Seized With Life

by Lord Malachite

Chapter 12-The aftermath of Raven's outburst finds Jinx ministering to Terra, but the blonde is happier in the realm of her fantasies than in that of the cold dark reality lying in wait for her. Meanwhile, Raven approaches Robin about a way to end the ongoing drama surrounding the raising of their daughter, Rain-if he can bear the cost. RobxRae eventual BBxTerra Updated 6/25/14

10. Pregnant Pause

Chapter Ten: Pregnant Pause

Robin paced within the claustrophobic observation area uneasily, risking a glance through the glass occasionally. Every time he did, he wished he hadn't. Seeing Raven so vulnerable and in such obvious pain angered him. Especially when there was nothing he could do about this. He couldn't protect her from what was happening, and he couldn't lay the blame at the feet of a villain. The rage he felt inside of him only grew stronger, but he tempered it carefully. The medical personnel were trying to help, and taking his anger out on them wasn't going to make their job any easier. But the worst thing for him was to feel powerless. It was a chilling reminder of when he had had to surrender to Slade, although that was such a long time ago now, and the circumstances very different. Back then, he had only done what was necessary to protect his friends.

This was completely different. There was no way to protect Raven from her own body. He understood all too well what was happening. Her reproductive system and her body had gone to war. Raven's hybrid DNA actually seemed to be working against itself, like one side of her was warring against the other. Normally, her advanced ability to heal herself protected her from the worst most villains could do. But she couldn't heal herself effectively when her own body was causing the problem. More importantly, she had explicitly told him that she would do no such thing.

The baby. Thought of it made Robin queasy. If it were able to think what would be in its thoughts at this moment? Its poor mother trying desperately to save it from her own body that was treating it like a foreign object. An invasion. The thought of it made him shiver just a bit. Life hadn't felt so fragile for one Richard Grayson since the day he lost his own parents. He had always tried to honor them with the life he had chosen since then. But Raven was fading. He knew how this would end. The decision would fall to him.

"You can come in now." The voice over the loudspeaker was soft and gentle. That instantly set him on edge. No one getting good news needed comfort. Robin had been in and out of her room more than once. He wanted to just sit at her side, but he knew his emotions made Raven's sleeps more fitful, and she needed every ounce of her energy available to keep her own body in check, to keep it from aborting her own child. "She's awake. But we'll need to sedate her again shortly."

"I understand." Robin nodded, washing up with a sealed sanitary rag in case he carried anything in his hands that might be harmful. A soft buzzer sounded and the door clicked open. His instinct was to run to the side of the woman who held his heart, who understood him better than he did himself. But Robin forced himself to keep his steps slow yet purposeful. Calm was something he knew Raven desperately needed.

The bed she was on looked like an ordinary hospital bed. Raven was propped up in a reclining position, the back half of the bed inclined. A dazed and exhausted, yet conscious Raven occupied the bed. Her eyes shut, fingers gently running along the surface of her abdomen, hair matted with sweat. "Hey." Robin said gently, trying to give her a greeting like it was any other day.

"Hey." She returned the effort, but Robin's ears could pick up the strain in her voice, which made him worry all the more.

"You're doing great." And he meant that. He couldn't blame her for this problem. Never her.

"I'm just keeping the game going." Robin heard it there. There was emotion in her voice. More than she usually let out. She was centered, not for her sake, but for that of their unborn child's."

"We'll get through this. It's alright."

"It's not alright. My body is in distress. It wants to kill my baby." Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. She was breaking down, and it hurt him so much to see her like this. He had never seen her this frightened. Not even when Slade had come to torture her with his little reminders of her purpose in life years ago. She had been scared then, yes. But that was fear for herself, fear for her friends, fear for the world. This was something she couldn't bear, he saw it in her eyes.

"There has to be a solution. We'll find it."

"Robin, I need you to understand something." Her voice darkened.

"Anything."

"Promise me. Promise me that you will not allow them to take this child away."

"Raven…I want this baby. But if it's going to kill you, I have no other choice."

"I choose the baby." Raven grit her teeth, trying to ignore a sharp pain from inside of her.

"And so do I. But if I have to choose between you and our baby, I can't let go of you. Not with everything at stake."

"Robin, if you allow this pregnancy to become a miscarriage, if you allow anyone to terminate it…if you let that happen, I will never forgive you."

"What?" He whispered, both confused and hurt.

"This baby is my chance to be normal. My child will not have to pay for the sins of either my father or me. This is my victory. And if it means I have to die, I'm ready."

"No." Robin spoke with a bit more forcefulness behind his voice than he meant to. "No, I'm not ready to lose you. Not with how far we've come."

"Would it be more comforting to know that that was the easy part?" Raven asked, letting out a sharp gasp of pain. "I wasn't cut out for this sort of thing. If I go out of this world by bringing something pure into it, then I'm alright with that."

"But I'm not. Don't talk like this. I'm not giving up on you. Either of you." Robin clarified, placing his right hand over her own that was poised just above her womb. "There has to be a way to save this baby without sacrificing you."

"There is. That's why we're having this conversation. It's a very risky surgery."

"For you?"

"For the baby too. They need to cut into my womb and fix it. Microscopically."

"Fix it?"

"For lack of a better term. My body doesn't even know what it's growing, a human, or a demon. The nutrient balance is off. The rest of my body can't recognize it and is trying to treat the baby like a foreign object."

"So they can go in your womb and…clarify things?" Robin asked.

"Yes. If successful, they can regulate the flow to that of a normal human fetus' needs. Then they'll bleed in just enough of what a demon spawn would need to keep my body and Rain's DNA satisfied."

"Did your mother have these kinds of problems?" Robin asked earnestly.

"My mother loved me. I never really asked her about my birth. Rain has only half the demonic DNA that I do, so I can only imagine that it was far worse, and her pain nearly unbearable. She chose to have me."

"I'm glad. I never realized how badly I needed to meet you all those years ago until after I did."

"And you helped me realize that if you only give some people a chance, they will accept you as you are."

"Even Beast Boy?"

"Even Beast Boy. But he is not allowed to hear that until I am dead. And worms have consumed my remains." Raven added.

"Fair enough." Robin consented, reaching up to finger a lock of her hair. "My God you're beautiful."

"I'm strapped to a hospital bed and I haven't had a proper shower in days. There are tubes going into my arms. I am not beautiful."

"You are. I'm not just saying that, Rae. You light up a room when you enter it."

Raven reached out with one of her hands to feel his forehead, wincing at the exertion. "With my sunny disposition? Robin, you're becoming delirious. And I'm the one with the fever."

"No, I'm perfectly fine. I'm just…seeing you for-" He sighed, unsure of himself.

"Robin?"

"I'm trying to put it together. I've always felt drawn to you, you know? It didn't start out as this romantic thing. We didn't have any kind of connection. But that first time we met, I knew it. You were just…all alone. So much like me. And different somehow. Those years passed, and you helped me a bit with my obsession with Slade, that time he nearly drove me insane with fear and paranoia. Then there was that nasty business with your father, and it was my turn to be there for you. And you trusted each of us somehow. Turned death into a fighting chance for life. But that wasn't enough for me. I was so determined to get you back. It was that moment that I realized you were everything. That if I could save you, I could save myself."

"You did. You saved me. I remember it very clearly."

"But that wasn't enough. I felt it then. That you were more important to me than a friend. But I didn't think you wanted this, and I cherished the place I had in your life too much to risk it. So I tried to distance myself a bit. Redoubled my efforts with Starfire. And she made it so easy. Star, she's so easy to love. She has this gorgeous naiveté to her. She sees the best in everyone. I haven't even had the courage to face her and tell her the truth. I know she'll be so hurt, and I hate the idea of her suffering, crying, knowing it was me who broke her heart. Some hero. I can't even face that sweet girl and tell her what I've done."

"Robin, if you want to be with Starfire, tell me right now-"

"No! That's just it, I don't want to be with her. I'll be honest. She's beautiful and sweet and I'm sure we could have a wonderful future together. But that's not enough for me anymore. I chose you, over and over again. I care about Star, a lot. But I was only ever just running away from myself with her, following the path of least resistance. I always knew that Starfire and I would make it. But you—there were so many scenarios in my head where we would go wrong, I didn't much dare to believe that you would even allow us to get started. But still in my heart, I chose you. I put you first. I think maybe I always have. So if I've ever given you the impression that this is just some kind of fling, something I'm only doing because Starfire is around, then let me disabuse you of that right now. I'm not looking to get out of this."

Raven sighed, shutting her eyes to stall her response, concentrating instead on her own body and the war being raged between her immune system and her reproductive system. How long could she endure without help? But what if the risk of surgery induced a miscarriage? Silently, she growled to herself. She hadn't sought out this pregnancy, yet found herself more protective of it than her own life. Strange. Likely it was simply nature—her innate desire to pass her DNA on, something embedded in all living things. And she had chosen her mate because he was an exemplary specimen, with both a strong mind and capable body whose genes would serve the child well. But that was only a small part of it. The truth was so simple, and yet so difficult. What she had really desired was a partner she could share herself with, who would not look away. Who understood what it meant to walk in the world alone. Where else could she ever have found someone who would walk the world with her and make it a little less lonely, who could share a moment without needing to say anything? It couldn't just be an accident that Robin had become her mate. It was more than a hormonal desire or a romance of convenience. It was what she had been looking for. And that was enough to nearly scare the hell out of her. Nearly, but not quite.

Opening her eyes, she looked at his expectant face, a flicker of fear seeming to trace it, as though he were on the cusp of being rejected. "What we have done, however much it means to us, is unforgivable. Starfire not only trusted her heart to you, she trusted me to look after you, that I would return you to her safely. We can never take this back."

"No, we can't." Robin nodded. "But our only other alternative is to simply run away together. And you know how much I hate to retreat. I'll take the responsibility, Raven. I have from the very first moment. Maybe since the first day we came to Gotham. I wanted you so much. It wasn't just some desperate hormonal desire, some fantasy. Night and day, I just wanted to tell you that you didn't have to be so distant, that I would understand even the darkest things you were frightened of sharing. Because I understand solitude. How much we can both crave it. And, somewhere locked away within ourselves, how much we need just one person to share it with. I don't want it to be anyone else. You're everything. And I love you. And if you feel the same way, then I'm going to spend my life trying to make you happy."

Raven's eyes started wide, in a combination of pain at the battle raging within her body, and the declaration her partner had just made to her. "You just have to pour your heart out to me when I'm lying here helpless…"

"I'm not letting go of you."

"Richard…" She hesitantly extended her right hand, brushing her fingers over his, making a slow stroking motion that he responded to by gently lacing his fingers with hers, pressing their palms together. There was a moment of surprise at his boldness, but it was almost to be expected now that she was so helpless. "I…I have never really known what it is to be happy. I've only felt contentment and satisfaction in small, momentary doses. I'm not talking about the downplaying of my emotions because of my empathy. I'm talking about never really experiencing that emotion. Joy. I have never once experienced that level of happiness. Except for a fleeting moment, when I banished my father and realized that for the first time in my existence, I had won the war. Not just a momentary victory over my background. I was now in control of my destiny. You gave me that, Richard. You and this child are my best hope for that future, that destiny that I am now free to write as I see fit. And I am trusting you in this."

"And I will uphold your trust, no matter the cost."

"Even if the cost is the shattering of her heart?" Raven asked. "She trusted you. She trusted me. We betrayed her."

"You know none of this was done to hurt Starfire."

"But that isn't enough. The shame is also mine to bear. I am not helpless. I complied in this every step of the way. Because I…I desired this."

"Maybe now isn't the best time to hash this out." Robin rubbed gently at her left wrist, feeling the restlessness inside of her war-torn body.

"We've been running away from reality for too long. We agreed to go home."

"And we will. But not like this, Raven. You need constant monitoring. Until the doctors can find a way to get your biology back in sync, or…or-"

"Or I lose the baby." She said darkly, tensing. "Not an option. I'm having this baby even if it kills me."

Robin searched her face, looking over its contours. Her eyes masked a far greater physical pain she tried to hide from him, but there was also defiance in those beautiful, amethyst orbs. "I'm worried that it might." Robin whispered, realizing they were facing a true test of their relationship.

"I know." She looked up at him, her stoic face softening. "That makes two of us."

Clenching a fist, the hero tried to make his meaning clearer. "I love you. I know I don't say it much, and I don't show it well. And I know you don't like it when I'm direct about these things."

"I accept your feelings. And I reciprocate as much as I am able to. You understand I may never be able to do so in the way you would prefer."

"I know. I don't need any of that. Not when I have you. You show me, every day. In your own way."

"But we have someone else to consider now. We're having a baby. This is something that happens, and I refuse to believe it's just one of those things, some kind of coincidence, some random chance. At times I wonder if it was…intentional."

"You mean like we somehow planned this?"

"I was aggressive in the lovemaking in which this child was conceived. My body desired it. I felt it at the time. This was more than just simple lust in the heat of the moment. I believe that I may have allowed the reproductive desires of my demon half to overcome my more cognitive humanity. It's a little unsettling, actually. To realize that I may have acted purely on impulse and instinct regarding such a serious matter."

"And I definitely could have been more careful." Robin added.

"Perhaps. But I didn't want you to be. I remember that. Perhaps I am a little like my father after all."

"No, I don't believe that. A creature as selfish and cruel as Trigon would never put himself at risk for a baby. You're so much better than that. You're everything. Don't you see? When I was still only a boy, after my parents were gone, I asked God for help. I wasn't even sure if I believed in him. I still can't be certain either way. But I asked for someone to guide me. To keep me from losing myself. And that's when Bruce came. And he did exactly that, for years. He guided me, molded me. And eventually I grew old enough that I had to become my own man. But Bruce never left me, even when our differences became to great. I chose to leave him, because it was time for me to become my own man. On occasion, I regret it. But that is the price for my freedom, my desire to forge my own path. But God, or Fate, or Time, or…whatever, it sure wasn't done with me yet. I didn't stop to realize it. But you were sent too. To be different than Bruce. To guide me to be myself. And to show me that there was someone out there who understands what it means to be alone, to be different, to stand by yourself. And I'm not letting go of you, Raven."

The Boy Wonder stopped, abruptly, as though he had no more to say. He looked his partner over, her weakened form still heaving slightly as her body struggled against itself. She struggled in vain to find some kind of appropriate response. She was aware enough to understand that this was Robin's way of making a declaration to her. And every response she could come up with felt flippant or dismissive. Why did words have to be so complicated yet so imprecise? Why couldn't she get comfortable with the idea of letting someone else in? It was more than simple fear. She had given him permission to her private chambers, her bed and her body, her thoughts. But she was still stubborn to share those darkest parts of herself. The side of her she controlled and denied, but could not stop from being a part of her. There was evil within her. It was contained and subdued, but it would always be a part of her. A part she still feared he might reject, and the thought frightened her. Every time she failed to share that aspect of herself, it prolonged a lie that their relationship was being built on. But the stubbornness within her, coupled with the fear, overcame her rational knowledge that the longer she waited, the worse it would be. "I'm not asking you to." Her eyes darted back up towards his, a gentle squeeze of her fingers within his.

"You need your rest, Rae."

She nodded, knowing it was all too true. It was a constant difficulty, slipping into healing trances to keep her body from collapsing, but not allowing it the strength to make a dedicated assault on the fetus it so wanted to reject. "Stay just another few minutes. If anything happens…"

"I won't allow anything to happen." Robin insisted.

"Even so, I want to sleep remembering why I chose this."

"Don't talk like that. It isn't you, Raven. Don't talk like you're going to die. You're going to outlive us all, puttering around that tower by yourself and complaining our baby doesn't bring your grandchildren around often enough."

"You have a…unique vision of the future." She whispered. "But if you really love me, save this baby. This may be the greatest thing I ever do. If I lose it, Trigon wins. Don't ever let that happen…" Her voice weakened, and Robin watched her eyes slowly shut, as her body began to focus more on protecting its precious cargo from her immune system.

Robin dropped to his knees, still clinging to her hand. He ran his free arm across his mask to temper his frustration. It was so disconcerting to watch Raven like this, so weakened and fragile. After all of the things he had seen her live through, all she had suffered and persevered over, her entire life was being defined by a single event again. Last time, it had been her father and the terrible prophecy of her birth. Now, it was this pregnancy. Life could be so cruel.

Planting a kiss on her forehead, he rose to his feet, reluctantly leaving the side of his mate only because he knew she needed the rest, the feel of her sweaty fingers slipping from his own, the fever in her body making them feel so hot to the touch. Almost involuntarily, he could feel his own hands balling into fists, longing for something he could fight, that the situation would manifest itself in a manner he could actually protect her from. But all he could do was wait, and he found himself leaving the intensive care area and sitting in one of the chairs in the observation room, bowing his head.

"Look, God. I don't know if you're there or not. I mean, I haven't had a lot of good in my life. I've never been one of those religious people. I used to think that everything happened for a reason, some reason. Then I spent enough times with the Batman fighting off criminals like The Joker. And you come to realize that sometimes, things just happen. Maybe there isn't some grand kind of plan for the universe. And then I'm forced to wonder when I became so significant in this universe as to question whether there is a plan or not. But I don't know what else I can do. So I'm going to pray. I'm not going to make some kind of bargain, some promise I could never live up to. I'm just going to ask. If you're up there, save her. I know she's different. I know she's not even entirely human. But even that's a lie. That heart and soul of hers, it's one of the most human I've ever encountered, and when we're together, I feel like my heartbeat falls into sync with hers. I never planned on being happy. And maybe that's why you sent her to me. We've done so little, we have so much farther to go. Don't take her away now. And while you're at it, could you please give that baby of ours your protection. I want it. I'll do everything I can to be a father worthy of that child. Please don't take what we made away." He squeezed his hands together tightly, providing an outlet for his mental stress. "I know I'm asking a lot and maybe I'm not even worthy, but I do what I can to make this world a better place. I put it all on the line for her once. It can't be for nothing, I'm begging you, don't make it all have been for nothing."

Throwing his head back, Robin ended his plea to higher forces. There was no telling whether any existed to hear them, and assuming they did, that they would even grant his request. Maybe prayer was only a refuge of the damned, but he'd take anything he could get at the moment. Soon enough, he suspected one of the surgeons was going to consult him about the surgery Raven had mentioned. But until then, the waiting was insufferable. Wiping at his brow, Robin pulled the Communicator from his belt. He didn't want to do this, but he had to talk to someone. And there was only one person left he could confide in at the moment.

XoXo

The communicator lying on the nightstand made its sing-song tones, over and over, and the blonde girl who owned it moaned, groping around for the source of the noise. Some part of her brain running on autopilot groped indeterminably at the nightstand, and after about six chirps, the offending object somehow found its way into her hands. "The Tower had better be on fire…" She groaned and as she finally accepted the call, her voice raspy and laden with sleep.

"God I hope not, Raven and I need a place to come home to sooner or later."

"Robin?!" Terra rubbed at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I know what time it is. It's just…I've got this problem, and I can't talk to Raven about it because she's…indisposed. And I really can't talk to Starfire, though I should. So I figured…you know me pretty well and all, because of…what we share."

Terra drew herself up to a sitting position, pushing some of her covers down. "You're going to expect me to be awake for this conversation, aren't you?"

"It would kinda help. I'm sorry to bother you-"

"You are not a bother. Never that." She sniffed, wiping at her face, pulling her nightshirt down. "I always have an ear for you. You've been there for me so many times."

"Thanks. I-I'm in deep, Terra. I don't know what to do."

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. And more importantly, neither is Raven."

"You guys are hurt? Or…or…"

"No. No, not that. It's just…"

"Robin?"

"Raven. She's pregnant."

"…"

"Terra?"

"You're serious?"

"Yeah."

"How could you have let this happen? Geez, when I nudged you towards her years ago, I didn't mean push her down and knock her up!"

"It wasn't like that. At all. It was…ah, I could keep you up all night trying to describe it. Besides, that's not why I called."

"Go on."

"It's…not going well for her. She's in jeopardy of losing the baby. And it's dangerous to her. But she won't let it go. Even if it kills her."

"Oh no…"

"And I have to decide, what to do. Any minute now, a surgeon is going to come in here and consult me. Tell me the options. Tell me I have to make a choice. It may be possible to save the baby, but it could be dangerous. I could lose Raven. And she won't let me take any other action. She just told me that if I allow anyone to take her baby away, she'll never forgive me. I don't know who I can turn to. Raven knows me best, but she's made it clear what she expects me to do. And I just can't tell Starfire. Not now. Not like this. She's going to find out eventually, but I don't want it to be this way. She deserves better than that, better than some breakup by phone. I owe her a real explanation, I owe her the chance to strike me for what I've done to her. But you…Terra you've been in my head, you know me. I trust you."

The blonde felt a lump forming in her throat. "I've missed you so much…" She felt tears forming behind her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I won't be gone forever, I promise."

Terra shook her head, feeling so much smaller and more vulnerable. "I still remember, those awful days after I got my memories back. I tried to make you kill me…"

"Hey, now, come on, that's over."

"…what I remember most, though, is how scared I was to sleep after that. Scared that I would try to make you do something again, scared of how every time I slept, all I could see and hear were people I'd hurt, I'd killed, over and over…" She sniffled.

Robin found himself taking a breath. He'd called for her advice, and only wound up upsetting this fragile girl. He should have known better. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disturbed you."

"No…I'm not done. Please. I'm…I'm remembering this for a reason. Hear me out."

"Terra…"

"You never let go of me. You held me in your arms and rocked me, shushed me, soothed me…I had forgotten what it was like to feel something like that. You stayed with me each night, until I would fall asleep." Terra wiped the tears from her eyes. "And that was the first time I really felt love, like I was wanted—not because I could be used, but that someone just thought I was a life worth saving. I was so convinced I was too far gone, that I couldn't be saved. You were right, all those years ago when I made you my enemy. I had to save myself."

"I knew you would. Even during the worst of times, I knew there had to be some way to reach you."

"I dreamed of you. When you rocked me to sleep. And I knew nothing bad would happen. I wouldn't wake up, unable to remember what I might have done, who I might have hurt. In your arms, I knew I was safe. And that the world was safe from me. And that piece of you that has been in my head ever since sheltered me from my demons, made me see that no matter my past, I didn't have to be tied to it. Because of that, I found the strength to keep on living. And I will always love you for that."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do. It's not some obligation I feel. It's my heart screaming in my chest. Please don't ask me to deny those feelings—better to ask me to live without breathing. I love you. Maybe it isn't right, maybe it isn't what was meant to be, but I do. And I'm okay with it. This is what I've come to accept while you've been gone. I have to be okay with my feelings, or I'll never allow myself to feel anything else. If I try to hide them, deny them, then I'll never be able to come to terms with them, be able to let anyone else in. So I love you, and I accept that that's as far as it goes. You'll always be with me, so I'm never really without you."

"And you're okay with that? Even if…"

"Yes." She interrupted him, sniffling. "I'll be okay, Robin. I mean it. Now, this is the real question. Do you love her? Do you love Raven?"

"You know better than I do." He told her. "You showed me the feelings I had for her."

"That's not true. You always knew. I just put you in touch with them. So if you love her, Robin, then don't let her go. Don't ever let her go!"

"What if this surgery hurts her? What if it-?"

"Trust her." Terra whispered. "She's trusting you. She's trusting you to honor her wishes. She won't leave her baby so easily, not if she wants it this badly. Do what you have to do, for both of them. And when it's over, be happy as a family, okay?"

"Thank you." Robin breathed, clutching the communicator more tightly in his hand. "I'm so sorry, Terra. I never wanted to make you suffer anymore."

"I'm not suffering." She sniffed, knowing she couldn't be putting on a very believable front with her tears. "Robin, don't you understand? I didn't even know what love was until you. You're the reason I'm able to love today. And if the price for that is something I can't share with you, so bet it. I love you, but my heart isn't broken. Because I want you to be happy. And if Raven can make you happy, then I'd give you up to her a thousand times over, and still consider it the least I can do."

"You deserved so much better from me."

"I've already got the best of you." Terra whispered. "Asking for the rest would just be unfair. You're a wonderful man. And I will spend the rest of my life just trying to be worthy of the gifts you've given me. So don't feel sorry for me, okay? Please don't. I'm happy for you, Robin. You're going on an adventure that is going to give you so much. I wouldn't ask you to trade that for anything."

"And you were worried you weren't worthy. You're a class act, Terra."

"I learned from the best." She said earnestly. "Save them both. And be so, so happy."

"When this is done, we'll come home, okay? I won't abandon you."

"There's still someone who looks after me." She smiled. "I think I can finally learn to let him in now. If he doesn't mind sharing my heart, anyway."

"Who would?" Robin asked rhetorically, encouraging her. "Anyone who earns the smallest fraction of your heart lives a life of privilege. Thank you."

Terra nodded, her golden locks bouncing. "Thank you. I know I keep saying it, but…I love you. So pass it on. If you want to do something for me, then tell Raven you love her? Tell that baby growing inside her."

"I'll do you one better. I'll make sure she knows."

"Then you'll have nothing to fear. Good luck!" Terra stared after his face as it winked out on the communicator, tracing the tips of her fingers against the screen. "Be happy." She whispered, letting the device fall to her bed. It was so strange. Her entire body felt this wave of relief that she had confronted her own feelings and realized in doing so that she could live without her savior, as long as he accepted her as she was, she could live without being able to sleep next to him every night. Robin was happy, if not frightened for his mate, and the feeling in her gut was one of relief. And yet, tears continued to stream down her face. "I just wish it wasn't so complicated." She sniffed, burying her face in her hands. "Come on, Terra, you can do this. For him, for yourself."

If our love is tragedy
Why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity

Why are you my clarity?

She remembered reading in the paper how some woman had once assaulted a local deejay at the radio station, insisting he was playing songs about her. Fortunately, the situation never got out of hand. Kid Flash had gotten there in plenty of time to keep the situation from getting violent, not to mention furthering a name for himself as one of Jump City's finest protectors. Still, in that moment, the song wouldn't get out of her head, and Terra wondered if it had been written specifically for her. "If you pull then I'll push too deep, and I'll fall right back to you." She whispered, mouthing the lyrics. "If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

It took her several minutes to get composed, but when she did, the feeling that her world wasn't ending was a joy in and of itself. There were no more tears to cry. Getting up, she ran to her bathroom and washed her face to remove any tearstains, stepping into a pair of slippers and leaving her bedroom, moving only a few doors beyond her own. Her right hand came up to ring the door chime, but she hesitated, then punched in an access code, granting herself entrance to the resident changeling's private quarters.

Beast Boy was actually curled up in his bed looking exactly like a cat—no small feat seeing as how he was currently in his normal, humanoid form. She approached quietly, brushing his catlike hair with her fingertips, a motion which immediately caused his eyes to flutter open.

"Move over." Terra commanded, and Garfield began to rub at his eyes.

"Whoa. Is this a dream?"

In response, Terra pushed, making herself a space on the small bed, hugging herself tightly, her back pressed against him. "Do you remember when I came back?" She asked. "How you would sit next to me at night, waiting for me to come out of my coma?"

"Yeah, I remember. I didn't think you would? You were really out of it."

"But when I did wake up, it wasn't your arms I ran to."

"I…" His face appearing crestfallen, he looked down at the blanket, away from her. "Yeah."

"I was never rejecting you, BB." She sniffed, reaching out to him. "I just…felt so safe with him. Because he was with me, when it all happened. In his arms, nothing bad could ever happen to me…"

"I guess it's only natural. S'okay. I'd rather see you with Robin then have lost you."

"I know. But that's not what I'm here for. He held me for as long as he could. And I love him, God help me."

"I know. But I'd still rather lose you like this, then have you lost forever. You're back. It's not so bad, losing you to a guy like him."

"No, that's just it. He doesn't love me. He loves someone else."

"It's cool. You don't have to try and make me feel better about it. I'm not happy about it, or anything, but I'm just glad you're here, Terra."

"Stop talking." Terra whispered, turning around. She placed her hands on his shoulders, bring her lips to his cheek. "Listen." She whispered in between flash-kisses. "You've always been there for me. And all this time, I've never really let you in. And it wasn't that I didn't like you. Back in that time, when I was Slade's apprentice, you were the one thing I never had to lie about. And I've just been so messed up since. I didn't mean for this thing to happen between Robin and I. And neither did he. But it's done. And I want him to be happy. I've never had anyone do what he has for me. And the part that hurts is I know that you would have. I know it. And in spite of these complicated feelings, you are not unworthy. Far from it. And lost somewhere inside of me is what we once shared. I betrayed it because I was so afraid of myself, of Slade. I'm not afraid anymore, BB." Her voice hitched, and she clutched at him tightly, pressing him against herself as hard as she could. "I think my heart can have room for more than one person. I don't know what will happen. And I know I can't just stop feeling for him. But Robin is happy. He found what he was looking for. And the funny thing is, I'm not sad. I'm so, so happy for him. I know what my heart wants, but I think…I think even more than that, it just wants to know that he's happy. So would you like to try? Will you put up with me?"

"Put up with you?"

"I know it won't be easy."

"I seem to recall being told by a mutual friend of ours to take it one day at a time with you."

"Today's a new day." Terra whispered. "And every day thereafter." She brushed her lips against his, her hair briefly flaring around them.

"I'm warning you, I'm gonna keep trying to make you happy, Terra."

"You make me smile. That's a really good start." She leaned forward with her weight, pushing them down against the mattress. "Hold me, okay? Until I fall asleep?"

"Until you wake up." He smiled, stroking her long, blonde tresses as she burrowed her face into his chest, her right arm coming up to scratch behind his ear, inhaling his scent.

"You're a good man." She yawned, drinking in his warmth. She felt the only response she needed when his arms encircled her body, his eyes shutting dreamily as he held in his arms the only woman he felt could ever hold his heart.

XoXo

Starfire sat hunched up in her bed, her knees tucked into her chest as she stared at the blankness of her communicator, the bright light from its empty white screen bathing her in illumination. Jinx stirred in the bed across from hers slightly, an annoyed expression on her face. "Go to sleep, Princess." The young witch commanded, but the alien shook her head sadly.

"I cannot. I had thought that Robin was trying to reach me."

"At three-thirty in the morning?" Jinx cocked an eyebrow, yawning.

"Apologies. I did not mean to awaken you."

"I used to live with five idiotic teenage boys. Trust me, I learned to sleep with one-eye open. Attempting to raid my panty drawer was like their number one hobby outside of video games and pigging out. At least a girl can get some privacy around here!"

"Mmm.."

"Are you even listening?"

"…."

Jinx palmed her face. "Silkie's talked to me about getting his own place, really spreading his wings, get to know the nightlife scene."

"I see." Starfire said absently. "Why does Robin not call?"

"He's probably getting his beauty sleep. Although in his case, I guess that's only a metaphor. Then again, he is in Gotham. So he might be waist deep in human scum right now and can't come to the phone."

"But it has been over a grantorp since we last spoke! He would not be taking this long! Something is wrong!" Starfire rose to her feet in a flash, stamping her foot. "I must go to the City of Gotham and save Robin!"

Jinx scratched her head. "Or, you could just try calling him. It's the twentieth century. I know you didn't grow up on Earth, but it's not unusual for a girl to call up a guy nowadays."

The redhead started, as though such an idea had not even occurred to her. "I had not considered this option."

"You know, if you're lonely, I'm sure the two of us could scare up some pretty fine dates. Trust me, if I don't make Kid Flash appreciate what he has, he'll look for another soul to save. I mean, Rob's an okay guy and all, but you could do better."

"But Friend Robin and I are locked within the fifth stages of Tamaranian courtship rites. I would not engage in social activities outside the range of friendship with another male until at least stage seventeen."

"And exactly how many stages are there?"

"It can depend on the province, but the most widely accepted customs have twenty-eight. Although there was once a feud between noble families during the Groq'tor period about the interpretation of the nineteenth stage, which lasted until Chruk'thol the Fearless decreed…"

"I'm sorry I asked." Jinx rolled her eyes.

"It is no trouble. I am grateful to share my culture with others."

"Yeah. About that, look, men aren't that complicated, Starfire. They're actually pretty stupid when you get right down to it. They'd be lost without us. But it's more than that." She hesitated, realizing she was about to talk about herself. She hated talking about herself. A lengthy childhood in the H.I.V.E. Academy had taught her that the more others knew about her, the easier it was to defeat her. And Jinx knew all too well that that wasn't something from the villain handbook—it was an undeniable fact of life. Still, she was among friends here. "You want to know what always keeps me coming back to Kid Flash?"

"It might indeed be helpful to better understand the romantic feelings of others."

"Alright then." Jinx sighed, feeling a little uncomfortable but knowing she was being foolish. "It's just…I'm used to getting my way, you know? I've always had to push other people to get results, been surrounded by people that really weren't at my level. But Kid Flash isn't like that. I can't control him. And it really irritates the hell out of me!" She snarled, running her hands through her hair in a flurry. "The thing of it is, I can't control him. And as frustrating as that is, there's this other part of me that finds it really hot." Her cheeks flushed at her words, the thought making some kind of damnable flame course through her. "And if you ever tell him I said that, I'll put a hex on you so fierce you'll have to break thirteen mirrors while walking beneath thirteen ladders while thirteen black cats cross your path, on Friday the thirteenth, just to make yourself less unlucky!"

"I would never betray your feelings, Friend Jinx. This is like, the sisterly bonding, yes? Only perhaps better because my own sister has been known to be treacherous and deceitful."

"Yeah, unlike me." Jinx smirked. "You know, that can be one of the hardest things about being good. I was so awesome at treachery and deceit."

"I prefer you the way you are now."

"Oddly enough, I think I do too."

Starfire's wastefully cheerful smile for her friend soon faded. "You are better experienced in Earth's courtship rites. Why would Robin not contact me for so long a time?"

"Oh come on, Princess, he'll call. He's probably locked up in a lab somewhere, analyzing evidence in some big case. I know it's annoying, but you can't expect men to be attentive to your needs all the time. Oh, they should be, don't get me wrong. But like I said, they're stupid." Jinx took the communicator from Starfire's hand, setting it aside. Come on, let's go get some chocolate. If we're going to be up this late, or early, it can't be for nothing."

"But what of Robin."

"If he doesn't call you by tomorrow, then you call him. Okay?"

The alien's green eyes seemed to shimmer brightly with tears, and Jinx offered a prayer to any god or devil that would stop Starfire from crying—she couldn't stand it when the girl cried, as she could be so emotional. "Starfire? Come on now, don't be like that. We—we can bring Silkie!" The pale girl ran to get the troublesome larvae, suppressing a shudder as she was forced to choose between picking it up, or dealing with a crying Tamaranian. Her need for sanity outweighed her intolerance for grossness, and she half carried, half cradled Silkie in her dress, proffering it to the orange-skinned beauty.

Starfire took her surrogate child happily in her arms, sniffling as she rocked it back and forth. "Yes, you are right. I will contact Robin tomorrow." The strength that the alien used to squeeze the larvae never seemed to amaze the witch, considering how Silkie never seemed to be harmed. In a way, it was as though the two of them were made for one another.

"Alright then. Now for some chocolate. My one true weakness." Jinx chuckled to herself. But it was hard to keep up with Starfire's pace, as she had already lifted herself a few inches from the ground, freeing herself from the confines of gravity, speeding ahead of her friend. "Someday she's going to have to teach me how to do that." Jinx shrugged, running after the redhead.

XoXo

"Hey, Flash, you awake?" Asked Cyborg, his cybernetic eye coming to life, as though struck by a sudden thought.

"I am now." The lightning fast hero responded groggily from his corner of the oversized living space. Sometimes, he wondered how he had allowed Jinx to talk him into living in such a tiny area. Not that his roommate was intentionally cruel, but Cyborg required a lot of noisy machinery to recharge, machinery that took up space and he was only just learning to allow its rhythmic humming to lull him to sleep at night.

"You ever wonder why we don't have any late night, heart-to-heart conversations?" Cyborg asked, turning his head to look in Kid Flash's direction.

Something like a groan escaped Flash's lips, longing for a return to the embrace of unconsciousness. "Because we're heterosexual men?"

"That's a big ten-four good buddy." The burly hero chuckled, feeling himself slipping into yet another recharge cycle.

"Glad we cleared that up." Kid Flash rolled over in his bunk, tucking the sheets over his head.

XoXo

"Sleep tight." Robin said, lingering on the face of the blonde girl he was forever bonded to for a moment before terminating the connection. "I love you too, Terra." He said to himself, putting the communicator away. "I just hope you find the happiness you deserve." He stood up, walking out an adjacent door that lead into the hallway, proceeding to the central Nurses' station. "Tell Doctor Jacoby no consultation. We'll risk the surgery. She wants the baby."

"You'll still need to speak with the surgeon and sign the paperwork." Lisa, the nurse on duty, responded automatically. "And, if you don't mind my saying so, you shouldn't waive the consultation. There will be risks to both that beautiful young woman and the baby."

"I know. But this is what she wants. I have to try. Trust me—Raven and I have been through death and life together. She won't give up."

"Stubborn patients seem to be drawn to my operating table." Dr. Jacoby sounded, appearing from the staff kitchen behind the Nurse's station. "I'll take it from here, Lisa."

Robin extended a hand, accepting a limp handshake from the surgeon assigned to their case—ordinarily he might consider it a sign of disrespect, but he knew from experience that a surgeon had to be extremely careful with their hands, or it might affect their ability to operate steadily. "She's a fighter. Before drifting back into unconsciousness, she threatened me. Apparently terminating the pregnancy isn't an option, or I terminate any chance of living happily ever after with her."

"As long as you understand the risks. The chances aren't altogether grim, however. Step into my office, I'll go over her chart and try to explain what we need to do."

Robin pressed his gloved hands together. "Knowledge is a powerful ally, let's go."

"This may seem like an intrusive question, but has this young woman had any prior pregnancies, failed or otherwise?"

"I don't think so. Definitely none carried to term, I've known her for years. I'm pretty certain that she's never had an abortion or a miscarriage. I'm not even certain she's been very sexually active. But, Raven is a private person. What she does on her own time is her business."

"But to your knowledge, this is her first pregnancy."

"I'd be pretty surprised to find out otherwise. You think it isn't?" Robin raised an eyebrow over his mask.

"It's possible, but I'd rather just show you the charts. Your girlfriend has quite the intimidating physiology. Fortunately, Gotham General has played host to more than one, shall we say, special case over the years. I'm sure we can help." Doctor Jacoby entered his office, lighting flickering on automatically. He pulled an oversized manila folder off of his desk. "These are the X-Rays we took of Raven a few hours ago. They're not as clear as I would like, but we were concerned that with the issues her body is dealing with, the position we would need for a proper MRI might only further increase the chances of a miscarriage. Still, the problem seems simple enough. I'm afraid it's the solution that will prove difficult."

The doctor placed the X-Rays on a large display, flipping the backlight on with a switch. "Her reproductive system doesn't seem to know what it's growing. If you look at this raised area here, compared with a similar one from below, that's where the trouble lies." He explained, using a small blackboard pointer to indicate the areas he was emphasizing.

"Okay, and what am I looking at?"

"From what I can tell, this developing fetus actually has two placentas."

"How?"

"As nearest as I can tell without doing invasive surgery, it's as though she actually has two reproductive systems fighting over the same uterus. One of them is supplying normal nutrients and blood to nurture a developing human baby. This other one, the wider one, presumably is trying to do something similar, only it's trying to develop a little baby demon. The two are competing with each other, and so Raven's immune system is treating the fetus less like a developing baby, and more like a foreign body to be expelled."

"So what do we do to fix this?" Robin felt his fist clenching. There was a battle going on inside the body of the woman he loved, and there was still nothing he could really do about it. It was infuriating.

"It may be possible to cut the extra placenta off. without damaging the fetus. The bigger problem is that the child would still be in danger. The mother is half-demon. With you the father, that means your child would still be a full one-quarter demon. Those aspects of her DNA will very likely require different nutrients, different building blocks. If we cut off the demonic umbilical cord, there is still a great risk that this child won't develop properly."

"Is there anything we can do about that? Some kind of supplement Raven can take?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I could fix that surgically, but it's much more invasive. It's like lifting the engine out of a car and reconfiguring it while the car is still running. I'm afraid in her condition, we could lose both the mother and the baby. We're talking about splicing the two sides to her reproductive system together so they function in unison to make a healthy baby. If you two were just trying to get pregnant, I could do it. I would say you'd need to wait eight to twelve months to be certain her womb had healed properly and could support a developing life, but overall I'd say it wouldn't be a terrible risk. But with this young lady already pregnant, there's a good chance this could still cause her body to terminate the pregnancy. Or that something might go wrong and slowly starve the fetus. I would rather not be responsible for either outcome."

"And if we do nothing?" Robin asked.

Doctor Jacoby shook his head. "I'm afraid you'll lose the child for certain. She cannot carry on as she is now for months. The stress will tear her apart, and with each passing day she struggles like this, the more duress her body is under, the more stress for that developing child. To put a point on it, doing nothing will only accomplish one thing. Changing the date on the termination of this pregnancy. I understand there are serious emotions here, but Raven is ultimately my patient. I have to do what's best for her."

"And I can't let you take this pregnancy away without trying, doctor. Raven is strong. We have to try. I know it may just sound like words to you, but that girl isn't leaving this world without one hell of a fight. She wants this baby so badly. And so do I."

"And nothing would make me happier, but the risk…what you're asking could be considered a violation of my Hippocratic Oath."

"No, it won't. She'll be okay. Because I'm going to lend her my strength. Just prep for surgery and give me a few minutes. I guarantee you she'll be strong enough."

"What do you intend to do?"

"Just trust me. That girl and I share a bond. I can help her. You'll see. Make your preparations, and I'll make sure she's stable and healthy enough to do this. You don't have to take my word for it—I guarantee her readings will be stable."

Robin turned and walked out of the office, almost dismissing the surgeon. He hoped he hadn't come across as arrogant—it was not his intention to alienate the good doctor. But if this was going to have any chance of working, he had to be there for Raven now more than ever.

The Boy Wonder tore into the ICU, mashing his hands against the release button for sanitizing agent as the doors parted. As quickly as he could, he navigated the small maze of gurneys and stations until locating the one that Raven was lying on, breathing fitfully, her eyes screwed shut in concentration. "Raven." He whispered, pulling a chair next to her bed, reaching for her hand. "Rae, I know you're fighting, but I need you for a minute. I think I've got a plan."

There seemed to be a bit of struggle in her visage, but her eyes opened, the amethyst irises looking faint from exertion. "I'm all ears, Boy Wonder."

"Good, because I'm about to earn that name."

"And to think, all I had to do was get knocked up and in danger or losing my life." She coughed, but the way her fingers laced through his betrayed her gratitude.

"You know us guys, we're so difficult to get through to." Robin smirked, brushing his free hand against her forehead, pushing stray violet locks of hair aside. "You and I, we have a bond, back to when you went inside my head all those years ago, when Slade was striking out at me from the grave. But we might have to go further."

"That's just an echo. If we had forged a deeper bond then, the darkness inside of me might have consumed you, Robin. I could not have risked that, not when I couldn't be certain I could protect you."

"Then I hope that's no longer an issue."

"With my father gone, and the prophecy finished, there's less danger. I am what I am, Robin. I can't change that."

"I wouldn't want you too. But can you bond with me differently?"

"Differently? How differently?"

"I'll give you my strength. I know you need all of yours and then some to protect the baby. If you take my strength, I think you can survive the surgery and keep our baby alive. Can it be done?"

"Yes." Raven said without hesitation. "But for too prolonged a time, it will put you at risk.

"Better me than you or the baby. Unless you know of a better way."

"Let's not kid ourselves. If we do nothing, I lose the baby. I can't keep this up forever."

"That's what Doctor Jacoby said." Robin added. "So let's do this. Take my strength. As much as you need. I can take it."

"You might regret saying that. You're going to feel my pain as well if you do this, Robin."

"You said something similar to me the first time we kissed."

"And the lights exploded one by one." She nodded, remembering. "You seemed to enjoy making that happen. But this is different. I link to you to draw on your strength, and you'll feel my body's distress. And I am in great distress, Robin."

"All the more reason to give you a break. Just promise me you'll come through this. You've been toughing this out for day, I can survive a few hours. Let's have a baby, Raven. Together."

"Sweet talker." The sorceress responded, squeezing her fingers within his. "Alright, Boy Wonder, you're on. Let's have a baby."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Cyborg stood up from the couch, unsatisfied. "Hold you. You can't just end that story like that!"

"Like what?" Raven asked.

"You have to tell us what happened!"

Raven exchanged a look with her mate, furrowing her brow. "Well, we're both here. And so is Rain. So I figured the rest is self-explanatory."

"So this thing worked?"

Raven massaged her temples. "Unfortunately, I'm wearing a leotard presently, so I'm afraid I can't offer proof. But trust me. I have the scars to prove it. One from the surgery, and an exceptionally lovely one from the C-section they gave me to get you out of there." Raven smirked, brushing a hand across her daughter's black locks.

"Unreal." Terra shook her head. "Do you hear that, Rain? Your mommy and daddy went through all that just to have you."

Seemingly cognizant of her name, Rain cocked her head, sticking out her tongue at Terra and making a noise that seemed to be quite hilarious to her. "Oh yeah." Raven murmured. "I just feel the love and appreciation."

"Give you any ideas, Terra?" Beast Boy asked, making eyes at her.

"Yes. To invest in a diaphragm." The blonde's eyes went wide, looking horrified at the thought of her stomach inflating like a balloon.

"That only works if you use it." Raven warned.

Starfire leaped up, expressing confusion. "Wait, I am not understanding. Is a diaphragm not part of the vocal system? How is one able to use it to prevent the onset of reproduction?"

"Say what?" Beast boy asked, scratching his head.

Terra looked as though she were about to turn as green as Beast Boy, and her hand desperately sought the Tamaranian's orange arm. "I-I'll tell you later, Starfire."

"Thank you, Friend Terra. I would not want to do anything unsafe." The comment caused ripples of giggling to take over the common room, and even Raven was forced to find her funny bone tickled, a smile creeping across her face. "Have I said something humorous?" Starfire blinked, confused.

Cyborg slapped the alien on the back with a boisterous guffaw. "Starfire, you're a real cut up."

"I am?" She asked, inspecting her outfit. "I am unable to find any tears or cuts in my uniform. My earth slang is still behind. Krebble-nebbitz!" She growled, pounding her right fist into the palm of her left hand.

"Hey, it's cool Starfire. We'll catch you up."

"But I wish to understand from the beginning." The red-haired woman lamented. "English does not seem to merge as well with Tamaranian as other earth languages."

Robin couldn't resist a chuckle. "Starfire, English doesn't get along well with other languages here on earth. The fact that you speak it as well as you do is rather impressive."

"You are impressed?" She asked, her green eyes blinking hopefully.

"Sure am. You should be proud of how well you speak it just from that one kiss when we first met." He blushed slightly.

"A shame I can't teach you ancient languages in a similar manner." Raven sighed in contentment, leaning herself slightly against her lover. It was rather unusual for Raven to stoop to even that level of public display, but there it was, likely due to the memories and emotions her story doubtlessly welled up within her, not to mention the earlier frightening situation with Rain in the mirror, and Robin wouldn't be surprised to know that his complimenting of Starfire likely evoked a jealous streak within the sorceress. And pushing Raven outside of her comfort zone was one of his favorite activities. It was a calculated risk, but he reached up to twirl several strands of her hair with his finger, an act that seemed to make her start for a second, but she chose to let it pass rather than make a scene.

"I am most grateful for your patience." Starfire half-bowed, then proceeded to grab the Tower's resident half-mechanical man in a hug. "You are most knowledgeable in these things, Cyborg. You will teach me?"

"Well, I don't know about that. I've got a lot of work to do in the garage, and-"

"But I will endeavor to learn very quickly!" Starfire pleaded, remembering a trick Jinx had once taught her involving using a certain movement of her hair to obtain favors from men. Recalling how it was performed, she whipped her head in a fast motion, flipping her fiery red mane to give it a bouncing motion, while adding the mandatory rapid blinking of her eyes in a widened state for the desired coquettish effect.

"Oh come on, this isn't fair!" Cyborg complained, wilting under the beauty's assault. Pressing her advantage, Starfire used her finishing move, a pout that had been known to break even Raven's resolve on occasion. "Oh, all right, fine, just stop making that face! Please?" Cyborg begged, and was rewarded by one of the alien's signature glomps, his circuits protesting the force exerted on them.

"Wondrous! When my training is complete, I shall prepare a feast to celebrate our success."

"I can't wait." Cyborg muttered under his breath, deciding that he was starting to miss the years when enduring Starfire's cultural foods and practices was Robin's problem. "How do I get dragged into these things?"

"Please! Let us begin! I am most eager to learn." The redhead begged, pulling on her friend.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Cyborg relented, being half-dragged by Starfire's superior strength towards the staircase.

"Raven, what about you?" Robin asked, watching the other two go. "Do you still need to meditate?."

"We need to make sure Rain is safe before I can concentrate on that. For now, I'm just going to start covering up mirrors in our apartment."

"And BB and I will do our rooms so we can baby-sit." Terra volunteered.

The changeling sulked. "Yeah, as long as I don't have to clean."

"About that." Terra grinned. "I think it's time you did your laundry. I had to wade through an ocean of your clothes this morning, that's got to change if you want me to keep sleeping over." She chided.

"Can't I just sleep in your room instead?"

"Not until I can trust you to treat it like my room—neat." Terra stuck out her tongue.

"You're harshing me? So uncool—and I'm even picking up some hours at the salad bar next week so we can afford to go out!"

"If you wash your clothes, I'll fold them. But only when they're washed, dried, and have passed my inspection."

"Aww man…" Beast Boy whined. "This is such a waste of a perfectly good weekend."

"Hey, we're supposed to set a good example for Rain. Raven depends on us, right?" Terra asked, turning her head towards the goth.

"Yes." Raven responded. "However, training Beast Boy is a far more daunting task than raising a child."

Beast Boy morphed into a dog, whining as though he had just been kicked in an effort to gain mercy.

"Oh no!" Terra bristled, "Nothing doing BB! This is non-negotiable. I'd better find laundry in the washer in an hour, or I'm grounding you, get it?"

The green dog unleashed a pathetic bark, its ears drooping and its tail falling between its legs as it scampered up the stairs, leaving behind an earth-mover who looked quite pleased with herself. "See? Old dogs can be taught new tricks."

Raven blinked. "I'm just impressed you were actual able to make Beast Boy do something hygienic."

"I love that man." Terra sighed. "But he needs a lot of whipping into shape!"

"I'm all in favor of the whipping part." Raven added.

"I think I do a pretty good job, myself." Robin rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his free hand, the other one untangling the curl he had made in her soft velvet hair, making a combing motion to straighten it.

"You have your moments." Raven admitted, which Robin took as a rather considerable compliment.

"Like on Sunday mornings when you enjoy staying in bed and curling up into me until I finally get up and make breakfast or we hear Rain fussing?"

"Yes. Although I submit it is not my fault that you happen to be both warm and comfortable."

"And those sheets on your four-poster bed are surprisingly soft."

"Because I insisted on the four hundred thread count."

Terra clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a giggle and causing the goth to roll her eyes. "I'm sure that I'll regret asking, but what about us is so amusing?" Raven queried.

"Both of you!" Terra unleashed her laughing fit, finding herself doubling over. "You-you really are just like-" she snorted, falling back against the couch, her legs splaying. "It's like you're already married." She sniffed, gaining some control of herself. "I think it's sweet." Terra added, waving her hands in front of her at a glowering look from Raven. The blonde couldn't possibly be aware of the conversation she and Robin had had last night, could she?

Robin smirked, rather flattered by the comment, and he moved his hand out of Raven's hair only to reach down and grab her by the middle, sliding his mate and their child into him. "Hmm, I dunno Rae. I think she's got something there. Mr, and Mrs. Grayson, plus one. Or maybe you'd prefer just 'The Graysons?"

"I do not define my life by you or anyone else in it, Richard." Raven sighed when she tried unsuccessfully to squirm out of his grasp. She was quite aware that she could simply teleport or phase free, but that might disorient Rain. More importantly, it was hard to tell what played into Robin's desires more—that she stay put, or that she struggle. Resigning herself to the situation, she rested her head against his shoulder with a frown on her face.

"You could at least smile."

"I do not smile."

"Then look content."

"Contentment dulls your senses."

"This is her way of telling me she loves me." Robin explained for Terra's benefit.

"Or tolerates, anyway. Although in spite of my best intentions, I do find you…agreeable." Raven explained.

"Agreeable." Robin reiterated. "You hear that, Terra? For Raven, that's like a sweating palms high school crush confession."

"You two do more than argue, right?" Terra asked hopefully.

"It's not arguing. It's banter." Robin explained. "It's my way of trying to let Raven maintain some of her normalcy and independence. There are ways we share our affection, a bond the two of us have. Not the same as you and I, though."

Raven nodded. "You and Robin do not have a direct bond—rather, it's like you have afterimages of each other from sharing minds. It was strong to the point of telepathy at first, but that rapidly faded to what you now have, what will always be there. What we spoke of earlier."

Terra nodded her understanding. "And what you share?"

"It's a conduit that allows us to share emotions and complex ideas. So, in a sense, you could say that I am contented. This wasn't exactly the life I was planning on, but for now, it's working. More importantly, Robin is working, and I am not."

"You know, sometimes work can be fun." The blonde sighed "I wish I got to do something more. I'm lucky if I get called three or four times a year."

"You could do other things." Raven coached. "Your work doesn't need to include your powers."

"I guess not, but I have them for a reason, right? So many bad things have been done with them. I want to do something useful to them. Sometimes I still go out when there's trouble…" Terra sighed. "I'm building a better me, you know? I just haven't found my niche yet."

"You will in time." Robin encouraged her. "And you've made a great godmother so far." He indicated the squirming little girl in Raven's lap

"She's hard to keep up with." Terra smiled. "But that's not so bad. Most of us didn't get to have very long or happy childhoods. She deserves better."

The birds exchanged a look, something between surprise and pride. "And here I thought Starfire was the one with mother pangs. The way she looks after Silkie is very…maternal." Robin ventured.

Raven nodded. "Yes, but Terra seems to capture our daughter's attention easier. Still, Starfire is very good at stimulating her as well. I'd say they both have biological clocks ticking."

"You think I'm maternal?" Terra asked, taken aback. "That I want to be a mother?"

"You're maternal where your goddaughter is concerned. As for whether or not you desire to have a child, that's really up to you, isn't it?" Raven informed her. "Of course, you would presumably be having children with Garfield. That might explain certain hesitations."

"I don't know…" Terra turned her foot demurely, looking embarrassed. "I just got attached to Rain, that's all." The blonde leaned forward, bending down to Rain's height. "Hello there. All done scaring us for today?"

Rain wore an expression that looked slightly happy and mischievous, but it was punctuated more fully by the way she reached out with her arms to Terra. The two exchanged smiles, until something happened that made all of them start. "Up."

It took a few seconds of all three of the adults looking at each other until it sank in that it was, indeed, Rain who had uttered that simple preposition. Feeling as though she were being ignored, the toddler struggled further against Raven's hold, hitting her arms insistently against Terra. "Up up."

"Did she just?"

"Holy-"

Raven said it best. "She spoke, to you. Just like yesterday, you said she was babbling—she talks to you."

"Oh, Raven." Terra's smile fell away. "No, it's not like that. She'll talk to you too."

"She wants you." Raven responded, ignoring the comment. She extended her arms out, holding Rain to her.

"No, that's alright. You should have some family time." Terra tried to back away.

"Take her." Raven commanded, placing her child into Terra's reluctant arms.

It did not go unnoticed how Rain's small arms wrapped contently around Terra's frame, happy to be carried by her godmother. Terra lifted her awkwardly, for the first time feeling very inappropriate with the child. "Oh, Raven, she's just a child, hardly even that." Terra felt her eyes tearing up. "She doesn't understand yet."

"Thank you, that makes everything better." Raven replied sarcastically, phasing herself out of Robin's grip.

"Raven!" Robin shouted after her, causing the goth's head to turn as she floated near the ceiling.

"I am behind on my meditation. Please see to the mirrors in our apartment." The sorceress expressed herself, teleporting away, presumably to the roof.

"Go after her." Terra pleaded in the aftermath, readjusting her precious cargo as Rain began chewing errant strands of her long blonde hair.

"Terra…"

"Robin, it's so obvious, isn't it? Rain is attached to me because my emotions run free. I don't have to temper them like Raven does. So to Rain, I'm warmer—maybe even more motherly." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "It's not her fault, Robin. I know she thinks it is. Look at what I've done! I'm a terrible godmother! I knew it; I knew you shouldn't have trusted me. I ruin everything! It's the one thing I'm good at!" She cried, the tears finally falling down her face in little rivers. He saw it then, in her delicate features. The scars on her neck from when he had strangled her—when she had tried to kill herself through him. They were faint, but unmistakable to his trained detective eye, handprints that seemed to form a butterfly shape around her porcelain throat from when he had nearly squeezed the life out of her—he thought he could still feel her pulse in his hands as she begged him to extinguish it. No, he could never bear to see Terra in such a state again—he would damn himself first.

"Hey, now, that's enough of that." Robin admonished, motioning for her to sit down.

"But Robin, I'm stealing this beautiful girl from her own mother, I'm horrid…"

"Stop it! This is not your fault, Terra. You can't control that, anymore than Raven can. I'll go after her, believe me. I've been chasing her for too long to ever really stop. But you didn't do anything wrong, Terra."

"Then why do I feel like such a homewrecker? Why is it that everyone I touch is ruined?"

"Raven is not ruined, and neither is Rain. You're worried you did something intentional on some subconscious level, because of what we share. Stop thinking like that. Raven will be okay. But she needs time. Try to understand how she feels."

"I get how she feels—I feel sorry for her, Robin. The last thing I want is to come between you. Never that. God, there really will be nothing left in me but wretchedness if I go down that road."

"Rain is a beautiful little girl with normal emotions who is behaving exactly the way a child her age should. Don't deny my little girl that, okay?" He asked, unable to keep from smiling at the way Rain clung to this magnificent specimen, clutching at Terra's shoulders.

"O-okay." Terra sniffed, knowing she was going to cry. "I'm sorry! I'm so…"

"Shh, come on now, don't you cry anymore, alright? I've seen you have to cry too often."

"Sometimes I still do." Terra whispered. "I'm real screwed up, Robin. Healing, yes. But I'm-"

"Among friends. And family." He added. "Are you okay? Can you look after Rain while I go and try to ease Raven?"

"Just go." She whispered, clutching Rain tighter, burying her face in the little girl's dark black hair. "I'll take care of her. I promise. How can anyone stay sad looking into her eyes?"

"I know." His whisper echoed her own, and he still found himself hesitating for a moment, caught between his desperate need to reassure Terra that she wasn't some kind of home wrecking monster, and the knowledge that every moment he hesitated with Raven might push her further into hurt and resentment, further into that fear she always held that she would be punished for bringing another life into this world. As a mother, his mate had just been dealt a critical blow, and he had to go to her now. But still, something held him back. "Terra?"

"What?" She rubbed at her eyes with the arm that wasn't cradling her goddaughter, hating the fact that she was not recovering faster.

"Rain really does think the world of you. She just shared something with you she normally doesn't with either myself or Raven. You were right, she just doesn't understand her mother yet. What child in Rain's position could. You think you're some kind of monster, Terra, but look at how far you've come. Years ago, because of my failure and your fear, you tried to tear us apart. Now look at you. You're holding my daughter—and I know she's in very safe and capable hands."

"I…I don't deserve people like you."

"No, you deserved them years ago, long before we even met. Take care of our little girl, okay?"

"Okay." Terra breathed, finding a smile despite the tears still streaming down her face. But somehow, she didn't feels so sad anymore

The decision made, Robin departed the common room as though he were a younger man being called into action by the city, leaving the emotionally wounded earth-mover behind with his only daughter, little Rain releasing Terra's hair to look up into the eyes of her godmother with what seemed like great concern and puzzlement. Her small hands grasping Terra's cheeks, feeling the dampness there, and she clapped her hands against them, smiling as though to chase Terra's melancholy away.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

Wow, now this was a long chapter. So much went into writing this one, each idea seeming to lead to the next one, at times I wasn't even certain how long this was going to be, and more importantly, what note to really end on. Actually, the ending just kind of came to me as a spur of the moment thing, as it began to dawn on me that such a complex upbringing would have to provide friction sooner or later. This is how I've decided to go about it. Hopefully, it's worth the effort. Although I'm quite certain the handful of people that actually read this story with enthusiasm will be rather upset by how I ended this chapter, but it's always preferable to leave your audience wanting more.

I'm still in constant amazement over how much people seem to love Rain. I do enjoy doing cute things with her, but what I really love the most is making her touch the lives of these adults in different ways. A child changes everything—not just for those that bring it into the world, but the lives of those they touch as well. When I decided early on to make this a story about living, and specifically that it was going to deal with bringing up a baby (well, Rain's really a toddler), I knew that I wanted that to be a focus of the lives of these characters, and not just something to take in and out of the proverbial closet. If you've been reading the story from the beginning, you'll note that with the exception of when I told Terra's backstory, Rain is a rather central figure throughout it—the lives of everyone in the tower being impacted by her in one way or another, even when she isn't "on-screen." Having a child is work, it's a whole new facet of life, and I wanted to ensure that if I was going to have Robin and Raven have a child, it needed to have real impact to the story, and not just something that happens. If she were just a plot device, I think I would have completely failed with this story. Considering that I seem to frequently come up with new ideas and angles.

As I believe someone remarked, I tend to just update when I feel like it. I tend to always be noodling around with things, but some times are just easier to write than others. I have a lot of hobbies that demand the attention of my free time, especially gaming, and with the PS4 so close to launch not to mention a flurry of excellent end-of-generation titles coming out, I've got plenty to keep me busy. Anyone else excited at the chance to play as Deathstroke (Slade) in Arkham Origins? If only Ron Perlman had been cast in the role again, the circle would be complete. I wonder if there will be a downloadable "Slade Skin" to give him his animated TT appearance?

Sorry, I think I went totally fanboy for a moment there. Fortunately, all this stuff doesn't mean you'll have to wait another year for the next update. I tend to do almost all of my writing during my downtime at work, and the more of that there is, the more I'm likely to work on this sort of thing. It comes and goes, based on my stress level, but I'm relatively committed to the threads here, and don't feel like I'm becoming bored with the story at all. Maybe because I'm kind of fascinated by the weirdness of it myself. As I always say, I'm trying to tell a story that hasn't been told ten thousand times before—it may not make me the winner of a popularity contest, but what pleases me the most about anyone who finds this story is that they come away from it feeling it offered them something unique, even if it wasn't their cup of tea. I never really know what's going to happen whenever I post a new chapter of this thing, but the event is in the hands of the fanfiction gods at that point, I suppose. My job is to hold the proverbial pen, or mouse and keyboard as the case may be, and allow the story to tell itself.

One thing I have found is the lengthy commute to and from work each day lets my mind wander to the story and the plights of the different characters. I tend to let the radio dial meander until something good manages to come on, or I delve into a classic collection of older music because I'm now in my mid-thirties and I guess I like the reminder that the stuff I grew up listening to in the 80's is now old as dirt. But still, a good song is a good song, be it recent or back in the catalog, and some of them just begging to strike a chord with me, especially pertaining to character arcs. I don't think I have a complete soundtrack yet, but I'll share the ones I do have for your approval.

Zedd—Clarity (Terra)

Ivy—Edge Of The Ocean (Beast Boy & Terra)

Genesis—Invisible Touch (Robin & Raven)

Gloria Estefan—Anything For You (Starfire)

Miley Cyrus—Wrecking Ball (Raven & Terra)

U2—Beautiful Day (Robin & Terra)

Ivy—Blame It On Yourself (Starfire)

Coldplay—Shiver (Beast Boy)

Coldplay—Paradise (Terra)

Colton Avery—Bella Luna (Beast Boy & Terra)

I'm sure that there will be many more, but these are just a few that have inspired different portions of the story (including those that haven't seen publication yet). Musical tastes tend to vary wildly, so please feel free to insert your own songs (or complete silence) as preferred. Clarity just feels like it was written for the version of Terra that I put into this story, but I've probably made her a lot more dramatic than she ever was in the series. There, she was a troubled call who was used and manipulated. Here, I've tried to give her a lot of different complexes. Hers is a life filled with tragedy—but in the past few years, there have been good things as well, a reason to keep living. But her heart is split in two, and she's a very confused young woman trying to live day-to-day. My heart rather goes out to her as she's rather fragile, and yet, Rain is very special to her because in looking after Rain, Terra can help give her the childhood she never had. But, I do find myself a bit protective of Terra, despite all the terrible things I do to her, it's because I feel I can wring worthwhile emotional responses out of her, and that has made her a very powerful and special character to me. I hope I've done something with her that everyone else hasn't—admittedly, it would just be too difficult to try and read every story with her. So I just do my own thing and hope someone out there will tell me if I'm rehashing. Or not. Some people apparently enjoy this story, that's enough for me.

Speaking of Terra, I strongly recommend looking up Bella Luna by Colton Avery on You Tube if you happen to be a fan of Beast Boy & Terra. While Clarity best describes Terra's relationship to Robin, I'm planning for Bella Luna to highlight a special moment between Beast Boy & Terra in the coming chapters—and it's another song that really does a fantastic job of telling her personal journey, IMO. It's also one you very likely haven't heard unless you went to the Man In The Moon event in Salt Lake City this past summer, so I'd urge you to give it a try. Please and thank you!

What comes next? Trying to find a way to get Robin to cope with the two women in his life will be the primary thrust, not to mention little Rain. To have so many different caretakers, she must get confused! And I plan to let that little drama play out. As for how, well, that would be telling. Meanwhile, I'll try my hand at comedy with our other characters, and I'm quite certain that they still have their own roles to play in the drama as well.

Or not. I start writing and the characters will hijack the story on me and take it wherever they feel. Trust me, they've done it with almost every chapter so far—especially back when I did the Terra backstory. I don't know if I ever lost that much sleep over writing before, but perhaps it was my own fault. I had been arrogant enough to think I could write out her story, only to find that she was telling her story to me, constantly, and I couldn't stop writing it down. She may look cute and vulnerable, but that's how she lures you in until you're caught in her spell and a slave to her tragedy. Yes, that's exactly what it was like. And I'm quite certain I made several mistakes at work during the week or two I was doing that—one of the only times in my life I can say I was outright ignoring my responsibilities because I had to get this thing out of my head and down on the metaphorical paper.

Anyhow, I've rambled enough, so I now return you to your regularly scheduled fandom until the next update. Please take the time to tell me how I'm doing—I'd rather get ten reviews saying it's the worst thing people have ever read than silence, largely because I can improve as a writer with constructive criticism. And that's something I hope to never stop doing, up until I retire from this fanfiction business. And if you thought this chapter was great, my ego can use the stroking too. That makes it worth having Tragic Terra in my head!

Until the next time; read, review, or reach out to me directly. I'm not too hard to find. You may send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

10/3/13

5:09AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer

AIM: Asukaphile26

Twitter: lordmalachite