of him physically face her at all again, he began to understand some of what she was saying. Whether subconsciously or not, he purposely pushed away others, didn't trust them, in order to avoid any negative infliction, such as betrayal or hatred. But he must be missing something. What was the opposite of the redshift?

Of all people, he probably trusted her the most. He really wanted to turn around again, to face her. But he couldn't bring himself to meet her blue eyes. Then he realized something, though it wasn't necessarily what Kagome was trying to insinuate.

"Are you saying...you're the blueshift?"

Kagome felt her cheeks become a little warm. While it was flattering to be recognized by him as such a metaphor, since she never really realized herself how people seemed to gravitate towards her. However, that wasn't what she had been trying to get at.

"Th-that's nice of you to say, but… no, not quite," she cleared her throat to continue, seeing as he had yet to catch her gist, "The red leaf was determined to travel a different wavelength than the other leaves, to lead a different fate. In other words, correct me if I'm wrong, not many half demons survive in the Feudal Era, right?"

"No, I wouldn't think so."

"I'm pretty sure it goes without asking that you wanted to survive then," she continued after he nodded, "You were determined to not be dealt the same fate, and you certainly weren't, whether it was by sheer luck or will. Or both, most likely. Just like that leaf didn't join the decomposing, browning pile at the roots of a tree." He finally understood what she was saying, but had difficulty agreeing with her.

"I would still be sealed to that tree if you hadn't time traveled and pulled that arrow."

She bit her lip and thought for a moment. "True, but...I still wasn't not there. What matters is that I was there, inadvertently breaking the seal fate had supposedly attempted to ensnare you with, and yet you also could have given up before, a long time ago. But the reality is that you can't change the fact that I was pulled down a mildew-crusted well by an unsightly braless insect demon because I wanted to find my cat, nor the fact that there was no way I wouldn't have wanted to dislodge a projectile protruding from your chest unless I actually desired death by being crushed. Either way, your life is now dramatically different because of things that happened that couldn't not happen."

He exhaled a breath of laughter, brief and quiet. Despite her bold stubborn shouts and occasional (though he'd rather say often) irritated exclamations, her words were at least eloquent when it mattered, a wedding cake of layered, unwavering passion, unlike himself. Something was still amiss, though, and it was a question so simplistic and harmless yet it tugged at his head, stomach, and heartstrings with an unbridled rapture as he said it, and it nearly stumbled with his breath and the clunky sound of his voice, a gentle yet masculine tone almost audibly quavering with uncertainty. He finally turned to face her for just those few scattered words, pieced together awkwardly and honestly with piercing eyes that stared in only her direction. They were often an Earthy amber, she observed, but they seemed almost a glaring yellow now, a steady intensity.

"Do you think fate exists?"

Out of all the things he could of said, she least expected this one. It seemed like an almost out of place question for someone like him to ask, and it was a question that twisted at the bottom of her gut, made her heart flutter like a cloud-dipped hummingbird. However, it wasn't as much as she lacked an idea of how to answer as much as it was that she didn't know what he meant by it. She had in fact contemplated such a question many times to herself before after that first fall down the well, after all, they were traveling all over the Feudal Era to change fate. Her words collected in a flurry behind her tongue, and when she spoke there was no hiding of the obvious twinkle in her eye as she spoke.

"Well, the thing is, I'm a cop-out. I do and I don't." Inuyasha only grew more perplexed by this statement as her mouth gave a slight smile.

"Fate did stop my life from being what one would say "normal," but all the same it's malleable and the choices we make are ours. Fate is a given. We must feel pain, we must die, and we can't change what has already happened. But, we can change what's going to happen before it does. We can choose who or what will bring us happiness or sadness, and we can do a lot before we die. I don't and probably never will know whether I'm right or not, but I believe that both must exist."

Inuyasha stared at her dumbfounded for a few seconds; this answer didn't exactly answer the question behind the wrapper he had so tactfully covered it in, sort of. He really wasn't that great at asking anything indirectly in the first place, but was he really going to let himself ask her if she thought they were meant to meet each other? Of course not, that would be significant of him needing someone to reassure him of security, and he had survived this long pretty alright without that. She may not be mad at him, but she hadn't actually said anything obvious; as she didn't exactly kiss him back, either. So what was he trying to say? Of course, he had no idea, so before Kagome could plague him with another questioning look he decided to dismiss his silly uncertainties with a monotone mutter.

"Oh. I see." Brilliant reply, just brilliant. You've outdone yourself this time.

As she watched him turn to his side to look out the window again and think about who knows what, Kagome couldn't help but be utterly perplexed herself yet again. If the somewhat vague but straight answer didn't actually answer his question, then what did he actually want her to talk about and why was he being so damn difficult about it? Granted, she was no psychologist, but his mind was like a starry night sky cloaked by the whisp of a filmy fog that hissed contempt at revealing the faintest glints of light. That didn't deter her from trying, though.

"What about you- do you believe in fate?" This made him stir a bit, change his gaze from the still gaping mouth of the window to the nuanced crevices on the hardwood floor. He stared at the buffered imperfections as if one of them would split open and expand at any moment, exposing the unreality of a syrupy, bitter darkness that partially concealed itself in this dimly lit room, scorching with unfamiliar dots of a pasty, slight glimmer, and he would fall into it, breathless and lost like the void behind the teeth of that window, unable to see her. For some strange reason, he knew that he'd never want to reach out towards those dots if it meant accepting the familiarity of the somber, acidic truth. It was a lingering contradiction that constantly meandered in his mind, stale and painful, but not as much as it felt to have the unsevered obligation to answer her properly such a crumbling question for him.

"I… suppose I have no choice but to agree with you," a glint of vitality was briefly present in his eyes as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, "You see, I'm a cheater. For the most part, I've managed to evade it up until now besides the lucky breaks and the corners I've cut. Other than the self-accomplishment of not ending up like most of everyone else like me with scarcely any help for so long, it's also what we're fighting to do right now. So in all honesty I'd prefer not to even take fate with a grain of salt, but really, there are more than a few incidents that threaten that resolve, including myself. Um, namely you, for instance. Miroku's curse that both his father and grandfather could not escape, the tragedy of Sango's entire village and her family…" He trailed off, his eyes still boring into the musty, dull floor.

"But how does that have anything to do with you?"

"It's an extremely selfish reason. There are many things, too many I can count myself, I could have done differently if I hadn't been so oblivious, or if I had done something sooner, questions I could have asked. I never actually forget them, they just stay stagnant, and a day usually doesn't go by that I don't for at least a fraction of a moment feel a pang of pungent regret for one of them. Then sometimes I catch myself thinking that if fate exists, there's nothing I could have done about it anyway, because no matter what I could have tried, it had already happened anyway. And it somehow it's not as much of my fault anymore; I'm less guilty. It makes it easier to deal with, y'know? But then I realize what a self-centered, shallow idea that is, how utterly contradictory I'm being, and it's disgusting. But without it that means I wouldn't have met you and the others, as annoying as you all are; so I don't even know which one I want to accept either. So I believe the same thing you do, because I have to."

Because he wasn't used to saying such personal things, he felt a nervous shiver linger on the back of his neck and hands, his body stiff and barely breathing. The intoxicating silence in the room poisoned their minds with an incessant chatter laden heavy with the genuine, melancholy boundlessness of each other's words, cut into fragments that minced their sentences before they could form. This left them speechless and bewildered; and it wasn't until the warmth reached his body and the sound of her airy, potent voice wafted to the tips of his ears did Inuyasha notice that Kagome was sitting right next to him on the chair.

"That is a very normal, human thought. And before you tell me that you dislike associating yourself with human qualities, I don't think I have to tell you that there aren't many full demons that don't suck. And by suck I mean something along the lines of highfalutin sadist or apathetic murderer. And yes, you are often a full serving of impulsive jerk with an occasional side of selfi-"

"You are not helping."

"You didn't let me finish. For the most part you're pretty decisive, so I understand when you contradict yourself or can't decide on something it must bother you a lot. But the reality is, it's not an easy question, and for someone with experiences like yours it's even harder; and you're not truly any of those things you listed. If you were so shallow, you wouldn't be questioning your own resolve and would only look at things at surface value, and if you were really so self-centered you wouldn't be risking your life to save people like me or would completely disregard the feelings or value of other people if it wouldn't end in your own benefit. As far as selfishness goes, I really don't think you're much like that at all anymore."

He looked down at the palms of his hands and left his mind to ponder the blankness of them. If he thought anything else, she'd see it through the dusky blue prisms of her eyes- she would dissect his thoughts like light and he didn't want her to see any of that. Right now he just needed to see the ghostly lines that criss-crossed his palms and rough calluses on his fingertips and knuckles; he had said too much already, and maybe if he dismissed the intricacy in his hands, as if they really were blank, she wouldn't see him either.

"You can stop that, you know." Her voice was quiet and unsettling, though she wasn't looking at him despite her sitting next to him.

"What is there to stop?"

She ignored his blatant tone of irritation, and paused for a brief moment before continuing.

"That apathetic "tough guy" act. You know it never worked very well on me, anyway."

He doubted whether she ever really believed it in the first place. He didn't know what to say, if he could say anything, because she was right and he didn't want her to be, and he couldn't let himself say any more than he already has, yet here she was, cutting down his sentences to a reluctant mutter.

"I can't."

He watched Kagome from the corner of his eye and saw her shoulders heave as he heard her sigh, brushing her bangs back and following her hand through to the back of her head, disturbing the conformity of her detangled hair. Her bangs stuck up from her forehead as she seemed to be in thought, which he thought looked looked sort of cute, not that he'd ever tell her that. He looked away from her again, wondering which one he'd prefer- as much as he wanted to, and for the most part did, believe in free will- he couldn't deny that it was fate that had brought her to him, and he couldn't help but wonder if she thought that too, as corny as it sounded. But how the hell would he ask her that? "Do you think we were meant to meet each other for a reason?" Oh god, the actual sentence in his head was worse than just the concept of asking it.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost didn't realize it when her arms wrapped around his torso from behind him, hugging him from the side with her cheek pressed against his shoulder. Her sentences came out soft and thick with an undertone of soreness, but if it was from a slight heartbreak or exhaustion he wasn't sure.

"Inuyasha, you're always so hard yourself...don't let it eat at you like this, because you can't do everything. What you've been able to do far outweighs what you haven't."

And with that his stiff countenance that he constantly sheltered himself behind temporarily melted under her voice that spilled like milk over the remains of a shattered glass.