~ Companion Rules ~
"Are you sure this is where the Doctor said he'd meet us?" John queried, watching as Sherlock paced the graveled path of the Cavendish Square Gardens.
"Of course. Is it noon yet?"
"You asked that two minutes ago." John sat down on one of the benches, and inhaled the fresh summer air. He noticed a hand waving at him from behind a tree, and went to investigate. "Doctor? Why are you dressed like that?"
The Doctor took off the black sunglasses he'd been wearing and whispered, "I'm incognito…" He put a finger to his lips in a hush- hush motion.
"Well, you are failing miserably." Sherlock had arrived to the tree, tapping his foot in impatience.
"Keep you voice down, eh? We don't want to attract attention to ourselves."
"Yes, because three men walking into a magical blue box- one of them wearing a fez and sunglasses- is sure not to attract attention in total daylight." John replied sarcastically.
The inside of the TARDIS was colder than usual, and a sort of blue aura could be seen coming off the walls.
The Doctor walked around, tapping the stairs, lifting metal latches, pressing a few buttons. Finally, as if diagnosing a patient, he turned to his two new companions and said "Well, she's ill."
John looked –confused- at the doctor, while Sherlock walked back and forth across the diameter of the TARDIS. "What do you mean 'she's ill'?" Sherlock inquired. "It's a machine, for goodness sake!"
The TARDIS groaned and creaked, as if it was protesting. The Doctor scoffed loudly, and motioned to the console. "She's not doing so well. 1000 years of time and space, you start to get under the weather. How about a visit to the pool?" He sprang up in renewed energy, lifted one of the metal grates surrounding the console, and jumped down into a room that glowed yellow and green.
Sherlock stopped and looked over the edge of the open grate. "You have a pool here?"
"Yes, the TARDIS is a bioship, and infinite in size. It's a planet and galaxy within itself, powered by a suspended black hole, but I won't go into detail for your small human minds."
Sherlock sniffed at this remark, as if his intelligence had been personally tainted. Without turning around he announced "Shut up, John, I can hear you laughing." The chuckling at the entrance of the console room stopped.
"Ah, here we are then!" The Doctor climbed up and out of the opening, holding in his hands a set of swim trunks. John groaned inwardly to himself as he saw them.
"You don't happen to have any trunks that aren't the color pink, do you?" Sherlock asked, wary of the flashy swimming shorts.
The Doctor smiled, totally unaware of their growing discomfort. "'Will purple do?"
The swimming pool was warm, with the walls covered in bookshelves all the way to the ceiling. It would have been relaxing if the Doctor hadn't insisted on listing off the rules that applied to all his companions.
"So. Firstly, don't wander off. It makes me feel like a bad tour guide when companions need to explore by themselves. They don't understand how tiring it is to run here and there. But you two don't seem like the running type," the Doctor noted cheerfully.
"Thank you?"
"We do plenty of running."
The Doctor looked at them. " You two are polar opposites. Well, onto rule number three. Or are we on two? Doesn't matter. Anyways, know that I lie. Also there will be no apple eating onboard the TARDIS. No apple pie, apple sauce, or bob-for-apples."
"Well, you take the saying quite literally," joked John.
The other two looked at him as if he'd grown a third eye.
"Alright, so, I'll need to describe Clara to you if we want to rescue her. She's short, and feisty. Brown hair. Not much of a fashion sense." The Doctor looked over at his fez and smiled.
"So," John summed up, "short, brunette, and feisty."
"Sounds like all women." Sherlock added bitterly. "Where is the last place you saw her?"
"Well… it was a bird market- not regular earth birds, mind you- and Clara said she was going to buy some food. I didn't see her after that. I do believe we were on the planet Avalon." The Doctor sighed theatrically, and hopped up onto the edge of the pool. "Your room is two doors down from here. I'm off to Bedfordshire!"
"We're sharing a room?" John asked incredulously.
"Don't worry," the Doctor picked up his fez from a bookshelf nearby, "it's bunk beds."