Ch39
Honor
"AVES!" I race through the halls on cloud nine looking for my best friend. She grins highly amused when she sees me then goes back to talking to the figure in the red hoodie. Once I'm in ear shot we squeal loudly and whoever she was talking to parks his ass on the table next to us.
"Honor! You gave every one chills! Ugh you have no idea how much I hate you right now!"
"Oh god I was so nervous! I bet you all don't even believe it right." I roll my eyes and sigh my breath shaking.
"Not for a second," Avery rolls her eyes disgusted by my down play of my abilities. Sometimes both she and Randy hate the fact that I don't gloat when I should. "I don't know why you were freaking out over it so bad. You know what you're doing-,"
"I believe it." I hear a velvety smooth voice, the one that I hadn't heard in almost three months since he called me on my affair. "What a way to come back… you and AJ have them eating out of the palms of your hands."
"H-hi Punk." He narrows his eyes at me, Avery quietly slips from between us while Punk continues to stare holes into me. I'm not entirely sure if that was a compliment or insult.
"Got an excuse for me? Some elaborate reason as to what happened between you and Orton. C'mon… I'm sure you do…" Nervously I begin winding my hair around my fingertips. The weight of his glare is worse than any I've ever endured.
"No, Punk. There is no excuse." Glancing about I look to see who all is there, we're essentially surrounded by tech people and others scuttling about trying to run the show without a hitch.
"Good, I don't want to hear the bullshit that's capable of spewing out of your mouth. I was hoping I'd run into you to get this done." He drops a black backpack at my feet, his face is a tough mask of anger. His mouth is a tight line. The permanent bags around his eyes intensify his stare and disgruntles me. I grab the stuffed bag of belongings and turn to leave; I don't want to feel the hurt that pools in my chest. I don't want to see the ire on his face but I have to I caused it. It's a fight keep my face expressionless though all I want to do is cry.
"I tried so very, very hard not to care about you Honor. I tried to follow my own advice I gave to Orton months ago… but no I gave you a chance and I gave you my trust… something that most people don't earn from me right away. You fucked that up. You fucked that up because you can't keep your legs closed; Orton says open them, you say, 'Yes sir.'" Punk is borderline yelling at me his face turning cherry red. It hurts yes but he wants to see the tears, he wants to see if it was real. "You're his little yapping bitch. But that's not the fucked up thing… no sweetheart. The bad thing is I still want you more than you know. I can't control it and it makes me sick to my stomach that I still feel this way over you… I knew when I got into this…with you I'd regret it. Sadly, I know that won't be the last time I ignore my instincts. Why, you ask? Well I'll tell you because I'm too nice of a person and I have to give the underdog a chance. I can't help myself," He takes a deep inhale preparing to give me another verbal ass whipping.
"Punk. That's enough." My voice isn't shaking but I am mad as hell, I don't know why but I am. "Who are you to say anything like that? You hold a double standard against me, technically I cheated on Randy with you and you had nothing to say about it. I'm sorry about what I did. You didn't deserve that…" He's fuming not trying to listen to me, "I do love you. I do care for you still. And I get it that you won't be able to trust me after this but I do still care fore you."
"Not the way you do Orton." I nod yes, tears spill down my face and I try to blink them away.
"If you need validation that you didn't waste your time then I can't give you that. I know you won't believe me and I know you're still mad as hell. But I'm only telling you the truth, I don't know what the hell I'm doing at the time we felt right. But I can't be yours when I'm someone else's I can give you my heart when it's not my own anymore."
"Whatever. I don't care what you say. We're done." His lips form a tight line his words sting but they'll heal eventually. "Honor, you're a mess. I hate you more than anything right now and I'm done with you Honor. I won't do this with you anymore."
"Agreed." I close my eyes and breathe then I turn and start to make my way back to the Diva's locker room when I see quite a few people pretending to ignore us. In particular Randy's segment is done and over with he's now leaning against one of the walls watching us wiping his face in a towel. I know he heard everything. It doesn't matter, everything's done. I just smile at him sheepishly then blush still avoiding tears. Punk couldn't give me the sweaty palms and the nervous flutter in my stomach as much as he means to me he's a great friend (I lost that privilege though). Randy makes me feel like I'm floating when everything's good and when everything's bad I'm out left in the storm. We better each other and there's never a set in stone routine. We learn things about each other along the way. I for once I can actually say that I think I made the right choice. I get it right .
Sometimes.