Chapter Two

It was my first day of school in this bizarre world. And I was completely at a loss as to how to proceed.

I glanced down at the schedule Jafar had printed out for me. English, in Classroom 4A. I had absolutely no idea where that was. I decided to pick a path to wander aimlessly in, and hope that I would get some sense of direction from the classroom numbers I saw.

Besides, didn't Disney characters do that all the time? Set off wandering innocently through the woods or some mess, and then unwittingly stumble across adventure? It seemed like a likely prospect, but I couldn't be sure what kind of adventure I would encounter.

'Hopefully not one involving stampedes of crazed wildebeest,' I thought to myself, shuddering.

Why was I suddenly feeling unsure of myself? None of these characters I was supposed to be encountering were going to be anything like real people. They weren't going to be three dimensional, thinking, feeling individuals who even remotely resembled the complicated, imperfect creatures that were human beings in the real world, the one which I was from. How could they be? They were simply idealistic archetypes, stock characters in Walt Disney's world of make believe, manufactured almost solely to sell the most merchandise they could while simultaneously offending the least amount of people possible. All I had to do was find some that I recognized, and I'd be able to manipulate them with ease. I had a pretty working knowledge of most of their films, and that gave me a huge advantage. I was practically psychic, for all intents and purposes. I'd really have to be an epic failure to screw that up.

So I drifted like a teenage tumbleweed guided by a neutral wind, down the path leading from the main administrative office out to a cluster of academic buildings. The campus was truly beautiful, much nicer than any school I had attended in my world. It was as though Disneyland had built itself a high school, which made sense, really.

The grass was soft and perfectly manicured, with not a blade out of place with the rest. The trees were tall and strong, full of vibrant green leaves that grew in heavy clusters on long branches that stretched out far and high over the ground below, providing numerous options for shade if I so desired to seek some. The sky was a ridiculously luminescent blue, highlighted by an intensely burning sun overhead. And yet, despite how brightly the sun seemed to be shining, the temperature was a perfect middle ground between pleasantly cool and not so hot that walking from class to class would cause one to break a sweat.

I half expected a squirrel or various other adorable woodland creatures to come running out and start talking to me. But that didn't happen.

What did happen was I noticed a host of students were heading in all and every direction. Most of them seemed pretty confident about where they were going. To my dismay, they actually looked like pretty normal, average, everyday teenagers you would find in any nondescript high school across real America. I had been expecting dashing prince types and gorgeous princesses to be filling these halls, but clearly, that was not the case.

I noticed that a cluster of younger looking students seemed to be hesitating over by a stone drinking fountain. Assuming them to be freshmen, I moseyed on over towards their direction. Two of them in particular caught my eye.

"What is wrong with you, Alice?" asked a cute little redhead. She had big bright blue eyes and a petite body underneath her lavender colored tank top, which showed off her midriff. Despite her red hair (which was truly red and not orange), she didn't have freckles, which I wasn't really a fan of anyway, so no complaints there. This was no Lindsay Lohan.

"Whaaat…?" mumbled her friend in a vaguely annoyed voice, as though she were groggy and distracted. She had her long blonde hair pushed back in a black headband, and blue eyes that seemed to be a bit glazed over. She was dressed in an oversized sweater, leggings, and sneakers. Clearly, she was a girl who opted for comfort. I couldn't say for sure, but it almost seemed as though she were under of the influence of a particular recreational green herb.

"You're so spacey all the time," said the redhead. "Even today, on the first day of school, I would think you'd want to focus and be alert. But nooo…"

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired," said Alice. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"What, were you too excited?"

"Sure."

"Well I definitely was. I could barely sleep. But I did. Fall asleep, I mean."

After listening to her giddy rambling for another seemingly endless few seconds, I suddenly recognized who she and her friend were. They were Ariel, of Little Mermaid fame, and Alice in Wonderland, respectively. They were definitely cute, but also most definitely underage.

'This could get in the way of my goal,' I thought to myself. What were the moral constraints regarding age of consent in a world populated by fictional characters? Did the same rules still apply? Even if they didn't, my own mental barriers found the thought of seducing underage teens to be distasteful. At the very least, it made me feel squeamish. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go through with it, at least not right off the bat.

Still, they were the only characters that I recognized, and I didn't know where else to go or who to talk to, so I tepidly approached them.

"My sister has been so annoying lately," Ariel droned on. "She thinks that just because she's cheer captain, she's, like, queen bitch of the world, or something. I don't even think she deserves to be cheer captain, it should be Jasmine, she's way more glamorous…are you even listening to me?"

Alice blinked a few times and glanced at her. "What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm listening."

"What's wrong with you?" Ariel demanded.

I swooped in behind them. "Whoa, you are totally stoned right now."

Both equally caught off guard, they turned to look up at me. I was no giant, but they were both really short, only an inch or two above five feet tall. I was close to six feet myself, so I towered over the two freshmen.

"Who are you?" asked Ariel, her eyes big, as though she were surprised to see someone older paying her the time of day.

"Nobody special," I responded. "I'm new here, so I'm not exactly sure where I'm going, but I definitely recognize the face of someone who's been smoking marijuana, and your little friend here…"

I trailed off and pointed at Alice, who was just staring agape at me, like she couldn't fathom the idea of some stranger blowing the lid off her dirty little secret.

Ariel slowly turned to look at Alice, and the light bulb turned on.

"Alice!" she exclaimed, shocked. "You're not! Are you?"

"What?" Alice stammered. "N-no, of course not."

"Yes you are!" Ariel gasped. "Oh my God, yes you are! You're totally stoned! Who the heck gets high right before the first day of school?!"

"Shut up!" Alice whispered. She shot me a dirty look. "I don't know who you are, but you're totally lame, man."

I held my hands up. "Hey, I'm not judging. I was just intrigued, is all. You must be some kind of rebel."

"Not even."

"It's just because of her sister's crowd," Ariel muttered. "They're all burnouts. Clearly Alice here is not above the influence of the peer pressure of older kids."

"Oh, please, like you wouldn't do naked cartwheels for Eric if he ever gave you the time of day," snapped Alice.

"Go to hell!" squeaked Ariel, pushing her. Alice was too stoned to push her back. She just sort of stumbled over a few steps away.

"So, uh, my name's Shane," I said, outstretching my hand. They both glanced over at it before Ariel took it with an enthusiastic shake. She beamed up at me and I have to admit, I felt a little pleased with myself. She just seemed so instantly adoring.

'This might be easier than I thought.'

"So you're new?" Ariel asked. "You're not a freshman, are you?"

"He's obviously too old, unless, of course, he's retarded," said Alice. "Like you." Clearly, she hadn't forgiven me for blowing the whistle on her little weed dalliance.

"Shut up, Alice!"

"I'm a senior," I responded.

"Ooh, that must be tough, changing schools in your last year," said Ariel. "My older sister Aurora's a senior…but she's super stuck up. You wouldn't want to meet her. Alice's sister Cindy is nice, though. She's a senior too."

"If you meet her, don't tell her about the weed thing," mumbled Alice. "She doesn't approve."

"Deal," I said. "Hey, do you guys know where Building 4 is? I'm looking for my English class and I'm not really familiar with the campus."

"We don't really know our way around either," Ariel admitted. "We both missed orientation."

Exploring shipwrecked boats and getting attacked by sharks? I couldn't help but wonder. That wasn't likely in this world, so I figured she had most likely gone off exploring some abandoned mall or something. As for Alice, if I had to guess, she had probably gotten stoned while watching trippy YouTube videos and passed out. Both behaviors would be in character for these two.

"But we have someone who's gonna show us around," Ariel continued.

"Your sister?" I asked.

"Ew, no," said Ariel, making a face. "Like she would ever. It's this nice senior girl, Belle, who works at the library. That's how Alice met her. She's super nice, and like, really smart."

"I think she's the smartest girl in the whole school," said Alice.

"Who's the smartest girl in the whole school?" asked a familiar sounding voice.

I recognized Belle instantly. She was a brunette of medium height and I could easily see the intelligence in her warm brown eyes. They were big eyes and heavily lidded, with long lashes. Her makeup was modest, as was her attire. She was a natural beauty who didn't seem preoccupied by it. Underneath her light blue sweater and jeans, she had the slender frame of a girl who was naturally thin, but wasn't necessarily super active. Her pale skin gave the impression that she spent most of her time inside. Reading, I presumed, though I wondered what kind of books they had here.

I was sure they had the classics, but did they have modern authors? Did Belle stay up reading Stephen King or Dean Koontz to herself at night? Was she a Palahniuk chick? That'd be cool. She seemed like the type, but maybe she was too pure. Did they even have Palahniuk here? I doubted she read big-sellers like James Patterson (she was definitely too much of a hipster to like something so mainstream) but I would bet she'd be into JK Rowling. Did this Disney Universe have Harry Potter in it? That'd be pretty funny.

A terrible thought entered my mind, and I quickly murdered it with a shovel and buried it in a shallow unmarked grave (figuratively speaking, of course.) Did…did…Twilight exist here? I couldn't bear to consider the possibility. But there was totally the terrible chance Belle would be into it…she liked romances and the supernatural, but she also liked thrilling swordfights, and the Twilight series was devoid of any intriguing action whatsoever. (If you are a tween or teen girl reading this, do not bother to argue with me; you are too naïve and misguided to know any better, but someday you'll see the light. And it will sparkle gloriously.)

'I bet you're into Salinger,' I mused. 'I'm into Salinger, so that works out. Yeah, I bet you really dig Salinger.'

"Hi, Belle," Ariel piped up, shaking me from my thoughts. "This is Shane."

I smiled at her and she looked at me for a moment before returning my smile with her own little demure version. In those couple seconds, I could tell she had sized me up and was wondering what a guy my age was doing talking to two little freshmen.

Uh-oh. Her creeper radar was going off. I knew I'd have to lay on the charm, but she didn't seem half as naïve as Ariel or oblivious as Alice. This might be trouble.

"He's new here," Ariel added nervously after a couple seconds of silence from Belle's part.

"Really," said Belle, crossing her arms. "Changing schools as a senior? That's interesting. Did you get in trouble at your old one?"

"Yeah," I said without thinking. "I impregnated too many underclassmen, so they kicked me out."

Instant disaster.

Alice brought up a hand to her face, as though she were ashamed of my stupidity, and I immediately regretted the dumb joke. Risqué, sarcastic humor probably wasn't in very high demand or usage in this pure little Disney world, and a respectable girl like Belle definitely wouldn't be impressed by it. I would have to backtrack.

"Wow," said Belle, staring at me as though I were a foul-smelling bug.

While I was right about her reaction, Ariel, on the other hand, seemed to eat my stupid joke right up. Her eyes widened and then she burst out laughing. She slapped my shoulder lightly and said, "That's hilarious! Oh my God, you're like, really funny!"

I smiled a little uneasily and said to Belle, "That was just a joke."

Her expression was placid. "Funny."

"I just moved out here with my family," I continued, figuring that was as good and believable an explanation as any. "So I don't really know anyone or anything about the school yet. How is it, as far as high schools go?"

"Well there's not much special about it," Belle responded. "There's not a whole lot of individuality or creative thinking here, so if you don't like standing out for your mind or character, this is the place for you. Do you play sports?"

I hesitated before answering, "I played football back in high school-er, my last high school."

Belle's nose wrinkled slightly. "A football player. I might have guessed."

"Do you…not like sports?"

"Not particularly. It's not that I find anything wrong with sports inherently, it's just that a lot of the so-called jocks at our school are a bunch of shallow, insufferable morons."

I examined her face again. She was sort of a hard duck to figure out. Definitely not the easiest Disney girl to manipulate; in fact, if I thought about it, she was bound to be one of the most difficult. Perhaps it would be better to focus my attentions elsewhere. Then again, she was pretty foxy. Decisions, decisions.

"You have quite the vocabulary," I said finally.

"Mm, yeah, imagine that," said Belle, "a girl who's actually cracked open a book."

"You're so bitter, Belle," said Ariel. "He didn't mean anything by it."

"I know," she said, "I'm just always suspicious of guys who are entertained by chasing a ball up and down a field, and then smashing into each other over it."

Her jaded views on sports and the mainstream populace at school all but confirmed to me that I was right about her liking Salinger. I was half expecting her to start ranting about how everybody was a bunch of big, stupid phonies.

"Maybe you'd be more into volleyball," I said. "All people smash is the ball, not each other."

She smirked (which I counted as a VICTORY) and said, "Not so much. Anyway, follow me and I'll show you guys where your classrooms are."

{Time to go to class! Who do you think Shane will run into next? Once again, all reviews are appreciated, including flames (flame away if you must, but try to be memorable) and also any feedback/suggestions/requests (although the next few chapters have already been written haha.) Thanks for reading!}