Kim felt like she was sleepwalking through her day at the clinic. Thankfully, there was little to do except paperwork, but she could not keep her mind from running through the events of their night in front of the fire. It had been four days earlier, but it felt like it had just happened.
She had pushed too hard and had hurt him, she thought, the guilt returning. Shane had held her in front of the fire, but she could sense his frustration at his physical limitations. And then there had been the mornings since. Each had been virtual torture, being so close to him, yet being unable to make love to him.
Just that morning, when she had woken, Shane had been spooned behind her, one arm wrapped around her side. He had whispered just want he wanted to do to her in her ear and she had nearly melted, but then she had remembered his condition and had pulled away with an excuse about having to get to work.
Now at work, Kim wished for all the word that she was back in that bed.
"Stop it," she chided herself. "It's just a matter of time."
Time we may not really have, she added silently. Shane's trial was scheduled to begin in just three weeks. Each day that passed was one less that they had together.
She knew Shane had some kind of plan up his sleeve, but it scared her that he had not told her what he intended to do. She was sure it had something to do with John, who often seemed to be at he house. Kim had asked him to tell her, but he had said it was something she needed to discuss with Shane. That had only confirmed in her mind that Shane was up to something.
"You have to trust him," she told herself. They had spent so much time apart because they would not trust one another. Kim had to stifle her fears. If Shane had a plan, she had to trust in him, and in their love, that it would bring them through whatever might happen.
"Kimmie," came a voice from behind her.
Kim turned around and spotted her mother in the doorway of the clinic. "Mama . . . Hi. What brings you by?"
"Oh, I was just visiting Mrs. Steinway," Caroline said. "They had to do some more surgery on her hip. And I thought I'd come by and see how my daughter was doing."
Kim smiled. "I'm fine."
"How's Shane?" Caroline asked. "Everything still going okay, isn't it?"
Kim frowned slightly at the tone of her mother's question. "You sound like you think it isn't."
"No, that's not it at all," Caroline said quickly. "I'm just happy that you and Shane are back together."
Seeing that her mother seemed sincere, Kim nodded. "Everything's just fine." Except for the fact that we can't make love yet.
"Speaking of Shane. . . ." Caroline paused momentarily. "I was thinking about Thanksgiving. It's only a few days away and, well, should we move it to Shane's house? We did that for Christmas that one time."
That one time before I lost the baby, Kim thought, then forced the memory aside. "No, Mama. That's not necessary. Shane's getting stronger. Do you know he walked almost all the way to the lake yesterday with Andrew?"
"That's good to hear," Caroline said, with a slightly sad expression.
"What's wrong?" Kim asked.
Caroline shook her head. "It's nothing really. It's just hard to think of Shane being able to walk to the lake as some kind of accomplishment. He's always been so strong."
"He's recovering." Kim smiled. "I know he's looking forward to Thanksgiving and seeing everybody. He's been pretty isolated at the house."
"He's not angry at us?" Caroline asked. "I mean for not visiting. You know we would have come, but, well, we know how proud he is."
Self-conscious would have been the word Kim would have chosen, but she understood her mother's point. Shane probably would have felt awkward and embarrassed if her parents had visited, but only for a moment.
"And with things awkward between you until the last few days. . . ." Caroline added.
"It's okay, Mama," Kim said. "I don't think Shane's upset. And he'll be fine with the party being at your house. In fact, it's probably better."
Caroline narrowed her eyes. "Better?"
"I'm just thinking with John and Roman both being there," Kim explained. Caroline had mentioned her plans to invite John and Isabella so that he knew he was still considered a part of the Brady family. "Your house is more like neutral territory right now. Roman hasn't been very forgiving toward Shane."
"About that article?" Caroline asked.
Kim nodded. Not very forgiving was a bit of an understatement. Shane had repeated for Kim what he had told Roman. It had been the first time that he had explained and it had surprised her that Shane had never told the story after they escaped from Stefano's island. What Shane had told her only added to her anger with the ISA. Once again, they had played with Shane's loyalties, even going so far as to use his brother as leverage.
The thought sickened her.
"I'm sure things will blow over." Caroline shrugged. "It's hard for Roman right now."
"But it's hard for John, too," Kim said, her voice rising. "And Shane's been through hell. He nearly died, and he still has those damn charges hanging over his head. Roman needs to understand that it's not all about him."
Caroline turned away and walked toward a bookshelf. "I know he does, but you can't blame him for being angry. And he doesn't know John, Shane, and Steve like we do, and he didn't see what the family went through, so how can we expect him to really understand?"
"I know," Kim said. What Caroline was saying made sense. Roman was still trying to reconnect with a world that was completely different from the one he had left behind seven years earlier. But that did not excuse his behavior entirely. She looked back at Caroline. "Did you talk to Roman about Thanksgiving?"
"I did, and he promised he would be on his best behavior."
I just hope he keeps his promise, Kim thought. Roman was notorious for being unable to control his temper. He was very much like Shawn in that respect.
"Everything will be fine," Caroline assured. "It's been so long since the whole family was together. Not since before you left for Europe." She smiled wistfully. "Just think of it, Kimmie. All of our children and grandchildren under one roof and, even more, you'll all be there with people you truly love."
Kim had to smile in response. It sounded idyllic. "That does sound wonderful. And you're right, this family does have a lot to be thankful for."