DISCLAIMER:: do not own. just borrowing for purpose of creative expression. no profit obtained.
A/N:: sorry this took longer than expacted. started job number three and i now seriously have no life, no time to breathe, and definitely no time to write. the next too chapters shouldn't be as long of a wait though, considering one of them is already written and the other is almost finished. until then, enjoy and review.
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-Chapter 51: I Can't Destroy What Isn't There-
The sky was grey and overcast, giving a pallid and sickly quality to the dawn as the sun peeked cautiously over the horizon. It matched Regina's conflicted mood. She felt grey inside, where normally her life had been, or at least she had always thought it had been, black and white. All her decisions either good or bad. But Emma Swan was starting to throw into blinding clarity just how wrong Regina had always been, just how grey she'd always been, always conflicted, always lost somewhere between good and evil. She saw the blurred lines between what she'd always been labeled as and what she truly was in Emma's green eyes every time the blonde looked at her. She was both saint and sinner.
She glanced over her shoulder at the blonde, asleep in her bed. She liked watching Emma sleep more than she could ever see herself admitting out loud. It was in the moments of unwakefulness that Regina was able to be soft with Emma and let her true feelings show without having to look into those knowing hopeful green eyes; it was in these moments that she got to be with Emma and yet not be disappointing her. She'd spent the entire night, sitting up on what had become her side of the bed, running her fingers through blonde hair and peppering the other woman's face with kisses. Emma always slept so deeply, the blonde never woke. She had, however, curled unconsciously into Regina's body, reaching for her even in slumber.
Regina closed her eyes, blocking off her view of the blonde and swinging her head back to the window and the grey sky. She opened her eyes and put a hand to the window, softly touching the glass. It was freezing under her touch. It would storm today.
She turned her back to the coming storm outside her bedroom window. It wasn't unusual that storms of this nature occurred in Maine, though it was slightly odd for this time of year. But she'd felt something approaching in the depths of her bones for a few days now. It hummed through her veins like a charge of magic. Something was coming, something big, something important.
She spared one quick glance at the sleeping blonde before going to the door. If it was going to storm, she'd need to prepare. She opened the door, but something stopped her from going into the dark hallway. She abandoned the open door to walk on quiet bare feet over to the bed. She sat softly on the edge, staring down at the sleeping deputy. She brushed blonde locks behind her right ear, her fingertips caressing the deputy's jaw. She moved them up Emma's cheek, tracing them across the path of her facial bones. She leaned down slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Emma's mouth, the closest she dare get to kissing the blonde. Her eyes searched the woman's face as she pulled away slowly, inch by inch, part of her willing Emma to wake up, to pull her mouth back down to hers and undo all the not doing with that one gesture. But Emma, didn't wake, just as Regina had known she wouldn't.
Regina got up and went back to the door, this time not hesitating before going into the hallway and closing the door softly behind her. She walked down the hall to the next door and opened it cautiously. Henry's room was dark; the navy striped walls were familiar and they fit Henry so well but they made the darkness of his room seem all the more thick, especially in the grey pallor of dawn.
She slipped into his room and walked over to the bed, running her fingers through the thick brown hair on his head. Like Emma, he was dead to the world while he slept. She bent down and kissed the top of his head, smoothing it down into his hair as she drew back. She saw his book, the book that had led him to seek out Emma Swan and drag her into their lives, tucked protectively half under his body, shielded from all possible harm by his small frame. His casted arm rested on a pillow to relieve the pressure. She felt a pang of regret at seeing the injury. It wasn't her fault, the rational part of her brain knew that, but there was the small seed of guilt blooming in the back of her mind that she should have paid attention more, shouldn't have limited his access to the blonde. He wouldn't have sneaked out the window if he hadn't been afraid of her reaction should he have asked her to see Emma, or at least call her. She touched his cheek once more before tucking his blanket more tightly around his little shoulders and leaving him to his dreams.
She walked downstairs, heading straight for the kitchen and the coffeemaker. She powered up the Keurig and placed her cup below the spout to catch the falling coffee as she set about getting ready for the storm. She moved back into the back hall to the storage closet and grabbed several candles from her endless supply. She placed several in each room, small boxes of matches near them, just in case the power cut out. She checked to make sure all the windows were locked tight as well as the doors, retrieved some blankets from the linen closet that she stacked in the great room. Then she lit a fire in both the great room and the parlour.
When she made it back to the kitchen, her coffee was ready. She took it black as she usually did; she was so used to the bitterness that she didn't even wince anymore. Rain began to pelt the kitchen window. She sighed and she listened to the relentless rap of it; she might be forced to work from home today if it got any worse.
She set her half-empty mug aside and went about making breakfast. She made eggs for Henry; growing boys need protein. She knew she should make some for Emma as well but her experience had proven to her that Emma Swan hardly ever felt it prudent to make choices that would benefit her health. So she threw on a rasher of bacon for Miss Swan to better clog her arteries. She stared at the slivers of meat as they spit and crisped with a look of disgust. She grabbed granola and yogurt for herself to accompany her sliced apple wedges. Unconsciously she moved to the cupboard and pulled out Emma's favourite mug, a ratty old one that Regina didn't even remember buying that had a picture faded from years of washes of an old carousel horse; she had no idea how far back in the cupboard Emma must have had to dig to find it. She selected the appropriate coffee from her vast selection, a light flavoured roast that was much too sweet for Regina's taste and popped it into the Keurig placing Emma's mug where hers had been not ten minutes earlier. She tuned back to finish their breakfast just as a wave of thunder shook the house.
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A boom of thunder and her eyes shot open. The room was dim with the gloom of an overly grey dawn. The blonde was alone, the spot beside her still made and unslept in. Regina hadn't been to bed last night. She was surprised by this; if the mayor hadn't wanted to sleep with her, she was more like to try and rouse the blonde and exile her to one of the guest rooms than to sleep in one herself. Of course, maybe she had and Emma had been her usual unwakeable self.
Emma sat up, getting out of the warm safety of the bed to go to the window. Thick clouds blocked whatever sun may be rising up in the east. Rain fell down in a gentle sheet, soaking the yard and drenching the front walk to a dangerous slickness. It looked like one hell of a storm was coming. Another boom of thunder punctuated the thought. It would definitely hit today, a tempest coming to hail the end of days.
She glanced over to her duffel where it had made a semi-permanent residence on the chair of the mayor's vanity. Getting dressed seemed such a chore. She decided to attribute her lack of drive to the weather; it was easier to blame it on the rain than to admit it was the beginning of her acceptance of defeat. Emma Swan did not like to give up but with each passing moment the internal countdown in her head brought her one step closer to the end. Her time was drawing to a close, the still made half of bed a staggering proclamation of her failure. She wasn't going to save them, was she? Another boom of thunder sounded in response.
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The ground floor was eerily silent but the soft glow of light coming from the kitchen told her that the mayor was already up and awake. She stepped softly onto the hardwood, the smell of bacon finally attracting her attention. She pulled the mayor's silk robe tighter around herself; she had chosen to wrap her lingerie clad body in the soft fabric than try and shove herself into a pair of jeans and a shirt. She tiptoed across the foyer to the door that led to the kitchen. Regina was inside, nursing a steaming mug of coffee as she stared off, deep in thought, another cup of coffee full and ready on the machine behind her. Emma slipped in and headed straight for the necessary pull of caffeine. "I didn't mean to put you out."
Regina set down her now empty coffee cup in the sink and rested back against it. She was still in yesterday's suit; it would seem she hadn't slept at all. "You didn't. I… came upstairs and sat with you for a time. I just wasn't tired."
Emma grabbed her coffee and took a long sip before leaning back against the counter beside Regina.
Regina reached over absentmindedly and fingered the plum silk of the robe. She had to admit, though only in the safety of her head, that Emma looked beautiful like this, with her sleep mussed golden hair, in the mayor's clothes. She could get used to mornings being like this.
Emma's head fell to the side to rest on Regina's shoulder. "I missed you." She turned her head just enough so that she could nuzzle the darker woman's neck with her nose.
"I know. You were murmuring my name in your sleep."
Emma raised her head. She looked away to hide the blush that coloured her cheeks. She'd never had anyone catch her doing that, but then again, she didn't ever allow sleepovers with any friends or romantic conquests. It was an unfortunate but necessary by-product of her condition.
Regina decided to spare her and not question the nonsensical mumblings she'd overheard during the night, when Emma had moved between soft breathy exhalations to mumbling the brunette's name to mutterings of love here and there. It was odd, but Regina had given up trying to piece it together an hour after the words had started slipping through her lips. Instead, she turned the conversation back to safer topics. "I have to go into work today.
Emma's embarrassment was temporarily forgotten as she looked at the woman beside her. "In this weather?"
Regina nodded sullenly. "Unfortunately. I'm already behind." She bit her lip, looking slightly unsure. "If the storm lets up a little by lunch, I'd like to take Henry out to Granny's… alone."
Emma let the wounded look briefly flash across her features for a few seconds before she was able to rein it in. "Of course. I was thinking about having lunch with Mary Margaret anyway, take some sandwiches to the school or something, pick up Henry's schoolwork and catch up. Henry and I could meet you at Granny's and I'll pick up some take out. I could swing by and pick him back up an hour later." She managed a small smile and pushed away from the counter. "I'll go wake Henry before his eggs get cold." She didn't wait for the mayor to respond.
"Miss Swan?"
Emma froze in the doorway but didn't turn back. "Hmm?"
"Maybe tonight, it could just be us?"
Emma smiled to herself. "I'd like that." She continued out of the room.
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The wind was still blowing an inordinate amount by the time lunch rolled around, but the rain had stopped and the thunder had drifted outside the town limits, so Emma decided lunch at Granny's wouldn't be dangerous. It would do Henry some good to get out of the house. She had worried all through breakfast and into the morning what Regina could possibly have to discuss with their son that she wasn't supposed to overhear. Maybe it was something as innocent as Regina just wishing to have quality time with Henry, but maybe it wasn't.
They entered the diner to find it almost completely devoid of customers for a Friday afternoon, but considering the weather, Emma wasn't surprised most of Storybrooke's citizens had decided not to brave the outdoors.
"Hey!" Ruby lit up at the sight of fresh faces. "You guys here for lunch?"
Emma smiled at the young brunette. Trust her to be cheerful even when the weather was shit. "Henry's meeting Regina here and I have a to-go order. Me and Mary Margaret's usual."
Ruby grinned. "Grilled cheese and one cheeseburger, no tomato, got it."
Emma took Henry to their usual booth and sat down with him to wait for Regina and her take out order.
Regina was right on time. She looked surprised to see Emma and Henry already waiting for her, but the blonde couldn't blame her; she didn't have a good track record for being on time, let alone early.
Emma stood and offered her side of the booth to the brunette. "Just waiting for my order."
As if on cue, Ruby appeared beside the deputy, holding a bag of two white Styrofoam containers. "Here you go Em."
Emma accepted the bag. "Thanks Rubes." She handed the girl a ten note before turning back to Regina. "I guess I'll be going then. I'll be back in an hour."
"That won't be necessary Miss Swan. David Nolan has asked to have Henry over for the night, to play some video game or another. I'll drop him off on my way back to work."
Emma didn't know what to make of that, but she made a split second decision not to read into it. "Oh, um, okay. I'll see you back at the house later?"
Regina gave a quick dismissive nod.
Emma turned, slightly uneasy, and left the diner, unable to quite shake the feeling that something was going on and she was about to be blindsided.
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Emma waited as all the students filed out past her before she stepped into the empty classroom, take out containers in tow. "I come bearing a cheeseburger."
Mary Margaret glanced over her shoulder, a questioning eyebrow raised.
"Sans tomato." Emma added to her previous statement.
Mary Margaret set down her white board eraser, smiled, and turned. She looked at the take out in Emma's hands gratefully. "Thank you. I'm starving." She took the container Emma offered her and sat down at one of the desks. "With all the baking I did yesterday evening for your birthday party tomorrow, the only thing I felt like doing in that kitchen this morning was making tea, strong tea."
Emma pursed her lips. "You really don't have to go to so much trouble." She sat down in the desk beside the one Mary Margaret occupied.
Mary Margaret waved it off as she took a bite of her cheeseburger. She put a hand up to politely block her mouth before speaking with it full. "Nonsense! It's no trouble at all. It's not every day your best friend turns twenty eight. Besides, it's just a few friends hanging around the flat."
Emma absentmindedly stirred her pile of catsup with the end of a fry. "Who did you even invite?" Now that she thought on it, she hadn't made much of an effort to connect with the Storybrooke halves of everyone she knew, so great had been her focus on Regina and getting the brunette to fall in love with her.
"Oh, you know, the usual suspects… Ruby, Ashley, a few others. Nothing too huge."
Emma set down her fry and bit her bottom lip. "Do you, uh, mind if I invite Regina too?" When Mary Margaret didn't respond, she continued hastily. "It's just that… well, I know you're not fond of her and she's definitely not your biggest fan, but her and I, we…" She couldn't seem to find the right words to define just exactly what she and Regina were. Even though she was temporarily living with the brunette and she had all but agreed that they were in a relationship, girlfriends seemed an unfit term, but neither were they something as simple as just friends.
The schoolteacher held up a hand to stop her. "It's your party Emma, invite who you want. Just remind her to play nice."
Emma nodded. She picked up her fry, staring at it, before deciding she wasn't really hungry and tossing it aside. She bunched up the carton and tossed it in the trash beside the front desk. She glanced at the clock and couldn't help her mind from drifting to Regina and Henry in the diner and what they could be talking about.
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Her son stared at her, his casted arm resting on the table next to his cleaned lunch plate. The way he'd tackled the hamburger and fries that he'd ordered at Granny's was a clear indicator that Emma Swan's culinary prospects had not improved. They had eaten in silence just as they always had in the year before Emma had come into their lives. Would this, once again, be what their lives would revert to once she was gone? It was a scary thought.
"Mom?" Henry raised an eyebrow, snapping her from her musings.
"Yes, well, I was wondering if you'd given any thought to what you'd like to get Miss Swan for her birthday present?"
Henry perked up at the mention of Emma's birthday. He grinned. "I have some ideas!"
Regina smiled. She listened as Henry rattled off outrageous idea after outrageous idea, most of which centered around fairytales and other such magical themes.
"Do you have any ideas Mom?"
Regina smiled conspiratorially at the little boy. "Just one."
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Since she had the opportunity, Emma took a detour to the station and rode patrol with Graham to survey the damage from the morning half of the storm and catch up on the goings on of Storybrooke. The storm looked like it was cycling back for more and wouldn't be letting up any time tonight. They stopped at several locations and helped citizens prepare for what was sure to be quite the night.
When she finally pulled into the drive, she noticed the lights in the upstairs window were on. A quick check of the garage confirmed that the Mercedes was indeed there; Regina had come home early. Not that Emma blamed her really. The wind had already started to pick up with a vengeance and the rain had been coming off and on over the last hour and a half. She wrapped her jacket tighter around herself and ran to the front door, thankful when she found it unlocked. She jumped inside and pressed it closed against the wind, locking it. She took off her jacket and hung it in the coat closet before setting her keys on the side table of the foyer. "Regina? You home?"
"Upstairs." The reply came from the second floor.
Emma ascended to the second floor and was met with a dark hallway. The mayor's bedroom door was open a crack, light spilling from it and into the hall. She pushed the door open and was confronted with candles everywhere, enough that it was almost as bright as the overhead light. She didn't see Regina anywhere, but she noticed the en suite bathroom's door partially open and more candles lit inside. "Did the power go out?" Thunder boomed deafeningly outside the window and she turned to look.
"Not yet, but I thought the candles were a nicer touch."
Emma turned to find the brunette leaning in the doorway to the bathroom, dressed in the plum colored silk robe that Emma herself had been wearing earlier that morning. She could see Regina nipples, erect and straining against the fabric. She wasn't wearing a bra, and Emma would wager that she probably wasn't wearing anything else underneath it either. She gulped, visibly.
Regina smirked, pushing off the door frame and stalking across the room. "I drew us a bath." She pulled Emma's shirt over her head and tossed it aside, her nails dragged down over the exposed flesh of her stomach and then sliding back up to massage the blonde's breasts through her bra. Her hands abandoned them quickly enough to go to her jeans where they undid the button on the zipper and drew it down, pushing the denim over her hips and down her legs. She reached around, unclasping the blonde's bra as Emma kicked the denim from around her ankles. And then there were only her hot pink lace boy shorts. "Are you going to remove them, or shall I?"
Emma glanced down her own body to her underwear. She stepped back out of the brunette's reach. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
Regina's smirk didn't waver as she reached for the tie of the robe and pulled it free. The silk fell open and Regina shrugged out of it. She stood confidently bare before Emma's eyes, her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised expectantly.
Emma hooked her fingers through the flimsy lace at her hips and dragged it down her legs until it reached her knees and continued the rest of the way on its own. Regina held out a hand to her and she accepted it without hesitation, letting the brunette lead her back into the bathroom. The tub was full and waiting, with steam rising from its surface.
Regina released her hand to get in first, flinching a little at the initial burn of the hot water licking her skin, but she adjusted quickly and sank down.
Emma came to the edge of the tub. She looked down into Regina's brown eyes, inspecting her so intensely that she felt it underneath her skin. She felt something brush her leg and she broke eye contact to look down and watch as Regina's hand caressed the skin of her thigh softly. The blonde bit her bottom lip before stepping cautiously into the water. It was near scalding, enough so that she wanted to jump right back out but Regina's hands were already on either side of her hips, lowering her down and positioning her in her lap. She relaxed a little once she was situated and leaned back into the firm body behind her, her head dropping back onto the brunette's shoulder. The heat, which had seemed overpowering just a moment before, now seemed to be massaging away aches and pains she hadn't even realised she had. She felt the stiffness leaving her body, dispersing into water that she just now noticed was fragrant with some sort of oil.
Regina wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist and pulled Emma close against her. "When I was younger, a child at Millhaven, I used to dream of this woman. She came to me on nights, random as they were… maybe it was only when I needed her, maybe she was just a figment of my imagination. I never remembered the dreams after I'd had them, what we'd do or talk about or if we even did. Sometimes I wouldn't see her for months, sometimes I'd see her three nights in a row. I began to believe she was an angel, sent to save me from my mother. After… well I suppose you know what happened to the woman I loved…"
"Daniela." Emma uttered the name softly, knowing it was a sore point for Regina.
The brunette tensed for a moment, but the stiffness quickly ebbed away. "Yes, Daniela. After she was taken from me, I sought out Rumplestiltskin to aid me in learning magic. It was my first and perhaps greatest mistake. By embracing dark magic, stealing the hearts of others, bending their wills to what I wanted… the moment I began to play the role of a god was the moment my angel left me. The memory of her haunted me, but I never saw her again. I missed her presence; I had thought she'd always be there, the one thing in my life I could always depend on. But after I enacted the curse that brought us here, and she still didn't return, I knew I'd never see her again." She chuckled softly at the absurdity of it. "And then you showed up."
Emma frowned. "It was me?" If what the mayor was saying was true then Queen Regina would have had the dreams too. How come she'd never mentioned it before?
Regina nodded. "Losing Daniela, that betrayal, it caused hate in me. Your eyes were my one light in the darkness. When I lost them too…"
Emma forgot herself for a moment and reached out, stroking down the mayor's arm still around her waist. "I used to see you too, in my daydreams. I've never really had a true dream, but I imagine if I did, you would have been there as well."
Regina laughed dryly. "Please don't tell me you subscribe to that nonsense about fate and this all being preordained."
Emma shrugged. "Don't you?"
"No, I believe we control our own fates. If not, then really what's the point? It's easy to tell yourself it's all preordained, that life is some twisted play and were all just actors reading lines, but that's a cop out, a way to feel like you don't have any blame."
Emma was still stroking her fingers across the skin of the mayor's arm. "You believe all that you did in the Enchanted Forest, that it was your fault?"
Regina sighed. "It was."
Emma shook her head. "Life gives us our hand and we may choose how to play it, but we don't choose the cards we are dealt. Circumstances beyond your control led you to where you are Regina, just as mine led me here."
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The sweats were old, but they were warm. She pulled them on along with a sweater. The air had taken a chilly turn by the time they'd drained the bath and Emma was wearing all the layers she could. Their conversation had pattered off as Regina's hand had sunk between her thighs, moving against her and then inside her until she hadn't been able to speak even if she had wanted to. It had seemed like forever since she'd felt the mayor's touch.
Regina had gone downstairs to have a drink before bed. Emma exited the room and padded down the stairs until she reached the ground floor. She crossed the foyer to the parlour and found Regina, nursing a glass of cider. The blonde sat down on the couch beside her.
Regina took a deep gulp of cider and then an even deeper breath. "The way you look at me… sometimes I feel as if all I've done doesn't even matter. Your eyes absolve me of my sins. I wish you would tell me of our story. I want to remember."
It would be easy to unload it all, to tell Regina everything that had happened. That their fairytale world still existed and that they were married and had a daughter. That this world was fake in so many ways, a fabrication. They didn't belong here, they were living in a snow globe, trapped in a picturesque Maine town with nothing to do but exist forever as they were. It would be easy, but it wouldn't be fair. Why shatter her little world? If Emma was destined to be stuck here, she refused to have both of them be miserable. For her Regina, she'd let this Regina be happy. "It's a very long story Regina and not one I think you'd like to hear. Besides, it no longer matters."
Regina was quiet for a long time, seeming to accept the answer. Then, "Do you really love me Miss Swan?"
Emma nodded. "You know I do."
Regina reached out, slipping her hand into Emma's. She entwined their fingers and allowed herself a few moments of bliss. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle and it occurred to her, not for the first time, that were this a place where magic still abounded and fairytales still had happy endings, she would love Emma Swan, in all the ways she deserved to be loved. But she knew that world was gone, a fragment of all their pasts. She pulled their clasped hands into her lap. "If you love me, then you'll leave. Leave Storybrooke. You are quite important to Henry and I care for you too much, for us to pursue this."
Emma shook her head. "For once, can you not fight? You're resisting what you feel."
Regina placed her free hand over Emma's chest. "Quite contrary dear, for the first time in a long time, I'm protecting someone else's heart." She kissed the blonde's hand that she was grasping and began to drop her other hand from the woman's chest.
Emma reached out and snatched the retreating hand back. "No! Regina, I love you. I've been trying to tell you that there is no other option for me than this. Tell me you don't feel it?"
"It doesn't matter!"
"Yes it does! It's all that matters! Look into my eyes and tell me they don't seem familiar to you! You know I'm right! You love me."
Regina shook her head furiously. "I am not capable of love."
"The sad thing is you've been telling yourself that lie for so long that I think you actually believe it."
"You're disappointed that I can't love you back."
Emma shook her head. "No." She let Regina have her hands back. "I'm disappointed that you refuse to try." She stood. "I'm not going to stop coming here. I will continue to pursue you, especially now that I'm stuck here."
"Stuck here?"
Emma nodded. "The choice has been made, and now we all are."
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Mary Margaret heard the key in the lock and nearly jumped out of her skin as she rose from the couch. She stared at the door, ready to face whoever was breaking in and yet unsure what she could really do against any intruder that may come through. After all, she was a grown woman in flannel pajamas with fluffy kitties all over them and her well worn copy of Persuasion in her hands. She supposed she could hit them with the book, not that it would do much damage, but still, it was something. She planted her feet defensively and raised the book over her head like it were a huge rock and not a binding of paper.
The door popped open and there stood Emma. She was thoroughly soaked, her blonde hair hanging limply around her face and dripping down to puddle on the floor outside the flat. Her sweater was dark with soaked in water as were her sweats. She clutched her keys in a wet cold hand. And she was barefoot. But it was her face that drew Mary Margaret's attention the most; even through her face was soaked, the schoolteacher could still differentiate between the woman's tears and the surrounding wetness.
"Oh Emma."
And that was all it took for the blonde to stumble in and seek the comforting embrace of the brunette's arms.
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The knock came just after ten thirty, nearly an hour after she had put Emma to bed. She had finally managed to get the blonde to stop crying and into dry clothes, but Emma wouldn't talk about it, just kept on mumbling about how she'd failed.
The schoolteacher opened the door to find a very polished, as always, Mayor Mills, a wet but closed umbrella clutched in her hand. She glared at the woman, her disdain written plainly on her face. "May I help you Mayor Mills?"
Regina bristled at the undisguised hostility in the woman's tone. But fighting with her old nemesis was hardly why she was here. "I came to speak with Miss Swan."
Mary Margaret shook her head. "I don't know what you said to her, but I'm not going to let you in there to do more damage."
Regina frowned. "She's upset?" Her anger with the schoolteacher ebbed away, forgotten for the moment.
"Well people don't usually sob uncontrollably unless they are."
Regina pushed past her and headed straight for the stairs.
Mary Margaret tossed the door shut and ran to get in front of her, jumping onto the bottom step to block her way. "No! She doesn't want to see you."
Regina stopped. Her first instinct was always to fight and this time was no different. Her fists clenched at her sides, but one thought to the blonde upstairs and her anger was easily swallowed back down. She looked at Mary Margaret. "I'm the only one who can fix this. You have to let me try."
Mary Margaret wasn't sure what made her step aside, maybe it was the genuine concern in the mayor's eyes, maybe it was something else, but she moved out of the woman's way.
"Thank you Miss Blanchard." She stepped past her and onto the stairs.
"Hurt her Regina, and you will pay."
Regina paused in her ascent for a brief moment but didn't respond. After a couple beats she resumed her climb, her hesitation the only indication that she'd heard and acknowledged the threat.
She put her ear to the closed door of Emma's small room. The was no sound from inside, no light under the door. She was probably already asleep. It had been a shock when the other woman had stormed out on her, barefoot no less, grabbing her keys off the foyer side table and running out into the rain. Regina had believed it was in anger, now she knew she'd been wrong. Either way, she wasn't sure she could handle letting the blonde go to sleep hating her.
She pushed the door open. Emma's back was to the door, but the irregular rise and fall of her breathing told Regina she wasn't asleep. The mayor slipped in and closed the door, pulling off her coat and kicking off her shoes. She went to the bed and crawled in beside the blonde, running a hand down her back, but not touching her in any other way. "I'm sorry."
It was a long stretch of silence before Emma finally answered. "I know."
"I want to be what you need. But I just can't."
"I know." Slowly Emma turned over. Her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying.
Regina felt her chest constrict painfully at the sight.
"I expected too much from you. That was my mistake." She took a shaky breath. "I will stay until Sunday, it'll give Henry time to enjoy the day, have some cake. I'll explain it to him Sunday morning before I go. We'll have to work out some sort of schedule, maybe a weekend a month, or over the summer or something."
"You're going to leave?"
Emma looked defeated. "Maybe it's better for both of us if I do."
Everything in Regina was screaming at her to tell Emma to stay, not to go, to just give her time. That was all she needed. But the logical part of her brain, that damn practical half that ruled her decisions in this world kept her mouth shut. And she held the blonde silently to her until Emma fell asleep. Then she slipped back out of the room and out of the flat, resolving that if the next day was to be Emma's last, she would make it Emma's best day in Storybrooke so far and give her the send off she deserved.