Amelia was woken up by Joseph jumping on her bed and shaking her shoulder.
"Santa came!" he shouted excitedly. "Santa came, come on you have to wake up!"
"How is it that you're so energetic this early in the morning?" Amelia smiled at her nephew.
"Because it's Christmas!" Joseph said, rolling his eyes. "Duh."
"Oh, it's Christmas?" she asked with mock confusion. "I could have sworn it was only October."
"Aunt Amelia, stop joking!" Joseph laughed. "Come on!" She groaned loudly as she stretched as slowly as possible and the little boy bounced anxiously. As soon as her feet touched the ground Joseph grabbed her hand and dragged her downstairs, yelling the entire way.
"Merry Christmas," her mother and father smiled at the two of them. Joseph flew into Molly's arms and cuddled in close to her body. Their family sat down to breakfast, which Joseph wiggled through, before sitting down in their living room to exchange presents.
Amelia had saved a portion of her paycheck each week and managed to get a little matchbox car for her nephew, and the look on his face was worth it completely. Her mother had knitted hats for all of them, and they thanked her for her thoughtfulness. She thought the best part of the morning, though, was when her father produced two whole oranges. Amelia could hardly believe her eyes, and Joseph seemed to be having trouble with chewing the fruit completely before swallowing, he was that excited.
She was enjoying her share of the orange when there was a knock at the door. Her mother answered it and they all looked up in alarm when she made a strangled noise of surprise. A second later Bucky and Steve stepped inside, and surprisingly Joseph was out of his seat and across the room first.
"Uncle Bucky!" he shrieked, and Bucky didn't hesitate to swing the boy up in his arms.
"Hey sport!" he laughed. "Gosh you got tall." He set Joseph back on the floor and measured him against himself.
"He look at that," Steve laughed. "Soon you'll be as tall as him."
"This coming from the guy who was five-foot-four before they turned you into Mister America."
"Captain America, Buck. I'm a Captain."
"Sure, whatever you say."
"Well clearly neither of you boys have changed at all," Albert said as he crossed his arms, a smile spreading across his face.
"That's not true!" Steve said. "I'm the handsome friend, now!"
"Please," Bucky snorted. "You only say that because Peggy ignores everyone else when you're around."
"Jealous?" Bucky responded by striding over to Amelia and kissing her deeply, making up for the weeks apart.
"Yuck!" Joseph gagged.
"Joseph, leave them alone," Molly reprimanded her son.
"You know, sport," Bucky said, "there will come a day when you won't think kissing girls is gross."
"How long can you stay?" Amelia asked.
"About a week," Steve said. "Phillips decided the Commandos needed a break from kicking Hydra's butt, so we're here till the new year!"
"Oh, that's wonderful!" her mother exclaimed. "It'll be just like before."
"Except I'm the handsome one now," Steve insisted.
"You need to stop that," Bucky warned jokingly.
"I'd like to see you make me," Steve challenged with a smile. Bucky smirked back and began to reach for his pocket, but her mother stopped them, brandishing a wooden spoon.
"Boys," she scolded them. "I don't want anyone getting stabbed and bleeding all over the nice floors."
"Yes, Mrs. Fowler," the muttered together. They both went to sit on the couch, but Amelia caught them elbowing each other roughly. She rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Bucky, whose arm immediately went around her shoulder. He pulled her closer so she was practically in his lap, and she blushed furiously when she realized her parents were watching.
"I've missed you," he said in her ear.
"I've only been away for a few weeks," she reminded him.
Colonel Phillips had let Amelia stay a few days while they sorted everything out, but in the end the Captain America tour was cancelled. Steve's rank was made official and he hand selected a small team to help him take down Hydra, calling them the Howling Commandos. Bucky despised the name, saying it reminded him of howler monkeys, but he put up with it seeing as there wasn't much he could do about it.
With the tour cancelled Amelia had no reason to be overseas anymore, and after sharing a tearful goodbye with Bucky and Steve she was shipped back to Brooklyn. Her old manager gave her her factory job back, and her days continued on as they had before she was part of the bonds tour. She would occasionally see some of the other dancers and they would catch up over coffee.
"Uncle Bucky, look what Aunt Amelia got me!" Joseph said, wedging himself between Steve and Bucky and holding up his matchbox car proudly.
"Well that's no fair," Bucky exclaimed loudly. "How come you got one and I didn't?"
"Because I'm her favorite," he nephew boasted, hugging the toy close in case his uncle tried to take it.
"Ouch. That's just rude, Amelia."
"What can I say, I'm a sucker for his puppy dog eyes."
"Is it okay if I steal you away for a moment?" he whispered.
"Lead the way," she said, standing and holding her hand out to him. They excused themselves and escaped up the stairs. As soon as she knew they were out of sight she turned to talk to Bucky, but he surprised her by grabbing her and kissing her deeply. His tongue slipped into her mouth and he nipped at her lower lip gently.
"Not saying I didn't enjoy that," she said breathlessly when they broke apart, "but what was that for?"
"I've missed you," he said with a shrug. "I'm allowed to miss my fiancée, right?"
"I've missed you too," Amelia said, pressing herself closer to Bucky and tucking her head under his. "I worry about you every day."
"Well, I think I deserve some credit," Bucky joked. "I've managed to make it this far. I've even managed to save Steve's hide a few times."
"I still worry," Amelia frowned. "I'm allowed to worry about my fiancé, aren't I?" Bucky grinned at his own words offered back to him.
"Fair enough."
"Speaking of fiancés," Amelia said, pulling away slightly, "think the war will be over soon?"
"Anxious to be married, Miss Fowler?" Bucky smirked at her.
"Well, with any luck, I won't be Miss Fowler for long," she said.
"Nope, you'll be Amelia Barnes." Bucky tightened his hold on her. "I like the sound of that."
"Me too," she murmured.
"You know, it's kind of funny," Bucky laughed after a moment.
"What is?"
"That almost fifteen years ago we were constantly at each other's throats, and now here we are, planning our wedding."
"I feel obligated to remind you that it was always you telling me to get lost," she said, flicking his ear.
"I thought I already apologized for my younger self," he pouted. "Besides, even if I haven't, you've clearly gotten over it if you agreed to marry me. I didn't exactly hear you say no when I proposed."
Amelia crossed her arms and frowned at him. "And if I haven't forgiven you?"
Buck pressed a kiss to her temple and took her hand. "Well then, my dear, you will just have to deal with it. You're stuck with me for life."
On the last night Steve and Bucky were home, Amelia couldn't fall asleep. So many scenarios were playing out in her head, and she fretted over them to the point where she began to feel sick. What it one of them didn't come home? What if neither of them came home? Amelia didn't know what she would do. She'd spent the majority of her life with her two boys, had grown up with them protecting her and treating her as their equal. She didn't want to imagine a world where the three of them weren't together.
At that last thought her stomach twisted painfully, and she leapt from her bed. She barely made it to the bathroom in time to be sick in the toilet. The bile stung her throat and left a bitter taste in her mouth, and tears stung her eyes. She felt cool hands sweep her hair back and rub small circles on her back as she retched again and began to cry.
"Please don't go," she whispered as she curled in Bucky's arms. He rested his chin on her head as he felt her tears soak through his thin shirt.
"I don't want to.
"So don't." He sighed heavily.
"We both know I can't do that."
"It's not fair."
"Why don't you come sleep with me and Steve for tonight?" Bucky suggested. "It'll be just like when we were kids." He didn't wait for her to answer, he simply hooked his arms under her legs and around her back and stood. Amelia clung to him as he carried her down the stairs and into the living room where he and Steve had been camping out for the week. Bucky carefully balanced on one foot and nudged Steve with the other.
"Mmmf," the blond man grunted.
"Scoot over," Bucky said.
"No."
"Scoot over," he commanded a little more firmly. "Amelia's here."
Steve grunted but opened his eyes and shifted over a foot to make room for her. Bucky placed Amelia next to Steve and then settled himself on her other side. Steve's hand found hers in the darkness, giving it a small squeeze, and Bucky's arm draped over her stomach as he scooted closer to her.
"Are you scared?" she asked, though she wasn't even sure who she was addressing.
"Yeah," Bucky answered.
"A bit," Steve breathed a second later.
"Me too."
"But I believe that we'll all find our way back to each other somehow," Steve mumbled.
"And besides," Bucky added, "it'll all be okay after the war is over, cause I'll have a beautiful wife to greet me."
"Technically I'm not your wife yet."
"Might as well be. Hey Steve, d'you think Captain America has the power to marry people?"
"I don't know," Steve sighed, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Can we go to sleep?"
"I second that," Amelia said, rolling over so she was facing Bucky. "Besides, I want to marry you properly, with our families present."
"Alright. You'll have whatever you want. I love you, Mia."
Weeks passed and Amelia received a few letters from both Steve and Bucky. Both of her boys assured her they were keeping each other safe, and Bucky said that they thought they could see an end to Hydra soon. When she heard that her spirits lifted so much that she went to the closest dress store and began looking at white dresses. She knew she wouldn't be able to afford a proper wedding dress like the ones she saw in magazines, but she also figured that didn't matter so much. The only thing that would matter to her would be Bucky waiting for her at the end of the aisle.
Molly offered to help her with her hair and gleefully accepted when Amelia asked her to be her Matron of Honor. They immediately began brainstorming hairstyle ideas, which quickly blossomed into ideas about flowers and music and decorations. She felt herself smiling much more easily and often than she had since the beginning of the war. Everything finally seemed to be looking up.
She and Molly were sitting in the kitchen with a hand mirror. They were trying out different hairstyles and seeing which ones they liked best when there were three sharp raps on the front door. Joseph flew down the stairs, yelling that he wanted to answer it, and threw the door open.
"Uh, hi," he said unsurely.
"Is Amelia Fowler home?" a voice asked. Amelia set the hand mirror down on the table and rose to her feet. Two soldiers were standing in the doorway, and she stooped down to her nephew's height upon seeing them.
"Joseph, I need you to go upstairs for a little while," she said, trying to hide the tremor in her voice. "Can you do that for me?" The boy nodded, grabbed his mother's hand, and they disappeared up the stairs. She stood again.
"Miss Fowler?"
"That's me," she said, hugging her arms around herself.
"Miss Fowler, we regret that this visit in necessary," the first soldier began as the second held out a folded flag and three medals. " We regret to inform you that on the seventeenth of March, it was reported that Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th Infantry was killed in action. We're here on behalf of Colonel Phillips to present these to you."
"We're so sorry for your loss." Amelia took the flag and medals into her hands, unable to even squeak in surprise. It felt like that time she fell out of a tree and landed on her back, the wind knocked out of her and too surprised to even scream. She stayed frozen as the soldiers saluted her and parted to let Steve through.
"Amelia," he breathed hoarsely. She lifted her gaze to meet his eyes, and realized that his were red. She dropped Bucky's flag as Steve hugged her fiercely.
"Please tell me this isn't real," she whispered, unable to get anything else out.
"I'm sorry," Steve sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry. It should have been me. It shouldn't have been Bucky. I tried to get to him, but it was too late. I'm so sorry."
Amelia collapsed into Steve's arms and sobbed.
I'm sorry if I gave you whiplash with this chapter…. and also for being a terrible human being.