Chapter III: On Top of the World

A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth…" by Pika-la-Cynique f Girls Next Door fame.

Transcript by Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan.

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It was a few days before the wedding. Sarah and Jareth were sitting on a sofa in a hotel lobby waiting for Sarah's family to arrive from the airport.

"My family will meet your family," Sarah said.

"Yes," Jareth said, "A horrifying thought."

"I mean, what will they talk about? I haven't even thought about it. 'Ah, yes, my shop is doing quite well. How are your dealings with a murderous Fae queen going?'"

"Please, Sarah. They will be too focused on trying to find out as many horrible things about the two of us that business dealings will be put off for a few days," Jareth said.

"How reassuring," Sarah said dryly.

Jareth tilted Sarah's head up. "You worry too much about these things."

"What if they hate each other?" Sarah said.

"Then that is their problem. My family likes you and your family likes me. Surely there is something they can agree upon," Jareth said. He whispered in her ear. "Even if they do not, my family and I will never stop you from spending time with those you love."

"I wasn't worried about that," Sarah said.

"That was the only thing you truly feared, precious," Jareth said, "I know you well enough for that."

Sarah shrugged. "Maybe."

Jareth cupped Sarah's face and kissed her. After a few moments, a person cleared his throat. The couple looked up and saw Mr. Williams standing before them, glaring at Jareth.

"Every time. Every single time," Mr. Williams said.

"Hi, Daddy," Sarah said. She hugged her father.

"Hi, princess," Robert said, "Karen is checking in with the kids."

Jareth stood up and shook his father-in-law's hand. "Mr. Williams."

"Jareth," Robert said before speaking to Sarah, "What are the plans today?"

"We were going to take you to the British Museum and get a back-stage tour from our former clients, Andy and Soo Lin. Plus, we get to see their baby. She looks so cute," Sarah said, "And for dinner we are going back to 221B. Mrs. Hudson is going to make you an English supper with Yorkshire pudding and all the fixings. Jareth's various family members may or may not be in attendance."

"May or may not?" Robert said.

"They are very busy. A lot of people rely on them," Sarah said.

&%&%&%

Sometime before dinner, the group arrived at 221B. Noise could be heard from Mrs. Hudson kitchen. A goblin was kicked out the door.

"You lot aren't allowed in here," Mrs. Hudson scolded.

"FOOD!" the goblin cried. Several more goblins popped their heads out of the banister in agreement.

"You are not allowed in Mrs. Hudson flat," Jareth said.

"FOOD!"

"Upstairs. I'll give you some sweets if you go right now," Sarah said.

With a cheer, the goblins scurried up to 221B. Mrs. Hudson huffed. "You can't keep bribing them, dearie."

"I am too tired to kick them," Sarah said.

Jareth covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh at Mr. and Mrs. Williams' faces. "Those are… goblins?" Karen said.

"Yep. Aren't they cute little brats?" Sarah said as she made her way upstairs.

"You don't look like them," Robert said to Jareth.

Jareth grinned and followed Sarah. "Goblins come in all shapes and sizes. You can tell by our love of mischief and our sharp teeth."

Over the next few minutes, the Williams' children helped Sarah pass out baked goods and candies to the goblins. Karen and Robert spoke to the less rambunctious goblins, who seemed quite eager to learn more about the Labyrinth's Champion. Just as soon as Sarah had sat down, Joanna strolled into the room wearing gold flats, plain jeans, and a red sweater sewn with gold thread.

"Hello, Jay," Joanna said. She turned to the goblins and said, "Shouldn't you be with your King?"

"FOOD!" the goblins said.

"You'll spoil your supper. Out with you," Joanna said.

There were groans of protest, but the goblins poofed away one by one. Joanna smiled at the Williams' family. "Don't mind them. I am Joanna, Jareth's older sister."

Before Karen and Robert could move, Joanna sat in a dining room chair to face them on the sofa. "I must say, Toby does seem to be as… creative as Jareth was as a teenager, only a bit more grounded. Probably some good sense from the two of you has done that."

It was slow going into easy conversation as Karen and Robert knew of Joanna's place in the Underground, but was helped by Sophie and Emily's curiosity.

"You have very pretty hair," Emily said.

"Thank you," Joanna said.

Sophie elbowed Emily and whispered, "You said you would ask her."

"You ask her," Emily whispered.

"Yes, you may braid my hair," Joanna said, "I do have a daughter. She used to play with my hair a lot, so I don't mind."

Emily and Sophie giggled. Emily began playing with Joanna's hair immediately while Sophie went to Sarah's room to pick up hair ties and pins.

"Your daughter is the Goblin King, right?" Emily said.

"Yes, and she is a good one," Joanna said, "Have you met her?"

"No. I've met Dante. I've met the goblins lots of times. They don't come around as much. While Jareth was… gone and a little after, they didn't play with us at all," Emily said.

"They had to stay with their king. The goblins are protected by their ruler during times of war," Joanna said, "But now it is over and we can celebrate happy things like my brother's marriage."

"And we get to go out more," Dante said as he came up the stairs, "Hello, Emily. Hello, Sophie. Your dresses are in the spare room and we will need to do a final fitting before supper."

"But we are braiding your Mom's hair," Sophie said.

"That can wait until later, when we have more time. It sounds like Mrs. Hudson is almost done anyway. Hurry up," Joanna said.

&%&%&%

Mrs. Hudson and Joanna discussed at dinner Jareth's behavior over the years that he was under their care. Dante was thankfully silent about Jareth's exploits as an adult. Robert told stories of when Sarah was small and how she would end up in various different childhood adventures.

"Dante and Toby can take care of the dishes," Joanna said, smirking, "No arguing."

The group sans the two boys went back upstairs to find Sherlock searching through Jareth's music. "Ah, Mr. Holmes," Joanna said, "Why did you not come dine with us?"

Sherlock glanced up at Joanna. "Had fish and chips earlier with John. Just looking for some sheet music."

Joanna raised an eyebrow.

"Sherlock, please stay," Sarah said.

"I'll stay for coffee," Sherlock sighed, "I still don't know why my brother finds you terrifying, Joanna."

The Seelie Queen laughed. "That is because, unlike you, I can make his life miserable indeed."

"What does the elder Mr. Holmes do?" Karen said.

"He occupies a minor position in the British government," Joanna said.

"He is the British government," Sherlock, Sarah, and Jareth said at the same time.

There was a "whoosh" sound and a swirl of gold glitter. The Goblin King stood in the middle of the living room in a black business suit and gold high heels. "Sorry I'm late. For some reasons, the goblins wanted dinner because the King's Mum said they would get some."

"Oh, those poor dears looked so hungry," Joanna said as she grinned.

"They eat more than Dante did when he was a teenager," Christiana said with a sigh, "Oh, right." She cleared her throat. "I am Christiana Rossetti, Goblin King and Lord of the Labyrinth, daughter of Rumpelstiltskin, High King of the Seelie Court, and Joanna, High Queen of the Seelie Court. Oh, are you two braiding for all the ladies? That looks marvelous."

Jareth banged his head against the closed piano lid. "You are worse than Sherlock!"

"Hey!" Sherlock and Christiana said at the same time.

"I believe what he is trying to say is that you are as bad as Jareth is," Mrs. Hudson said.

"Not helping, Mrs. Hudson," Jareth said.

"I missed teasing Chrissy?" Dante said when he arrived with Toby.

Christiana said, "If you tease me, I will tease you, Dante. You are far more disreputable than I am."

Dante rolled his eyes and sat near the fireplace. Joanna and Christiana were on the floor while Emily and Sophie braided their hair. Sherlock was in Jareth's seat while Mrs. Hudson's was in Sarah's. Mr. and Mrs. Williams sat on the sofa while Sarah and Jareth sat on the piano bench.

"Mum, can I please embarrass Uncle Jareth?" Dante asked.

"That is still disconcerting," Robert said.

"What is?" Jareth's family said.

"You and Jareth look the same age," Robert said as he motioned to Dante and Jareth. He then motioned to Joanna and Christiana. "And you two look the same age."

"It deals with that our aging slows considerably when we stop developing," Christiana said, "Women generally stop in their early twenties. Men in their early thirties. There is still some aging afterwards for Fair Folk, but they don't really hit old age except for the last thirty or so years of their life."

Jareth saw a brief moment of concern flash in Robert's eyes, but he remained cordial. Mrs. Hudson puttered into the kitchen to make coffee.

"So, how old are you?" Sophie asked Joanna.

"A little over three and a half centuries," Joanna said, "I saw London rebuilt twice. Drank tea when it first made its mark on blessed English soil. Heard Mozart play when he was a child. He was a clever child, but a dull man. Beethoven was a far more interesting person, though a little difficult to speak with at times."

Sherlock became slightly attentive at the prospect of a discussion on music instead of "polite" conversation, but was interrupted by a final guest.

"Good evening, Mrs. Hudson," Rumpelstiltskin said after his sudden appearance in the kitchen.

"Good evening, dear," Mrs. Hudson said with no surprise, "Would you take out the biscuits for everyone?"

"Of course, ma'am," Rumpelstiltskin said. He took the tray of sweets and placed it on the dining table, showing that he was carrying a bag under his arm. "Good evening everyone. I had to retrieve a few items before I came here. Among them are presents."

Rumpelstiltskin kissed his wife, which gave Dante, Christiana, and Jareth a chance to make gagging noises. "I am a married man, you dolts."

"It's still gross," Dante said.

Rumpelstiltskin looked at the ceiling for a moment before looking at Mr. and Mrs. Williams, "Are all children this way?"

"Yes. They get squeamish even if we hold hands," Karen said.

"Ew," Emily, Sophie, and Toby said at the same time.

"Children are odd creatures," Rumpelstiltskin said, "Odd creatures who like presents from my experience."

Sophie and Emily instantly loved Rumpelstiltskin. They tied off the hair they were working on and rushed over to him. Sherlock reluctantly removed himself from his seat to let the Seelie High King sit down.

"Now, for Sarah's sisters," Rumpelstiltskin said. He pulled out two tissue wrapped packages. The girls found golden shawls. "That is for the wedding if you should become chilled. You can wear it as much as you like after that."

"Is it made from silk?" Emily asked.

"Of a sort, yes," Rumpelstiltskin said.

"It's so soft," Sophie said.

"Girls," Karen said.

"Thank you," the twins said. They began arranging the shawls in different ways.

Rumpelstiltskin then tossed a small package the size of a coaster to Toby. "My acquaintance says it will last three times as long as ordinary strings and almost never go out of tune."

Toby looked inside the package and found it to be guitar strings. "Wow. Thanks. I was going to need more soon. I am constantly breaking them."

"I guessed that. You are much like Jareth when he was younger. He was constantly breaking parts of the instruments he practiced on," Rumpelstiltskin said, "Though that poor violin did not deserve to be tossed out of the tower."

"The violin had it coming," Jareth said.

Sherlock made a strangled noise of horror.

Lestrade came running up the stairs. "Oye. Sorry to break the party up, but I've got three bodies one of which is a selkie. Jareth, get off your arse and actually answer you phone for once."

The twins giggled. Jareth and Sarah began to get themselves bundled up for the cool night.

"Ah. The little ones. Forget the lot of you were coming in today. Mr. and Mrs. Williams, pleasure to see you again. Majesties," Lestrade said the last word with a nod of his head, "Goblin King, sorry, but I'm going to have to snatch your kinsman for a bit."

"Perfectly alright, detective inspector," Christiana said, "Will you be at the wedding? I might ask for a dance from you if that will not displease you."

"Course I will. We need as many hecklers for Jareth as we can. Listening to him go on about how useless emotions were and all that and now he is getting all sentimental and married to a hopeless romantic," Lestrade said.

"I'm not hopeless. Just a romantic," Sarah said, "And he is worse than me."

"Am n… damn. A lie," Jareth said, which caused the twins to laugh harder. "Good-bye. Be back soon."

"Come on. You'll have plenty of time to chat with the family later. The wedding is only two days from now," Lestrade said.

"You honestly do not know how weddings work, do you?" Sarah said as they made their way down the stairs.

Jareth faintly heard Rumpelstiltskin say, "Now that he is gone, we can get to the truly embarrassing stories."

If not for Sarah's tight grip on him, Jareth would have run back immediately.

&%&%&%

It was the night before the wedding and Sarah was going to spend the night with her family. Jareth pulled Sarah into an embrace. "I will see you tomorrow, precious."

"I really don't see the point in this. We're already married," Sarah said, "Besides, you have some good hair styling tips."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Complementing you," Sarah said, "I'll miss you."

"No you won't. You will be too busy with your sisters to miss me, and that is how it should be," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

Jareth answered his phone at one in the morning. "Hello, Sarah."

"If you tell anyone what I am about to ask you, I swear I will show everyone what I have for our M.A.D."

Jareth sat up in his bed as he said half-teasingly, "Precious, I am glad to hear you feeling so adventurous, but unless you are completely alone, I think you will find that…"

"I am not asking for that! I swear, Jareth, your mind not only lives in the gutter, your brain rules it," Sarah said.

"What is it you want, Sarah?" Jareth said.

"I just… I need to fall asleep while we are still on the phone. I need to hear you. I can't sleep. I haven't gone to bed without you since we got married and… it's one of those things they do in stupid teen rom-coms and… it's silly…"

"I don't sleep well without you either, precious. I won't tell anyone."

"Really?"

"Really."

&%&%&%

Shortly before the ceremony, Karen came to see Jareth. "Sarah looks beautiful. She misses you."

Jareth smiled. "The first is always true of her and the second is true of me as well."

"I need to tell you something, but I would rather Sarah not know," Karen said.

Jareth raised a slanted eyebrow, but nodded his consent.

"I was not entirely sure of you marrying her. I know, I know. I am not as openly antagonistic as Robert can be, but it's true. You are a bit… wild. I wasn't sure you would just run off one day or hurt her. Seeing your sister and her husband, though… three hundred years and they still seem to be in love. Seeing as Rumpelstiltskin…" Karen giggled. "I can't believe I am on a first name basis with fairy tale characters. But, I'm distracted. Seeing as Rumpelstiltskin is much like you and how he treats Joanna… I feel safe enough for you to take care of Sarah."

Jareth looked at Karen with amazement. "Truly, I have underestimated you, Mrs. Williams, in all of our encounters. I will endeavor not to do so again."

Karen smiled. "I am glad to hear that."

"I can tell now where Sarah gets some of her… subtle but commanding presence from."

Karen laughed and left to attend to Sarah.

&%&%&%

The wedding itself was unremarkable. Just a few close friends and family for a civil ceremony. The reception, however, was a different story entirely. After all, it was not every day that a former Goblin King married his Champion.

Jareth had shucked off his tie and undid the top buttons of his shirt as soon as they arrived at the reception site. He helped Sarah remove her netted veil. Her fifties style white dress with a blue sash was very Sarah, which pleased Jareth. It fit well with the somewhat casual atmosphere. It was a refurbished church that had been made into a sort of community center with a large lawn in the front and a bigger garden in the back. No one would "catch on fire" as Sarah would say.

"Jareth," Sarah said softly, "The old man with an eye patch, was that…"

"Yes," Jareth said.

"And the woman with the peacock feathers is…"

"Yes."

"Hopefully her husband isn't…"

"He's not. Joanna made a fool of him once and he has learned not to meddle with our family since then."

"LOKI! HERMES!" Sarah said at the sight of her poker buddies.

The two Tricksters grinned with equal mischief as they greeted the couple. "Now, really, she does get better with age," Loki said.

"I heard you had two sisters," Hermes said before being promptly punched in the stomach by Loki.

"They're children," Loki said.

"Sorry. Sorry. I thought they were around Sarah's age. Sorry," Hermes gasped.

"One moment," Loki said, "Daughter! Stop flirting with young Tobias!" He turned to Sarah and Jareth. "There. That should solve many of your problems this evening. Well, problems of the more lasting sort. Mischief on the other hand…" He winked at the couple and made his way into the building.

Sarah laughed which made Jareth smile even more.

"Are Sarah and Jareth going to be like this the whole time?" Sherlock whispered to Molly.

"Yes, Sherlock. People do like to smile at their own weddings," Molly said.

&%&%&%

"Is everyone from the Underground here?" Jareth hissed at his sister when Sarah had left him to freshen up for the late lunch.

"I thought you liked parties," Joanna said.

"I do, but this is not what Sarah wanted," Jareth said.

"She wants you to be recognized as what you are," Joanna said.

"As a glittery idiot?" Jareth said.

"As a king," Joanna said, "Really, she thinks better of you then I ever have."

Jareth laughed. "Sarah loves me, but she in no way thinks I am perfect."

"I never said she did. She believes in you, Jay. That is more valuable than any gift you have ever received. Treasure that," Joanna said, "And besides, I think the size of the party shut up the first Mrs. Robert Williams long enough before she had to leave, even without knowing who the guests were. That was certainly convenient."

&%&%&%

"What the bloody…" Jareth mumbled as he made his way out to the lawn, "What are you fools doing?"

A group of guests were standing in the front lawn where Toby and Sherlock were standing, ready to fence. "Ilmarinen, why did you bring these here? Sharp objects at a goblin wedding?"

Ilmarinen smiled. "It seemed like a bit of fun between lunch and cutting the cake."

"Sarah will have…"

"…a fit," Sarah interrupted, "If you are to behave like children, you will be treated as children. If you do not stop this now, there will be no cake for any of you."

There was a groan from the group, but most immediately went back inside. Sherlock looked longingly at the rapier, but began to put it up for Ilmarinen. Toby, however, did not.

"Toby, now," Sarah said.

"Oh, come on, this is the most fun I've had all day. No one is doing any magic because there are so many mundane people around. Weddings are the most boring thing on the planet," Toby said.

"If you do not put up that sword, I will do it for you," Sarah said.

Toby put his weapon free arm behind his back and took a fighting stance. "Make me."

Toby had no idea what hit him. Sarah disarmed him and shoved him to the ground in one movement. "You were not even standing correctly," Sarah said, "I know that and I have only done some fencing from drama camp. Go. Inside. Now."

Jareth snickered behind his hand as Toby scrambled to stand up and rush back inside. Sarah stood up and brushed grass off her skirt. "Honestly. It's like sometimes he forgets I was in the army."

Sarah was pulled into Jareth's arms and he kissed her thoroughly. "You are the most precious of gifts."

"Knocking down teenage boys is hardly a gift. Well, maybe. You did think it was good idea to throw a snake at me," Sarah said.

Jareth kept his arm around her shoulder as they walked back to the church. His other hand stroked Sarah's jade favor. "Yes. I do not understand gifts properly, even when something more precious than jade is right in front of me."

&%&%&%

"I thought he would show up in time for cake," Sarah said as Mycroft approached the couple.

"Many blessings upon you both," Mycroft said. He leaned against his umbrella.

"And many thanks," Jareth said.

"I am glad you could come, Mr. Umbrella," Sarah said.

Jareth could have sworn Mycroft almost smiled at the nickname he loathed.

"Look down you gods,/And on this couple drop a blessed crown," Mycroft quoted, "Honor, riches, marriage blessing,/Love continuance, and increasing,/Hourly joys be still upon you!/Juno sings her blessings on you."

"The Tempest," Sarah said, "It is one of my favorites, Mycroft. Thank you."

"How accurate," Jareth said, "We are having karaoke later."

Sarah elbowed Jareth. "Would you like some cake, Mr. Umbrella?"

The British Government sighed. "I suppose I must."

"Don't worry. We will set you up so you can bug Sherlock," Sarah said.

"Joy," Mycroft said dryly. He then said in all seriousness, "There are no more cameras or listening devices within 221B. I thought it a fitting wedding present."

"Oh, I shall definitely make use of that," Sarah said.

Mycroft sat with his brother, ate his cake, and left. He did give another present of free membership for six months to a spa for Sarah's use. According to his note, "Because you, Champion, must not murder your king because of how irritating he is to us all."

&%&%&%

"I do appreciate this song more now that I know the man who sang it to me the first time," Sarah said to Jareth as they danced while Sherlock played his violin.

"The words are still true," Jareth said.

"I know that now and that it is not a fleeing dream," Sarah said, "Thank you, Jareth."

Jareth rested his head against Sarah's for a moment. "All thanks are to you, precious."

&%&%&%

The rest of the wedding was as chaotic as to be expected. Joanna had set up a spell that if certain songs were played, it would suddenly switch to "Never Gonna Give You Up". Generally, the Rick Rolling would only happen with such songs as "It's Raining Men" or "The Electric Slide". Jareth was quite disappointed that a rendition of "Magic Dance" that Joanna had said would play almost immediately was Rick Rolled.

Guests were allowed to pick out songs. Sophie picked out Katy Perry's "This Moment". Emily chose "Siuil a Run". Toby chose Bowling for Soup's "1985". Jareth chose "Golden Years" by David Bowie. (He adored the movie A Knight's Tale and refused to comment on any contact he might have had with Mr. Bowie.)

Dante had to be reminded that he was only allowed one dance with Molly, as her fiancé, Tom, wanted to dance with her as well. Christiana had suddenly decided she wanted to be escorted by Lestrade. They both flirted so much that Jareth seriously considered taking Lestrade to the back and knocking his teeth out if not for Christiana looking more at ease than she had in almost a hundred years. Sarah was very close to regretting having played "Teenage Rebel" by Chameleon Circuit when she danced with Rumpelstiltskin because that led to her father and the Seelie High King having the longest Doctor Who discussion she had ever heard. (It did lead to her Father receiving a Cyberman Head from their first appearance in 1966, so she supposed it was worth it.)

There were several small fires started by "unknown" sources that were quickly stamped out; winds that made ladies' skirts and gentlemen's shirts fly up; vines that tripped guests when they had not been there a minute before; and the sudden appearance of puddles of water that caused dancers' to slip.

All in all, it could have gone worse. Jareth and Sarah made it to their train on time. They were to have a week long honeymoon to a small cottage in Germany that was owned by Rumpelstiltskin.

"Joanna and I never had a proper honeymoon," Rumpelstiltskin said when he gave them the tickets, "And you two will never take a moment to breathe if someone does not force you to."

&%&%&%

In late April, Sarah came home from work to Jareth in his normal spot sending a text. "Solved the female cyclist case. The man who follows her and disappears is a kidnapper after her fortune. Lestrade is arresting him now. What happened to your arm?"

Sarah looked down at her right arm where a Band-Aid with some cotton swabs was near the crook of her elbow. "I had a blood test."

"What for?" Jareth said, "Are you alright?"

Sarah smiled and sat on Jareth's lap. "I am perfectly healthy, Jareth. I have just been feeling odd for a few days. I have had a massive craving for sweet things that I just can't shake."

Jareth nodded and kissed Sarah. "Welcome home, precious."

Sarah said quietly, "I may not be able to join you immediately in January to go the Goblin Kingdom."

Jareth stiffened. "Why?"

"It's not good for the Mom and the baby to leave the hospital for a few days after the birth."

He blinked rapidly. "What."

"You, Jareth, are going to be a father. I'm due around New Year's."

Jareth stared at Sarah as he tried to process the information. She frowned. "Are you not happy?"

He picked up Sarah and spun her around as he laughed. "I'm on top of the world, Sarah. I can't tell you how overjoyed I am. A baby?"

"Yes, a baby."

Jareth stopped spinning and held Sarah close. "I am the happiest of men, my dear, wonderful, wife."

&%&%&%

A/N: BABIES!

A thank you on some of the songs to whitexblackrose (Annalisa Yoru on ), SarianaJ (also on ), and Teehee100 on D.A. "Golden Years" by David Bowie is one of my favorite songs to write to, if anyone wondered why I included it instead of another Bowie song.

Sparkly golden shawls to anyone who can guess the various mythological figures that snuck into the wedding. Also, I completely made up the place the wedding happened.