"Portland? Why the fuck do you want to move to Washington?" Brian exclaimed in utter dismay to his best friend's announcement. Brian grew animated as he spoke jarring his broken leg off the pillow it was perched on in the process. "Fuck" he cried out as his cast hit the glass coffee table with a thud.
Michael recoiled at Brian's reaction. He really hadn't expected him to be so upset by his news, "Oregon, Brian, Portland is in Oregon" he corrected gently "and David's son is there".
Brian shook his head in disappointment. Sure, he could admit that he and Michael didn't exactly hang out as much as they once had especially since Mikey met Dr. David and Brian had been working so many hours on his quest to make partner. Still Oregon was on the other side of the country; he would never see him now.
Michael helped ease Brian's cast back to the pillow. "Does it still hurt?" he asked concerned.
It had been two weeks since his fall but pain management was still a significant problem. "Like a bitch! The fucking pills make me so sleepy I can't get any work done." Brian was thankful his boss was letting him work from home at least part of the time. He hated relying on Lindsay and Justin to take him into the office and pick him up. He really hated the fucking crutches and having to take the elevator everywhere when he was used to just taking the stairs. The whole fucking leg had been a disaster to his push for partnership and Brian had never felt so helpless
Michael nodded sympathetically, "Well it's after five; can I get you some of the pain meds now?"
Brian refused although he craved them badly. "Nah, Justin took Gus to the park right after school and I don't want to crash before I get a chance to spend some time with him. They should be home soon. So should Linds, I think. Do you want to stay for dinner? I think Justin's cooking."
"Wow, boy wonder's quite a help, isn't he?" Mikey commented, "I can stay, is it okay if I invite Emmett. I told him I would hang with him tonight. He's feeling neglected since I practically moved in with David."
"Sure" Brian smiled, "I haven't seen Honeycutt in a while. Let me just call Lindsay and see what time she thinks she will be home."
"Yeah, where is Lindsay anyways?" Michael asked, "Did she start working again?"
Brian's brow furrowed at the suggestion that Lindsay might actually have found employment. On one hand Brian understood that finding a teaching job once the school year started was a challenge but she was pretty resistant to even looking still convinced she would eventually prevail in her case. "I wish" he muttered before responding, "No she's with her attorney again something to do with the case"
Brian was just about to dial Lindsay's cell when his phone rang. Lindsay called to let him know she was having dinner with Melanie. Brian hung up not that surprised, his wife had been fairly distant since his accident and she was spending a lot of time with her friends, Melanie and even her parents.
"Well looks like a guy's night." Brian exclaimed as Justin walked into the house after a very dirty Gus.
Justin was delighted to have Michael and Emmett join them for dinner. He decided to make his mom's jambalaya and a grilled cheese for Little Gus. He went to work with some help from Emmett; it all came together quickly enough. They ate leisurely, except Gus, who scarfed down his dinner so he could return to playing with his model train set that ran the floor in the family room. Justin enjoyed seeing Brian with his friends it was nice to see his smile return; he had been so miserable lately. He was a different man around Michael for sure. Justin observed the light return to Brian's eyes as he reminisced back to his adolescence. Justin was happy that Michael had met someone; he deserved to be happy but felt it was unfortunate that it was taking him so far away from Brian. Justin enjoyed the camaraderie of the other men and wished he was brave enough to grab a beer instead of the coke he was nursing.
As the boys got more and more tipsy the dinner conversation changed to Michael's ill-fated attempts at being straight during high school which sent the entire table into hysterics. Michael started to get visibly irritated as Brian shared embarrassing story after embarrassing story of Michael's awkward attempts with girls. Michael finally had enough and decided it was time to dish to the table of Brian's awkward attempts with boys, mainly himself. Most of the stories were innocent enough but one story involving jacking off together to Patrick Swayze had Justin's full attention. Brian laughed it off dismissively as teenage exploration.
"C'mon Mikey, we were what fourteen? I was practically living with your family that year; you were gay, Vic was gay. I thought it was expected of me to want dick to live there. I secretly believed your mom would only love me if I WAS gay." Brian laughed.
"Yeah, well you got hard, didn't you?" Mikey teased.
"Hell you can get a stiffy about anything at that age and Dirty Dancing was sort of a hot movie. We didn't come so it doesn't count" Brian asserted reliving his own relief that Debbie had interrupted them before things had gone to far.
"Dirty Dancing?" Justin asked innocently to the group "I haven't seen it; that's a really old movie"
Michael chuckled and let out a groan, "Fuck off boy wonder; you really are a chicken!"
Justin frowned at Michael's teasing him about his age in front of Brian and the older gentlemen all harassed him for having been born in the eighties and missing all the cultural references from that time. They spoke about other coming of age sex scenes made famous by eighties movies and the impact they had on their respective sexual identities. They all admitted to celebrity crushes and whose images they jacked off to in Junior High and the mood was completely jovial and friendly again.
Brian allowed himself just one glance at Justin's face as he shared his early sexual experiences. Justin's mouth was in a wide smile and he was clearly interested. Brian wasn't sure why Justin's reaction made him happy. He supposed it was because Justin had really stopped flirting with him shortly after he moved in and it pleased Brian to know he was interested, at least somewhat, in Brian's sex life. Not that Brian had a sex life anymore, at least not beyond his own hand.
Emmett grew tired of reliving the Brian and Mikey show yet again and redirected the conversation. "So baby" he turned to Justin, "tell me about your progress with Mr. Dreamboat. You work your twink charms on him yet?"
Justin blushed furiously at Emmett's question. He assumed that Emmett would have put together that Brian was the man he had been referring to after talking to Michael; unaware of just how little Michael had been home since he began seeing David. "Oh, nothing new to report" Justin answered intentionally vague.
Brian felt a twinge of jealousy, "Why am I just now hearing about this?" he asked attempting to sound as fucking casual as humanly possible, "Justin, you never mentioned a boyfriend?"
Justin froze; all three men were staring at him intently waiting for his response. "Um, he's just a kid at school. I gave him a hand job but he's not my boyfriend." Justin lied using Chris Hobbs as a cover. Chris had been nothing but a fucking problem since Justin returned to school, constantly taunting him but stopping short of anything physical enough to get himself in real trouble.
Unnerved by Brian's piercing stare, Justin looked away quickly trying to invent a good way to change the subject but just as he was about to suggest that Gus needed his bath, Emmett hollered out, "Oh no, not him sugar, the married one. You know the married straight guy you were trying to seduce into taking your virginity."
Justin turned a bright shade of crimson and was looking at Brian for signs of recognition. He looked unhappy; maybe angry, maybe hurt. Justin wasn't sure. He couldn't know if that meant Brian knew or didn't know that he was the Mr. Dreamboat. But one look at Michael's face and it was obvious who did. Just as Justin was about to offer some plausible story as to who Emmett was referring to, they were interrupted by Gus screaming, "Mommy!" followed by Lindsay's arrival back home.
"Hey Gussy" Lindsay said embracing her son, "Oh my, you're filthy. We need to get you into the bathtub."
Gus groaned as Lindsay instructed him to pick up his toys and get ready for his bath. Lindsay joined the other adults in the dining room and Brian was relieved to see she was in such a pleasant mood. Lindsay couldn't contain her excitement much longer as she shared the big news.
"I'm going to New York!" she exclaimed. Everyone at the table matched her enthusiasm except Brian who instantly worried about the impact this trip would have on their pocketbook. Lindsay went on to explain that Melanie has arranged to get some publicity about her case and they were participating in an interview for a news station that wanted to pick up the story of a teacher fired for helping a gay student. Brian relaxed as Lindsay shared that the station was picking up the tab.
"Justin, they might even show your painting!" she added.
"On television?" he asked, "Wow, that'd be intense!"
Lindsay left the men to get Gus in the bathtub and Michael hurried Emmett off for home with a flimsy excuse. Justin laughed as Brian tried to help clear the table on his crutches.
"Go sit down, will you?" he exclaimed after Brian nearly dropped a stack of dirty plates. Brian obliged realizing he couldn't be much help but he chose to sit in the kitchen while Justin cleaned up dinner.
"So, about this man you were planning to seduce?" he asked to Justin's back as he washed the pans from dinner "Did you make a move yet?"
Justin was mortified, "No" he admitted slowly with a shrug, washing the same pan into oblivion.
"Why not? Are you not sure it's what you want anymore?" Brian kept prying desperate to know more.
Justin turned to look at Brian, not sure if they were having the same conversation. The feeling in his belly told them they were talking about something deeper than the surface. "No I know it's what I want. I just don't think it matters much what I want. I might be out of luck on this one."
"What do you mean, of course it matters?" Brian knew what Justin was telling him but his mind hadn't fully wrapped around it quite yet. He had to be sure that he understood correctly. There would be no going back once it was out there.
"I mean that just because I want something, doesn't mean I'm gonna get it, right?" Justin had an intense look on his face as he sat across from Brian and rested his chin on his fist.
It took everything for Brian not to bolt from the table. Did this mean that Justin desired him; wanted him to take his virginity? The thoughts spurred a swell of emotions in him so confusing his head was spinning with the combination of guilt and lust.
Brian swallowed hard, he needed to get it out in the open, and he had to know, "Are you saying you think the man you're interested in, isn't interested in you?"
Justin smiled wondering if Brian was really as dense as he was appearing to be. After all, Justin was practically screaming, "Brian, please fuck me" at him with his eyes. Maybe he needed one of Emmett's tutorials. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying" Justin confirmed.
Justin layered it on extra thick just in case Brian wasn't pretending. He tracked his movements intently as Brian lifted his beer to his lips and as Brian placed his lips on the bottle, Justin let a soft moan escape conveying his arousal, wishing his cock was that bottle.
"Well, all I can say is if there's something you want, you should at least ask for it. You never know what the answer might be"
Brian immediately regretted the words as they left his mouth. He was basically encouraging Justin to make a move which Brian wasn't sure how he would respond to. There was Lindsay to consider and Brian had no way to describe why he found himself so attracted to Justin. He had never felt any sort of sexual pull like this. He figured it was that he had been so sexually comatose for so long that his body was just needy for action, any action. Well maybe not any action, Brian was pretty sure he didn't want anything as big as Justin's cock in his ass.
Justin paused considering what Brian was offering. He has promised himself that he wouldn't go there, that he couldn't go there with Brian, not knowing what it might do to Lindsay and Gus. His brain was preaching to his dick about morals and decency; and his dick was telling his brain to fuck off. Justin couldn't contain his inner desires any longer, "Brian, have you ever been with a man?"
Brian almost choked on his beer, sort of impressed that Justin laid it on the line like that, "Like as in sex, with a man" Brian sputtered, "No, I mean, I'm not gay so no, I haven't tried it". Brian had spoken the words "I'm not gay" many times over the years with Michael and his friends and never once did Brian feel like he was lying. This time as the words left his mouth, he doubted them, so much so that he almost wanted to take them back.
Justin sighed heavily all the months of wanting and denial catching up to him. He just couldn't do it anymore. He decided to just put his cards on the table once and for all. "Listen, I'm not trying to pressure you if you don't want to but I'd be lying if I said I haven't wanted to fuck you, to be fucked by you actually, since I first saw you. I know you love Lindsay, but it doesn't take a genius to see there's no passion there. I know you're fucking miserable. You barely touch each other, maybe that means you are gay, and maybe it doesn't. I can't answer that for you but I can see you looking at me these last few months and I think you're sexy as hell, so I'm letting you know that if you want it. If you want to try it and just see if it's something you like; I want you."
Brian felt a lump form in his throat as Justin's offer sunk in. "You're so young" Brian protested softly.
Justin smiled and laughed quietly at the response. Of all the objections to Justin's offer, he thought their age difference would be pretty low on the list of Brian's concerns.
"I'm old enough, legal anyways, if that's what you're worried about" he assured him, "Brian, you're different from the men my age. I could go to Babylon if I wanted. I'm blond and I have a great ass; I could fuck just about anyone I want. But I haven't because I know I want you. Something draws me to you. I want my first time to be with you followed quickly by my second, third and fourth times. I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me all night long."
Brian was about to respond when they heard Lindsay's footsteps on the stairs. She joined them in the kitchen and chatted excitedly about her case and upcoming trip oblivious to the offer Justin had just made. Feeling guilt set in, Justin excused himself to go upstairs.
Brian popped two pain pills and slowly navigated his way to his bed. He succumbed to his drug induced sleep with Justin's words playing on repeat in his brain. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, so desperately. The aching in his broken leg paled in comparison to the deep ache his body had for that beautiful man just one wall away from him.
Brian awoke to find that Lindsay was already gone having left to drop Gus and Justin off at school. She had plans again with Melanie and then was going to shop for something to wear for her television debut. Brian got out of bed deciding he was going to the office today come hell or high water. He just couldn't stay home any longer. If he did he knew he would spend the day masturbating to visions of his cock buried in Justin's ass. No, what he needed was to get dressed in a nice suit and go to the office and feel like a normal man again.
It wasn't graceful or fast but eventually Brian stood at the doorway to his home a fully dressed, upright man waiting on a cab to take him to work. He shut himself in his office and the time flew by as he caught up on several projects. He felt better than he had in a long time. Self-satisfaction crept over him at how productive his day had actually been and he managed to not think about Justin all day, well almost anyways. He decided he was married to Lindsay for better or worse and that was that. He wasn't gay; he was just depressed, confused and lonely and Justin's attention felt so fucking good because he needed the ego boost and that was all there was to it.
Some of the guys at work cornered him and twisted his arm into joining them for a drink. One of them offered him a ride home so he thought what the hell and agreed to go. When they pulled up to the "bar" Brian cringed. This was no typical happy hour with colleagues. They were at one of the raunchiest strip clubs in town. His coworkers patted his back enthusiastically as they walked into the club.
Brian's eyes adjusted rapidly to the dark and seedy club. Young girls with large breasts worked their way around polls, swaying their hips seductively to music, on two stages. The first round of drinks was served and one of the junior ad execs lifted his shot glass, "To Jim" he exclaimed cheerfully and all the men clinked their glasses and downed their shots. Brian followed suit but elbowed Elliott, one of the VP's, and whispered, "Why are we toasting Jim?"
Elliott looked puzzled at first, "Oh, I guess no one told you. Vanguard made Jim partner today!"
Brian felt like he was going to throw up. Jim was younger than him and had worked there less time. He had pulled one large account but it wasn't nearly the volume or revenue Brian was responsible for. He wanted to excuse himself but as he tried to locate his crutches and hoist himself to a standing position, a young blue-eyed, redhead climbed into his lap and started grinding her way up his knees until her crotch was pushing on his dick. She thrust herself onto his lap and worked him like a professional. Only Brian's dick didn't respond, at all. Brian contemplated that maybe it was the fact that he never really liked redheads, or his coworkers were watching, or the that he felt like he had been punched in the gut with the news of Jim's promotion. Any of these might explain the reason why Brian's dick lay completely unimpressed by the redhead's gyrations. As he moved his head to avoid the silicone enhanced D- cups being rubbed in his face; Brian knew the real reason was none of these. The real reason was he was gay. He wanted Justin; he wanted to taste his mouth, he wanted to taste his cock, hell he even wanted to taste his ass and nothing this redhead was doing and nothing Lindsay could ever do was going to change that fact.
Brian stood up, handing the redhead ten bucks for her trouble and hobbled himself out of the club and into a cab on his way home.