DISCLAIMER:: do not own ouat or its characters. just borrowing for purpose of creative expression. no profit obtained.
A/N:: finally an update. i know it's taken a long time and for that i do apologise but i am an adult with a job and that job has demanded the greater part of my attention during the holiday season. luckily things are winding down starting the 7th.
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-Chapter 56: If I Only Could Decide-
Queen Regina felt the magical tingle fill her veins as she passed through the mirror hand in hand with the mayor. A crackle that dispersed through her system as it did every time magic touched down in her system. She felt the mayor's hand drop from hers and for the brief moment when they were stepping between worlds, she felt around blindly to get it back. But before she could find her other half in the void, she slipped through the surface of the mirror and into a world she'd never seen before.
An array of sensations assaulted her at once. The crackling of magic left her system so suddenly that she felt a shock like touching metal when filled with static electricity and that sharp bite you feel at the release of it into the metal. Her boots made a squelching sound as they touched to the ground and she smelled recently fallen rain on the air. The air was chilly and bit at the tan skin of her face, sending a blush across the flesh.
She had stepped out beneath a tree. She looked up at it. It was a tree she recognised. It was her tree, her apple tree. She put her hand to its trunk and stroked the bark fondly. "Hello, old friend." She bit her bottom lip as she stared lovingly at this tree that she'd nutured from a sapling. Her first true child and the first thing she'd ever cared for, prior even to Daniela.
The area around her was foreign to her. A white building stood off to her side. It was odd. Not big enough to be a castle, but too big to be the cottages and manor homes that filled the cities of the Enchanted Forest. It wasn't secure enough to be a stronghold. Her hand dropped from the tree and she stepped closer to the building. It appeared to be a residence of some sort.
A back door was not far away. She walked cautiously toward it, her senses attuned to the world around her. It was dawn, the sun just barely peeking out over the horizon beyond the trees that bordered the yard where the tree was. She knew an attack could come from any direction. Her eyes swept the yard as she slowly moved towards the door.
Her hand touched the handle and she tried to open it. It was unlocked. She stepped from the chilly morning air and into a thin corridor. Wet clothes lay strewn haphazardly in little piles on the floor of the corridor. She closed the door quietly and stepped over the piles. She emerged from the corridor into a kitchen. It was smaller and much more compact that the kitchens in the palaces in which she'd lived, even smaller than the one at Millhaven. She walked around. The ovens had odd doors and there were several machines she'd never seen before.
She moved into a smaller corridor and emerged into a room with several doors and a staircase leading off of it. One room with no door just an archway that led into it was dominated by a dining table with several chairs around it. Another had a piano and couches visible through the open archway. The door to another was opened to reveal a dark room that smelled faintly of apples and alcohol.
She climbed slowly up the stairs, listening for any signs of life. The residence was eerily silent. When she reached the second floor landing she was faced with a u-shaped corridor of several closed doors. The first one she tried opened up to a messy chamber of blues. A child's room by the looks of it. There were bookshelves with loads of books, toys collected in piles on the ground, the bed was unmade. She smiled softly to herself as she closed the door.
A few more she tried offered up odd looking bathing chambers and several bed chambers that appeared impersonal and unoccupied. Finally she reached the last door at the end of the left arm of the U. She listened, her ear pressed to the white door but no sound could be heard. Just as with the others, she opened it slowly, wary of a possible attack.
The room was slightly messy, clothes once again strewn around. There was a bag open on a chair with even more clothes falling from it. But that was hardly what grabbed her attention. Her eyes were fixed on the figure on the bed, blonde hair and the arch of a bare back turned towards her that she knew intimately. "Emma." The name came out of her lungs in an exhalation.
She raced around the bed to the other side, crouching before the blonde. Her eyes were closed but the rise and fall of her chest suggested that she was just asleep. Regina let out a sigh of relief. A sheet and duvet protected the blonde's modesty from the world. Regina reached out a tentative hand and stroked the woman's fair cheek softly. Emma mumbled softly in her sleep and shifted. The duvet fell away at the slight movement, leaving nothing but the sheet carelessly draped over the woman's torso, her nipples straining against the soft satin of the material.
Regina closed her eyes, tamping down her sudden surge of arousal. The way this woman affected her was instantaneous and mind-blowing. No one had ever had this much power over her before. Once she was sure she could handle the view, her eyes slipped open again.
Emma turned over in her sleep, mumbling more incoherent musings that Regina couldn't decipher and she was met again with the familiar sensuous curve of the blonde's spine. But... Regina's heart froze in her chest. Her fingers reached out and slid over an iridescent imperfection in her skin. There were several more randomly strewn across her back. Scars. Scars she did not recognise. This was Emma, but it was not her Emma.
She stood so fast she almost fell backward with the momentum. A door stood open to another bathing chamber on the far wall and she rushed towards it, shutting the door softly behind her, cutting off her view of the blonde on the bed. She placed her hands on either side of the sink, staring down into it, breathing deeply trying to calm herself. What was this? What had happened to Emma? What was this place? And where was her other half?
She looked up into the large mirror before her and a yelp escaped her throat. Staring back at her was the face of the mayor. She lifted a hand, as did the reflection. She brought it up to her cheek and the reflection mimicked the gesture. Her fingers ran through her hair. It was decidedly shorter than what it had been before she'd stepped through the mirror hand in hand with the woman whose reflection now stared back at her. What was this? She looked down at her body for the first time. She was dressed in the odd clothing that the mayor had been wearing in Eternity. Somehow, she was in the mayor's body.
It hit her then. Fate's message. They had one day to show each other why their world was the one to be saved. What better way to do that than to live a day in each other's world, to live their life, see what they see, do what they do. It was quite brilliant actually. The most direct and best way for each of them to make an educated decision.
Slowly she pushed away from the sink and went back to the door, opening it just a little. She peeked out at the woman asleep on the bed. So this was Emma when she wasn't with her. This was her other half. She looked mostly the same, but then again, so did she. She was the mirror image of the mayor with minor adjustments, such a wardrobe and haircut, so she shouldn't be surprised that Emma so closely resembled the Queen of the Enchanted Forest. But there was something decidedly less regal about her, even in sleep. Her body was looser, more relaxed.
She crossed the room and sat on the empty half of the bed, observing the woman, who was now turned towards her. Her nails were shorter than the Queen's and had a paint of some sort on them. Smaller scars dotted her fore and upper arms here and there. This girl seemed to be a battle ground of suffering. She stroked down the bare arm, her fingers mapping out the scars on the woman's skin.
"Mmm, why are you dressed?" Emma's half opened green eyes regarded her. "And your hand's cold. Have you been outside?" Her eyes opened fully, her head lifting a little off the pillow as she regarded the woman before her.
Regina felt her heart thump happily in her chest, or rather, the mayor's chest. Emma's eyes were the same. She looked into them and the eyes of her Queen stared back out at her, unchanged. This was her Emma but, just like she was herself, wrapped in a different skin. She smiled. "I was just running an errand darling. I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep."
The blonde laid her head back down to the pillow but didn't close her eyes. "Are you coming back to bed?" She seemed to be testing Regina somehow, though the brunette didn't understand the fear and hesitance on the blonde's face.
Regina didn't respond, just began to peel off the clothes that covered this body. As soon as they were all condemned to the floor, she slid under the duvet and sheet, pulling both up and around them.
Emma smiled and pulled her close. Their naked bodies collided and Regina felt a familiar spark ignite in her system. She found the blonde's lips, kissing her hungrily. She had expected never to feel this again. She had been so sure the moment she'd put her wife in that crystal coffin that her world had reached its inevitable conclusion. But she felt hope blossoming inside of her now. Maybe all was not truly lost, not yet.
Emma's hunger for her reared up full force. The blonde pushed the brunette down into the bed, crawling over her, all notions of returning to sleep gone the instant they touched. She nipped at the brunette's jaw, her tongue darting out to soothe wherever her teeth briefly touched flesh. One hand found Regina's left breast and began to slowly knead the flesh.
Regina moaned. She found that the mayor's body responded to the blonde's attentions much as her own would. The arousal pooled between her legs and she lifted her hips off the bed, rocking up into the body over hers suggestively.
Emma smirked down at her. Stopping her ministrations on the brunette's jaw to stare into her eyes.
Regina saw the pendant dangling down, as if reaching for her, from the blonde's neck. The separated piece of her soul straining to connect with its owner.
Emma's hand abandoned her breast and snaked down her torso, gliding over the planes of her stomach, and straight into the wetness between her thighs. Her eyes slammed closed at the contact and she moaned, a low growl clawing its way from her throat.
Emma's mouth feasted on her breasts, sucking and nibbling at her nipples as she sank two fingers deep into her. She began a maddeningly slow place, dragging them out, caressing her inner walls with their tips as she did, only to thrust them slowly back in.
Her fingers threaded through Emma's hair dragging the woman's mouth back up to her own in a bruising kiss. She brought her hand to the blonde's sex, stroking her fingers through Emma's wet folds. It was all she could think of to encourage the woman to pick up the pace.
Emma's breath caught in her throat. "Oh Gina baby please."
Regina smiled. "Of course darling. I'll take care of you." She circled the blonde's entrance slowly with the tip of one finger, before sliding it inside.
Emma groaned happily. "More."
Regina obliged, adding two more fingers. Emma stretched around her. She gave the blonde a moment to grow accustomed to the stretch and then she pulled out of her and plunged back in, picking up the pace with each thrust.
It had the desired effect as the blonde picked up her thrusts to match the brunette's. Regina kissed the blonde hard, their mouths coming together in a clash of teeth and tongues. Regina bit Emma's bottom lip, swallowing down the moan that bubbled up from the blonde's throat. She brushed her thumb across the blonde's clit.
Emma pressed herself harder against Regina's hand, meeting her thrust for thrust with her hips as her hand strained to match the older woman's pace. She was determined for them to orgasm together. After she'd spent the previous night, and well into the morning, ravaging the brunette's body, she was finally ready to share in the pleasure.
It was a quick build up when it came. One moment Regina's tongue was exploring the blonde's mouth, her hips rocking at a frantic pace, the next she was coming undone around Emma's fingers as the blonde came undone above her. Watching Emma above her, her back bowed in ecstasy, her mouth open with a cry that had no volume, her eyes slammed shut, it was almost as satisfying as the spasms that pulsed through her body.
Emma collapsed forward onto her body, spent from the exertion. Her chest heaved in time with Regina's, her face buried against the brunette's sweaty neck. Her breath came out in heavy puffs against the tan skin and she placed sloppy kisses to the flesh as she waited for her lungs to function properly again.
Regina smiled to herself at the feeling of the weight pressed down on her body. She wrapped an arm around the blonde, holding her close. She could see why the mayor would be loathe to give this life up.
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"You're acting weird." Emma glanced over at the brunette from the driver's seat, a frown furrowing her brow as she stared at the brunette, who appeared to be oddly fascinated by the seatbelt.
"Keep your eyes on the road!" Regina's eyes went comically wide as she gripped the 'oh shit' bar with white knuckles.
Emma raised an eyebrow but turned her attention back to the streets of Storybrooke. Regina had been acting weird from the moment she said they were going to have breakfast and then go pick up Henry. Breakfast had been an interesting affair. They both knew Emma's track record with kitchens and their many appliances and Regina had claimed she didn't feel like cooking, so it had been cereal. The brunette had taken to that bowl of Lucky Charms with a gusto even Emma couldn't match, hungry as she was, and she'd been left to gaze in wonder as the woman downed two bowlfuls of the sugary cereal. Then, she'd offered to let Emma drive the Mercedes. That thing was almost as prized as Henry. But Emma had just decided it must be a sign of good faith on Regina's part, but now she wasn't so sure. The woman seemed more on edge than usual.
Emma pulled the sleek black car to a stop in front of Mary Margaret's building. "Let's go get our son."
Regina bit her bottom lip and stared out the car window at the old building. Almost reluctantly she opened the door and stepped out into the afternoon sunshine. Despite the smell of rain that still permeated the air, the day was splendidly clear.
Emma came around to the sidewalk and walked towards the front door. She looked down as Regina slid her hand into hers, lacing their fingers together. She gave the brunette a genuine smile, which was instantly returned.
"I love you Emma."
"I know. I love you too." Emma opened the door and led them inside. She went straight upstairs, not even pausing to knock as if she still lived in the apartment full time.
Henry looked up from the couch, his little face lighting up at the sign of them. "Mom! Emma! You're here!"
Emma let go of Regina's hand to embrace their son as he ran towards them. "Hey kid." She ruffled his messy brown hair.
He threw his good arm around Regina's waist, burying his face for a moment against her stomach. She smiled and smoothed down the hair that Emma had just mussed. She wondered what had happened to his arm but to ask was to give herself away and she wasn't sure that was the best idea. She knew Emma was already suspicious of her behaviour. She had tried to keep herself in check but this world was so different from everything she knew. It was odd, like Wonderland, though in a much more practical way. The odd soup, with the colorful shaped sweet things, ahe'd had while they broke their fast, that had been a real treat. But the look Emma had given her had told her that was not a selection the mayor normally would have made. She thought she had been smooth in getting Emma to drive the horseless carriage, mostly because she knew she would crash the thing if she had even attempted it. But her fascination with the town as they'd passed it had also drawn Emma's attention. She resolved that she had to be more mayor-like to avoid further suspicion. The thing was, she didn't know what the mayor normally acted like.
"How was your birthday dinner with mom, Emma?"
Emma smiled, a private smile meant just for her, and Regina found herself wondering what had transpired the night before that she was supposed to remember. Emma turned her attention back to the boy. "Oh, nothing really major. Tell me about your night."
Regina sat on the couch as Henry leapt into some story about his evening with Mary Margaret. She had yet to see the woman who Henry had stayed the night with but the groan of the old pipes told her she was probably in the bathing chambers getting cleaned up.
"Miss Blanchard is getting ready so we can go to Granny's for lunch. I'm starving."
Emma rolled her eyes. "You're always starving."
Henry's little hand touched the pendant at Emma's throat. "Is that what Mom got you for your birthday?"
Emma nodded and put a hand to the pendant reverently, her hand protectively clutching it. She looked oddly sad for a moment as she held it, before turning to meet Regina's eyes. She nodded. "Yea, kid, it is."
Regina wanted to hold her, to chase away whatever it was that was making her less than happy, but that was the moment Mary Margaret Blanchard chose to make her entrance.
The petite woman cleared her throat and everyone in the room looked up.
Regina froze. Snow White. As with Emma and herself, there were slight variations to the original copy, the hair was shorter, the countenance more demure. It was her greatest enemy muted somehow by the effects of the curse. She stood off to the side, staring at Emma and the boy.
"Can we go eat now?" Henry was practically bouncing on the couch cushion.
Regina smiled at his enthusiasm. He was full of life, just like Emma. He was every bit her son. A new sense of protectiveness for the boy took over. He was part of Emma, that meant he was something to be loved and protected. She stood and held out a hand to him, which he took. She smiled as his hand wrapped easily around hers. Their little man.
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She stared blankly ahead of her at the wall, thinking about everything she'd seen at lunch. What must it be like for the mayor to live this way? She'd recognised them all. They were all a part of her history, faces she knew, faces that had all been twisted in hate, anger or fear at some point or another, all for her. It must be quite a lonely existence here for her other half, to know all the people around you, know who they were and how much they once loathed you, and yet she did so, alone. To carry the burden of that knowledge would be hard, all the while knowing that if you ever let the truth slip, if they ever did remember, you may no longer carry such a big secret, but they would also resume hating you as much as they always had. There was no escaping her deeds, so the mayor beared the burden in silence. No wonder she had taken to Emma. It must have been scary as well as exhilarating to find someone who knew who you were underneath it all and yet not judge you for it.
"I wrapped up Henry's arm so he could get in his bath before dinner." Emma walked in and immediately began picking up all the discarded clothes strewn across the floor. It was so very domestic, seeing her like this. The sight warmed Regina's heart. Emma, without the pressures of war and a kingdom counting on her to rule. This was Emma unburdened. It was a beautiful thing. The blonde caught her watching and raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Regina tilted her head and bit her lip. She had to be careful how she worded the question if she wished to maintain the guise that she was the mayor. "Do you regret this curse? That we're stuck here, in this world? If there had been no curse, do you think you would have liked that life better?"
The corner of Emma's mouth turned up in the ghost of a smile. "I guess it would have its upsides. I would have been someone of importance you know, nobility. Life would have been... simpler in many ways, complicated in others. The grass is always greener on the other side." The look of sadness from before, at Mary Margaret's place, crossed her face once again, her hand shooting up to the pendant absentmindedly. "It doesn't really matter. Here and now, this is what we have."
"I'm sorry Emma." And she was sorry. Sorry that she couldn't save her, sorry that this had been her burden from the start and yet Emma had been the one to carry the burden. It was never meant to be like this. It was all so unfair.
Emma set the clothes on the edge of the bed and crawled across it, curling up beside Regina. "Don't be."
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Putting Henry to bed was an easier experience than Savya. The six years age difference between them made him much more calm about the process. She tucked the blanket up around him, smoothing down the creases. Then she leaned down and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. She turned for the door, flipping off the light so that only the light from the hallway illuminated the room.
"Mom?"
"Hmm?" She looked over her shoulder at him, pausing in the doorway.
"I really like having Emma here with us. Do you think she could stay here all the time?"
His little face looked so hopeful that the sight nearly broke her heart. She nodded softly. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
He nodded, appeased.
She exited the room, tears stinging her eyes as she shut the door. Her heart wrenched as she realised only one of them would get that tomorrow and as she set off down the hall towards the master suite where Emma was waiting, she couldn't decide whether she wanted it for her or for him more.
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The minutes ticked down on the bedside clock as she held a peacefully sleeping Emma Swan. She knew her time here was dwindling. She'd came here and learned what she was sure Fate had intended for her to learn, but she still felt as if she needed more time. She wanted more time, time with the son she hadn't been allowed to know, time with the woman with the scars, time with this life that a part of her had built. This was the world she had created and yet she'd only been allowed one day to live in it. It wasn't enough. She wanted more.
She felt Emma freeze against her and she knew it was time to go back. She reluctantly pulled herself from the warm body beside hers, laying the blonde softly down against the pillows. She pressed a kiss to her brow. "I'm sorry I never got to know you, Emma Swan. That is perhaps, my greatest regret." She brought her legs over the side of the bed and slipped her feet into the boots waiting for her there. She grabbed her sweater from where she'd draped it over the chair earlier, pulling it on over her pajamas. She spared one last look at the bed. She knew she'd never see it again, not as herself. She closed her eyes against the view. It was time to go.
The mirror was once again where it had been when it had brought her here this morning. She stood a few feet back from it, staring at her reflection in the pale dimness cast by the moonlight overhead. This morning, when she had come through that mirror, she had believed nothing could change her mind. Now she was leaving knowing she had seriously underestimated the life she would find here. On the other side of that glass, Fate waited, expecting an answer. And for the first time all day, Queen Regina didn't have one.
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A/N2:: i have two things of note to say, first of all being, can we just take a moment to remember update 25 (chapter 24: cause i'm a gypsy) where we first met up with savya, and remember that we also met up with hadrian's lead guard, a man named Killian, who was named and invented prior to season 2 (late june 2012 to be exact) and then all of a sudden in the show, they name captain hook Killian... coincidence, I THINK NOT! the second thing i have to say is that i personally love each and every one of you readers out there who've made this story what it is. i owe a huge hug to each of you. continue to read and review and i will do my best to keep this story coming.