Chapter Thirty-One
-Rin-
"Len…" I start. Gah, how do I put this? 'Sorry, Len, but I just don't feel that way about you.' No, no way am I saying that. 'Len, I don't think this is right, let alone legal.' Haha, that's even worse. I swear…
"Yeah?" he asks, shuffling his feet through the soft white sand.
"I… just want to know… uh…" I stammer, trying to pick out the right words to convey to him. "A-Aren't there… like… uh…" I mumble, my gaze rolling up toward the vibrant blue cloudless sky. "Rules to this kinda stuff… maybe?" I ask, so quietly that I can't even hear it.
"Rules?" Len repeats, "You mean… oh…" he sighs, his face contorting into a frown. I nod my head slowly.
"Yeah…" I trail off, not willing to meet his gaze.
"Mmhmm," he hums, obviously also not knowing how to respond. I can feel his stare boring into mine, but I'm too fogged to even look him in the eye.
"Look, we need to fix this!" I interrupt, holding out my hand aimlessly. "I don't like where this is going, Len, it needs to stop," I sigh, my shoulders sinking heavily. He turns his head soundlessly but quickly, clearly taken aback by my sudden upsurge.
"Rin…" he whispers, his eyebrows rising.
"You need to stop," I mumble, stopping midstride. I watch in silence as his eyelashes simply bat down and up, down and up. I watch his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes, only the slightest of movements. I watch as his as his deep turquoise eyes are lost in his confused gaze, unable to look away from mine.
"Don't you get it, Rin? I can't just… stop," Len says as I feel his hand tugging toughly at my shoulder and whirling me around to face him. Gah, I'm a terrible person. I just asked him to stop liking me… What kind of person even does that? Why am I always so… me all the time? Why can't I be like Miku or Luka or Gumi? They all know how to handle these situations… Why don't I?
"Len, please! You have to!" I splutter, running out of words to say. "Just… Do it for the sake of our family. Please," I sigh, my bottom eyelids rising.
"You have no idea how I feel about you, Rin, do you?" Len asks, "It's just… If I could stop, don't you think I would've done that nine years ago? Don't you think that the first time I saw you again I would've done that?" he asks.
"N-Nine years ago?" I stutter, my voice falling as I feel a rush spiraling through every corner of my body. "B-But that's-"
"I know," Len sighs, nodding his head as his hand returns to my shoulder. "Just… Understand," he says.
"Don't worry," I say, "I understand. It's just, understanding doesn't always mean agreement, Len. You just… need to learn how to stop," I say.
"Rin, I just-"
"Even if you can't right now," I cut him off, "Just try and at least pretend. I mean, you'll get used to it eventually," I ration.
I used to lie to myself all the time… And I actually started to believe what I said to myself… and there isn't a day that I don't regret it… but hey, it worked. I almost add that, but I know better than to tell him. And sure, I only said simple things like 'My hair looks nice today,' or 'I look alright in this shirt,' but then, they grew into more dangerous things like 'Everyone loves you. There isn't a single person who doesn't,' and 'She didn't mean to call you ugly, she's just jealous…'
Would it work for him?
"Pretend?" Len nearly shouts, his eyes vehement and furious. "Rin, you're asking me to lie to myself. To make myself believe that it's not true!" he says, shaking his head. "Not only is that completely unreasonable, but that's so… inhumane!" he hisses.
"You know, that worked for me!" I quickly defend myself, giving no thought.
"You did that to yourself? Deteriorated yourself like that?" he asks, his cerulean eyes searching mine for even the smallest of answers as his countenance drops. "Rin, that's… terrible," Len sighs suddenly, pulling me closer, his hands around my shoulders. I just let him pull me into a hug- I don't even fight back. "What were you even telling yourself?" I hear his quiet voice murmur in my ear. I find his fingers running through my thin strands of silky blonde hair.
"T-That… I was…" I almost answer. I swallow down the rest of that sentence. "Nothing, that's not the point here. We were talking about you, Len," I remind him coldly, untangling myself from his embrace. His eyes melt into an ocean of sadness as I cross my arms over my petite chest.
"Rin, just listen to me…" Len says, wrapping his hand around mine.
"No, Len… I think we're better off as twins, okay?" I sigh, yanking my hand away and tossing my golden hair behind my shoulder, something I've seen Luka do a countless number of times. "I have to go," I say, forcing one foot in front of the other as they trudge into the sand.
"Where?" I hear Len ask behind me, the sounds of his footsteps growing louder. I quicken up the pace to get away from him.
"Anywhere but here," I mutter under my breath, my eyes narrowing. Something's pulling me to look back at him, but I shove the feelings aside, crushing them with every driven step. Where am I going? What was I thinking?
Inhumane… Unreasonable… Gah, he's right… Was there even a better way to handle that? Why can't he just understand that we're not meant to be? It's almost like… Like… Ugh, never mind. Instead of continuing my thoughts, I continue my march to wherever I'm going.
Paris… 'City of love'? More like 'the city of just give it up'. Come on, Len, you can do it. People will believe anything others say to them… But why won't he?
I just let the wind sway against me as it picks up my hair and pulls it in front of my face, as if to say 'Go back and apologize!' I just tuck my hair behind my ear and keep walking. Not far from me is that smoothie shop I saw Gumi heading to. I recall Luka and Kaito being there as well, but none of them are there anymore. I look around me. Len isn't anywhere to be seen either. I crane my head to the right in search of Miku and Piko, but they're not there either.
It's like nobody's here for me anymore… Where did everyone go? Was the beach this desolate when we got here? I look up toward the darkening sky, my thoughts being broken by a blood-curling scream sharp enough to pierce the air. Who was that? Where are my friends when I need them? I pick up my pace even faster, breaking out into a run in search of the source. Of course Len just has to join me in the search. I roll my eyes at him as he quickens his pace to catch up to me.
"Who was that?" Len asks me.
"I don't know," I answer coldly, trying to outrun him. Unfortunately, I can't. He's already caught up to me, racing to pass me. How did he-? I thought I was fast… Imagine myself in boy form… "Hey Len, let me do this by myself," I breathe, sprinting even faster, my bare feet tearing through sand.
"No, someone might be in trouble," Len says, passing me and running ahead. That might not be true, someone might have seen a spider or something. This isn't even a race to help someone anymore, it's a race to beat my brother. Too late. Len has started racing up the hill in the direction of which the voice came.
"Len, slow down!" I mumble to myself as I begin losing track of my stride. Before I know it, my feet are slipping and I'm losing my pace as I feel my face plummeting toward the grassy sand at a terrifying speed.
"You okay?" I hear as I match the voice with the skewed image of two feet running toward me. I see Len orientated over me, his hand outstretched. His face is weary with concern as he motions for me to take his hand. I ignore the sharp pain in my rear as I grab onto him. Exalting a startling amount of strength, he pulls me up to my feet in one swift motion. Remember… Looks can be deceiving. "Are you okay?" he repeats.
"Yeah," I answer bleakly. Why isn't he laughing at me? I just fell on my butt and instead of laughing, he helped me up. A week ago this would've been different.
"Good," he says with a nod. By the way he keeps on fidgeting, I can tell he's trying to fight back some uncomfortable feeling, but I don't dare question it. Instead, I brush bits of sand off my butt and let my shoulders sink as a heavy breath undulates from my dizzy lungs.
"T-Thanks," I manage to get out, swallowing down the feeling, "I-I… thanks."
"Thanks?" he repeats, his fingers finding the back of his neck, "For what?"
"F-For…" I stammer. Just why did I even say that in the first place? "For um, for…"
"You're welcome," he cuts me off as he holds back a… a blush.
"Wow, Len, you haven't done that in a while," I laugh, poking at his cheek. "You know…" I sigh, my gaze and my arm both falling, "I'm sorry. I… I should've said this earlier, really, I should've," I stammer. Why can't I just talk to him? "So… can you like… uh… accept my apology now, er…?" I let out a nervous laugh, pressing my finger into my own cheek.
"Rin, of course," he chuckles along with me. "It's just… I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have kissed you…" he shrugs, his smile tightening into a frown. "It wasn't right… or very legal…" he says. Now it's his turn to break out into a nervous laugh.
"Oh, Len," I sigh, shaking my head in ridicule.
"So… can you like… uh… accept my apology, now, er…?" Len mocks me, a childish grin slipping onto his face.
"Hey! Shut up!" I laugh, flicking him in the shoulder as we make our way up the hill. Suddenly, we hear voices in the near distance… growing closer. Maybe that's because we're growing closer.
"Hey, shush," he hushes me, placing a silencing finger over my lips. "Listen…" Len whispers. He holds onto me this way as we pause in our tracks, holding our breath for fear that we won't hear the voices. They sound so… familiar…
"She's awake…" I hear one say. A deep voice… definitely masculine.
"What happened to me?" I hear another say, but far quieter than the other. Soft… feminine. Sounds familiar.
"You're… hurt…" says the masculine one.
"Where… Where am I?" asks the feminine. I find my toes inching forward across the sand as my ear leads the way, only for Len to pull my shoulder back.
"We heard you fall on the hill back there!" shrills a really high-pitched feminine voice. I cringe at the sound. It sounds almost like… Miku!
"Come on, Rin, this isn't something we should be getting involved in," Len says quietly, pulling on my arm in attempt to turn me the other direction.
"No! I think it's Miku!" I protest, squirming from his grasp.
"Rin, that's ridiculous! We don't know these people. Come on," he sighs, his inciting gaze strong as he raises an eyebrow. "We're going…" he hums, tugging me along.
"Len…" I warn.
"You're crazy…" he sings.
"Len…" I repeat, this time with more ferocity.
"This is absurd…" he croons, walking in front of me lightheartedly. "But you know I want the best for you, which means no getting into other people's business."
"You're supposed to be my brother, not my father," I point out, my eyes narrowing in exasperation.
"Yeah, yeah," he shakes his head in indifference, "But I am in fact the older one." Almost as suddenly as I fell, I spin around and twist his arms in my grasp, my fingernails digging into his wrists.
"You don't know that," I say. This time it's my eyebrows that rise, challenging… no, daring him to say another word. He breathes in deeply. "Unless you want to go and ask our parents," I add, a sly smile slipping onto my lips.
"Well," he lets his breath out, "Maybe we should. It's about time we went to visit them again. It never hurts to get a little bit of information out of them," he concludes. I quickly drop his wrists. "But which parents?"
"What do you think?" I groan at his stupidity. "Our birth parents, duh," I sigh. "Why would it even make sense to ask our adopted parents?" I ask.
"Good point," he mumbles. "But… how do you think they'll react?" he inquires.
"What do you mean?" I ask dryly, "They'll tell us I'm the older one, and we'll go home. Simple as that."
"No, not them… o-our adopted parents. How do you think they'll react when they find out that we know that… you know…" he starts, stumbling over his words.
"Oh, they'll um… I'm not sure. You think maybe they'll be okay with it? I think they'll keep in touch with Ann and Al. It might be nice," I smile, looking up toward the clear, sunny sky buoyantly.
"Yeah, yours might," Len sighs heavily, looking up as well, "But mine won't." He suddenly drops his gaze, his hand finding mine. "Rin… I don't wanna go home."
"Hey… I'm sure we'll find a way to work this out," I splutter.
"Rin, not everything can just be worked out," he says, sadness evident in his weary voice. "But I am surprised, normally you wouldn't even think of trying to help me. What changed?" he asks.
"W-What's that supposed to mean?" I demand, my expression twisting up.
"Why are you trying to help me with my family?" he repeats.
"They're my family too," I point out. He smiles weakly. "But… Why'd you help me up when I fell?" I ask.
"B-Because… it looked like it hurt, I guess," he shrugs.
"But why didn't you laugh at me?" I narrow my eyes.
"Rin-"
"Why didn't you?" I repeat louder.
"B-Because… I, uh…" he stammers. I can almost see the words dancing on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to roll out. I loosen my expression and give the slightest of nods, begging him to go on with just one tiny movement. "I… uh… I lo- I don't hate you…?" he shrinks, catching the words before they stumble out. Smooth, Len. I'm proud.
"Oh, come here," I giggle, holding out my arms in front of him. He steps out and closes his eyes as he expects me to pull him into a hug, unable to see the smirk on my face. Instead, I flick him in the face and push him away. He scoffs.
"You suck," he sighs, letting out a laugh under his breath and crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.
"Aren't I supposed to? I'm your sister," I remind him, tilting my head. He rolls his eyes in irritation.
"So… Are we going to find them or not?" he asks, not losing the smile.
"Right," I sigh, running a hand through my hair in exhaust. "B-But… what about the party? You know? Aren't we supposed to meet up and-"
"Forget the party. Those two have been gone for years now," he laughs, "Who knows when they'll be back?"
"Good point. Are we coming back from Ann's?" I inquire.
"Will you stop asking questions?" he asks.
"Hypocrite," I retort. "Now come on. We have to hurry if we don't want to raise suspicion," I joke, keeping my voice low as I throw him an ominous look. He flicks my face. "Ow!" I growl, pushing his hand away.
"Hypocrite," he smirks haughtily.
"You didn't even use that right," I seethe. "You know… sometimes, Len, I really hate you," I tease.
"Aren't you supposed to?" he chuckles, eyes twinkling, "I'm your brother."
Awww, aren't you just melting at how adorable they are? :D
Okay, so I kinda wrote this over like... a course of the week, and that's how I usually write when I'm busy like this. So, if a part of the chapter seems to jump out at you, like, it's random or something, then that's probably why. Sorry about that. I should probably start reading over my work before I publish it, haha.
Eating: Pudding (It's 7:08am)
Drinking: MILKKK
Doing: Publishing, sleeping on my keyboard
Homework: *sigh*
Listening to: *snickers* Well... I'm not sure if this qualifies... xD
Quote time: "I… uh… I lo- I don't hate you…?" - Len
Adios! :D
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It's quotev dot com slash quiz slash 4421120 slash which-SS16-Character-are-you-most-like/
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Bye!