Emily Freedman P.O.V.
I feel the sun shining through my window on the late September morning. I open my eyes and try to make sense of my surroundings. Oh. I'm in my room. Well, Christian's guest room. The clock reads 7:13.
My head is pounding from my hangover and mouth is extremely dry. I'm thankful to the kind person that left a glass of water and two Advil on my nightstand. My eyes are also swollen, which means that I've been crying.
Fuck. I told Christian and Ana about what happened with Steven. I have never told anyone about that. Not even The Asshole really knew what happened, and he lived with me. What was I thinking? They're going to send me away. They're going to think I'm damaged and that I'm a slut and that I'll create all sorts of problems. No one wants some kid with PTSD and an emotional disorder living under their roof.
A knock on the door interrupts my brief panic attack.
"Emily?" I hear Christian say on the other side.
I pull myself into a sitting position against my pillows and take a sip of my water.
"Um, come in," I call out, my voice hoarse from my crying.
He opens the door and stares at me for a second. He looks hesitant and I know what he must be thinking. Slut. Finally he comes in the room and sits at the edge of my bed. He looks shy and uncomfortable, something I've never seen before.
"Em, we need to talk about what happened last night. Or I guess I should say what you told me," he says, staring at me. I look into his eyes, identical to my own, and I feel warmth. He actually looks empathetic. Could he possibly understand what this feels like?
"I told you everything that happened," I say, looking down at my hands. I never talk about this. I have never told anyone what happened with Steven. I'm humiliated.
"Sweetheart, I know it's hard to talk about. But I can't help you if you won't talk to me," he says, and suddenly grabs my hand. The sudden movement both startles me and calms me at the same time.
"Did you ever tell anyone?" Christian asks, and I feel the tears starting to roll down my face. I shake my head slowly.
"No, I knew he would hurt the person if I did. I tried to tell my dad once but he was too fucked up to really listen," I say, wiping away another tear. "I think my best friend Diego knew something was going on, because I would always get really upset whenever anyone mentioned Steven. But whenever he asked me I would tell him to mind his own business. I love him and I trust him with my life, but it was too dangerous for him to know. I just couldn't talk about it."
I'll never forget the one time Diego asked me about the bruise on my neck.
"Jesus Em, what is that?" he asked, moving my hair out of the way.
I slapped his hand away. "Diego, don't touch me." I know I must have looked murderous, but I really couldn't handle being touched. Even if it was by my best friend.
"It looks like someone choked you," he murmured, taken a back by my harsh tone.
"No one choked me, Diego. I woke up with it. Just drop it," I hissed. And that's always how our conversations went when he asked me about something I couldn't handle. I think he knew deep down, but he knew better than to really ask me about it.
Christian nods like he understands what I'm saying.
"So why now?" Christian asks after a long pause. I snap out of my memory. I stare at him, clearly confused by the question.
"Why what now?" I ask.
"What made you tell me about it now? Did something happen?" Christian asks. I really hadn't thought about how I'd answer this question. While Jamie was an asshole, I didn't really feel like having Christian or one of his men in black go after him. It would be embarrassing and this wasn't a stigma I wanted to carry around my new school.
"I just thought I saw someone that looked like him at the game and it threw me off, but it wasn't him," I say. Which isn't technically a lie. I did see someone at the game. The man did look like Steven. But there was no chance that Steven would have any idea where I was. He would never be able to touch me again. At least I hoped.
Christian stares at me for a second and I think he doesn't believe me. But he suddenly pulls me in for a hug.
"Listen, I know I haven't been easy on you. And I'm sorry. I truly had no idea what you were going through. But you're safe now, and I promise I will never let anything happen to you again," he says, while rubbing my back. This soothes me, yet for some reason I can't stop crying.
I cry into his chest again for what seems like hours, although it probably wasn't more than ten minutes. When I pull away he smiles down at me.
"It's still early. You look exhausted. Why don't you lay back down and I'll wake you in a couple of hours," he says, already pushing me back against the pillows. He takes the comforter and tucks it in around me.
"I'm not a baby, Christian," I say sarcastically, although I smile at him. I can't remember the last time someone actually took care of me.
He smiles back down at me before pulling the final blanket up around me.
"To me you are, kiddo," he says, walking out of the room.
He pauses in the doorway and stares at me for a second before he finally speaks.
"Oh and Emily? If you ever come home drunk again not only will you be grounded…but I'll probably spank you," he says smirking at me, before closing the door.
I gape at him. He has to be kidding right?
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I actually had real homework to do, and figuring out how to do a research paper took up most of my time.
Reynolds pulls up in front of Carlyle and I can feel the nervous pit in my stomach all over again. I haven't seen anyone since the incident.
I see Madison at her locker and take a deep breath as I approach her.
"Hey Madison," I say, smiling at her hesitantly.
She doesn't even bother to look up at me as she unloads her books into her locker.
"Hi," she says after a few seconds, seeming distracted.
"I got sick, so my brother came and got me at the party. I hope you were okay. I saw your text and I tried to find you but I couldn't," I say, lying about the first part. Truth be told, I had been nervous about Madison. I had just completely forgotten about it.
Madison freezes for a second and finally turns to look up at me. I can't tell if she's going to vomit or cry.
"Are you seriously not going to tell me what happened?" she asks, and I can hear her voice crack. She closes her eyes for a second, and when she opens them again she looks different. She looks angry.
Did Jamie seriously tell her what happened?
"Madison, I was going to but I didn't want to hurt you or upset you-" I start, but she interrupts me.
"Why would I be hurt? Because the girl that I have tried to befriend tried to sleep with my boyfriend?" She asks as she starts to yell. People are staring at us.
I'm actually in shock. Does she really think I would do that?
"Madison you know I wouldn't do that! Jamie is the one that came onto me! I literally pushed him off and ran outside! He's lying to you and I know you know that!" I yell back. How can she seriously believe him?
A crowd of people have formed around us and it feels like they are expecting a fight.
"Why would he do that, Emily? He doesn't fucking like you. None of us do. I have tried to be your friend, but I'm done now. Oh and by the way, I had daddy look into you. You're just a poor little girl from Detroit with a druggy father that didn't love her," she says, her voice dripping venom.
It feels as if she slapped me. My heart plunges into my stomach and I think I'm going to be sick on the spot. People are laughing at me.
I thought this girl was my friend. Matt was right. You can't trust any of them.
"You know what? I feel sorry for you Madison. Because you're desperately defending a guy that's fucked every single one of your friends," I say as if I couldn't give less of a fuck.
Her mouth drops and people around us are suddenly silent and staring at me in awe. This isn't what I wanted.
I shake my head and storm into the bathroom where I breakdown all over again.
Sorry it's been so long! It's been crazy hectic with school starting back up and I've been busy with classes. I promises more updates regularly!