Author's Note: Haha, fun Dean guilt, because why not? And WinchesterRifle, haha this is for you. Please enjoy, and review. Thanks!

Dean, after changing his clothes and washing his hands, pressed both hands against a smooth wood table in the Men of Letters bunker for support. He could feel the Mark trying to control him, the urge for the First Blade battling for control. Unfortunately, our addiction and withdrawal expert is in the hospital because of me. Dean quaked. He was abandoning his brother at some hospital by being in the bunker. But what if I go there, and I snap? What if later on I hurt Sammy again? What if the medics weren't close enough and...Dean clenched his fingers on the edge of the table to keep his balance. But if I stay near him, I can protect him. From everything but myself. I know from the way his eyes looked when...it happened the only thing I have to protect him from is myself. And Sammy is always priority number 1. But after I know he'll be okay... Dean sprinted out of the base, to the Impala, away from the calling of the Blade and closer to his brother. Woe to any who was in his way.

...

"So...how is he?" After thirty minutes of boring hospital procedure crap, Dean was dangerously close to exploding from anxiety or frustration, probably both. Dean could almost hear the Blade and the Mark whispering in his mind.

"Sam Winchester, you said that's his name? And he was stabbed?" The nurse double-checked. Dean nodded, resisting the urge to jump over the counter, beat up the guy, and look it up himself. "He's in surgery. Been about...an hour now since he first arrived. Hasn't come out yet. So go sit in the waiting area." Dean headed for the nearest chair, and focused on what information he had just received. He's in surgery, which is bad. He's been in for a while, so there's probably a good deal of internal bleeding. Dean felt massive amounts of guilt weigh on his shoulders. What else can I know? Come on, focus! He'll be in surgery for a while? Or maybe he won't make it out. The Mark seemed to be amplifying fratricidal Dean's fears, making him itch for the Blade's relaxing power. No, I won't leave Sam. I promised him I was gonna stay with him. The Mark and the Blade caused this, no way am I ever using them again! Dean's anxiety manifested itself as his leg tapping nervously against the ground. Damn it, I need news! Please let it be good! The family member of another patient noticed Dean's behavior, and gave a wan smile.

"I'm guessing it isn't looking good?" The man seemed sincere enough, and Dean was in no mood to get in an argument. He simply nodded, still tapping his foot and drumming his fingers on his thigh. The man gave Dean a dip of his head in return.

"My older brother's in there with brain cancer. It... it isn't looking to good." Dean looked at the man's bowed head. Dean couldn't imagine watching anyone he loved slowly deteriorating like that. One of the perks of hunting is you die fairly quick. But you also don't know it's coming, and don't get to say what you wanted to say. "I am sorry about your brother, not that I can imagine how painful it is to be with him, knowing he'll be dead soon." Oh, wait, Sam does. And I do, I guess. I mean, I knew I was going to Hell, but I never really thought about how Sam felt during that. I just needed him there and strong and okay. Dean closed his eyes, battling the painfully happy memories of the time they'd spent together. He may be a bitch sometimes, but he's my bitch.

"If you don't mind my asking, what's your person in for?" Dean opened his eyes, wondering to tell or not to tell. Why the hell not? "He got stabbed twice." . By me, I might add. "My little brother. Though you wouldn't know it by his height." Dean was assailed by memories of Sam teasing him for being shorter. Oh, God, I'd do anything to hear him tell me it's alright, that I don't have to worry about him. But I will always worry for him.

"Damn. That sucks. Was it bad?"

"No, just got stabbed in the stomach twice." Dean didn't make any effort to withhold the sarcasm. The man went quiet.

"I'm John." Oh, how appropriate. Damn, the universe is just full of cruel irony today. Sadistic bastard.

"Dean," He responded, wanting John to be quiet. Dad died died in a hospital like this, and I don't wanna think about Sam dying here...another Winchester I get killed.

"Sometimes prayer helps. Or a book." John was really getting on Dean's nerves. Dean was a little irritated, mainly due to withdrawal, and his brother being in the hospital because of him, and Dean was very tempted to snap at John, but didn't.

"Not religious. I don't care for reading either. How can I when he's in there?" Dean pointed in the general area of the surgery room. John sighed.

"Well, pal, sitting out here fretting isn't gonna do much either. Any word from the doctor on him?" If there was, I wouldn't tell you. You're a nosy son of a bitch.

"No. That stupid receptionist isn't much help either." Something you share with him, John. Dean began pacing. God, where is anyone who can give me some damn news? His prayer was answered by a nurse exiting the surgery ward. "Family of Sam Winchester?" Dean shot up and hurried over to her.

"I'm his brother Dean," Dean's heart was pounding. Is he alive? Dead? Lady...

"Your brother made it through the surgery, but he lost a lot of blood. There was a good bit of internal bleeding, and a lung collapsed, in addition to where the knife entered. Did the knife have jagged outcrops on it?" Dean shrugged, not wanting to think of that blade right then and there. "Well, we're wondering if you'd be willing to give a donation of blood. Your brother's blood type is listed as AB-, which is a universal receiver, but I prefer him have some blood from a relative." All Dean could think about was how Sam had the same blood type as their mother. Then he recovered his senses and readily accepted her offer.

"I'm O+. Where do I give my blood?" She smiled, and ushered him into a room. Dean walked in with not the least bit of hesitation.

...

Two pints of blood later, Dean was hoping they'd let him see Sam, if only for a minute. But Dr. Emily Brown said Sam was going to be kept ready for surgery in case internal injuries had somehow avoided detection or started up somehow. That was two hours ago. Lucky for Dean, John was gone when he was sent back. Dean began pacing, sure he would wear a hole in the floor.

"Dean? You there?" Dr. Brown called. Once upon a time, Dean might've flirted with her. Now, however, his heart was all set on his brother. Her tone sounded very unemotional, and that worried Dean.

"Dean, your brother is able to accept visitors. He won't wake up for a while, but you may stay with him." Dean possibly could've hugged her. Or kissed her. Instead, he begged to have her take him to his brother. She led him with a forced smile.

When Dean opened the door to his brothers' room, his breath caught in his throught.

"Oh, God," What have I done?

Author's Note: Cliffhanger. And oh haha fun!