And here it is.
I tried and tried and tried to perfect the ending, but everything seemed so...out of place until now. Maybe all of you will like it, maybe not, but I feel like I gave the peace that Hermione and Klaus needed. And maybe it gave me a sense of peace as well. I spent so much time and tears as well investing a lot of emotion into this story.
Hopefully you will like it.
And feel it.
Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Her.
.:To Become:.
Hermione couldn't forget that night.
Getting high in order to one up Lavender seemed a bit silly, childish even, but the little trip she had that night had riled her up. Memories of him and the reality of her life crashed in that one moment, and here she was running around her apartment, digging through every box to find anything that reminded her of him.
No matter how hard she tried to bury her feelings they kept bubbling up from that tightly-sealed box.
But she found one thing.
A book she had borrowed from him during her stay, Lolita. He always told her that the love in this book was not love but rather possession, which was not love at all, he concluded. He had only read the book a dozen times during his time in the modern world. It wasn't his favorite but it brought out his thoughts about possession and love.
Possession and love.
She often questioned him then about his family and then later about her. However, of course, the love in this book was a sick twisted form of affection that was rebuilt into another girl, who was the reflection of a dead love. Through all the rational that he tried to use to explain his sick form of love, it all boiled down to obsession and possessing those you desire. He craved for control, and he controlled the mother and her daughter. He claimed to love the daughter in his sick way, rationalizing his wrongs by telling himself that he loves her.
But love was not about possession.
It does not control.
It does not inflict pain on others.
It does not abuse one's heart or soul.
And yet despite all of these things, Hermione could not help but to miss him.
She burned that horrid book that night.
But why did she feel this way?
What was this ache in her heart?
He was a monstrous being, and it wasn't due to the fact of his hybrid state. She knew it was unnatural for someone to be that indestructible; however, she could not label him a monster for that. It bothered her because it threw the whole world into a balancing act, but the true reason why she would ever call Klaus a monster was because of his selfish heart.
He possessed people like the way a collector possessed his prized-possessions.
And possession was not love.
"But I love him."
~x~
He did not know what to do.
He was acting like a fool, and he knew it, too.
In actuality, Klaus was acting like a complete coward. Ever since that accident, if a bit clandestine, meeting with Hermione, he has been her shadow for the past few weeks. She was different. Her atrocious hair had been chopped off into an almost chic but carefree bob.
Thinner, complexion has become brighter, her cheeks a bit rosier.
She seemed more at peace with herself.
And he did not want to disrupt that serenity.
But in deep in his crumbling heart, the fiery and selfish desires lit once more. He could not let her go, not when he needed her so. He needed her, and he always will.
Though, these emotions that festered inside his being could not justify his cruel and selfish intentions, but he wanted her. He needed her. For she was water and he was a dying man. Salvation wrapped in the petite body of someone so young with an old soul.
He loved her.
He loves her.
And that's why he couldn't let her go.
~X~
"You've never told me what happened back in the States, 'Mione," Harry casually stirred his coffee, "and I've always wondered what happened there when you left. And why you came back. Not that I'm not glad that you did, but I'm curious."
Hermione certainly did not expect Harry to question her about what did happen when she went on her little misadventure, but that was only because he knew that it would upset her, driving her back into her shell.
But she was okay now.
At least she thought she was.
Hopefully.
"I fell in and out of love, but never stayed in either place to determine what my heart wanted," Hermione paused to take a sip of her own drink, "and I was scared."
She was terrified.
She was scared of him.
Of her feelings.
Of what could have been.
And what it would actually be.
A life bound to a selfish man whose moods swayed back and forth like a pendulum, loving her in one moment and lashing out at her in the next. A messy, dysfunctional family that surrounded her, playing their mind games in order to entertain their thousand-year old souls. And yet she loved him. She loved them.
And despite every single fault that they had, every single fault that he possessed, she couldn't change her heart.
To her, he was a man without faults.
He was perfection.
Sweet, sweet messy and dysfunctional perfection.
Harry gave her a peculiar look.
"How did life take away that Gryffndor heart of yours?"
She gave him a teary smile.
"I accidentally lost it."
And Klaus stumbled upon it.
~x~
"So what have you been doing with your pathetic life, brother?" Kol's cheery voice chirped over the phone. Apparently his two trouble-making siblings were out exploring the Old World again, enjoying the old and not-quite-new aspects of the cities. Wondering back to their old lives, he thought with bittersweet amusement.
"Stumbled upon something I lost."
"Or someone?" Kol pressed.
"Something like that."
"I think she stumbled upon you, brother, tumbling down, and why it is quite unfortunate for her, she took you down with her."
Klaus chuckled but he couldn't disagree with his brother.
"We could be a million miles away, Kol, and she would always make me fall with her."
"I think that's a combination of horrible accidents and gravity, my dear brother."
~~x~
Sometimes she would notice how he would look at her, but she would turn away before the moment would pass. Hermione couldn't let the moment pass between them for if it did then it meant something existed between them beyond friendship.
And Hermione thought of Draco Malfoy as only a friend, though, he thought differently.
Despite the impending wedding and the exchange of sacred vows between the Greenegrass beauty and the Malfoy heir, Draco still spent the majority of his time glued to Hermione's side while his fiancee spent his money. Between the their shared laughter and the still moment that hung heavily in the air, somehow feelings were caught, and Hermione couldn't cure Draco of such dire diagnosis.
Unrequited love equated heartbreak.
And so she would let those intense moments die, terrified if that it did pass then it could be easily replayed in her head.
And it could easily fool her into thinking that she could give him something that was already gone.
~x~
She rocked back in forth in the chair, peace settling in her heart as she listened to Ginny's soft voice singing to her little ones while Harry twiddled with a ukulele. The fire crackled in front of her, Harry's happy humming made her smile.
It was lovely.
"-a million miles away," Hermione softly sang along with Ginny.
Harry had introduced them to a muggle movie, Her, and Ginny had fallen in love with the muggle world and its technology. While artificial intelligence and the possibility of it evolving still seems to be farther down on the road, the soulful movie had struck a chord within the girls.
To connect with someone, to love them beyond the lines, and to grow back into the person you once were.
Hermione needed to see it.
Now she wanted to live it.
Minus falling in love with an OS.
She was simply in love with a hybrid.
"-While it is a cozy night to stay in, I believe I'm bringing quite a surprise that I stumbled upon your door, Potter!" Draco had just walked through the door, swagger still tightly in place.
Harry and Draco had an odd hate-love friendship, but it seemed to work for them.
In his hands, Hermione noticed, were a bouquet of flowers. The color palette consisted of soft whites, dreamy blues, and wistful purples. She wondered if Ginny had attracted another admirer, though, they were usually intimidated by Harry so if this was the case then the admirer had courage to do so.
That or was simply stupid enough to do it.
"To the witch that had and always will aggravate my heart.-K.M"
Hermione's heart plummeted and her face had gone white.
Harry noticed her anxiety.
"I guess he found you again."
Draco raised a brow.
"This isn't a game of hide-and-seek, Potter."
"Not really. More of the, I want you back, kind."
Hermione felt sick but elated at the same time.
"I-I-I," she stuttered, tears flooding her eyes, "I never loved anyone else like I loved him."
She spilled the truth while her eyes rolled down her cheeks.
She shouldn't have said it, but now the words were out into the world.
She hopes that he is near.
Draco brushed his knuckles against her cheek, catching a drop of her sadness. He gave her a sad smile, and she knew why. It was the same smile she wore when she knew she was trying to win a losing battle. She always knew that Draco had fallen for her.
"Love doesn't exist in pureblood marriages. Friendship can exist, but never love. Astoria will help the Malfoy name, but not my fucked up existence. Long-term goals, though, long-term goals."
Hermione just couldn't bring herself to actually catch him, baggage and all.
But how could she talk about his baggage when she is willing to carry Klaus's thousand-year old wardrobe full of his own stinking shit?
"I lost again, didn't I?" He gave her a butterfly kiss on her forehead, not wanting to hear her answer.
Harry looked away as did his wife, both not wanting to look into a world that was beyond their own. The glimpses that Hermione allowed them both to have were all accidents, often in an emotional fit, but never intimate. He liked Draco, and he loved Hermione.
But he knew that he didn't have a say in either of their hearts.
So he simply turned away.
"I'm sorry, Draco," Hermione whispered into his neck, feeling the shudder of his body against hers, "If only-" "Don't wish for things, Granger. Not when you can have it at any moment."
She smiled ruefully at him.
"I can't have half of you and neither can Astoria. I've already lost to her a long time ago."
Like she lost to Caroline.
Her heart clenched.
"Unfair, Granger. I lost you to a man long before I had a chance."
"Life isn't fair, didn't you know that?"
~x~
Hermione knew she was being watched for awhile now, though, she didn't know who it was until an overly-confident blonde plopped down a seat across from her when she was out on a lunch break. Hermione was sure that she spat out some of her drink when she saw Caroline in all of her glory, still young as the last time she saw her.
Even when the blonde looked like a mess, she still looked lovely with her sad eyes.
Insecurity clawed at her.
"Long time no see, Hermione." Caroline lamely started but unashamed but her attempts to break the thick ice. "It's been awhile."
"Awhile, yes," Hermione echoed her words, mind up in the clouds, "Why are you here?"
And that's when Caroline exploded in a mess of words and explanations but no matter how many words spilled from that pretty pink pout, Hermione still couldn't understand the emotion that Caroline had felt about them.
Hermione and Klaus.
She wasn't jealous, perhaps a little, but Caroline couldn't help it.
Caroline wanted to hate Hermione but the Hermione she wanted to hate was a treasured memory deeply embedded in Klaus's heart, which will become an eventual reality that she must accept the idea of them before it could hit her. She needed to have this talk with Hermione before anything happened.
She needed this to move on.
She deserved this.
"I know that Klaus is here," Caroline shakingly said, "And I know that there is a strong possibility that you still love him."
Hermione opened her mouth but was silenced by Caroline's hand.
And it was then the witch realized that the blonde vampire was shaking, tears threatening to spill from her cornflower blue eyes.
"We were together for so long, at least, longer than any relationship I ever had, but it was because of the role he played in my life and the role I played in his. I'm not bitter about it," Caroline paused, her eyes bright not with tears but with loss, "at least, not anymore."
Her fingers traced the lines on the table.
Hermione was lost for words as she watched Caroline unravel before her.
She was so lovely: a beautiful mess wide open for the world to see. Even with sad, red eyes and messy curls, her beauty was unmatched. Her emotion was what every artist tried to capture, the essence of her entirety in a frozen moment. The golden hour was upon them, and the room was flooded by the warm hues of the dying day.
Sometimes Hermione wondered why Klaus didn't fall for Caroline.
Her youth was still intact, still fresh and unblemished from the true atrocities of this beautiful and ugly world. Caroline had her emotions in the right place, and life had yet to kill her courage and dreams. She was so open and fearless to the crashing waves of life, and yet Klaus chose a woman who had spent so many years on rebuilding herself.
Hermione couldn't be an eighth of what Caroline was.
She was poetry in motion. A line that every writer was so desperate to scribble down. An image of a different world. Hermione longed to be like Caroline, and yet she will never know that Caroline would do anything to be in her place. To be the one to be so desperately loved and worshiped.
To be that unforgettable woman.
These two women wanted something that the other had.
And Life was too selfish to give it to them so freely.
Caroline wrapped her grey-striped cardigan even tighter around her thin body.
"It's still a sore spot for me, but it won't hurt to see him with you. I don't have that same place in his life anymore. His feelings for me are not there. All the room in his heart was taken over by you."
She looked at her accusingly if a bit tiredly.
But Hermione did not flinch underneath her gaze.
"I can't exactly say I'm sorry."
Caroline's lips quirked into a sad smile.
"I didn't expect you to."
~x~
Today he gave her a rare edition of muggle faerie tales, and she had been reading it all day at the cafe. I t was then she began to wonder when Klaus would just show up and demand that they should be together again, which made sense since it is a Klaus thing to do. Or perhaps Hermione was becoming antsy with the inevitable meeting. Would he still look the same in his dark clothes and overly-cheeky self?
Was he still temperamental?
She wondered about a lot of things.
Would she smile when she saw him? Scream and cry? Or just be simply...happy?
It was a game of cat and mouse for weeks now.
She would get a lovely gift from him, and she would search for him throughout the crowds or out the window. Though, she knew that if he wanted her to see him then he would appear right before her. Hermione guessed it was because he was watching her reaction, to see if she wanted him to be part of her life again.
And she did.
She would always smile and accept the gifts, going on her merry way to whatever she was doing at the moment. The emptiness that she had felt over the past years was slowly being replaced with small doses of happiness and butterflies. Hermione no longer had to search for a phantom of what could have been.
For it was all happening right now.
After meeting up with Caroline, she was a bundle of anxious nerves.
So when she walked into her flat one day, she couldn't say she was surprised to see him on her couch with his nose deep in an old edition of Hogwarts: A History, but the wave of emotion was what crushed her and left her breathless. Tears spilled from her eyes, and when he looked at her with those pretty blue eyes, she sobbed.
His lips quirked up into an awkward smile.
"You aren't suppose to cry when you see me, darling." And he said it so casually, as if years hadn't passed and as if the agony of being away from each other didn't exist. But both knew that all the hurt and loneliness couldn't be erased, and neither of them could forget the poisonous fights that they had to endure when they were together.
But despite all the anger and pain, they still love each other.
For how can you truly appreciate something when it's always there?
How can you love someone without having moments of anger and feelings of uncertainty, and yet still stay beside them, curling up to their form?
For every explosive outburst, there is always a comforting embrace.
"You're a b-b-bloody idiot," she threw her umbrella at him for when was there not a rainy day in England? "You show up in my flat uninvited, how the heck is that even possible?"
"You aren't the owner, and I asked your scarred-head friend for permission. Not everything has to be done a shady way, Hermione." He told her with that air of knowing, and it reminded her of how much she hated how he did that.
How he made her feel so tiny compared to him and all his grand gestures, and yet their reunion was anything but.
Somehow she felt...not disappointed but relieved. For she didn't want anything grand from their first meeting with each other in years, no, she wanted their reunion to be painfully honest and more. She couldn't do a grand gesture, hell, she couldn't even do this without crying like a ninny.
He walked into her life with such ease while she walked out of his with great difficulty.
Trust Klaus to make everything look like a walk through the park, she thought with a small smile, wiping away her tears.
"You can't just waltz back into my life, Klaus." He frowned at her words.
"I'm not. And you're not walking into mine either. Nor are you walking out of it," he stood up from his seat, walking towards her with a look that made the tears flow even more, "You and I are going to waltz back into what should have been and what will be."
And then he was finally in front of her, and her entire being hummed at his closeness.
"And how do you know that this is what I want, Klaus?" She tested him, and a look of uncertainty crossed his handsome features.
He lifted his chin up in a curious manner.
"Have I ever been wrong?" And Hermione laughed, shaking her head at his confident smile.
"Thousands of times." And the smile fell off of his lips. "We simply can't pick up things where they left off, Klaus. Things between us were horrible. I was miserable, and you were vying for the attentions of another woman. I can't walk back into that. And you simply can't walk back into mine just like that. I'm a different person."
Klaus tilted his head, eyes flicking to her mouth and back into her eyes.
All of his hairs stood up at how her eyes raked over him.
He licked his lips. "But the very foundations of who you are, well, are the same. And I love that. I love you then and I love you now so please don't let this be a memory where I walk out through that door without your hand in mine."
And Klaus stood close to her, so close that she could feel his warmth seeping into her skin.
Could she let such a moment die?
Hermione took a step closer to him, and she let her breath tickle across his lips.
And this time, Hermione let the moment pass between him and her for she wanted to reach back into her memories in the future to remember how his eyes looked at her as if she were a dream about to escape in a cloud of irrational thoughts and how he desperately clung to her after the silence shrouded them.
She wanted to remember that she cried into the kiss, from the bursts of emotion in her heart and the intensity of their reunion. The words I love you in one kiss. The essence of their beings were exchanged, their emotion becoming liquid need and desire that slowly leaked from their hearts and soul, spilling into each other through that one kiss.
Hermione wanted this moment to be replayed for the rest of their days together.
But for now, they must relearn each other for everything they had loved about each other has been expanded by what they could love today. With hearts and hands entwined with one another, they slowly began to remember and discover together.
"Can the things we love, love us back just the same?"
-Wesley Chan, WongFuProductions-
And there you go.
Finally the end of this short but emotional story. I apologize for the long wait, and I apologize if it didn't meet your taste. The end is difficult to write when you don't know the end yourself. You have ideas and possibilities but writing it can take a completely different turn, and it kept happening several times. However, I do hope you liked it.
Because I love writing this story out for everyone, and most of all, for actually ending it the way it did.
Until the next piece,
-The Red Strings-
