Chapter 21

"So where are you going now?" June mewed as she watched Shadowpaw from her Twoleg's fence. Shadowpaw shrugged and looked at her high on the fence. The tom didn't want to leave the company of June…but he only agreed to stay one night, and it was now morning.

"I'm not sure…" Shadowpaw mewed. "I'll probably live alone…be a loner and have my own territory in the forest."

June tipped her head to the side and jumped down gracefully from the fence. "I hate to see you go so soon." She mewed. "I only just got to know you."

"I'll be fine…" Shadowpaw lied; he would be lonesome when he left. "I'll stop by to see you every once in a while." He force smiled.

June shrugged and smiled up at him. "You promise to have territory close to me?" She purred; her long, silky tail raised high.

"I'll try." Shadowpaw mewed, rubbing cheeks with June.

"Doesn't sound too reassuring," June joked. Shadowpaw smiled and turned away to find new territory. June frowned and watched as Shadowpaw waved his tail goodbye and disappeared into the forest, her whiskers twitched in hope that he would turn around…but he never did.

Shadowpaw already missed June, but he needed to find a new home in the forest, somewhere no one would find him…accuse him of murder. Shadowpaw shook the memories away and padded faster, his heart aches and his spirit flaming.

Branches and brambles struck him as he trotted through the forest, but Shadowpaw ignored them and padded until he found a large tree with loose roots. Shadowpaw clawed at the dirt and found that it was soft; he dug until his body was able to fit into the newly made den, Shadowpaw sighed and curled himself into his den…it didn't feel the same, knowing that his Clanmates where far from him. The black tom missed his friends…missed his mentor…missed his mother.

The morning bird song chirped cheerfully, so cheerful in fact that Shadowpaw wondered if anything like what's happened to him happens to birds too. The black tom sighed and imagined his life before Scar was killed…before Scar abused him…before Mistyfern hated him.

"I had a dream about fighting cats…with no faces!" Shadowkit whispered. Mistyfern purred and pressed her muzzle to her son's cheek. The little black kit yawned and tucked his face closer to his mother. "They were scary…"

"I'm sure they were my little warrior." Mistyfern whispered. Shadowkit flicked open his eyes when he heard Rainkit roll into her side and Airkit gave a sleepy grunt. Mistyfern licked the top of Shadowkit's head. "Go back to sleep."

Shadowkit nodded and pressed his small nose to his mothers. "I love you, Mistyfern."

"I love you too, Shadowkit."

Shadowpaw yowled in anger and swiped his claws in the air; his heart ached at the memory. He didn't want to think of his mother, the one who loved him, then accused him, then neglected him. He didn't like the feeling it left in his heart…it felt bitter and stinging.

"Why StarClan, why," Shadowpaw hissed to the sky. "What did I ever do to deserve this? I've been nothing but loyal to you, but you ruined my life! Why didn't you just let Scar kill me, huh? Why must you let me suffer?"

Shadowpaw darted back into the den and let his anger swell inside of him as a light rain dabbled the earth. Shadowpaw no longer felt sadness for the loss of his mother, but fury. He hated the visions of her, her voice, her everything…Shadowpaw utterly despised his mother! The rain began to fall harder until the thundering sounds muted his thoughts.

Looking out into the rain, Shadowpaw sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't need her anymore…"