1950

They erected a World War II memorial in the park. It had been built to commemorate the 5th anniversary of the end of the war and to honor those from New York who had given their lives. The day they opened it to the public they had invited all the families, and so Amelia went, clutching a picture frame. Molly and Joseph went as well, and though David offered to accompany her, Amelia had told him this was something she had to do herself. The hurt had been evident on his face, but he had only nodded.

She really didn't deserve David and she knew it. He was too good to her and much more understanding that he should be. She had told him that she had been engaged previously and that her fiancé had died in the war, and he still wanted her.

"I'm afraid I can't love you like I should," she had warned him. "I loved too deeply before, I gave my heart and soul to him only for it to crash and burn, and I don't think I can fully recover from that. I'm afraid I'll love him until I die."

"Well how will you know if you never try?" He had asked her.

She had grown to love David, ended up marrying him. They even welcomed their first child a few months ago, a son she'd insisted they name James. But though she loved David and adored James, she knew she was holding back. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but she knew the truth. Her heart was an iceberg and her love for David was just the tip of it. Though at first glance it seemed immense, it was the part below the surface that would always belong to James Buchanan Barnes. It was the part below the surface that was larger than life, but hidden, buried.

She finally had everything she wanted, a husband and a son, and it still wasn't enough. Because she had wanted it all with Bucky. She had planned an entire lifetime with him only to have it snatched away, and so deep down, in that place reserved for true love, she kept a single candle lit for Bucky.

Amelia walked up to the slab of granite with too many names on it and traced her fingers over Bucky's name. She still missed him and Steve, and she suspected she always would. They had been her best friends growing up, practically her brothers and as time went on Bucky turned into something more. But it had always been the three of them. She smiled as she recalled the first time she met them, right here in this park, almost 20 years ago. It felt both like a lifetime ago and like it was just yesterday.

She swiped furiously at the tears that were beginning to fall. Though she loved the memorial and what it stood for, she despised it as well. It was as if she could feel Steve and Bucky's ghosts with her and it made her heart ache. She glanced over at her sister and nephew, who were locked in an embrace and crying a few feet away. Many people around them were doing the same thing. Parents, brothers, sisters, wives, children, friends… too many to count. It was overwhelming and entirely unfair.

Amelia knelt and placed the picture frame she had been holding on the ground in front of the memorial. It had been taken at her high school graduation, just weeks after Bucky had kissed her for the first time. All three of them were smiling widely, looking so young and happy and far more innocent than she remembered. Steve was still scrawny, his head too big for his body, and Bucky wasn't even looking at the camera. He was looking at her instead. She hadn't known when the picture was being taken and had nearly swooned when she saw the developed picture. Amelia smiled as she remembered how Bucky had asked her out on a proper date just minutes after the picture had been taken.

It was hard to believe that the picture was 13 years old; in some ways she felt just as young as she was in the picture, and in other ways she felt much older than 30.

Her fingers ghosted over the image of her friends. She wished with all her heart that they were both still here with her. She recalled her darkest days, the weeks following their deaths. She lost Steve just two weeks after she lost Bucky, leaving her all alone. All their memories together belonged solely to her. She would ask whatever God there was above to just take her too, to end her life and let her be with her boys. It might have been easier to accept if there had been bodies to bury and graves to mourn at, but Bucky's body was never recovered and Steve's plane simply vanished somewhere in the ocean. There was nothing left of either of them for her to hang on to.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Amelia grasped Bucky's St. Anthony pendant, now hanging next to her first engagement ring. She never took them off though she knew they only served as reminders of what she'd lost. Because even though it hurt to look at them, they also reminded her of the happier times they'd had.

There was nothing of Steve's left for her to take. Most of it had been donated to museums and sold to private collectors. Everyone wanted something that had once belonged to the man who saved the world. It made Amelia furious. Those people only cared about Captain America, not Steve Rogers, the kid from Brooklyn with too much spirit and not enough to back it up. None of them would have given him a second glance before the serum, not like Bucky and Amelia, what right did they have to his things?

The worst part was Steve didn't even have any relatives left, so it wasn't even his family giving his things away. It was complete strangers who had come in and claimed them. Amelia was sure that she herself had more claim over Steve's possessions; hell, she thought Charles, the manager of their bonds tour from all those years ago, had more of a claim over them than these people.

She stood again and composed herself, smoothing out wrinkles in her skirt as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She turned and her gaze fell on David standing with James under the shade of a tree. She managed a small smile, and though she'd asked him to stay at home she found herself glad he'd come anyway.

"Hi," she murmured, taking James into her arms as he reached for her. She accepted David's kiss and embrace, beaming when James squawked in protest at being squished between his parents.

"I know you said not to come," David said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "but I just wanted to show you that you're not alone. You don't have to do everything on your own anymore. I'm here for you. I'll be right next to you for as long as you want me around."

She didn't deserve him or his love, but Amelia leaned up to kiss him again anyway. "Well then I hope you don't have anyone waiting, Mr. Curtis," she teased. "Because you're going to be around for a while, and I'd hate for anyone to her their heart broken."

David smiled and wrapped an arm around her back. "Let's go home."

Finally posted for Sebastian Stan's birthday, and also celebrating the fact that I finally saw Guardians of the Galaxy.