Sorry for a slightly longer update gap than usual; I actually jumped ahead finished the story.
As always, thanks for reading and reviews/criticism are always welcome! But favorites also mean a lot too. :)
Edit 5/18/14: I forgot to write the note part, whoops. XD
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Note: Breathtakingly colorful, delicately intricate, and featherlike, the wings of a butterfly are among the most fascinating yet common spectacles to the human eye- that is, until they get stuck at the bottom of your gut. Then everyone just hates them.
Inuyasha didn't think about her words as much as he did simply take them in, the waves of her words breaking against the silence, allowing them to flood him, dragging back with them some of the regret and guilt that never left him. It made him feel a little lighter, and Kagome could have sworn she felt his pulse quicken under her hand as his hand reached to grasp hers, causing her own to skip for a moment before she continued.
"There are two scientific theories of how time works."
"Yeah?" Though he was listening, he sounded distant, his subconscious buzzing lightly in his ears with a reluctant satisfaction. She was letting him hold her hand.
"Uh-huh. They're called the Domino Effect and the Butterfly Effect, and their concepts are opposites of each other. The domino effect holds the philosophy that one event is responsible for the direct cause of another, or what happens next. It is because this theory is chronological and sounds like each moment of time is giving way to the next is what gives it its name. A lot of people tend to see life in this perspective, but...the butterfly effect is actually more correct. At least I'm pretty sure it is."
"What's it about, then?" He turned his head slightly so that he could see her from the corner of his eye to show that he was listening. Not that it mattered to him to show her that he was being attentive, but because he was only slightly interested. Only slightly.
"The butterfly effect is more complicated, but more realistic by a wide margin. It's the idea that an event, no matter how seemingly insignificant or whatever time it happened, has the ability to take part in the cause of any event. Simply put, Things That Happen are the result of many different Things, or different factors. One thing isn't necessarily directly responsible for the other, and we don't have complete control over how something will happen. We may not be in control of our so-called "fate," but we can control enough to make a difference, and I think that's what really matters, what truly makes us human. Or human-ish, in your case." Inuyasha caught a glimpse of the smirk that curled up on her mouth, an unusual sign of her teasing. His quirks are rubbing off on her too much, the smirks are supposed to be his trademark, dammit.
With her cheek still resting on his shoulder, she raised her head just enough to see part of his face. "You really shouldn't worry much about such things. You're nowhere near disgusting- I think you're fine just the way you are."
His heart began to thud against his chest at an embarrassing speed upon hearing this. An icy warmth clouded the air and stung him and the gripping silence that followed. It wasn't exactly the sensation of feeling lost, because he knew damn well where he was, but it was the best explanation he could think of, because for a moment he had almost felt that there were no walls or a floor beneath his feet. Kagome found his lack of response so queer that she almost thought she had said something wrong until she felt him grip her hand firmly and pull it up towards his face, lightly pressing his lips against her knuckles.
"Inuyasha…" The shiver that went up her spine didn't falter.
She felt the warmth of his breath against her hand as he exhaled, and she was relieved at least that his eyes were closed, because he definitely wouldn't have needed a lamp or daylight in order to see her face, which she felt was practically glowing red from all the blood that was rushing to her face. She really had to stop getting all flustered like this, though maybe it was the fact that even though he hadn't and wasn't going to say anything, this was as close to a "thank you" she was going to get from him. Just the fact that she had said something significant enough to get through to him was enough to make her grin like a fool, and she subconsciously wondered whether he could feel her smile against his shoulder, though there was something else buzzing in the front of her thoughts. For someone split between two different species, he sure did act like it; in some ways he was practically a living math problem. Most of the time he acts like a selfish jerk with his pride stuck up his ass, then she hears him say things like this, things that break her heart. For the days to come after this night, she'd remember it in some way as the first time she realized that Inuyasha was plagued by bouts of regret that lingered like a stretching shadow: no matter how far away he pushed it, it always clung to his feet, a heavy chain he couldn't shake. But life just doesn't fall on top of itself in a continuous line like fate claims it to do, that's just the way it is. It scatters like the forced air behind a butterfly, and….
Oh my god. Wait a minute.
Kagome isn't very mathematical, but her brain processed the new information like this:
a+b= bonus
Domino/Butterfly theory+ Fate/Free will = Bonus
Inuyasha almost caught himself in a daze from her closeness; the potency of her scent was exhilarating, and if he were to be completely honest with himself he'd admit that he could fall asleep in such a position, but only because his sleep had recently been decimated since they had been busy in the feudal era recently, and had yet to even take a light nap yet. But only because of that. Still, the fact that she was letting him stay like this and had yet to show any sign of wanting to move was something he was definitely okay with. And maybe he was just caught up in the moment, or perhaps that for this small window of time his usual facade was nonexistent so it didn't matter as much anymore at this point; somehow he felt that he was garnering enough courage to try and ask her that question again, albeit a bit more directly this time. Lowering her hand just enough so that he could turn his head towards her direction, he sucked in his breath unevenly before he began to speak, a trace of hesitation still remaining.
"Kagome, do you think we were supposed to-"
"THAT'S IT!"
"Wha- AUGH! Unfortunately for him, Inuyasha didn't get to finish his sentence before Kagome suddenly shot up, pushing him face-first onto the floor in the process. Taking no heed of the young man she had just knocked over, she promptly grabbed the chair, slid it back in front of her desk, turned on her desk lamp, then grabbed her laptop and opened it up while settling down in her chair all in one swift motion, possessed by a paroxysm of intellectual rhapsody. Her fluid, fevered typing wove into the eloquence of her words, stitching the seams of a guaranteed bonu-
"What the fu-!?"
Before he could even finish his profanity-laden inquiry, Kagome only paused her writing for a moment, gracefully swinging her right arm behind her, a loose fist raising a single finger to point at him with flawless acuity.
"Sit."
Though Inuyasha had just barely recovered from the shock of being pushed onto the unforgiving hardwood floor, he received it yet again, except worse.
"I'm sorry, but I need to focus!" And she was sincere, as she had tried to hold back any emotion in her enchanted command, though she wasn't sure if that made a difference with the amount of force that pushed him forward onto the ground. It's the thought that counts, right? As I was saying, her fingers tapped the keyboard in a dulcet duet as she continued to form words into a coherent and sophisticated paragraph. When she finished and had it nicely printed out, she beamed in confidence that the analysis of her comparison was 100% correct and bonus-proof, because, what else could possibly be the answer? She stood up, put away her laptop, pushed in her chair, and pivoted on her heels to find Inuyasha sitting with his legs crossed on the edge of bed again, resting his chin on his hand with his usual pouting face, which was turned away from her as he yet again resumed to staring out that still open window. He must really like that window.
Inuyasha was really only doing this because A) He was pretending to be angry at her (he was really just notably irritated, and to her it probably just looked like he was just sulking, but that wasn't going to deter him) and B) He realized that, despite his marginally heightened ability to navigate himself in the dark, he may have just been imagining those colors, or just memorized them, because he couldn't actually see any of those leaves in the visible light spectrum even though the full moon was flaunting its monthly modest, yet brilliant incandescence. But then there was also C) He was just being himself. Feeling the sensation of her eyes practically pasted on him, waiting for something, as if he knew what that was, he glared at her from the corner of his eye and spoke without hesitation.
"Do you need something?"
Kagome smiled sheepishly and clasped her hands behind her back, just a tinge caught off guard at the sharpness of his voice. "Um, sorry again for being for being sort of inconsiderate… it's just that I figured out the answer to a bonus question on my homework and got a little...excited."
He arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I wouldn't have guessed. I'd say "inconsiderate" is "sort of" an understatement."
Kagome scrunched up her face, clearly annoyed at his apathetic rejection of her apology (and if he hadn't rejected it, well, how else do you interpret a sentence like that?). "Well, I'm sorry, I'm only apologizing for being something you are just about all the time- you know, inconsiderate. Not to mention impolite, disrespectful, vulgar, and an absolute nuisance when I'm trying to work!" She she cleared her throat modestly and, while glancing around the room, caught sight of the red leaf still laying in the same spot, though the brilliance of its red hue was partially lost now as the moon's spotlight was very dim in the now well-lit room. Staying quiet, she began searching through her drawers for something, and Inuyasha couldn't snap anything sassy about that, so he didn't say anything either. When she found the things she was looking for, she stopped in front of the leaf and looked at the half-demon, who hadn't moved or barely even twitched an ear. It shouldn't have, because she knew he was probably just being an ass, but she couldn't help but worry if she had actually offended him in some way- he had actually let his guard down, and to put it bluntly, she had kind of messed it up. Then she insulted him immediately afterwards (though it's not like he hadn't been asking for it), perhaps indirectly contradicting what she had said before. Oh, you dummy. Why does he have to be such a jerk? That, of course, remained a rhetorical question- but still, she had to say something.
"Hey, you're not actually mad at me, are you?" The threads of her words, cautious and faintly above a whisper, poked at his ears as they swiveled towards the sound, though his head didn't follow with it. When he didn't answer after a few moments, he heard her sigh and resume movement. Even though that was just what he wanted, to bother her by ignoring her, he realized how dumb and manipulative that sounded, and began to feel a tinge of guilt creep up on him. Way to backfire on yourself- did he even know what he was doing? He really didn't even think he was actually mad, so why didn't he answer her? Probably because, he answered himself, you knew what she was most likely going to say next.
He turned his head to look at her, curious as to what she had been looking for, though it didn't stop him from becoming utterly confused. What was she doing with a paintbrush, a piece of paper, a white bottle with a yellow label, and...was that a photo frame?
Kagome sighed and bent over to steal the red leaf from its spotlight, holding it carefully by the stem, as her hands were already full. She had lost count of how many times she'd called him a jerk, because he was, but she wasn't determined to continue pestering him, either. Laying out the paper, paintbrush, Mod Podge, and the 5 by 5 inch photo frame on her desk, she realized that she never had much time to do crafts anymore, and that was a shame, since it's one of her favorite hobbies. Just slightly dry, the irrefutable vermillion color of the star-pointed leaf was not much bigger than the palm of her hand, and its freshly severed stem diverged into countless spidery veins that cradled the florescent light and reverberated the reflection of its passionate, cinnamon iridescence. It was just your typical lucky-yet-not-all-too-rare find of a perfect Autumn leaf, yet, there was something more than its breathtaking beauty that made her want to save it. She unscrewed the cap sealing the Mod Podge and dipped her paintbrush into it, caressing each pointed arm of the leaf with light brushstrokes on both sides and the stem, noticing about halfway through the process that Inuyasha was watching close behind her, his curiosity yet again getting the better of him. She set down the leaf onto the paper to let it dry before she put on a second coat, and paused for a moment before speaking, a trace of indifference echoing in her voice.
"This needs a second coat…," she muttered to herself quietly before she decided to address the person behind her, "I thought I upset you or something, didn't I?" He kept quiet for a few seconds, processing the suddenness of her question.
"N-No, it's just..." He really didn't know what to say; he knew it was coming to bite him in the ass no matter what he said or did. Might as well let it come sooner than later.
When she had decided that he was taking too long to answer, she turned around on her heel to face him. Leaning some of her weight against the edge of her desk and crossing her arms, she looked at him again with those same diamond-cut eyes, though her voice didn't stray from its normal sound; passionate and pertinacious.
"It's just what? Cat's got your tongue? How ironic." This only resulted in an exasperated eye roll from him, she was really enjoying taking jabs at him tonight.
"No, it's just that I have nothing worth telling the likes of you about, nor do I owe you an answer."
Kagome cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Because I was just getting to that- you were in the midst of a sentence before I had my scholas-tastic outburst, and I didn't notice until after I finished, which is the main reason why I apologized, if you must know. " It was really mostly because she felt bad for contradicting herself and pushing him onto the floor, but a little exaggerating never hurt- it was technically true.
"No, I really don't need to know." Inuyasha felt himself become the slightest bit pale, because it was about to bite him in the ass any second now.
"Inuyasha, I'm being serious. If I remember correctly, it went along the lines of "if we were supposed to" something. and I can't just let it go if it's something that's obviously been nagging at you for a while. What were you trying to tell me?"
Aaaaannd it bit him in the ass. His face was drained of any traces of attitude at those words, I mean, she even remembered the beginning of his question. This officially couldn't get any worse, and in an attempt to save himself, he pushed past her and began to apply the second coat of Mod Podge onto the leaf as carefully as he could. Kagome hadn't expected this, and turned halfway in his direction so she could look over his shoulder, less than half a foot away from him.
"I don't think it's dry enough for a second coat yet."
"Feh."
"Inuyasha, you can't just dodge my question like that!"
"Sure I can. You're the one who dodged me." At this point she'd already had enough of his snarkiness, and her next sentences were coated with a thick layer of frustration which surfaced most notably at each stressed syllable, a faint whine pricking at the edges.
"Stop arrantly ignoring my inquiry with your snarky remarks! I'm not a mind reader, but it's not very hard to tell when something's bothering you, you know. If anything, I'd rather be the least of your problems." Her voice nearly dissipated into a weak silence in those last words. He took a few seconds to process her last sentence, and without saying anything, he ceased painting and flashed a quick side glance at her from the corner of his eye. Instead of looking at him, she was staring into space at the air behind him, expressionless, as if she was waiting for his answer so one could manifest itself on her face. That was unusual, because she never lacked external emotion unless if she was possessed, sad, or tired, and technically, the last two were sort of stretching it.
"Hey," he turned halfway towards her and waited until she looked up to continue, "You're not a problem. You're just annoying." The intentions of a smile showed itself at the just-barely upturned corners of her mouth.
"Thanks. And you're insufferable."
He gave her a cocky smile. "I've never felt more obliged to act as such in your presence."
Kagome promptly looked down, as if to hide her flushed face. Though it had barely tinted a layer of red, she felt like it should be many shades darker. Maybe it was the fact that she realized what a hypocrite she'd be the next time she poked fun at Sango for her weird relationship with Miroku if she saw the way they flirt. Did this even constitute as flirting?
Inuyasha kept the crooked smile on his face, regarding her quiet, tinted-red reaction meant he "won," which was only worth noting to himself because he wasn't about to let anyone win in the Snarky Jerk Department just yet, or more likely, never. Just as he was about to turn back around to resume painting, her voice yet again found its way through the cracks in the air, fractured and disconcerting.