Justin Taylor waited restlessly for his mother to pick him up outside the school still shaky with raw emotion. His eye throbbed where Chris Hobbs had punched him but the physical pain paled in comparison to the utter humiliation he had just experienced with Mrs. Peterson-Kinney. If she didn't know he was a fag before, it was certainly obvious now.
Justin's head was still unable to process exactly how the events of the last forty-eight hours came to be. Two days ago he was a mildly popular, securely closeted, gay kid. He wasn't a jock but he had his niche at the school and things were manageable. He had made a conscious choice to not come out until college but he was secure in his own sexuality. He liked cock unquestionably. He definitely wanted to be fucked by one and all his masturbatory fantasies were of the homoerotic variety. Then yesterday he and Chris had this moment as he helped him clean out the equipment room. They were just talking and with this one longing look; Justin just knew. Of course he heard that there was supposed to be this special intuition, a gaydar of sorts, but words couldn't describe Justin's exhilaration when he realized his had finally kicked in and it was picking up signals loud and clear. Justin saw how turned-on Chris was; that Chris's dick was just as hard as his own so he summoned all his courage and finally went for it.
He had gone to the coffee shop to meet Daphne later that evening still high from his hand-job encounter with Chris but Daphne had bailed when her parent's grounded her yet again for missing curfew. Justin sat there by the store window, staring across the street, thinking about his experience with Chris when he saw him: Brian Kinney- the Face of God. He lit a cigarette which Justin found amusing since he was still sweaty from his workout. He paced back and forth, waiting impatiently until the other man joined him on the street. His friend was a good four inches shorter, had dark-hair and was slightly effeminate. Everything about this other man screamed queer; so when Brian had tossed his arm around the shorter man's shoulder and walked like that back to his car and kissed him good-bye on the lips….Justin had just assumed he was gay as well. It was surely not a straight man move.
Now a mere day later; the two bleeps on his gaydar were both proven faulty. Or at least one, Brian's bleep, had to have been. C'mon married to his teacher, with a kid! Chris was more of a puzzle. After all he hadn't even tried to stop Justin's hand-job and he had definitely enjoyed it judging from the evidence he left all over Justin's hand. So today when Justin tried to suck him off in the locker room afterschool; Chris's fist was the last thing he expected to feel. Justin forced a smile as his mother approached in her Camry. He wondered if he would ever figure out this being gay thing; right now it seemed so hopeless and there was no one he could really confide in. He just knew he couldn't wait to get out of Pittsburgh, go to college and start living his life out in the open.
"Hey Sweetie" Jennifer Taylor said greeting her son warmly as he got in the car, "My God, what happened to your eye?"
Justin's hand instinctively went up to cover the bruise that was becoming more visible. "Oh nothing; It was an accident in gym class" he lied.
Jennifer shook her head in disbelief, "I wish you had called me. I would have picked you up earlier so we could get some ice on it before the swelling gets too bad."
"Mom, it's fine really. I wanted to know if we can stop by the store, please. I need some art supplies for a piece I'm working on. Just a small brush and some more black paint" Justin begged.
Jennifer sighed, "Justin I'm tired. Can it wait?"
"No, mom, the competition deadline is almost here. It really can't but we can go home first and I can drive over to the store myself" he hinted, his mom didn't let him take the car but on a rare occasion.
Jennifer looked at Justin with apprehension, "Just to the store and back and only to the Big Q. That art store you like is too far for you to drive alone."
Justin cringed; he hated the big box store. It was the last place he wanted to get his supplies but he really had to have the paint tonight so he agreed.
Justin raced to the driver side of the car as soon as they were in their driveway. This was only his third time taking the car alone and he loved driving, even if it was his mom's Camry. He pulled carefully out of the driveway and made a show of conscientious driving for his mom and once he was out of the neighborhood, he blasted the radio and sped off to the Big Q. Only he detoured from the Big Q two miles from his house and headed to the one a little further away giving him more time to drive.
As he pulled into the parking lot and entered the huge megastore, he navigated his way to the art section searching for the exact brand of black paint he desired. He spent fifteen minutes looking on his own but was starting to get concerned he had been gone for too long. His mom would never let him drive again if she found out where he had actually driven too. He tracked down an older heavyset woman who couldn't have been less helpful until he finally spotted another Big Q employee to help him.
Justin tapped the man who was bent over stacking shelves on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir, can you please help me?" Justin asked politely. It was always better to get what you wanted with kindness.
"Sure" the cheerful man spun around to face him, "What can I do for you?"
Justin stood there dumbfounded, he recognized him right away as the man that was with Brian outside of the gym. He glanced at his ID badge and had a name to go with Brian's friend: Michael. "Ah, um, ah…." Justin stammered.
"Hey wow just breathe kid" Michael laughed steadying the young blond by placing his hand on his shoulders, "Let me guess, you're looking for condoms?" It wasn't unusual for young men to be embarrassed to ask for them. Of course, he had never had to himself, his mom made sure his bathroom was always fully stocked well before he was even close to actually having sex.
"No" Justin finally asserted regaining his composure, "Sorry I'm looking for paint, um, Sennelier acrylic? You know, you look familiar, do I know you?" Justin lied, looking for a way to find out more about Brian.
Michael glanced around panicking that maybe he knew him from Babylon or Liberty Ave, "Um, I don't think so" he whispered and winked, hoping this kid would take the hit that he wasn't out at work. "We don't carry that brand of paint I'm afraid but there are other brands of acrylics in the hobby section, row 23."
Justin didn't know how to read Michael's wink. Is he flirting with me? "No, I um, think you may know, um, Brian….Brian Kinney" Justin persisted deciding to use the flirtation to his advantage.
"Oh Brian!" Michael sighed relieved, "Yeah Brian and I have been friends since high school. How do you know Brian?"
"Um, just from around" Justin responded vaguely. Shit how can I get more information without being obvious? "Um, are you off soon? Do you want to maybe get a coffee with me?"
Michael bit his lip nervously sizing the kid up; he was pretty hot but he looked really young, too young. Was he really asking him out? Michael noticed his coworker Fat Marley lurking around the aisle, eavesdropping. He needed to get this kid out of here before anyone overheard them. "Listen, um, what was your name?"
"Sorry, I'm Justin" Justin extended his hand to formally introduce himself, offering a flirtatious smile as added enticement.
"Yeah, I'm Michael" Michael responded.
Justin smiled nodding to this badge, "Yep I know. So, Michael, you off soon?" Justin did his best to be flirtatious but it just felt awkward faking it with this man who he wasn't remotely attracted to.
Michael glanced at his watch, he was off in about ten minutes, "Sure, twenty minutes, not here though, at Woody's? You know it?"
Justin nodded although he had no idea what Woody's actually was. Justin turned and walked away, cruising down row 23 and finding black paint that he would make due with. He walked back to his mom's car and picked up his cell phone. A quick story about needing to go to Daphne's for an English project and his absence at home was covered. He called Daphne quickly to ensure he was covered in case they called.
Daphne, hey it's Justin
Justin, hey, you won't believe what happened today!
Um, later Daph. I need a favor. My mom thinks I'm at your house so don't answer if she calls.
Ok, where are you really going?
Can you look up something for me on your computer?
Sure, I'm online now…what
Find out what Woody's is for me, it should be near Liberty and Tremont.
Liberty and Tremont, what are you doing down there? Oh my God, Justin…Woody's is a gay bar. Are you gay?
Shit it's a bar? So you probably have to be 21, right.
Yeah, probably
Shit, I got to go, I'll call you later
Ok, be careful; call me when you get home.
Justin hung up with Daphne and felt sick to his stomach. How was he going to get into a bar without ID? He sat in the car and waited for Michael to emerge thinking of an alternate plan. When Justin spotted him, he noticed Michael was walking to the street and not to a car in a parking lot. He decided to take a chance; he started the car and pulled up alongside him.
"Hey Michael" Justin called rolling down the window.
"Justin, I thought we were meeting at Woody's?"
"Get in" Justin motioned to the passenger seat, "I'm not really much of a drinker. Can we go to a coffee shop or something?"
"Yeah, the Liberty Diner is down the street" Michael said getting into Justin's car cautiously.
Justin and Michael took a seat in an empty booth at the Liberty Diner. Michael looked around for his mother trying to avoid eye contact with Justin. The kid was attractive enough, but not really Michael's type and he was feeling bad for agreeing to this. He was too young for one and Michael liked big muscle men; not twinks. He hoped that he wasn't leading the kid on by meeting him.
"So…" Michael started, "How do you know Brian again?"
"Don't you go to Spin Works?" Justin said, changing the subject, "I think I've seen you there with Brian."
That was the second time Justin avoided answering his question, Michael soon put two and two together. "Let me guess, you're interested in Brian" he smirked.
"No, um, of course not" Justin said unconvincingly.
"Ok, well just so you know kid he's straight and married" Michael clarified with a laugh "Trust me; I've tested this out myself thoroughly. If he was gay, I'd be with Brian"
Justin swallowed hard, "So you um, you're gay?" a question he had never actually asked another man before.
Michael laughed uncomfortably, "Of course. Wait if you didn't know, why'd you ask me out?"
Justin sighed sort of relived to have met an openly gay man to talk to "I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm really bad at this" he admitted.
"So Brian, huh?" Michael patted his hand to help alleviate his young friend's discomfort, "Don't worry you're not the first. Men, women…they all want Brian"
"He is really hot" Justin admitted.
"Don't I know it" Michael said, "He used to stay at my house all the time when we were kids. He was the first person, besides my mom, that I came out to. We did a little experimentation as teens but he was never really interested, if you know what I mean. I still held out hope for a long time and he's really comfortable around me and my gay friends so I thought maybe someday, he would have this epiphany. Then he met Lindsay, his wife, in college and she got pregnant with Gus. They got married and I was like, you know, case closed"
Justin nodded disappointed to hear what he already pretty much knew. Brian was straight and married to Mrs. Peterson-Kinney, although it was odd to think of his teacher in the context of her personal life.
"So how long have you been out?" Michael asked, "You can't be older than twenty, am I right?"
"I'm not really" Justin admitted, "I'm definitely gay, you know, but just still trying to figure it all out as I go"
Michael smiled warmly at the boy, "Well if you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener. Just to be clear I'm only offering to be a friend. You're a little too young for me, chicken"
Justin smiled broadly at the term which he took as an endearment and not an insult, "Thanks, um, you're not really my type either." Justin joked.
Justin took Michael's number on a napkin and stuck it in his pocket. He put a five dollar bill on the table to cover his coffee and headed to the car. Maybe Brian wasn't gay, but meeting Michael was a good thing. He finally had a gay friend to talk to and that had to be worth something.