Chapter 6

It's like everything around me is numb

Did he just say that he loves me?! And through a text message...

I don't know what to say,Should I even reply? We're only eleven,do we mean it?do we even know what love really means?All these questions roam in my head.

My first instinct is to show Joline "OH MY GOD! Did he just say that! He actually did" she shrieks like crazy

"What do I say?Should I even say anything?" I sucked all in and I'm starting to freak out "Yes you should...uhhh say that you..uh..you...I don't know"

*I knew it* I send back

I should probably feel bad or guilty atleast,but I don't know I just don't.

*Me too*he replies

Me too what! I didn't say anything, Whatever I decided to let it go for now but it was weird that he continued texting and never ask about it

...

Joline and I were going to sleep when she brought it up "Hey E?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't you tell Stefan that you loved him back?"

She asked me the question that she knew it's answer,so did I "I don't know,you know I'm not into dating and all that stuff and I wouldn't rush,we're still children after all" I said convincingly.

I always thought of the fact that I'm aware that we're still children and I never act upon it "I don't know" I blurted

"Well Ok,Good Night"

"Good Night"

...

I don't date...I don't like the whole idea of dating,the whole boyfriend/girlfriend method thing,I just don't feel it,it doesn't work with me I guess.

What's the whole thing of dating anyway? You go out with some guy the only thing you know is that you like him,atleast for that time,then if things don't work out you just get your heart broken,so what's the use of it anyway,I might be wrong about it but that's just how I see it.

Once I start getting all cheeky and cozy with someone,I get scared and I start to push that person and myself away,I start to retreat,and that's what I've been doing with Stefan lately,not that I did it with someone before but I know I was gonna,I NEVER liked dating.

"How are you?"

"Good,you?"

"Fine,I miss you"

"Yeah...:)"

"Are you coming to the training today?"

"Yes, ofcourse it's you're last day in the club today and I won't miss it"

":D"

"Well I gotta go now see you later"

"Alright,bye 3"

"Bye."

That's when I all started,he started being all cheeky and romantic and stuff.

I don't know what's wrong with me I just started pulling back and avoiding him.

I saw him later that day at the club during training,we kept stealing glances and I can't say I didn't like it and that I wasn't happy,because I don't,but I still don't know what's wrong with me towards him.

We held a party for him and his sister for leaving,it wasn't technically a party we were just hanging around with juice and chips

...

Days passed and practice was pretty much the same I just wish hadn't kept looking at the door every five minutes.

So when I went home I automatically got on facebook and I see that he already messaged me

"Hi,where have you been?"

"Uhhh..here xD" Ughhh I hate myself

"Doesn't seem like it,do you like don't want to talk to me or something?"

"What? no,of course not,it's just ummm you know...my sisters have all the time on the computer I don't have but like an hour or so" I lie,crap

"If you don't want to talk to me anymore just tell so that I could just go date someone else"

What!did he just say that? I mean so easily!

"Who said we're dating? I don't date"I don't care I just had to say it

"Wow you're such a good person"

"Well thanks"

And we never talked again after that.

He removed from facebook but then friend requested me again after a while but I just ignored him,then never talked again,we'd sometimes maybe catch a glimpse of each other at the championships,but that's all.