All right, so this chapter is absolute shit in my opinion. So just bear with it, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 7: Demons

Four months go by, and I still barely exchange more than a few words with Matthew. I spend most of my time with Tobias. Traveling to Chicago, watching as the factions crumble. Tobias tells me he plans to move to the apartments that are being built just north of the river. Even though we were told by the Bureau that we were welcome to stay in the apartments they provided us with, both of us know that it is only temporary.

Tobias and I sit on a bench facing the river as the sun sets. A warm spring breeze fills the air. Tobias drops an arm around my shoulders.

"When I move, I want you to come with me" he says.

I lace my fingers with his. "Tobias" I whisper. "You know I want to. But I have to wait until the DNA test results come back. That way we'll know for sure."

My stomach is still sore from where the doctor injected the needle to extract the child's DNA so that it could be matched with Matthew's and Tobias's.

I went this morning. The doctor told me the results should come back tomorrow or the day after that at the latest. I also got to listen to the baby's heartbeat.

It wasn't the first time I got to, but the times before that, I couldn't hear it very well over the sound of my own heartbeat pounding through my ears.

But this time I really listened. It sounded like a regular heartbeat, only not as strong. The doctor said that it was healthy; the gentle thump-thump told her so. Out of all the wonderful things I have heard in the world, that heartbeat was the most beautiful thing I have ever listened to.

"I know" Tobias says. "But is Matthew ready? If it's his, does he really want this?"

I turn to him. "I think the more important question is are you ready, Tobias? Are you more afraid that this child is not yours and that it might affect our relationship or are you more afraid that it is yours and that you might turn into your father?"

Tobias flinches when I say that. He loves me, and I know that one of his biggest fears is losing me.

But I also know that one of his other biggest fears is his father, and turning into the person his father was. But after all he's been through; I find it impossible for him to treat a child that way.

"I don't know" he says.

The next morning, I wake up and get dressed. I stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom and pull a tight, black shirt over my head. That's when I see the bump. The unmistakable swell in my middle officially announcing to anyone who sees me that I'm pregnant. I put my hand on it and stroke my fingers over it. Nothing. Of course the baby wouldn't be moving this early.

Someone knocks on the door. "Come in" I say. Tobias opens the door.

"Good morning" he says, kissing my forehead. "Morning" I reply. "Have you seen Christiana anywhere? I wanted to ask her something."

But he's not looking at me. His gaze has drifted down to my swollen abdomen.

"Was that there last yesterday?" he asks. I shake my head. "No" I say. "It happened over night."

"Oh" he says. He keeps his eyes on it for a few seconds. "What do you need to ask Christiana?" he asks.

"Nothing important. I just wanted to know where she was moving after all of this" I say.

"I think I overheard her talking about moving into an available apartment on one of the higher floors of the Hancock Building yesterday with Cara."

I raise my eyebrows. "I didn't know that there were apartments in the Hancock Building. I thought it was a business building like the Hub."

Tobias nods. "Well now that the experiment is over things are changing."

I look down at my stomach.

"Everything is changing" I say.

Later that day, I meet Christiana outside the Bureau.

"Tobias told me that you were considering moving into an apartment in the Hancock Building" I say. She nods. "Zeke and Shauna told me they want to move there. It has an amazing view" she says. "There are actually a lot of apartments available. You should move there."

I smile. "Thanks for the offer, but you know I can't."

Christiana looks confused. "Why not?" she asks.

"Because I want to be close to Tobias. And with his fear of heights…" "Oh" she says. "I get it."

I nod, and look down at the bump. "And with a baby" I say, "I don't think I'd want to be somewhere too high up."

Christiana stares at me, her eyes wide. "You're keeping the baby?" she asks, sounding surprised.

I stare back at her. "Well, what else am I supposed to do?"

"Adoption" she suggests.

I stop, shocked. I haven't considered adoption.

"No" I say. "Christiana I can't give my child to someone else."

"Well wouldn't that be best" she says. "You said it yourself, Tris, you don't even know if you can provide for it."

"It's so selfish" I say angrily. "Giving up my child because I screwed up? I'd only be punishing them."

"Well, wouldn't it be even more selfish to keep a child you know you can't take care of! Wouldn't you rather give it the best life it can have? And your life, Tris, by keeping this child you might be ruining your own!

I am surprised by the anger in her tone. I feel tears well up in my eyes but I don't care.

"I thought you were Abnegation born, Tris" Christiana says quietly.

Something inside me boils with frustration. She's supposed to be my friend, and she's not making this any easier for me. Hot anger courses through my veins and I clench my teeth.

"How dare you" I say. "How dare you say all those things to me. Well Christiana, let me ask you, have you lost your entire family in less than a year? Have you ever been responsible for so many deaths of people you love?" I am nearly shouting. "Maybe I want to keep this child to make up for all my losses! To somehow heal the burning hole in my heart! I already feel terrible about his, and you just want to make me feel worse!"

I turn around and storm back inside. Christiana doesn't call after me. I don't expect her to.

Once I'm safely inside the Bureau, I allow the tears I've been holding back spill over. I'm afraid that I lost my best friend. And in times like these I could really use a friend. But I'm more afraid that she's right. Am I being selfish for keeping this child?

Once the tears have stopped, I continue down the hallway to go up to my apartment.

"Tris" a voice behind me says. I turn around. The doctor who usually sees me is standing there. "Hi" I say.

"I just wanted to let you know that the DNA test results came back" she says. "The baby is Matthew's."