A Light in the Dark

Another big thank you to my beta Alex Skywalker!

Chapter 3

As Jason held Dick to him he tried to figure out just how to help Dick first. He knew that if he could help Dick then maybe sticking around to help the others wouldn't be so bad.

"So am I staying or going?" Jason asked, though he already had it clearly in his head that he would stay and help Dick, whether he admitted it or not.

"What?" Dick asked lost in the new found brotherhood Jason was being so accepting of.

"How. Are. You? I know you. " Jason let go yet still held on to Dick's shoulder to get a good look at his face as he continued. "You are probably trying to keep both Gotham and Bludhaven under control. Keep your job at the Bludhaven P.D., keep the Bruce-is-still-alive charade up, which involves meetings at Wayne Enterprises, and of course keeping the house and its occupants in order. Any one of those things could be too much for one person. And you, Golden Boy, probably thought you could do it all at once. News flash: you can't. Even short shit notices you can't."

"It ….has been difficult."

"That's all I needed to hear, Dick." Jason saw Dick faintly smile. "Besides if I have to go through and show mushy shit over this then so do you."

"I don't know what to do next." Dick said, ignoring Jason's last comment, as he walked back to the computer chair and flopped into it. Jason followed close behind. "Hell I don't know what to do now. I don't know what to do after next I …..I just…..don't know." Dick put his face in his hands and openly sobbed. Jason watched Dick fall apart again, inwardly begging for some way to handle this.

"When was the last time you ate?" He finally asked.

"Huh?"

"And slept."

"That's not what I mean; I'm talking about Gotham and Wayne Enterprises and-"

"I know what you meant but how can you do any of this if you aren't eating and sleeping? Because you clearly aren't. Throw me a bone here; how do you expect me to help Tim if I can't even help you admit you aren't taking care of yourself."

Dick knew he was beat. "It's like I can't even remember to do it. I have so much…..responsibility…I can't even remember to eat, to sleep, to do anything. Maybe that's also why I called you here." Dick was still sobbing.

"Well I'm not even going to be showing my face at Wayne Enterprises; that would be a lot of explaining, wouldn't it?" Jason half chuckled. "But, I can help with patrol and some of the house stuff, alright? That's all I can promise right now."

"Ok. But…don't fight with them. Just ignore Damian; he is throwing out his taunts as a way of just keeping some normalcy I think."

"Ok, no promises, but I think we are done in here," Jason said pressing the button to turn off the massive computer. He easily prevented Dick from stopping him.

"But I still have-"

"To eat and sleep and deal with things."

Dick took a deep breath as a way to try to keep the hyperventilating at bay and put his head in his hands again. Jason couldn't tell if he was rocking or swaying in the chair.

"Come on up and at 'em." Jason said as he tapped Dick's shoulder. Dick stood and took all of three steps before he swayed. He fell halfway into Jason before Jason caught him around the waist. Jason looked at Dick, shocked that he would run himself down this much. The hero was pale and squinting his eyes shut as if to block out the dizziness.

"Whoa. Whoa ok. That's wasn't cool." Jason swung one of Dick's arms around his shoulders. "Do I have to carry you up these stairs or can we just walk together?"

"Walk." Dick sniffled, still not in control of his emotions.

"Good. I was hoping for that option. I'm getting you into bed and getting Alfred to make you something to eat - which you will eat even if I have to feed you and please don't make me feed you."

Dick smiled and even chuckled, finally. It was short lived, however. As they slowly went up the long, narrow stairs up to the house Dick went back to sobbing. "Dick, calm down. It's going to be ok. We'll figure it out. Just….shit…ask for help once in a while."

Dick raised an eyebrow at Jason and said nothing.

"What? Don't look at me like that. I can ask for help too."

The raised eyebrow remained.

"Sometimes. I…well….can we just get up the stairs." Jason heard Dick's breathing increase. Jason didn't want Dick going into a full blown panic attack. "Breathe Dick." Jason reminded him. Dick couldn't remember to eat and sleep and now he can't even remember to take a deep breath.

Dick's arm remained over Jason's shoulders and Jason's other arm rubbed small circles on Dick's back as a way to try and calm him down. Jason remembered it was actually something Dick would do to calm him down when he was younger, much younger, before he….the memory brought tears to his eyes and too many bad memories that accompanied it. Dick…Focus on Dick. Jason starting asking frivolous questions to Dick; what he wanted Alfred to make, if he should expect Damian to try and sneak out to patrol, and anything else Jason could think of until they reached Dick's room.

When they got to Dick's room Jason allowed Dick to flop onto the bed. The older man fell to the side, his head hitting the pillow, and Jason thought he might have fallen asleep right there. Tears still ran down Dick's face, with mixing with other fluids running out of his nose. Jason rummaged through Dick's drawers without hearing complaint from Dick and found a sleep shirt and sweatpants. He put them on the bed next to Dick and knelt down to face to face with his brother to make sure he was awake and could hear him.

"Dick, I put some clothes on the bed for you to change into. Do you think you can handle that while I get Alfred to make you something to eat?" Jason asked. He was met with slightly opened eyes and a small nod. Jason reached for a tissue on the nightstand and wiped Dick's face.

Jason didn't see Dick make a move to get dressed. "Come on, Dickie boy, get dressed for bed." He pulled Dick up into a sitting position, pulling the cord out of the back of the Nightwing suit and unzipping the back of Dick's uniform. Jason remembered wearing the Nightwing costume: unzipping the back to get out of the costume was a bitch and a doubted Dick could have handled it in his state. Jason walked to the door as Dick started to pull down the top portion of his uniform. As Jason exited the room he looked back one last time and saw Dick's bare check and arms. Multiple bruises and bandages littered both and his ribs were taped on the right side. He would probably have to check that later as Dick failed to mention it to him. Typical.

'Damn it Dick why do you have to be so difficult?' Jason thought, knowing Dick has probably thought the same about him several times. The door hadn't yet shut when Dick called out to Jason.

"You aren't leaving tonight, right?" Dick said keeping his head down.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you're staying here tonight, right? I just…I don't want you to leave after what you've heard. I just …want you here…ya know." Dick raised his head meeting Jason's eyes. Jason could see the pleading in the eyes alone; Dick wouldn't have had to say anything. He truly was desperate.

"Don't worry, Golden Boy, I said I was staying and I will. Get dressed and then get some shut eye while Al makes you something to eat."

Jason exited the room and headed downstairs to find Alfred tinkering away in the kitchen.

"My word! Master Jason!" Alfred exclaimed, pulling Jason into a hug. "It is good to see you here. Have you spoken with Master Dick?"

Jason returned the hug, breathing in the familiar scent that was Alfred. Pine scent, Aftershave, and a small hint of cleaner that was just so Alfred hit Jason's nostrils and finally Jason felt like he was home.

"Hi Al. I talked to Dick. He's upstairs getting ready for bed and I was just wondering if there was anything I could get him to eat?" Jason asked smiling. Jason thought if he could just keep smiling then he could keep the tears at bay.

"I shall make Master Dick's favorite soup. Would you like a bowl for yourself Master Jason?" Jason nodded. "I am quite pleased you are here," Alfred continued. "I am also quite please that Master Dick is finally agreeing to sleep and remembering to eat something. I imagine I have you to thank for that."

"It wasn't easy Alfred. I know where he gets that damn stubbornness from."

Alfred put his head down at Jason's statement, waiting for the water to boil. Memories of Bruce flooded through Alfred's mind and Jason could see it all over his face. Jason felt bad for not realizing what he was saying. Jason walked over to Alfred and put an arm around his shoulders. "How are you Al? It's good to see you. You hanging in there?" Anything to try and make up for his earlier mistake.

"My heart is heavy, Master Jason, but it is good to see his legacy live on in the souls that still inhabit this house. In the young man I see standing before me." Alfred said looking up and patted Jason's cheeks. Good ole Alfred. The Butler had a way of looking at Jason and making Jason feel like he never did a wrong thing in his life.

"This place would fall apart without you, Alfred. Be sure you count yourself as one of those souls in which this house inhabits." Jason reminded making quotation marks in the air and smiling at Alfred who returned the gesture. "Speaking of other souls in the house, where are the others?"

"Master Tim is upstairs in his room, asking to be left alone. I would honor that request as there was a….disturbance earlier," Alfred said tilting his head and glaring at one small child sitting on the couch playing a hand held video game device. Damian. Of course. Jason turned to acknowledge the source of the….disturbance.

"Damian."

"Todd."

That was the only response Jason got and probably all he was going to get. Jason sat himself on a kitchen stool and talked with Alfred until the soup was prepared. Jason declined Alfred's offer to take the soup upstairs, saying that he still had to talk to Dick.

Jason carefully balanced the tray, laden with two bowls and two glasses of soda, as he entered Dick's room. Dick wasn't in his bed but his whereabouts were soon answered as Dick walked out of the bathroom hair wet and freshly showered and wearing the clothes Jason had previously laid out for him. Jason set the tray down on the bed and beckoned him over. Dick had a large bed, large enough for them to both sit and eat on.

"Shower felt good."

"I bet. Did you re-tape your ribs? Do you need Al or me to look at anything?" Jason asked.

"I'm good." Dick said and immediately noticed the same look Jason gave him from earlier when he said he was okay. "Jason, I'm fine. If my ribs or anything bothers me later I will immediately report to either you or Alfred. I swear." Dick crawled under the covers and pulled the tray closer to him. Jason then kicked off his shoes and sat cross legged on top of the covers and started eating.

They talked about everything and anything and about what was going to happen. They agreed to talk to the boys about Jason staying and what was going to happen tomorrow. Dick told Jason the details of Bruce's death; how it happened and why. Details that didn't at first seem important to Jason, but when he finally asked, Dick answered.

As Dick recounted the events of Bruce's death the tears came again and Jason handed Dick a tissue, as they were closer to Jason. Jason didn't want Dick to start hyperventilating again when he was so close to getting him to get some sleep.

"Dick, this is going to sound cliché and corny as shit but….. one day at a time. One step at a time. If you start to take on too much at once you'll just end up right where you were when I found you. We'll figure one thing out at a time tomorrow and the rest will take care of itself. Don't worry so much about it."

Dick nodded then suddenly looked alarmed. "Where's Tim and Damian? They didn't go out, did they?" Dick started to get out of bed but was halted by Jason's hand on his arm.

"Tim is in his room for the night requesting to be alone because Damian apparently started some shit with him. Alfred played referee. Damian was teaching Alfred how to play some video game when I came upstairs."

"Poor Alfred." Dick sighed as he sat back in the bed. Jason nodded his agreement. "Since when did you become the voice of reason for this household?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's the shock of the news. Maybe it's seeing you like this. It probably won't last though, so don't count on it."

"Just….try, ok?"

"Yah."

As they continued to talk Dick's eyes soon fluttered shut and Jason caught the bowl before it was dropped and set the tray full of the dishes on the floor. Jason reached over and pulled the covers up over Dick, thankful he was finally asleep. Once he was sure Dick was going to stay asleep for a while, Jason took off his jacket and grabbed the smaller throw blanket at the end of Dick's bed. He then situated himself in the large love seat chair against the wall. Jason didn't want to have to deal with the memories associated with his old room and didn't know what rooms were being used by Tim and Damian.

'Better just to stay here with Dick.' Jason thought 'Ya know, in case of nightmares…damn nightmares.'

Unfortunately, nightmares would only be the start of what was to come.