I said a few chapters ago that I wanted to respond to some of the comments about this story's portrayal of Kim, but I want to start with something else. Although this story is being posted under the name 80sDaysFan, this story actually is co-written by two people. On most Days-related sites, we post as jwsel and esp13. jwsel is a huge Shane/Kim fan, while esp13 is a devoted Steve/Kayla fan. But what is important to understand is that we both love all four characters, we both write all four characters in this story, and we both share, with minor quibbles, the same view of the characters.

Going back to the subject of Kim, we hope by now that it is a little easier to understand why Kim approached Shane the way she did after the Halloween party and why she used the words that she used. Her subconscious fear of Shane dying led her to push Shane away, and she did so in the most provocative, hurtful way she could. In our minds, this is consistent with the classic scene in the police station after Andrew is kidnapped where Kim forces Shane to call her a whore. She insists that he can't overcome her past. He says her past is her obsession; she uses it to push people away so she won't be hurt by a relationship. (If you've never seen this scene, treat yourself and go to YouTube and search for "Kim and Shane -Kidnapping SL" posted by lovingshane.)

As should be clear from the story, we think there is some truth to what both Kim and Shane said in that scene. It took a long time for Shane to admit that he was unable to let Kim's past go. But he finally did so, just before Kim was kidnapped.

The scenes after the Halloween part between Shane and Kim reflected her turn to accept the truth of what Shane has said in that conversation - that she used her past as a protective barrier. Terrified of losing Shane, Kim tried to use what happened with Cal to goad him into saying something negative, which she had convinced herself would prove he cannot get over the past and justify her rejecting him. If he had failed that test, she could have walked away and would never have had to face being hurt if Shane really did die. Thankfully, Shane passed her test and saw through what she was doing. We hope that is now clear.

Finally, we want to address the idea that we hate Kim or are Kim-bashers because she sometimes thinks of herself in harsh terms or other people say bad things about her character. Did Kim's words suggest that is truly how she thinks of herself or how we, the authors, think of Kim. As to the latter, definitely not. As to the former, we say, "sort of." We see Kim as a realist, who admits her past, accepts it, and has moved on. We don't think she is ashamed about her past anymore; she has put it behind her and that means she can talk frankly about being a prostitute without shame.

Kim, like the other characters in this story, is not perfect. All of these characters have flaws. They say and do stupid things. They sometimes say - and even think - things that they don't really believe. They also sometimes delude themselves. So readers should not always assume that what a character says or thinks is 100% accurate. They are expressing one point-of-view. More importantly, what a character may say or think does not mean that the authors agree. Lawrence believes he is God's gift, so that is how he thinks of himself. The authors think Lawrence is a narcissistic sociopath with delusions of grandeur. Just as we doubt you think we agree with everything Lawrence says or thinks, please understand that the same is sometimes true of the main characters.

We think it is important to make clear that we do love those characters. They are well-intentioned, caring, and would do just about anything to help the others and their friends and families. They also are stubborn and bull-headed, and sometimes need someone else to knock some sense into them. That complexity and those flaws is why we are having so much fun exploring the main characters.

We recognize that not everyone may share our view of these characters. But just because your opinions might differ from ours does not mean that we don't love and respect these characters. Certainly, we would not have spent the past year and a half of our lives writing this story if we did not love them. And we thank you for joining us so far as we share our views and love for these characters with you.

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The pier was quiet as Steve leaned against a piling and stared out at the water. From his vantage point, he could see ships being loaded and unloaded farther down the harbor.

Steve could not count the number of hours he had spent in this exact place, staring out over the water, looking for something - clarity, inspiration, or maybe even divine inspiration. He sighed softly. He could certainly use any one of those things now.

Since his meeting with Nowicki in New York, he had racked his brain for some solution to the apparently unsolvable puzzle of how to prove that Shane was set up by the ISA without asking somebody to take Shane's place in prison.

Once again, Nowicki's drunken words echoed in Steve' mind. "You find a way to do that . . . 'n' stop those bastards . . . let me know. . . . see what I can do. . . ." Steve knew Nowicki meant what he said. If Steve could come up with a plan, Nowicki and Deakins would help.

The problem was that Steve was not coming up with a plan. Every way he looked was blocked by the fact that somebody would have to testify and, consequently, end up in trouble.

"Dammit," he snapped in frustration as he kicked the piling. He was not going to let Tarrington win this one.

"Taking out your frustrations on an innocent piece of wood?"

Steve spun around and saw Jack approaching. Taking a deep breath, Steve nodded. "Something like that. What are you doing down here Billy Jack? Slumming?"

Jack ignored Steve's jibe and continued walking towards his brother. "I'm glad I ran into you." He stopped when he reached Steve. "I've been wondering if you had gotten any information from Abe?"

Steve stared at Jack in confusion. "Information about what?"

"About Alamain," Jack replied. "When we talked a couple of weeks ago, you said you would check with Abe and find out if the Salem PD had any information about where he was hiding."

Steve mentally kicked himself for forgetting. "I'm sorry, Jack. With everything that's happened recently, I haven't had a chance to talk to Abe."

Jack looked disappointed and then shrugged. "I guess things probably have been a little crazy with Roman Brady returning from the-" He paused. "Well, I guess he wasn't really thought to be dead was he?"

Steve shook his head. "No he wasn't. And yes, it has been a little crazy." He checked his watch. "I'll go over to the cop shop right now. I'll see what information I can get from Abe and get back to you, okay?"

Jack nodded. "I appreciate it. I think just having some kind of solid information would help Jennifer. She's still pretty worried."

Steve knew that it was more likely that Jack was worried, but he understood. Jack wanted to protect Jennifer just as much as Steve wanted to protect Kayla.

Clapping Jack on the shoulder, Steve headed for the stairs. "I'll be in touch if I get any information." He quickly climbed the stairs and walked to his car. It only took a couple of minutes to reach the station and park outside.

Entering the station, Steve looked around, hoping to see Abe. Kayla had told him that Roman had been reinstated and Steve wanted to avoid another run-in with his brother-in-law if he could. Steve could not help but be a little irritated that Roman had been reinstated so easily after a seven year absence, particularly when Steve's reinstatement request had been rejected.

The officers at the front desk recognized Steve and did not question him as he headed towards the offices in the back. Reaching Abe's door, Steve knocked softly, hoping Abe was alone.

"Come in," he heard Abe call. Steve opened the door and found Abe at his desk. "Steve," Abe said in surprise. "What brings you by?"

Steve closed the door behind him. "I'm looking for some information about Lawrence Alamain."

Abe's eyes narrowed. "What kind of information?"

"Where he is, for starters," Steve replied as he sat down in a chair across from Abe's desk. "And how sure you are that he really is where you think he is."

Abe sighed. "You know I can't give you that information, Steve. It's confidential."

Steve snorted. "Confidential? Come on, Abe. This is me. Steve Johnson. You know what that man did to me and my family. Don't tell me it's confidential."

Steve could tell Abe was wavering and pressed on. "I'm not trying to find out how you know anything or where the information comes from. I just want to know where he is and if you have any idea of what he is planning."

"Don't answer that question, Abe."

Steve turned to see Roman standing in the doorway. His shoulders sagged as he saw the smug look on Roman's face. There was no question that Steve was not going to get the information he wanted today.

"If Johnson's looking for information, he should be asking the commander of the department," Roman said walking towards where Abe and Steve were sitting. "And that's me."

Steve bristled at Roman's tone, but decided to play along. "All right, Commander Brady. Can you tell me where Lawrence Alamain is hiding out these days?"

"No." Roman smiled humorlessly. "As Abe told you, that information is confidential. But you can rest assured that the Salem police department is monitoring the situation."

Steve failed to stop himself from rolling his eye. "Monitoring the situation?" he repeated sarcastically. "There is a psychopath out there who would love nothing more than to destroy my family - your family - and you're 'monitoring the situation.' That makes me feel so much better."

"I've reviewed the files on Lawrence Alamain," Roman said formally. "I'm fully aware of his conviction for raping Jennifer Hort- Deveraux."

Steve shook his head. "That's only one of his many crimes. Does the file tell you about how he tried to kill Bo by blowing up the boat? How he kept Frankie Brady prisoner? How he tried to kill Bo and Kayla, not to mention a bunch of other people in his country? And, not that it would matter to you, but how he faked my death and kept me prisoner for a year?"

Steve saw Roman glance at Abe, as if looking for confirmation. Abe nodded slightly in return. For a moment Steve was hopeful that Roman might change his mind. But that hope was quickly dashed.

"Regardless," Roman finally said. "I cannot share confidential information with someone who is not a member of this department." His eyes narrowed. "You may have gotten used to procedure being ignored around here, but that's not going to happen anymore."

Steve's heart sank. It was clear that Roman's continued anger and resentment outweighed everything. Nonetheless, he gave it one last try.

"I'm not trying to interfere with police procedure," Steve said calmly. "I just want to make sure that Alamain doesn't take us by surprise. I want to keep Kayla safe. You can understand that."

"Don't worry, Johnson," Roman replied dismissively. "I have no intention of letting any harm come to my family." He stared pointedly at Steve. "From anyone."

Steve shook his head and stood, knowing there was no point in continuing the conversation. He walked to the door and then stopped and looked back at Roman.

"I know what it's like to come home and find everything has changed," he said softly. "And I know what it's like to be angry at everyone and everything because of it." He stared at Roman. "But I also know that you can do a lot of damage holding onto that anger. Just think about that."

Without waiting for a response, Steve walked out of the door. He would try to get in touch with Abe privately later, although he doubted it would do much good. If Steve was going to get information about Lawrence, it was not going to come from the Salem PD.