Shane watched the flames and smiled. The orange fire flickered before his eyes in an almost hypnotic dance that wove light and heat over the couple sitting in front of the fireplace. As if responding to the moving flames, Kim shifted gently against Shane's chest, murmured unconsciously, and slipped back to sleep.
Stroking her hair lightly, Shane leaned against the end of the couch and watched Kim sleep. The soft light made her skin glow and reflected off the golden highlights in her hair. Her beauty almost took his breath away and he wondered yet again how he had been blessed to have Kim in his life.
For the first time in years, Shane felt complete.
He had tried to deny it for so long, but, without Kim, he was not whole, and could never be. He had tried to pretend otherwise by burying his emotions and letting his walls down just a little to Kayla, but he had known it was not the same. But what he had been unwilling to really face was just how empty his life without Kim was.
It never has to be like that again.
No, it never will, Shane pledged silently. Whatever it takes, Kim, I'm not letting you go.
He thought again about the night before. Kim had confronted him like she had expected him to reject her and, even after he had told her could never hate her, she had remained defiant. The way she had protested - had refused to even listen to him tell her that what happened with Cal did not matter to him - had finally made him realize the truth.
This time, it was Kim who was running away.
She had convinced herself that she was afraid of being rejected, but that was what she wanted. If Shane had pushed her away, she could have built her own walls and never had to deal with her real fear.
"Nobody's ever going to take me from you." Shane leaned his head close to Kim's and whispered, "You won't ever feel alone like that again, my love."
He closed his eyes and tried to imagine how Kim had felt when she thought he had died. She had described it as feeling empty, but that was a foreign thought to him. Shane had lost loved ones - his parents and Emma - but he had never allowed himself to feel grief. He had just closed off his emotions and moved on in life. Death was also a part of being in the ISA and while Shane never treated the death of an agent cavalierly, part of being an agent was continuing the mission. So while an agent's death would affect him, it did not consume him in the way Kim had described. And that experience with death had probably allowed him to wall himself off from the pain of losing family and friends over the years.
Maybe that had made it so hard for him to see through Kim's facade. Kim was so much closer to her emotions than he had ever been.
So maybe he could not fully know how she felt, but he had managed to make her face her true fear. And, with that, her final wall had crumbled and she had allowed herself to release that fear.
It reminded him of that night before Kim had been taken and how he had broken down in her arms. This time their positions had been reversed, and Shane had held her for what felt like hours as she sobbed and clung to him. And when Kim had no more tears, they had sat in front of the fire, kissing and hugging until, drained, she had finally fallen asleep in his arms.
"Mmmm." Kim murmured again, though she showed no real sign of waking. She shifted and the blanket slipped off her shoulders. Shane lifted his hand and reached around her to pull the blanket back over her.
Behind him, he heard a noise - the sound of a key in the front door, probably Eve returning from Wings. Afraid she would wake Kim, Shane carefully slid away from her, making sure to gently lower Kim's head to the soft rug, and adjusted the blanket around her.
He winced as he stood up. It had been several hours since his last pain pill and his chest and ribs twinged as he moved. In the darkness, he could not recall where he had left the cane, so he walked a bit unsteadily to the library door, reaching it just as Eve removed her coat. She jumped as he entered the foyer.
"Dad!"
Shane held his index fingers to his lips then whispered, "Kim's asleep in there." He motioned to the library as he finished.
Eve smirked a little as she peeked through the door. "In front of the fire?" she asked as he gave him a knowing look.
Shane felt the heat rising in his cheeks.
"Oh, come on, Dad." Eve laughed, then smiled. "I'm happy for you . . . if this really is what you want."
"Eve!"
She giggled, then gave him a light peck on the cheek. "I'm just teasing. I'm glad. I want you to be happy, and you made it clear you want to be with Kim. I'm just glad someone managed to get through to her."
Shane's radar began to ping and he looked at Eve. "Eve, sweetheart, did you say something to Kimberly?"
Eve gave her best innocent look. "Moi? I have no idea what you could possibly mean." She backed away toward the stairs. "Besides, it's late and I need to get some sleep. I'd suggest you do the same, but-"
"Eve!"
"Good night," she said quickly as she raced up the staircase.
Back in the foyer, Shane was left shaking his head. There were some things that he was just not prepared to discuss with his daughter. Still, he had to wonder what Eve might have said to Kim. Or maybe his radar was off and he was just imagining things. That was probably it.
"Shane?" From the library, he heard Kim's sleepy voice. He turned and shuffled slowly back into the library. Kim was standing in the soft light from the fire, the blanket wrapped around her.
"Good morning," he said softly as he spotted her. "Well, not really. . . . It's still the middle of the night."
She smiled as she walked around the couch. Kim stopped in front of him, leaned up, and kissed him. "Thank you."
Confused, Shane asked, "For what?"
"For being here," she said. "For holding me. For making me feel loved."
"I told you. . . . I'm not going anywhere." He took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed it gently. In the back of his mind, he thought about how he might have picked her up, carried her upstairs, and made love to her for the rest of the night. He felt a slight flash of embarrassment that he could do none of that, but he could see in Kim's eyes that she did not mind.
She reached up and caressed his cheek. "Why don't we go upstairs and get some sleep?" She must have seen his hesitancy, because she raised her fingers to his lips. "I don't care about that. I just want to be home, in our bed, and there's nothing I want more than to wake up in your arms in the morning."
He was powerless to resist, even if he had wanted to. They kissed softly once more before Kim took his hands and led him slowly to the stairs.