Kim yawned as she slowly came awake. It took her a moment to recognize the bedroom, but then she became aware that her head was resting on Shane's chest and one of his arms was wrapped around her. The realization that the night before was not a dream brought a smile to her face.
She could still feel Shane's arms around her as they held each other in front of the fire. Kim had needed to be held, needed the reassurance that he was there and would not leave her again.
It had amazed her to realize how she had tricked herself. Here she was a trained therapist and she had been unable to see that what was paralyzing her was not some worry about how Shane would react to Cal, but her subconscious fear about what might happen if she let herself love Shane again. Cal and her past were a way for her to test Shane - a test that she thought he would fail - and with his failure, she could close her heart to him and never be hurt.
Stupid, Kimmie. Really stupid.
She shook her head at the thought and the movement got Shane's attention. His hand lightly brushed the side of her head, drawing some of the hair from her face. Tilting her head, she was able to look into his eyes.
"Good morning," he said softly.
Kim responded with her own smile, yawned, and turned again so that the back of her head was once more resting on his chest. "A wonderful morning." She felt Shane's chest rise as he laughed a little, then tense as he let out a tight gasp. Immediately, Kim pulled away and spun around. "God, I'm sorry." She started to move further away, but Shane grabbed her arm.
"It's okay," he assured her.
"But I hurt you. . . . I wasn't thinking. Here you are, still recovering from being shot and I'm treating you like a human pillow."
Shane's laugh turned into a slight grimace, but he held her arm tight and looked her in the eye. "Did you hear me complaining?"
Kim sighed as she faced him. "I just don't want to hurt you."
"I couldn't possibly be hurting right now," he said, smiling. He let go of her arm and raised his hand to her cheek. She melted into his touch. "I want to wake up like this every morning, human pillow or not." He paused and looked down at her nightgown and then at his pajama top. "Well maybe not exactly like this. . . . We are a little overdressed."
Kim giggled. "You're terrible. You-" She broke off as she saw the time out of the corner of her eye. "Oh my god . . . it's already past nine. I should have been at the hospital already."
"Can't you say you've got a patient who needed a house-call?" He gave her a saucy grin.
"You really are terrible," Kim said, rolling her eyes. Then, more seriously, she added, "I would love to stay here with you."
He nodded. "But duty calls. I know."
She took his hand from her cheek and then kissed it. "I promise I'll come home right after work." She pulled away and headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up.
Behind her, she heard the rustle of sheets as Shane got out of bed. "I'll at least make sure you have some coffee ready."
About ten minutes later, Kim emerged, dressed and ready for the day. She hesitated as she left the room, wondering if she could get away with calling in sick. With a sigh, she decided to be good and go to work, so she headed downstairs. She heard Shane's voice coming out of the library just as she reached the bottom of the staircase. He sounded agitated.
"Simmons, where is it?"
"I'm not sure, sir," Simmons said. "Did you return it to the safe?"
Curious, Kim peeked into the library. Shane was standing at the desk, a pile of papers scattered across the top.
"No, it wasn't in the safe," Shane said. "I took it out . . . the day of the birthday party for Jeannie." He looked down at what Kim assumed was the desk drawer. "Where the devil did it go? Tell me I didn't lose it, Simmons."
"I doubt you did, sir. Your mother's broach is not the kind of thing you - of all people - would misplace."
Kim smiled as she realized what was going on. She pulled her head back and tried not to giggle as she heard the desk drawers open and close. For a moment, she debated making Shane stew a little, but decided that would be heartless. So she turned, raced upstairs, and, after finding what she was looking for, returned to the foyer. In the library, Shane was still turning the desk drawers inside out.
Unable to help herself, Kim put on her best innocent expression as she stepped into the library. "Looking for something?"
Shane's cheek turned slightly red, but he shook his head. "No." At her dubious look, he said, "Okay, but it's nothing. Just some papers I needed for the physical therapist."
She almost believed him; he sounded that convincing. It amazed Kim that Shane could be such a good liar, but years of practice with the ISA had trained him well. "I see," she said, a purposeful edge to her voice as she glanced over to the wall panel where the safe was hidden. The panel was open. "You normally keep your physical therapy documents in the safe?"
The red crept a little higher in Shane's cheeks. "I . . . I . . ." he stuttered.
Kim decided to have mercy and pulled the cameo out of her pocket. "You were looking for this?"
Shane's eyes went wide. "How? I mean-"
"How did I get it?" Kim asked. Shane seemed to hesitate and he ran a hand through his hair. Kim was not sure whether to laugh or cry. "You really don't remember?" she asked.
"What am I supposed to remember?" Shane looked confused as Kim walked toward him.
She stopped a few feet from the desk and looked down at the jewel in her hand. He doesn't remember. That left her ambivalent. On the one hand, she could understand. He had been hurt and in pain; Kim could hardly expect him to be aware of what he said. But on the other hand, she could not stifle the little voice that wondered how he could forget something that supposedly was so important.
"You told Kayla to give it to me," Kim said. She waited for a reaction.
Shane just pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, as he often did when puzzled. "I told Kayla. . . . I know she knew where I'd left it, but I don't remember. . . . When. . . ." Shane looked up as the realization hit him. "Oh."
He closed the drawer and leaned against the desk.
Kim held out the cameo. "I guess I should have said something about it."
Shane stared at the broach, but he seemed lost in thought. Was he thinking about the airplane hangar? Or the hospital? The night before, they had talked about her experiences when Shane had been shot, but not about what he had felt. She wondered what, if anything, he remembered.
Not wanting to broach that subject, she said, with a touch of sadness, "You're welcome to have it back." As she finished, she placed the cameo on the desk. When he said nothing, she sighed and turned away. "I'd better get to the hospital."
"Wait," Shane said just as Kim took her first step toward the foyer. She turned back to see that he had picked up the cameo. He was studying it and did not say anything at first. Eventually, slowly, he said, "My mother always said this cameo created a connection between her and my father."
"Not even war could keep them apart." Kim smiled, remembering the story that Shane had told her shortly after he had given her the cameo. "You told me."
Still holding the cameo, Shane moved around the desk approached her. "I was thinking about what you said . . . about how you felt when you thought. . . ."
When I thought you died, Kim finished the words he seemed unable to say.
"My mother always said that when I gave this to the woman I loved, we'd have the same connection." Shane ran a finger over the carved figure on the broach. "And I believed that for a time. But then you left, and I convinced myself that those kind of connections aren't real. At least . . . not for me."
Kim smiled softly. "I think your mother knew you pretty well."
"Enough to know what kind of woman I'd fall in love with." Shane's eyes seemed to glaze over as if he were lost in thought. "You would have loved my mother, Kim." He focused again and looked at her. "And I know she would have adored you . . . and our children."
Kim stepped forward so that she could reach out and take his hand in hers. "I know I adore her son." She looked down at the cameo. "But it doesn't take a piece of jewelry to know what we have. We are connected. I've known that . . . . When you're in danger or you're hurt, I can feel it." Kim raised her head and her eyes locked on his. "I told you how I felt when I thought you died, but I didn't tell you how it felt when you came back. I knew it. Even before Marcus told us, I knew. I could feel you. I knew you were alive and it was like I could breathe again."
The room fell silent. Neither she nor Shane pulled away. Kim continued to hold his hand, which still clutched the cameo.
"You may not remember," Kim said. "But you wanted me to have this. That's what you told Kayla, to make sure I had that so I knew how you felt." Kim felt tears begin to sting her eyes. "That should have been all it took to make me know you loved me." She closed her eyes. "I did know. . . . I was just so afraid and I couldn't even see it. I'm so sorry-"
"Stop," Shane said gently. His voice was soft and she could hear his concern. "That's over. There's nothing to be sorry about." A small smile played on his lips. "Do you remember how long it took for us to finally admit that we loved each other? That we were such fools for hiding behind our walls. . . . I guess we just had to repeat some of those mistakes, but I think our love is stronger for it. No . . . I know it's stronger."
With his free hand, he reached up and tenderly brushed a tear from her cheek. Kim could see the love and devotion in his eyes.
"Now why don't you let me do this properly," Shane said. He lifted the broach. "Maybe this didn't create what exists between us, but it is symbol of our love. And it belongs with you forever."
Kim could hardly breathe as Shane placed the cameo above her breast and pinned it to her jacket. The latch closed with a tiny click. Shane smoothed the surrounding fabric and smiled.
"There."
Kim looked down to see the cameo fastened in place and lifted her hand to touch it. As she touched the stone, she felt so happy and content, like everything was perfect. It was as if the chaos that had filled their lives had been swept away. None of that mattered now.
She looked back up at Shane and tried to remember everything she could about this moment - the way his eyes shone, the sound of her own heartbeat, and the soft touch of his hands as they cupped her face and drew her into his deep, passionate kiss.
Losing herself in Shane's kiss, Kim heard the echo of his words about the cameo - "it belongs with you forever." As they pulled apart, she felt a rush of joy as she looked into Shane's eyes and said, "And I belong with you, Shane Donovan. Forever."