Ch33

Honor

Right off the bat, I'll start by stating the fact that I'm a piece of shit girlfriend. I don't know what got into me! What's wrong with me?! Punk didn't deserve that!

I fucked Randy again. What happened to me promising myself I wouldn't fall for him again? As I walk in through one of the backdoors I search around for the road agents then I search for Punk. I end up walking in circles before I end up back on his bus. I don't shower and get changed into my ring gear until I go and pull my luggage out of Punks bus and load them back onto Randy's. The whole time I get ready Randy is watching me smirking to himself all calm and amused. All types of excited energy is radiating off of him and all I feel is sick. I cheated on Punk and he was so good to me, I'm so sick because it didn't even hurt to hurt him so bad.

"Wipe that godforsaken smirk off your face Randal," I say flopping down on the couch next to him. I crowd my hands around my face in pale efforts to stop the tears. I don't want to be happy with Randy this way. When did everything become so complex? I don't want everyone else to be right. It doesn't work that way…it shouldn't.

"Look at it this way," Randy pulls me to his side kissing the top of my head, "you can move on and stop lying to both him and yourself. You don't have to lead him on anymore."

"I never was!" I yell standing up letting the tears fall, "I actually do care about him, I still do! I love him but I'm not in love with him not the way he seems to be with me!"

Randy eyes me doubt clouding his features. He can doubt the words coming from my mouth all he wants but he won't ever know how I feel about Punk. He wasn't there and it was partially his fault I went to Punk.

I take his silence to go on to shower then make my exit to hair and makeup, I've got to wrestle tonight so I just really need to clear my mind. Mya and I make pointless chatter about twitter wars when I get in the chair. When Mya pins the last curl to my head a pair of tattooed hands cover my eyes.

"Hey Pooka." I try to shake his hands off of my face then I try to pull them away. Punk just laughs at me as I give up and let him drop them himself. "Did you have fun with Randy? I assume he brought you back. How do you girls walk in those heels they don't look to fun?" He says pulling me in for a quick kiss. "Good to see he brought you back in one piece."

"Yeah, I know..." If only Punk knew how much fun I had with him he'd be ready to kill both of us. The longer I stand here talking to him the more he'll notice.

"I got the boys on board tonight," he says kissing my pulse point hoping to get me in mood, "maybe we could get a little alone time before time to leave…" Mya is pretending to be occupied by her phone while trying not to laugh at him.

"No, Punk… I'm not really into it." I say trying to let him down easy.

"What's wrong?" He furrows his eyebrows and mashes his lips together in a hard line. He's relaxed holding me as he looks down at me with concern on his face. No doubt he notices my kind of awkward half hug.

"We need to talk." Just like that I see what every one's been saying to me, months ago he asked me why I was with Randy. For months, I've been making up excuses as to why I'm with him. I love Randy. I love his cool demeanor, I love that he's so rough around the edges. I love that he's so stern with me, he's not afraid of hurting my feelings. He's sweet and selfish. He's kind and ruthless. He's dominant and pompous. He's not afraid of wanting and getting what he wants. He's not afraid to push my buttons and say I told you so. He's brash, rough and in your face.

"What are we," I cut him off and he scowls at me for doing so. "Honor, what…"

I stop him again this time shaking my head no. I can't even look at him right now. I feel diseased. "We'll speak after my match up with Kaitlyn tonight."

"Whatever, I'll see you later." He rolls his eyes and leans in for a kiss. I hesitate to return it turning my head so that his lips land on my cheek. "I love you…" He pulls his phone out of his pocket to hide the fact that my lack of affection kind of hurt.

Everything is all fuzzy and shadows are dancing at the edge of my blurry vision. I've got the feeling of floating and my stomach is queasy, the mind-blowing pain in my skull is unbearable and it makes me want to cry.

Voices seem to be floating with me, they're very irate too. One is the now not so smooth northern lilt that I love so much, "Doc she's going to be okay right?"

The other is the monotone, gravely, voice with the southern influence, "I'm going to kill that incompetent bleached blonde hulk."

First thing I open my eyes to see is the soft core porn that airs late night on HBO, the orangish light letting the dark room glow its hue. I roll over and find Randy next to me sleeping, snoring. I feel like I've been sleeping for days plus I've got a stabbing pain in my head.

"Ermm… ahhh! STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!" I fall back into the sheets holding my head and kicking my legs. The bright light and loud noise coming from the couple on the TV is really hurting me. My head feels like someone's driven a spike through it with a hammer.

"Honor…" Randy says groggily tossing and turning. He bolts up when he hears me scream at the loud woman on the TV giving her version of an orgasm. "HONOR?! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I forgot to wake you up and give you the aspirin."

Randy scrambles up off of the bed cursing and grumbling meanwhile I'm on the verge of tears, "AHHH! Shut up you stupid slut! You're not even fucking her right!" I'm yelling at the TV rolling around the bed clutching my head trying to squeeze the pain out.

I don't know when Randy got his shit together but the noise cuts and the TV is off. Now the only problem is the room lights even though they're dim.

"Honor…"

"Go away," I whine. His voice hurts.

"No, take this. It'll cut the pain," I try to calm down a little I take the bottle of whatever from him and take the pills from the pill bottle top in his hand. I chuck the pills and (I think) water back then fall back on the sheets and groan.

The pills slowly cut some of the pain down as it starts to numb I open my eyes and glance around the room.

"Fuck, my head… I need to change—oh," I mutter looking down at my chest. I'm wearing Randy's t-shirt (the one I always sleep in) and my underwear. I have to take a second to drink in my surroundings… I'm at home? I'm home. How'd I get home? Why am I home? And Randy is with me? Huh?

"When did we get here? Why are we here?" I look around my room to find the giant stuffed frog I always sleep on. Yes I'm twenty one sleeping with stuffed animals. Randy watches me and chuckles as I wrap my body around the stuffed animal.

"You got a grade two concussion thanks to Kaitlyn." I stare at him confused; she must be the bleached blonde she hulk he was talking about. "She held you up showing off her new move, ended up losing her footing and barely was able to protect herself and you coming down. You guys knocked heads together… She's out with both a head and a shoulder injury."

"Is that why you called her a she hulk?" Randy blushes himself and tries to laugh it off.

"Why do you remember that?" He says reaching over and running his fingers through my hair.

"I don't…know. Your voice is the last one I heard before I blacked out. How long was I down for?" I'm drawing a memory blank on my match and everything but the little dizzy spell after it. I remember everything before it. I was with Randy before all of this happened. "Why is Punk not here?"

"You were out of it for about two days. You couldn't fly so we had to drive. He couldn't get out of the shows for the next three weeks. I asked Vince for time off and he granted it." My phone goes off, Dare by Gorillaz plays that's Punks ringtone. I grab the infernal contraption from my nightstand and Randy grimaces.

"Hello," I speak softly.

"Hey Honor. Got something you need to tell me about?" I shut my eyes to eliminate the light because Punk is speaking loudly into the receiver. I get no 'how are you feeling' or hellos his voice is a cold sound.

"Yes." Why lie to the man? By the amusement on Randy's face I bet he stirred the pot.

"Great! Let's hear it." Punk's smart-assing me this isn't good. After being with him for half a year and knowing him for a year I realize this is how he is when you've pissed him off.

"I cheated on you… with Randy," I hold my breath waiting on him to scream at me or hang up or something unpleasant.

"I know." What?

"What?"

"I said I know." He sounds numb. Randy studies me as he lies on his tummy at the bottom of my sleigh bed.

"I'm so sorry. I… I'm such a terrible girlfriend." I sit up, admittedly way to fast and the room starts spinning.

"Is he there with you?"

"Yes."

"Figures. Well, Honor I'll see you when you get back." Punk hangs up the call and I fall back on the bed thankful he did.

Randy takes my phone and turns it off, "Fuck him. You're in no shape to deal with his bullshit right now."

He's right because my head is still hurting like my skull is being cracked open. I start to get tired again and that's when Randy shakes gently to keep me awake. He holds me while reading a book on his phone waking me every once in a while. This sucks!

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