Darth Maul
1. Say that Obi Wan rocks
2. Mention how Savage Oppress died
3. Say that Ventress loves him
4. Threaten to cut him in half
5. Say that when Obi Wan cut him in half, he should've aimed for the throat
6. Say that he couldn't even beat Lord Voldemort
7. When he says 'who?' say that it's cool kid stuff and that you wouldn't expect someone so old to understand
8. Mention how crazy he was when Savage had found him
9. Ask if all red people have to be crazy and full of hate
10. Say that he's gay
11. Ask if he loved Savage
12. If he says yes, say, 'Yep. I knew it. Gay.'
13. Say that he should go and find Adam Lambert. (No offence of Lambert fans. I love his music!)
14. Ask if he likes Maroon 5
15. If he says yes, say, 'Sorry, Adam Levine's not gay. You should go to his brother though,'
16. When he tries to kills you, tell him that Obi Wan's on speed dial, and when you push this button, he'll come and kick some ass
Next up is Shaak Ti!