AN - SUNDAYYYYYYYYYY! Haha sorry it's late on Sunday, but Sunday never the less! I hope you like this chapter, it's a bit short, but I really love it actually. I think it's sweet.

Titled Counting Stars because of Counting Stars by One Republic.

Thanks so much for all the attention you've been giving this story it's an absolute joy, thank you all so so so much I love you all 3 Make sure you tell me what you think about this chapter too :)

I started a new Ereri fanfiction called You and the Sun it's a 1950's Greaser AU soooooo check that out if you ship Eren and Levi from Attack on Titan?

Thanks soooooooooooo much again, ily and enjoy!

tumblr: oswwinoswald or aloisearltrancy

((Again this fic is completely unbeta'd so forgive any mistakes but feel free to point them out so I can change them UNLESS you're reading on fanfiction because I'm sorry but it makes to much effort but you can read it on ao3 if you want me to correct things.))

P.S. You and the Sun is only on AO3 atm. You can find me by googling oswwinoswald ao3, and it's on my profile.

Chapter 8 – Counting Stars

God please help me through this because I know I'm gonna fuck this up, bless it be, a-fucking-men. I said a final prayer as I positioned myself against the chain-link fence behind the pool practice was being held at that day to wait for Haru. He always exited from the back. Always. He hated the attention that came with leaving from the front, so I was counting on catching him alone.

I glanced at my watch. Practice had ended twenty minutes ago, which meant Haru should be coming through that door any second now, in fact he was probably just getting out of the shower as I counted the seconds.

Jesus fuck, this was actually happening.

I was engulfed in a rage of thoughts, I imagined all the ways I could screw up, all the things I could say wrong, all the responses he could give, I was in the middle of imagining Haru brutally beating the shit out of me when I heard his voice, "Rin?"

I looked up, my eyes meeting his, "H-Haru…"

He stepped towards me and suddenly I had no clue what to do, "What happened last night."

I shook my head, "I did something stupid."

Haru cringed like he was waiting for some sort of insult.

"I ran."

He seemed surprised by my confession, "What?"

"I shouldn't have done that…it was a dick thing to do. God it was stupid, but I was scared…I mean literally fucking terrified…and I didn't know what else to do."

Haru crossed his arms, "Why were you scared?"

I shrugged, "There are too many reasons to list if I'm being honest…"

"You kissed me."

I looked at my feet, "…I know…"

"Why did you do that?" he swallowed coming closer till we were standing not even arm's length apart. "Why did you do that, Rin?" he sounded desperate now, "What the hell were you trying to do? What exactly did you aim to achieve by that?" he took a deep breath, "Did you know?"

My eyes snapped up to meet his, "Know what?"

"Did you know that I liked you? Is that why you did that? Did you think it'd be funny?"

"Haru..." he didn't really think I'd do something like that…did he?

"Because it isn't. I know I don't talk much, and I'm a pretty boring person to be around, but it's still not funny. I'm not okay with being the bud of a joke…" he sniffled, "I'm not…I mean…I'm a person, and I don't get it—you're straight and" he was clearly freaking out, the look in his eyes pained me,"…why would you—" I grabbed him by the shoulders, but he kept talking.

"Haru!" I shouted pushing him up against the chain link fence, trying to get his attention, it worked he fell silent, "Haru, I'd never do that to you! I kissed you because I wanted to! Not because I thought it'd be funny! I'd never fucking do that! You're not boring! Not to me. You never have been, and I'd never ever make you the bud of a joke, tell me you understand that?" My voice was sharp as I tried desperately to get my point across.

He looked up slowly, "You w-wanted t-to?" I felt his body relax under my touch. I took a deep breath, calming my nerves, my hands released his wrists, grazing over the muscles of his arms and neck till they reached his face, I dragged a reassuring thumb across his cheek. He was so beautiful. God I didn't fucking deserve him in my life let alone was as anything else.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, this was it. "I've wanted to since I was eleven." He opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off, "I-I need to say this…" I took another breath, "I'm in love with you Haru. I have been since before I can remember…and I-I'm sorry…I didn't tell you…there are reasons…lots and lots of reasons I don't really want to think about right now, but you should know…I kissed you last night because I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't take it. You-you're so fucking beautiful Haru, and last night you looked so sad…and I didn't want you to be sad, I know, I completely fucked that intention over, but I swear Haru, I swear I just…I had to. I've loved you too much, for too long, and I just need you to know."

I looked at him breathlessly, it was over, I'd said it, my part was done, I dropped his gaze and looked down at our cheats my breathing had picked up, but I could see his was calm, I tried to make mine match his, I needed to be calm. I needed to be calm, I needed to be cal—

"Rin, look at me." My train of thought ended right there, when I finally looked up at him I was greeted by Haru's lips, my arms wound around his waist instinctively, my heart beat so quickly I was sure it was going to burst out of my chest, but somehow through my eradicating heart beat I managed to match his movements, I felt his cool fingers twist into my hair, as his tongue trailed against my bottom lip praying for entry which I allowed, this time no one fought for dominance, everything was simple, balanced, easy. I put every single emotion into this kiss, and I could feel him doing the same, and when we broke apart neither of us could breathe, so we didn't, we stood together, him pressed into me, me pressed into him, his head under my chin as I placed soft kisses over his scalp. I don't think either of us knew what to say, I knew I still had a lot of things to explain, I knew there was a hell of a lot to work out, but at that exact moment I didn't really care, finding a cure for cancer was lower on my list of important things, because to me nothing was more important than the way Haru's arms felt around my waist.

"I'm an idiot." The realization was far too true. Everything I'd done so far to keep my secret had been stupid, everything I'd thought had been stupid, it was all wrong. All of it. I couldn't even attempt to be happy if I wasn't being myself. I couldn't even act like it, but now I didn't have to.

"Yeah." Haru looked up at me his blue eyes sparkling, he planted a chaste kiss on my lips, "I know."

I laughed, "I'm not the only one though, come on Haru, you thought it was a joke? Seriously?"

"Yeah well you can be an asshole sometimes."

"When have I ever been an asshole to you?"

He paused, and then laughed into my collarbone, "Shut up." I smiled into his hair.

"Told you."

He yawned.

"Are you tired?"

"I stayed up all night waiting for a certain red head to come home."

I cringed, "Sorry about that."

"Where'd you even go?"

I hesitated a little bit before admitting, "Hanamura's."

I felt him tense, "How'd you end up there?"

"She found me sulking around on the other side of campus at four am. I sort of dumped all my shit on her…she took it better than anyone else I'd told…"

"You probably crushed her dreams."

"Hm?"

"I mean look at you, you're gorgeous, she was probably already planning your wedding…"

I snorted, "Well she's gorgeous too so I doubt she'll have any trouble finding someone else."

"Whoever they are they won't top you. Literally or figuratively."

"I don't know they might top me literally."

Haru nudged me in the ribs, "Jesus Christ Rin. This is not what you say to the person you just confessed your undying love to."

I laughed, "I wouldn't say undying."

That earned me a sharp jab to the ribs instead of a nudge, Jesus Haru could hit hard when he wanted to, I actually had to step back and catch my breath, "Again not something you say to your boyfriend."

My heart imploded and I'm pretty sure my eyes got a million times wider, "Boyfriend?"

Haru's blush was probably the cutest thing I had ever seen, "Maybe…I mean…if you want…"

I could literally feel how huge my grin was, ear to ear probably, it felt like if I smiled anymore I'd rip my skin, but I was sure that wouldn't stop my smile from growing, I was actually pretty positive nothing could, I grabbed his hands and pulled him into a kiss, "I think I might like that idea."

"Good." He kissed me again.

…

The next three days were sort of a blur of happiness and catching up on swim practice. Haru and I kept going to the pool at night like we usually did, except this time whenever I felt like kissing him I didn't have to force the thoughts away, this time I could just kiss him.

My boyfriend Haru. My boyfriend. Haruka Nanase my boyfriend. My boyfriend. I was pretty sure if I had a diary at this point there would be at least three whole pages filled front and back with sentences like that since it was pretty much the only thought I'd had for the past seventy-two hours.

We told our roommates first Nitori, Nagisa, and Makoto, congratulated us with big hugs and happy smiles and Rei who looked entirely confused about the whole thing looked at us and said with a completely straight face, "I thought you two were already a thing."

So I guess you could say that it went well.

We'd told Gou second, and by we'd I meant I'd, I'd told Gou second and that conversation had gone something like:

"Gou, uh I need to tell you something."

"Okay, shoot."

"No I mean it's pretty serious."

"Is someone dying?"

"Uh…no?"

"Then it's not as serious as you're making it out to be."

"But it is—"

"Just tell me."

"Gou I'm gay."

"And?"

"And what? That's it. I'm gay."

"Rin I'd have to be an idiot to think you were straight. I mean let's take a look shall we, you're an Olympic swimmer, you have ace abs, pectorials, multifiius, and iliocostals, I've seen girls fawn over you, pretty girls, like girls from the ladies swim team, volley ball players, a certain track star, but you never ever fawn back. Like you notice, we know you notice because of your insanely huge ego, but never reciprocate. It screams gay on many levels. Also I also always sort of thought you'd steal Makoto from me to be honest so…yeah…"

"Not Makoto."

Her eyes had widened, "But someone?" she raised an eye brow, "Who?" she squeeled, "Finally someone I can talk about cute boys with! Is it Haru? Please tell me it's Haru, Haru and you would be so cute!"

I blushed, "Uh…"

"It is! Oh my god I'm amazing! Okay so have you told him?!"

"Uh…"

"You have! What did he say?"

I thought of how he'd barely said anything, "Uh…"

"Oh my god! Are you together now then?"

"Yes?" I finally had an actual answer.

"Oooo kill em'!" she said doing a little enthusiastic dance.

I cringed, "This is the last time I tell you something major."

She composed herself and offered me a kind smile, "Thank you for telling me something I already know, big brother."

And then I'd left because one: I'd accomplished my goal, two: I had a boyfriend to go see, and three: she was scaring me.

Now Haru and I were laying somewhere in the grassy hills of the massive golf course, it was midnight, I wasn't looking at the stars, but I could see them reflected in Haru's eyes and they were beautiful, though not nearly as beautiful as Haru. Nothing ever was. How the fuck did he do that? Some part of me said there was some Snow White bullshit going down here, but another part of me told me I was a dumb ass so I ignored the first part.

Haru's thumb was drawing lazy circles on the back of my wrist as our hands lay melted together over the green neatly kept grass. I don't know whether or not he noticed me staring, but he didn't seem to. In fact he looked like he was deep in thought, I laughed to myself, it was a good look for him.

He turned his head to look at me, apparently my laugh had escaped my realm of thoughts, "What's funny?"

"Nothing really, it's just," I shot him a sideways smirk, "Lately I've been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be, but baby I've been praying hard, said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars."

Haru broke out into a fit of laughter, "You're ridiculous."

"I know, but at least it's a good song."

"Top forty of 2014."

"Indeed it was," I pulled my iphone out of my pocket scrolling through the songs till I found it, "You know the only time we ever danced you were drunk off your ass." I said climbing to my feet.

He looked at me like I was asking him to help me hide a body, "Dance? Rin…no."

"Oh come on Haru."

"No."

I hit play, and smiled, one of the reasons I'd loved the song was because of how quickly it started, there was no super lengthy intro, just lyrics, just like that. "Please."

"Nope."

I grabbed his hands, and pulled him up, for someone who didn't want to dance he sure as hell didn't put up much of a fight, I pushing his arms up around my neck, leaving my hands to linger around his waist. We swayed to the music, I whispered the lyrics into his ear.

But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard, said no more counting dollars, We'll be counting stars…Yeah, we'll be counting stars.

I spun him as the music picked up and he laughed, he'd been doing that a lot lately and I loved it.

Haru was even more beautiful when he laughed, I pulled him close again, "I'm a terrible dancer." He whispered quietly.

"So am I…but it's midnight, and we're two gay swimmers standing in the middle of an Olympic golf course so I figure, if I'm gonna embarrass myself I might as well do it here with you dancing to One Republic, rather than at a wild party to Fergie."

He blushed, "Oh god I danced to Fergie?"

I laughed, pushing the image of him kissing the girl out of my head for the millionth time, "It was fergilious."

He leaned his head against my shoulder trying to hide his deepening blush, "I made a lot of bad choices that night."

"Everyone made bad choices that night."

"That was the night I almost kissed you."

"Almost being the operative word." I said my mouth quirking up into a confident smile.

"I wish I had."

I thought back to that night and shook my head, "It would have made things a lot more difficult."

"That's probably true." He said, "But I still wish I had."

"Could have been interesting."

"How?"

"Well aside from being out first kiss, you were really wasted, who knows where things could have gone?"

"Are you saying you would have taken advantage of me?"

I laughed and kissed him on the forehead, "I'm not saying I wouldn't have."

"You're such a charmer Rin." He whispered.

"That's what they all say."

He rolled his eyes, and I kissed him, properly kissed him, pulling him against me, letting the music drown out to be replaced by the white sound that always came with kissing Haru. Jesus if this was what love felt like I never wanted out of it that was for sure. I bit at his lip, and he parted his lips, My tongue lapped over his, he pushed himself into me, claiming dominance which I found he enjoyed doing, he arched his back using my shoulders to hoist himself up and lock his legs around my waist, his lips leaving mine for a few seconds, I immediately missed them, and made a soft moan of thanks when his lips found mine again, I smiled into the kiss. How I felt right now was the definition of happy.

He was like a drug, I took in as much of him as I could at a time, I never tired of him, and when I was kissing him I never wanted to stop.

I felt him smile against my mouth, I think that was the best part. The part where I wasn't the only one happy about it. The part where he was smiling just as much as I was. That's what made it the best. That's what made me the happiest.

I smiled, pressing one last kiss to his lips, as the last few cords of the song drifted out.

"I love you." He said quietly.

It was the first time he'd said it. Of course he already knew how I felt about him it was sort of the reason we were together after all, but he'd never said it back, not that I'd expected him to. I mean I knew he loved me on some level. He was my best friend and I was his so the love was already there it was just unspoken.

A smile engulfed my features, "I love you too," I scoffed, "Even if you are a shitty dancer."

"Take it or leave it."

"Take it. Always."

His smile was soft, his eyes drifted upwards to the sky, I watched the stars fill his eyes again, watched them dance through the sapphires that belonged to the man I loved, there he was, beautiful and stoic, and eyes full of stars. My Haru.

I placed a kiss on his jaw line, and found myself looking up at the stars too.

Just five months until Rio. Five months until we started counting stars.