A/N: So here's the lengthy chapter we promised you. We hope you enjoy!
Chapter 5
Nervously, Brennan knocked on her father's door. He lived in a fairly sleazy apartment building and she didn't see him often. The truth was, she wanted her mother to be there. But her parents separated when she was fifteen, and her brother had gone with her mother while she moved away with her father. Two years later, her mother had died. The split-up of their family had left Brennan an introverted, quiet girl, who lived mostly inside her own head. She hadn't been able to communicate her feelings, especially not with a therapist in front of her. Angela was the only one who knew how to get her to open up.
Max frowned when there was a knock on the door. He got up from his arm chair and turned off the TV. Barefoot and with a bottle of beer in his hand, he walked over to the front door. He looked through the peephole and instantly opened the door. "Tempe! It's been a while, come on in, please."
Feeling unsteady, she followed him into the apartment. This had been no place for a girl to live in, and it still wasn't. She sat down on the couch. "Could you please put away the beer," she asked him fiercely as a wave of nausea hit her upon breathing in the stale smell.
He frowned but did as he was told. She didn't stop by often and he missed his little girl terribly. He got up, put the bottles of beer into the trashcan and opened a window, then he returned to the couch.
She moved to sit close by the window, trying to catch the clean air. "I'm in trouble, Dad," she said, her throat already constricting.
His whole body went on alert at her words and he leaned forwards. "What kind of trouble?"
"I - I went to the masked ball and I met someone... I didn't plan to, but I went home with him. And now..." She couldn't speak past the lump in her throat anymore. She couldn't look at her father, she was ashamed and she didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.
He might have had a couple of beers already but he wasn't drunk yet and therefore it was a really simple conclusion to get to. "Oh my God... Temperance, please tell me that I'm wrong. That you're not pregnant."
She hid her face in her hands and couldn't contain her tears any longer. "I don't know what to do. I can't find him. I don't - I don't even know his name. I didn't mean to -"
"Please, just stop talking, now," he told her as he tried to wrap his mind around the words she was speaking. He took a deep breath and spoke up. "So, you're telling me that you took a stranger home with you, let him take advantage of you - without even knowing his name - and now you find yourself pregnant with his child. And you have no way to find the father? What on earth where you thinking, Temperance?"
He was only making her more upset, but then, she'd been stupid, it was her own fault. "We used protection," she whispered, hardly daring to defend herself, "And I didn't mean to do it. But it happened."
"Yes," Max sighed deeply as he looked at her. "It did happen. What do you plan to do about it?" He could see she was feeling miserable. He felt the urge grow to go over to her and so he did. He sat down on the coffee table and reached for her hand. "Do you want to have an abortion? Or do you want to keep it?" He knew which would be the answer he preferred, but he couldn't make these decisions for her. All of a sudden she was an adult woman in his eyes and he would allow her to make her own decisions. Even if he didn't agree with them.
"I don't know." She was so scared, but she didn't tell him that. She didn't want to make herself any more vulnerable than she already was.
"Tempe," he cupped her cheek in his palm and waited for her to look at him. He had made a lot of mistakes when it came to raising his children, but he had been doing his best to make up for it. She didn't stop by very often, so he was having a hard time to prove to her that he had changed, that he wanted to be there for her in her hour of need and when she finally looked up at him, he gave her a sad smile. "You're not alone. I'll help you. And whatever happens, you'll be fine."
She shook her head. "It doesn't feel that way."
"I know it doesn't," he soothed, "but if you're old enough to have intercourse with strange men, you're old enough to deal with the consequences. Did you go and see a doctor?"
His words hit her hard. "Yes, Angela took me. Look, Dad, I have to go. I have to turn in a paper later today and I haven't even started." She rose from the couch and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Her fragile state-of-mind didn't permit her to stay in her father's presence any longer. For some reason she thought her mother would have been able to be more helpful. God, she missed her. But she needed to stop crying now or she'd never stop.
"Temperance, stop." Max walked over to her and took her by her shoulders, gently but firmly. "I may not approve of your actions, or the consequences, but Tempe, you're my daughter. My baby girl. I love you, you know that, right?" His words were soft and slowly, he drew her to his body, hugging her. "I love you. You do know that, don't you?"
She let him hug her, but didn't hug him back. She needed support right now. She knew how stupid she'd been, Max didn't need to tell her that. "It's fine, Dad. You're right; it's my problem. I won't bother you with it. I need to go back, now." Before she'd get too upset to leave the apartment.
"You're not fine, but that's okay. And Temperance, I'm sorry." He felt that she was pushing him away and so he let her. "I know I haven't been a very good father these last few years. And I'm truly sorry for that. I may be disappointed in the situation, but that doesn't mean that I won't support you. I'm here. No matter what you need. I just need you to know that."
"Okay. I'll let you know what I decide." The stupid tears wouldn't stop and she went to the kitchen to get herself a tissue. She shouldn't have come here. She'd hoped for comfort, but he couldn't give it to her, not really. For a moment she surprised herself by wishing 'Zorro' would be here, supporting her. But then, he didn't care about her, either. He'd disappeared after taking her virginity. God, she felt ashamed. "Goodbye, Dad," she said and quickly kissed his cheek. Air, she needed air!
Max felt bad that he hadn't been able to provide her with any comfort and so he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed the phone and called his son. As soon as he had Russ on the phone, he told his son that his sister was upset and that she needed his support urgently. Russ knew how troublesome their relationship was and Max was aware of how much Russ and Tempe had relied on each other during the divorce and afterwards. Hopefully, she'd be able to allow Russ to comfort her. "Thank you, Russ. Just one more thing. Whatever she tells you, don't judge her. I think I did enough of that for the both of us."
Unbeknownst to the pending arrival of her cherished brother, whom she hadn't seen in years, Brennan was on her way back to campus. She didn't want to take the subway because she didn't want people to look at her. She could not stop crying and eventually she walked into a park and found a quiet spot where she could lean against a tree, sitting on a root, hugging her knees to her chest. The best night of her life had turned the rest of it into a nightmare. She couldn't think straight; all she could do was cry and feel alone. After a long time, she grew too tired to cry any longer. She pulled herself up from the ground. Her legs were stiff with the cold and she walked to the nearest subway station, where she got on a train and went back to her dorm. She wouldn't write any papers today. She'd stay in bed and cry and cry and cry.
By the time his sister had finally arrived at her dorm, Russ had been sitting in front of her door for nearly 40 minutes. His concern for his baby sister had skyrocketed, but since he really didn't know the campus or the city, he had decided to wait it out. When the doors of the elevator finally opened, all he had to do was take one look at her and he knew something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. Her eyes were wide and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. When she didn't move, he held out his hand to her. "Marco," he told her softly, encouraging her to get out of the elevator.
She took his hand but was too shocked to answer him. She quickly stuck her key in the lock and turned it so they could go inside. She wanted to collapse into him, but after their father's reaction she didn't trust her brother's. She took off her shoes and coat and then sat down on her bed.
He kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in his. "I don't care," he blurted out. "Whatever it is, I don't care. I love you and I will help you no matter what." He couldn't stand to see her so fragile, so vulnerable, so lost. She was his baby sister and she was strong. She always had a reply waiting for you and she would not take any bullshit from anyone. "I love you. No matter what," he whispered and stood. He sat down on the bed next to her and drew her in his embrace. "You're safe. I'm here, Temp."
"You wouldn't say that if you knew what I did. Did Dad call you?" she asked him in an upset voice.
"Yes, he did. And no, he didn't tell me what was wrong. And I'm glad that he didn't. I'm here to hear it from the horse's mouth," he told her softly. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge."
She shook her head. "I don't want you to know. You'll hate me."
"I could never hate you. Not even if you'd done the unthinkable. So let's see, huh?" he encouraged her as he tightened his embrace around her, not willing to let her go. "Did you murder someone?"
"No, of course not," she said, finding herself leaning into his strong, familiar body. Her brother had always stood up for her, and she for him. She really needed his physical comfort. She couldn't accept it from many people, but she could from him.
"I didn't think you had. Did you hurt somebody physically?" She shook her head again. "Did you steal?" Another shake. "Arson? Drugs?" Two more shakes. "I think we've covered the worst ones, wouldn't you agree? Why don't you give me some credit here and tell me what's going on, Temp?"
She opened her mouth to tell him, but before any sound could come out, she burst into tears again. "I'm so glad you're here," was all she could manage. She wanted to tell him what happened, but her throat was completely squeezed shut by her emotions. So she took his hand and rested it on her lower abdomen. As she did so, she sat upright, not wanting him to have a chance to push her away.
"Awe, Temp," Russ lovingly caressed her lower abdomen as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back to him. "Are you pregnant? Is that it?"
She nodded into his chest. "Don't be nice to me," she said. "I don't even know his name."
His blood ran cold for a moment. "Temp, he didn't... it was consensual, right? He didn't..." he had to swallow, but he needed to finish this sentence, just in case that she had been forced, he wanted her to have an opportunity to tell him. So that it would be a simply yes or no question, so she wouldn't feel trapped by the dilemma of how to tell him that she had been forced. So she could let him know without reliving it all if it had been non-consensual. "Did he rape you?"
"No," she shook her head, "he didn't. I told him I wouldn't sleep with him multiple times, but eventually I still did. I wanted to, in that moment. We used protection..." She held onto her brother tightly as more tears fell. "I'm really sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, Temp. These things happen." Tenderly, he rubbed her back. "You used protection, there wasn't more you could do," he soothed her raw nerves.
"Just this once, I let myself go. Obviously I'm not someone who gets to do that. And now I don't know what to do. I can't find him anywhere. I shouldn't have trusted him. He seemed different, but he just took what he wanted and now he's disappeared."
"You don't need him, Temp," Russ was quick to react. "You've got me, dad, your friends. We will all help you, no matter what you decide. And the people who don't - if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve to be in your presence for one minute." He kissed her cheek and gave her a warm, brotherly smile. "Is it okay if I crash here tonight?"
She nodded. "I'm really scared, Russ."
"What scares you the most, Temp?" Russ asked softly as he brushed her hair behind her ears.
"That everything will change no matter what I decide. I never made a plan for this. I don't know how to deal with it," she told her brother. If only he knew how every single one of his words and gentle touches meant to her in that moment, when she most needed someone to be there for her.
"You're right, no matter what happens, your life will change. That doesn't mean, however, that you don't have a say in this. You get to choose. I know you don't have a plan for this, but that doesn't mean that we can't make one. Do you understand what I'm saying, Temp?"
"I guess. I don't know, my brain hasn't been working properly since the dance."
His sister had always been lost if she couldn't approach a problem rationally and he knew that this would be the most difficult situation to compartmentalise from. After all, how do you do that when your dilemma is inside of your body? Russ simply nodded and kissed her cheek. "Can you trust me for a little while?"
"Okay," she said, "I mean, yes, of course I trust you."
He smiled at her. "I know you do, I just wanted to be sure." Russ got up and sat down in front of her. He pulled her shoes off and reached underneath her pillow, where he knew she kept her nightgown. Gently he placed it in her hands, encouraging her to change into it. He got up as well, turned around and started to untie his shoes. He kicked them off and unzipped his jacket. He took that off as well as his sweater and hung them over the back of a chair. He was happy that he had decided to keep his sweatpants on instead of changing into a pair of jeans. "Have you changed?" When she confirmed it with a soft yes, he walked over to the door, and made sure it was locked. As soon as he was certain, he walked over to her, still seated on the bed. He threw back the covers and sat down on the bed. "Come on, sis, let's get some rest." She settled on the bed and Russ lay down next to her. He tucked them in and reached for her hand. "Come here, little one," he teased her with the nickname he had often given her when they had been young teenagers and he had already experienced his grow spurt, while she had to wait for her own.
That elicited a small chuckle from her, and for a few moments she forgot about the burden she carried and crawled into the safety of her brother's arms. "Don't you think I'm stupid?" she asked him. "Or a slut? Irresponsible?"
"One, I know you're not stupid," he huffed, as if he was insulted on her behalf by the very idea. "You're a genius. Two, now, you are not a slut. You decided that according to your standards, it was okay to share your body with him. I'll admit it's a bit weird to think of my sister as a sexual being," he teased her again, "but that doesn't make you a slut. You had a one-night-stand. And unless you are having those twice a day, no, you are not a slut. And whether or not you are irresponsible is yet to be decided. You have decisions to make, but I know - because I know you - that you will make responsible decisions. I know that you will struggle with making them, but I know you will make the right choices for yourself."
"You have a better image of me than I do, at the moment," she told him. Inside, his kind words soothed her.
"No, I have the same image of you as you do, it's just that yours is blurred by fear and anxiety and possibly regret. Things will clear up soon enough. I'll help you do that." He kissed her forehead. "You are my only sister. And I will do whatever I can to help you and keep you safe and loved. No matter what."
"Thanks, Russ. That means everything to me. Polo." She kissed his cheek and got comfortable in his arms, just the way she used to when they were children and she was afraid of monsters or bad dreams.
He held her closely to him and rubbed her back. Eventually, her breathing evened out and he closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Temp. Sleep tight," he smiled and finished the silly children's rhyme. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."
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