Chapter Thirty-Four

-Gumi-

"I say…" Kaito starts, leaning back against the sofa casually, "We do something today, you know?" he laughs. I roll my eyes and cross my legs arrogantly.

"Haven't we done enough already? I mean, I'd like to just relax tonight," I reason, biting my lip.

"Hey, don't be like that," he chuckles, "Look, I don't wanna be stuck on the couch all day."

"Why not? I'm here," I giggle, a sly grin slipping onto my face. This time, it's his turn to roll his eyes. "Look Kaito, I'm tired," I yawn, waving a hand in front of my face. He leans so close to me that I can feel his breath tickling my skin. Again, his lips unite with mine.

How long am I going to let this go on? How long am I going to pretend I feel the way I'm pretending to feel? How long can I let this go on? Am I even pretending anymore at this point? I pull out a smile, an artful gleam practically seeping out of my cherry-red lips.

"Are you awake now?" he playfully asks. I giggle and toss my hair behind my shoulder.

"Okay, fine, what did we plan on doing today?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh…" he starts, his eyes darting to the left.

"Exactly, Kaito, you don't even know. You just want an excuse to lay more lips on me, don'tcha?" I tease with my best cheesy Scottish accent, poking his nose.

"No," he whines, his eyes cycling up toward the ceiling and back down again.

"Then what?" I laugh, heaving out an exasperated sigh. He mocks the sound, copying my voice exactly. "Woah!" I gasp, my smile growing.

"Hey," Kaito grabs my attention, his face falling serious as he tugs on his scarf, "What do you think our friends will think… you know, of us?"

"What do you mean? You're a guy… and I'm a girllll…" I drag the word, twirling my fingers around each other, only for Kaito to stop me.

"No, I mean, I'm sure none of them were expecting us to end up together," he points out.

"Well, I didn't expect Miku and Piko to end up together, but look, they're happy, right?" I reason.

"You're not still caught up all over Piko, right?" Kaito suddenly asks, his eyes widening as they narrow sharply. I inhale, not finding any words to shape any good answer. Am I? Do I still have feelings stuck inside that are reserved for Piko? Wonderful, amazing, Piko…? Blind, betraying, Piko! It won't even matter if I force his eyes open, he won't see me as anything more than Gumi Megpoid. Bland, boring, not-as-good-as-his-girlfriend, Gumi Megpoid.

"No," I finally decide with a huff.

"That sure did take a while," he raises his eyebrows, an unidentifiable look shadowing his eyes. "Hey, what is Piko to you that I'm not?" he asks. I feel a piercing wrench in my chest as the words strike me.

"He's… unattainable… I guess…" I start, my eyes staring lifelessly out the window. "He's like… that A+ that I want on my science test… and I study so hard just to get it… and when I do… I feel so good. But… Piko isn't a science test, just a mere test of my spirit, Kaito," I sigh, turning sharply to look at him.

"They say people want what they can't have…" Kaito sighs, shifting positions so that he's at a decent distance from my face.

"Kaito, what I said sounded so messed up… I'm sorry… maybe… I don't love Piko. Maybe… I'm just lying to myself and I don't know what's true anymore… Maybe-"

"Gumi, stop," Kaito says, looking up at me, his eyes solemn, "I can't stand to see you like this. I wanna see the happy Gumi, alright?" he nods, his hand stirring the nerves in my cheek as it brushes across. "That was the Gumi I fell in love with."

"Maybe that Gumi was a lie too," I choke, closing my eyes. "Kaito…"

"I'm listening…"

"Can I ask you something…?"

"I'm listening…"

"What makes you happy?" I ask, forcing my eyes up at him. He takes a moment to think, his scarf weaving throughout his fingers.

"You," he finally decides.

"Other than that."

"Ice-cream," he adds. I swallow.

"Can you take me to get some ice-cream?" I ask, a smile shining as it burns through my frown, playing hide-and-seek with my sadness.

"Sure, but, what makes you happy?" Kaito asks, leaning forward.

"I-I… I'm not sure anymore," I sigh, collapsing into a heap in his arms. He positions himself so that his arms wrap around me. "All I know… is that I don't have to pretend to be happy for you, right?" I look up at him, our noses now centimeters apart.

"No, Gumi, never pretend to be anything for me, okay?" he assures me, lifting my chin up with two fingers.

So, I can stop pretending to love you?

Of course, I don't say this aloud, I simply dip my head down and back up again, letting him pull a strand of my hair back behind my ear.

"Thank you… Kaito…" I murmur, not able to pull any more words out of my tear-stained lips.

"So… I'm guessing you still don't want to do anything today, do you?" Kaito commiserates. I nod. "Yeah… I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier. You didn't have to go through with that if you didn't want to," he adds. "I should really learn to listen to you more," he sighs after I don't answer.

"Yeah… uh, thank you for putting up with my bipolar-ness," I try a laugh. He grins as well, though colors of sadness still shine through his eyes. "Look, and you don't have to pretend to be anything for me… if you're sad, don't pretend to be happy just so I'll be happy. It'll only make me feel… weak," I sigh.

"Weak…?" he asks. I nod.

"I'm glad we talked. I feel like… I can really trust you," I say. Suddenly, his eyes grow large, and then they relax with a smile. What was that about…? He seemed almost… afraid. Why would he be afraid anyway?

"Yeah… me too," he says, his eyes locked on mine. I give a reassuring smile.

"Hey, I'd better go," I sigh, pushing myself off the couch. Anything to get away from Kaito… I need a break…

"Where?" he asks, starting to stand up as well.

"I-I… I've got summer work to do," I lie, "Grades like these come with a price!" I giggle, my Scottish accent returning.

I walk out of the room, too afraid to turn back for any reactions. Instead, I keep my head forward, pull up the green argyle stockings that were guiltily bought with Piko's money, and play with my hair in between my fingers. He looked almost afraid… my thoughts echo, why would be afraid of all things?

Possibly… he's pretending to love me too.

I let the piece fit in the puzzle as all the thoughts quit their buzzing and resolve into the clear truth. Gumi, he doesn't actually love you, a voice says. He's just putting on that stupid mask so that he can get what we both know Miku won't give to him. He's… he's dangerous- more than I'll ever be. But… why would I let myself pretend without a reason, when he does have one, no matter how terrible?

Maybe it was intuitive- possibly a part of me was warning myself not to truly love him… I let out a sigh. This has to end now. I turn around, sliding against the back of the wall in preparation to enter the room. Instead, I swallow down the words scratching at my throat and slide down against the wall to the hallway floor. But when he wiped my tears away… The look in his eyes… it had to be true.

But the most dangerous thing I could ever let myself do…

Is fall in love with him.

Goodnight, sleep tight! Don't let the Baku bite!