Chapter Six
A/N: So, this chapter was kind of sad to write… I feel a bit like Steven Moffat, making my characters go through pain and heartbreak *evil grin* Anyway, I hope it's not too terrible, I've been having struggles writer's block *sigh*… As usual, reviews are welcomed! Thanks, beautiful people! :)
With only three words, Bucky's world came crashing down around him. He felt that he was drowning, being swept miles away by his terror. No, it's not true, it can't be true. I'm just having another bad dream. It's just another nightmare. I need to wake up… James, wake up!
Subconsciously, he was aware of someone screaming in the distance. Who was that? Did they find out that that their life is ruined as well? Finally, he breached the surface of reality, fighting his way through the chaos of his mind. He realized that it was in fact, his screams that he heard echoing through the building as he cowered on the floor in fear. Both Steve and Raelynn were on the floor as well, trying to help him, tears and distress painted her face.
Then everything went silent.
x x x
He was aware of the fact that there was someone in the room beside him before he fully opened his eyes. He turned his head slightly and found that Raelynn's head was resting on the crook of her arm, sleeping peacefully. He smiled as he took in her red curls spread in disarray around her head. Her hand was stretched out as if she had fallen asleep clutching his.
"Hey sleepyhead. Lynnie, wake up," he placed a gentle kiss against her temple and she stirred.
"James?" She blinked up at him as she slowly slipped out of her drowsy haze. He felt a stab of guilt as she stared at him with her tear stained face. "Oh my god! James, are you okay? You were out for a really long time." Bucky looked over at the clock and saw that it was midnight. "I slept for nine hours?"
She looked away uneasily. "Well, actually, no. You've been out for more than thirty hours."
"Oh." He cleared his throat. She touched his hand gently. "Are you okay? I mean, I know that's a stupid question, but…" she trailed off.
"I'm okay right now, I guess. I'm still in shock I think." Raelynn joined him on the bed and cautiously wrapped her arm around him. Bucky pulled her into his side and she let out a sigh.
"Steve told me what happened. I'm sorry. I wish that there was something that I could do to help."
"You're already doing it." He buried his face in her skin and inhaled slowly. He stayed like that, peacefully breathing in her scent as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I can't escape, can I? I was stupid to think that I was actually able to start over." He said it quietly; his voice barely above a whisper.
Raelynn grasped his face in her hands and tugged it up to meet hers. "James, stop it."
"Maybe… Maybe I'm not meant to start over. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy. Maybe I'm not meant to find my way back this time." He said it more to himself than Raelynn.
"How dare you say that, James? Don't you ever say anything like that again." He finally met her gaze and he realized that she was crying. He felt another stab of guilt. Shit. "You can't give up. You can't run away; once you start running, they'll never let you stop."
He stared at her in awe. He was taken back at just how much he had fallen in love with her in such a short time. It amazed him how dedicated she was to plunging herself into the darkness to bring him back into the light. I have to do whatever it takes to protect her. He clutched her shoulders and looked at her deeply.
"I promise you that no matter what happens, I will always find my way back to you, Raelynn. Always."
She smiled as she wiped away a tear. "Damn right, you bastard."
"I'm sorry. I regret scaring you, Lynnie."
"I don't like seeing people giving up on their selves. People don't realize just how strong they can be." She paused, breaking his gaze. "After my parents died, I got really low. I was alone, just some weird Romanian kid with an accent and frizzy hair and no one to turn to. I thought that giving up was the better option." She sighed heavily before she continued. "I tried to end things, James. But somehow, I was alive somehow. I'm not overtly religious, but I think that means something. I'm here for a reason and so are you. I swore to myself that I would dedicate myself to helping others find their strengths."
Bucky pulled her onto his chest, burying his face into her hair. "You know that you're amazing, right?"
She snorted. "I'm well aware of this James."
He lay with her on his chest, inhaling her shampoo, listening to her breathing gradually slow until she was sound asleep. He stared up at the ceiling for what felt like centuries, lost in his own thoughts. From the corner of his eye, he noticed sunlight beginning to stream through his blinds. Raelynn shifted next to him and he smiled as she murmured his name softly. He watched her for a while, vowing to do what it took to protect her.
He slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb her and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 7:20 am. Good, Steve will be getting back from his run soon.
Bucky slipped out of his room and headed down the hall, catching Steve as he entered the living room.
"Hey, Steve, I need to talk to you for a minute."
"What's up, Bucky?"
"I'm in. I want to help you take down Hydra again." Steve started to protest but Bucky continued. "But this time, it's different. There's a chance that Raelynn could be in danger, and it's safe to say that she's never dealt with anything like this before. I have to make sure that she's protected."
Steve nodded in agreement. "Of course, Bucky. Last night Natasha brought that up to me and she suggested that she take Raelynn underground to one of her safehouses for a little while; just to make sure that she's out of harm's way."
"When?"
"The sooner the better, as a precaution. Natasha is pretty sure from the intel she has that what's left of Hydra is in no shape to devise an attack. She think that they're still re-grouping, raising their numbers; you know the whole 'cut off one head, two more shall take its place' thing."
Bucky rolled his eyes, before he nodded in response. He leaned against the wall and stared down Steve for a second. "You know that you don't have to do this right? Fight Hydra. I can do it myself."
"The hell I don't. Bucky, you know I'm with you 'til the end of the line."
"You're always going to be that skinny kid that's too dumb to run away from a fight, aren't you?" Steve and Bucky both laughed tensely. "So, what's the intel that Natasha has?"
x x x
Raelynn was immediately aware that the bed was empty as she blinked the sleep away from her eyes.
A throaty voice came from the door and she almost screamed.
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." Rae looked up to find Natasha casually leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed.
"Wha—?"
"We're going on a little adventure, you and me." She answered simply.
"What?" Rae repeated, even more confused. "You and I, we're going on the run. Orders of Cap and Tin Man. I mean, James. Sorry, Tony calls him that all the time and it caught on."
Rae smiled a bit through her confusion. "No judging. But, still I'm confused. Why, Natasha?"
She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "James is adamant that you're safe, since he's decided to help Rogers take down Hydra again. If you ask me, he's being a little overprotective. There are only a few known Hydra operatives that slipped through our grasp, so it should be relatively easy to stop them before they do anything drastic." She explained and Rae nodded vigorously.
"But I think it's cute that James is being overprotective. Everyone should have someone that they're willing to put first." Natasha added quietly, as she stared out of the window.
She hopped off of the bed and pulled Rae with her. "Come on, let's go get you ready to go on the run."
x x x
Rae glanced at Natasha as she tried to shoo Boots off of the suitcase that she was tossing items into. After the cat hissed at her for the third time, her Natasha's nostrils flared and she threw her hands on her hips in frustration. "Fucking cat."
"So, since I'm doing the whole underground thing, what am I going to do about work? What about school? I can't just disappear without notice."
"Don't worry; I took care of both of those." She answered vaguely.
"What does that mean? You didn't kill anyone, did you?"
"What? No! I promise. I am capable of normal human interaction, you know."
Raelynn passed her a bag of toiletries and shrugged. "Just making sure."
"Speaking of normal human interaction, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, Nat."
She cleared her throat and sat on the edge of the bed, Boots climbing onto her lap. "What's sex with James like? It seems like it would be very interesting."
Raelynn knocked over a pile of socks that she'd been sorting through. "W-what?!"
"Just wondering. Girl talk, you know." She paused as she absentmindedly stroked Boots. "Does he use the arm… you know?" She made a face, arching one of her eyebrows and smirking slightly and Raelynn understood exactly what she meant.
Oh, god. "I, uh… Well, he… uhhh…" she trailed off, mumbling incoherently as she stared at the ceiling. "Actually, we haven't, you know, had sex yet." Her voice got higher as she spoke and Natasha's face exploded in surprise.
"Oh. The arm thing freaks you out?"
"No, it freaks him out. He's afraid that he'll break me or something. But I'm not that fragile," she joined Natasha on the bed.
Natasha glanced at her. "I'm pretty sure that he know that, but like Steve, he blames himself for what he can't control. He just wants to protect the few things in the world that matter to him." Natasha gently touched Raelynn's shoulder. "He'll have help, don't worry." She gave Raelynn the warmest smile that she'd ever seen cross her face, and she felt significantly better.
There was a hushed knock on the front door and Natasha jumped from the bed. "That's Steve and James; he wanted to say goodbye, before we leave."
Raelynn nodded as she headed off towards the front door. She focused on finishing the task of shoving clothes into her bag.
"Lynnie," James leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. After a bit of effort, Raelynn tore her eyes from his biceps and finally made eye contact. Now really isn't the time for me to be distracted by this boy's beauty, she admonished herself. These are serious times.
"Howdy." She tucked a pair of jeans into her bag and zipped it up. James closed the distance between them, taking her into his arms. She tucked her face into his chest and he closed his arms around her tightly.
"What about Boots?" She mumbled into his shirt.
"What?"
"Boots, my cat. I can't just leave her here all alone, she needs me. What's gonna happen to her?"
He laughed and the sound rumbled through his chest. "Really? There's a terrorist organization on the rise that your boyfriend and his best friend are going off to take them out and you're worried about Boots?" He kissed the top of her head.
"Well, yeah, there's no point in sitting around worrying about you. You're a grown ass man with a metal arm, you'll be fine." She was only partially telling a lie. She was trying to keep herself from freaking out about everything, so she diverted her attention on her cat instead. She threw her arms around James' neck. "Oh, I know! I'll drop her off at my neighbor's house."
"Good idea."
Raelynn sighed as James wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. It's not fair. Why can't we just stay like this forever? It's not fair that we're being pulled apart when we've just found each other.
Raelynn unknowingly let out a frustrated sigh. James pulled back and gazed at her. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just that life isn't fair," she laughed dryly. "I mean, I've always known that life isn't fair, that it's supposed to hurt and sometimes we fall down. But sometimes, I'm hyperaware of the shitty things we have to go through."
"Wow, that's the most negative thing that I've heard come out of your mouth."
"Sometimes, even optimists get fed up with the chaos of the world James." She smiled up at him and he smoothed her hair back, kissing the tip of her nose softly.
"We should leave now beautiful. Come on." He seized her bag from the bed and grabbed Boots, passing her off to Raelynn.
After delivering the kitten to her neighbor, much to the confusion of the cat, Raelynn followed the Natasha, James and Steve out of the apartment building.
James walked Raelynn to the door of Natasha's car, tossing her bag into the backseat. He grabbed her wrist before she slipped through the passenger's side door. "Hey, not matter what happens, I'll find my way back to you. Okay?"
Raelynn traced her fingers against his jawline and, smiling wistfully. "Damn, right sailor." She pecked his cheek before she got into the car. Natasha rolled down the window and leaned over the center console toward James.
"I'll take care of her, Barnes."
"Don't turn my girlfriend into a superspy. I don't need her trying to snap my neck with her thighs."
"Who knows, maybe you'll like it." Natasha winked and Raelynn snorted loudly. She wiggled her fingers at James before Natasha sped off from the curb. She twisted in her seat, staring at James until his form receded from view. Well, this is going to be interesting for our relationship, she thought sighing heavily.
x x x
Bucky stared after Natasha's car long after it was gone. He was hoping that this was just some long, very specific dream that he had yet to wake up from, but when Steve joined his side he knew that it was real life.
Steve laid his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "You could have went with her, you know."
"Yeah, I know, but this is something that I have to do to keep my sanity. What's left of it, anyway. Getting rid of Hydra for good will hopefully let me be able to move on. Raelynn deserves someone that isn't going to fall apart easily. I want my life back Steve."
Steve nodded vigorously, identifying with everything that he had said. "Then let's go get it back."