The dawn was just beginning to break through the grey clouds of the cold December morning. As she had since she returned home the previous night, Kim stared out the window, her eyes seeing little of the scenery.
After Roman had left the hospital, the family had scattered. Bo had taken off to try and talk some sense into Roman. Kayla had gone to get Stephanie and word soon reached Kim that Kayla would be taking Stephanie to her grandparents. Kim had no doubt what that meant, and she had momentarily smiled as she pictured Kayla following Bo to the police station. But the smile had faltered quickly when she had thought about her older brother's unwillingness to listen to reason.
Kim had lingered briefly, stopping in John's room to let Isabella know to call if there was any change in his condition. Then, not knowing what else to do, Kim had returned home.
Home. Such as small, simple word, that signified so much. Love, family, security. Yet, at the moment, the mansion that was her home was nothing more than bricks and wood. Without Shane there, without knowing whether he was alive or dead, the house they had shared was not home.
No, she told herself. Shane is alive. She knew he was, because she knew she would have felt it if he were gone. So she held onto that thought like a lifeline, sitting stock still as the hours ticked by.
The pale light of the winter sun finally broke through Kim's trance and she turned and looked at the clock. It was nearly 7:30 a.m. and she knew that Andrew would be up, getting ready for school. She was also sure that Jeannie would be waking at any moment.
Kim breathed a sigh of relief that Eve was currently out of town on a business trip for Julie. She knew that Eve would be hysterical if she learned that Shane was missing. Kim had pondered calling Eve to tell her what was going on, but there was nothing Eve could do. She rationalized that there was no point in telling Eve until she had to.
Knowing she needed to be strong for Andrew and Jeannie, Kim pulled herself out of the overstuffed chair she had been sitting in all night. She placed the blanket she had used for warmth on the bed and wrapped her robe around her.
Her eyes lingered on Shane's robe lying on the end of the bed. Had it only been the previous morning that they had made love in that bed? It already seemed like a lifetime ago.
Opening her hand, she looked down at the cameo she had held all night. Again, Shane's words came back to her. As long as you have it, nothing will keep us apart. She silently prayed that those words were true.
"They have to be," she said aloud, almost as if saying the words would give them greater force.
Placing the cameo in the pocket of her robe, Kim went to the bathroom, splashed some water on her face, and brushed her hair. She hoped that if she looked normal, Andrew would not pick up on anything. Her son was perceptive, and the last thing she wanted was to scare him again.
Taking a deep breath and gathering her strength, Kim left the bedroom. She walked quickly to Jeannie's nursery and quietly opened the door. She was not surprised to see her daughter sitting in her crib, contentedly playing with a stuffed animal.
"There's my favorite girl," Kim said with a forced cheerfulness. "How long have you been awake?"
Jeannie looked up and smiled at the sight of her mother. As Kim moved towards the crib, Jeannie pulled herself up and began babbling excitedly.
Kim couldn't help but chuckle at her daughter's antics. Reaching down, she pulled Jeannie from the crib and moved quickly to the changing table. With practiced speed, Kim had Jeannie changed and dressed in minutes.
"All right, let's go see if your brother is ready for school." Picking up Jeannie, Kim headed out the door of the nursery and downstairs to the kitchen.
As she neared the kitchen, she could smell the breakfast that Simmons had prepared and could hear her son talking excitedly, although she could not make out the words.
Pasting a cheerful smile on her face, she entered the kitchen. "Good morning," she said to Simmons and Andrew as she walked to the table and placed Jeannie in her high chair.
"Good morning, madam," Simmons replied. Kim did not miss the slight question in his voice and eyes and shook her head slightly in return. Simmons shoulders drooped imperceptibly and then straightened as he moved toward the refrigerator. "I'll have Miss Jeannie's breakfast ready momentarily."
"Thank you," Kim replied. She knew that Simmons was deeply worried about Shane, even if he would never admit it.
Turning to her son, Kim forced herself to smile. "Are you all ready for school today?"
"Yep," Andrew replied emphatically. "We get to write letters to Santa today!"
Kim's smile was genuine this time. "Do you have your list all figured out?"
Andrew nodded again. "Simmons and I went through the toy catalog last night. He helped me write down all the things to ask Santa for."
Kim could only imagine the length of Andrew's letter to Santa. She was grateful that despite all that had happened in the past months, her son could still lose himself in the simple childhood joy of Christmas and Santa Claus.
The morning routine continued on a morning that was anything but routine for Kim. As Andrew began detailing his list of toys he wanted from Santa, Kim's thoughts were dominated by one thing: All she wanted was for Shane to return home safely.