A/N: I'm in the middle of writing an epilogue for You and Me, an Allegiant Alternate Ending, and I had some free time, so I thought I'd start this one! If you enjoy love triangles, you'll love it! It starts off during the period where Tris and Tobias were broken up in Allegiant. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 1: Falling in Love
My footsteps echo through the empty hallways of the Bureau. I shiver, and zip my jacket up to my throat. My eyes are still adjusting to the dark as I venture deeper into the hallway. My body still feels heavy with sleep. Only the adrenaline from the dream keeps me going.
When I reach the end of the hallway, I lean my back against the wall, and slide to the floor. I breathe through my nose. In, out. My hands shake. One, two. I wrap my arms around my knees, which are pulled into my chest. In the dream, I was standing in an empty field, much like the one in my fear landscape. Ahead of me, Tobias stands alone. His face is blank. I call his name, but he doesn't answer. Above me, I hear flapping wings thundering in the sky. I look up to see a swarm of crows descending towards the ground. But they're not diving at me. They're headed straight for Tobias. My heart rate elevates, and I try to sprint towards him, but somehow my feet are planted to the ground. The crows scream and swarm around him, submerging him in a sea of black. I scream his name over and over and wake up in a cold sweat and my throat raw. I close my eyes and bury my face in my hands.
"Tris?" a voice says. I look up. Matthew stands in front of me. "What are you doing up so late?" I ask him.
"I could ask you the same question" he replies. I shake my head. "Couldn't sleep"
"Bad dream?" he asks. I nod. He buries one of his hands in his pocket, and scratches the back of his neck with the other. "It's not getting an easier" I say softly.
For a few minutes, he just stares at me in silence. Then, he offers his hand to me. "Come with me" he says. "I have something that might help."
I don't question it. I grab his hand and he pulls me up. I stare into his dark blue eyes. Something inside me bursts with energy and all of a sudden I am overcome with dizziness. No, I think. Hand in hand, we walk down the hallway, and for the first time in weeks, I feel safer than I've ever been.
I sit on the edge of Matthew's bed in his apartment. He comes toward me holding a clear plastic cup. It contains a dark blue liquid. The color reminds me of Tobias's eyes. "Here" Matthew says. "It's a serum I developed. It helps with the dreams." I tip the contents into my mouth. It sends warmth through me. "Thank you" I say.
He sits beside me, and puts his arm around my shoulders. I have to clench my teeth to keep from smiling. He can't like me, I think to myself. He's just helping me.
"Was it about your parents?" he asks me.
"No" I tell him. "It was actually of Tobias."
Matthew takes his arm off my shoulders, and locks his eyes onto mine. "I used to get nightmares myself" he says. "Still do." I look at him. "Of who?" I ask. He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. Not anymore." I nod. "It's hard to let go" he says. "Hard to let go of someone you love even if they did a horrible thing." I nod again, and think of Uriah's motionless body in the hospital bed.
"Everyone makes mistakes" I say. "I mean, we're all human, right?" Matthew nods, and drops a hand on my knee. "Humans are complex. Genetically damaged or not." I nod in agreement. Matthew's fingers brush idly over my cheek.
"Tris" he whispers. "What Tobias did was wrong. He not only put your life in danger, but he didn't trust your judgments and accused you of being jealous of Nita." He leans in closer and grabs my chin. "From the first moment I saw you, I knew that whatever it took, I would hold onto you and protect you even if it meant risking everything I had already loved."
He kisses me lightly on my nose. "You're all that matters to me now. And I promise as long as you're with me, you will never feel the pain of betrayal or loneliness."
He presses his lips to mine, and kisses me firmly. Too soon, I think. But I can't stop myself from grabbing a fistful of his shirt and running my fingers through his hair. The absence of Tobias's love is unbearable. I'll do anything to stop it.
"I don't want to go too fast" I whisper. He smiles, and even in the dim lighting I can see his white teeth flash. Matthew tosses my entire body on the bed and kisses my neck. I should tell him to stop. But it feels so good.
All of my life I've wondered why people fall in love. What do they see in other people that make them so special? Maybe they don't see anything at all. Maybe they're just looking for a way to feel loved to fill an empty spot in their heart.