G
The gun fell and hit the floor with a clatter that seemed like a bang to everyone but the shocked agent. Gabriel paid it no attention as he started at his dead brother with wide tearful eyes. His mind couldn't catch up. This was wrong. He'd had a gun in his hand and he'd put pressure in the trigger, but he couldn't... He wouldn't have shot! Yet, the evidence was right in front of his face. Lucifer was covered in his own blood a bullet had punched through his scull.
Gabriel squeezed as eyes shut tight not wanting to see the corpse lying in front of him. The corpse of the boy who'd once taught him how to play chess, put bandaids on his scraped knees, and helped train him. The boy he'd killed. Gabriel didn't care at the moment that that same boy had grown into a monster that had been cruel to him. He didn't care that many other lives had probably been saved. All Gabriel could think was his brother was dead and it was his fault.
He wasn't aware of his harsh wheezing breathes or the way he was curled up painfully tight. His fingernails dug into his arms in his desperate attempts to crush himself smaller. He wanted to disappear.
B
Balthazar hadn't even flinched when Dean had taken the shot at Lucifer. They'd ran through the empty house and jumped over the bodies filling the halls. Balthazar had felt a cense of dread watching Gabriel aim at his brother. Gabriel had never hated his brother. He'd never shoot his blood. To Gabriel Novak who had killed a hundreds of evil scum, his brother was off limits.
Balthazar had been taking aim himself when Dean's bullet slammed into the older Novak's head. Gabriel never would've done it but Dean Winchester had no problem ending the life of an evil man. Lucifer's men had put a knife to Sam's throat and that probably had a huge part in the way Dean's hand was swift and steady. The Dean Winchester there was no grey area in this. Anyone who touched Sam would die. It was just that simple.
Balthazar raised his gun to shoot at the man holding Sam at knife point. He was honestly amazed that Dean hadn't focussed on him first. He'd underestimated Dean Winchester, it seemed. Dean had figured out to save Gabriel first because if he'd shot at Sam's captor Lucifer would've shot Gabe.
Dean must have realized that if the small agent died Sam would follow. That seemed to be another simple fact. Sam followed Gabriel. He'd trusted Balthazar to take Sam's danger down. Balthazar really like to annoy Dean-He could do it non stop for hours and not get bored.- He would never betray this trust.
Dean would be forever in his debt for saving Sammy. The thought made a grim smile appear on his face as he shot. Deadly accuracy practiced for years had a bullet splitting Sam's attacker's head open before the knife could do more than draw a drop of blood.
Gun raised, Balthazar spun around in search of other enemies. Dean seemed to be handling the situation as rage for the men that dared to touch Sam fueled his movements. Balthazar's gaze instead fell on Gabriel and his grin disappeared. He ran over to his friends side and shook him hard. He stopped immediately as a choked cry tore from the small agent's throat.
Balthazar felt guilt slam into him. He jerked his hands away as if he'd been burt.
Gabriel had tears running down his cheeks and he couldn't get his breathing under control. He was curled into a tight ball and his eyes were shut tight. All skin that Balthazar could see was a light red, covered in bruises, or splattered with Lucifer's blood. He glanced toward the dead body in front of them and wished he could kill him all over again.
Balthazar didn't understand why Gabriel was panicking over the death of his tormentor, but the whys never did matter in the field. All that ever matter was what was happening and an agents reaction to it.
Balthazar was careful this time not to hurt the small agent. He gently laid a hand on Gabriel's knee and commanded, "Open your eyes Gabe. Gabriel now!" Gabriel just shook his head and muttered, "I killed him. No... Please no." Balthazar winced at the scratchy forced sound of his friends usually smooth voice.
Balthazar frowned and said, "No. Gabe you didn't-" "Move!" Balthazar jumped at the command and scooted out of the way as Sam ran to his agent. He'd never heard Sam Winchester sound so desperate and so dangerous. Balthazar was roughly shoved away.
He was actually a bit shocked. Sam was always so calm at the agency. He was quiet often the voice of reason.
Balthazar shouldn't have been so surprised by the way he had been pushed away. Gabriel had always been the exception to Sam's usual calm. Any danger to Gabriel brought out a side of Sam that could be downright scary. It was that side of Sam that would do anything to protect his agent and Balthazar had no doubt that Sam would beat the shit out of him if he blocked Sam's way to Gabriel. He got to his feet and backed up with his hands up in front of him.
G
Gabriel wasn't aware of much. The crushing guilt seemed to take over everything else. He wasn't aware that he was barely breathing. He wasn't aware that his own hands clutched his shoulders hard enough to leave marks. He wasn't even aware that Sam was frantically calling his name.
In the past, hearing Sam afraid was always enough to pull him back to reality. Even shocked or in pain some subconscious part of Gabriel understood that Sam needed him and he needed to get his sh*t together. Gabriel had been convinced that he would always be able to hold himself together for Sam. He would do anything for Sam. Yet, Sam's calls didn't exist in Gabriel's mind at the moment.
Nothing but panic and grief existed until he felt someone grab him and a new sensation pushed it's way into his awareness. Pain was something he would've rather gone without, but it did cause his eyes to snap open.
He stared into the familiar chocolate brown eyes in front of him. He felt Sam's gentle touches. There was a warm hand on his shoulder and it didn't hurt. Sam's touch was feather light and even Gabriel's burnt skin couldn't protest the gentle treatment. He was grateful for Sam's caution that would normal make him laugh.
Sam had alway gentle been with Gabriel, even when he didn't need it. Gabriel didn't feel like his was really all there at the moment. Half of him was floating while the other half was held in place by Sam.
The same Sam who had just offered him a weak smile. Sam's mouth was moving but Gabriel didn't feel like trying to understand the words that might as well by in a different language. Instead, he focussed on the communication he could currently comprehend without making his head hurt. Sam's hand was still feeling his pulse as if he feared it would disappear. Gabriel watched their entwined hands for a a few moments.
It felt right and warm in the way he had missed. Not burning like fire, more like the kind a blanket brings. Gabriel felt content like this. The world was fuzzy but Sam's hand never left his so it had to be okay.
Gabriel looked up and saw tears rolling down Sam's face. Gabriel frowned. He hated to see Sam sad. He always had and he had always been able to fix it and make Sam laugh.
Gabriel smiled at Sam as the world faded away.
S
Sam pulled his limp agent close and sobbed. The events of the past week finally caught up to him. The worry, the fear, and all the guilt for killing that was held back broke through Sam's mental damn. I crashed through his mind and escaped in heart wrenching sobs. Even as Sam cried, his fingers never left the pulse point on Gabriel's wrist. The constant beating punched the message into Sam's thoughts.
Alive...Alive...Alive. He's alive.
Sam sobbed out his thanks to his agent in broken words. he needed to thank Gabriel for hanging onto life. Sam would forever be grateful. Not all his sobs were in sadness.
Most came from the waves of relief and happiness the slammed into him as he held Gabriel. It was emotion stronger than Sam had ever felt and there was never other way to deal at the moment then to let it burst out.
Maybe, Dean was right and he really was turning into a giant girl. At the moment he didn't care. The only thing he cared about was the beating of Gabriel's heart.
Sam lost track of time as he zoned out to the soft beating. His eyes closed as the reassurance of life let his adrenalin fade alway for the first time in about a week. He became aware of his aching limbs and wondered if he'd slept at all this whole time.
He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His head snapped up to stare at his older brother. Dean smiled reassuringly even though Sam could tell it was forced the gesture helped Sam get his act together. He didn't want to let go of Gabriel, so he tilted his head to wipe his tears off on his shoulder.
Dean nodded and said, "That's it Sammy. I called an ambulance for pipsqueak. Come on bitch, get up and do your job."
Dean's words may have seemed harsh, but they were said in an affectionate tone. Sam could see his brother was worried by the fact that Dean still hadn't moved his hand off of his shoulder and they way that Dean kept looking at him closely checking for injuries. Dean's words were just what Sam needed. Do your job. Sam's job was to take care of his agent and that's what he would do.
Sam shook his head as if he could shake off his exhaustion. He allowed himself to feel Gabriel's pulse for a few seconds longer. He smiled softly, finding it still there.
Sam nodded to Dean and let go of Gabriel's wrist. He gently scooped the small man up bridal style. Gabriel moaned and Sam felt pain as if he was the one injured. He hushed his agent with a soft kiss to the forehead. Sam pulled Gabriel close as his agent fell silent.
It was crazy how instinctual it was for Sam to immediately provide comfort when Gabriel was hurting. He guessed it had always been that way, but Gabriel had never let Sam fuss before. Sam doubted his agent ever would again.
Gabriel was out of it right now and Sam allowed himself to openly worry and fuss. It helped him to feel like he was helping even if at best he was only providing a small comfort. Gabriel deserved to have someone looking out for him. Sam had no quarrel what so ever with being that person. It just meant that he had to be close to the agent and Sam had never planned on leaving.
Someone cleared their throat. Sam glared at Dean and Balthazar as if daring them to comment. Balthazar just shrugged and led the way out of the house. Dean walked next to Sam and watched his little brother carefully. Sam only had eyes for the man in his arms.
Gabriel looked completely dead to world. He didn't move or make any noise as Sam carried him out of the house. That bothered Sam a lot. Even asleep Gabriel was never this still. Sam had spent nights staring at the top bunk and listening to the bunks creak and the russell of sheets. It was nice after a nightmare to hear evidence that Gabriel was alive. Sam's worst dreams were about losing Gabriel. There was no use denying it.
Sam quickened his pace. He wouldn't let Gabriel die on him. It simply wasn't allowed at this point. It couldn't happen because Sam could't afford to believe that it could.
The flashing lights ahead shun like a the a beacon, the light at the end of their tunnel.
Yay! Gabriel is alive! Really short chapter I know. School is starting and I haven't had much time to write but I didn't want to keep you waiting too long. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review to let me know what you think. : D !