Hey.

Hey yourself.

OK, out with it, Angie. What did you think?

Not your suavest moment, I have to say.

The airplane encounter? I agree. But it all worked out.

There is that. But I keep reliving the image of your nose dripping on everyone in row 12. And that limp. Like an old Jerry Lewis film with him yelling "Young lady, pretty lady." Remember how he walks on his ankles chasing women?

Go easy. I admit it wasn't my best look.

You were actually preparing to seduce her over a meal before your plans got thrown in the air, weren't you?

OK, you got me. Yes, I decided that the sophomoric has its uses.

Plus adjoining rooms and three well-chosen dresses. When a lady accepts items of attire from a gentleman, things have gone way beyond friends. Was she brought up by wolves? She didn't understand that when she slipped into that dress that she crossed a line? She agreed to be courted?

That's kind of nineteenth century, isn't it?

Don't knock it. Jane Austen has become one of my closest friends.

I suppose Lisbon must have known a declaration was coming on some level.

Like if she were in a coma, that would be a level where she'd have an excuse not to know. And then the thing with the robe. I know she was mad at being manipulated. But she loves you. And she could see that the room and the dresses and the dinner were heading someplace she might find very interesting.

But I did mess with her mind and make her postpone D.C. She reacted to that.

Pfff. You saved her from a fate worse than death and she knew it. I don't see why she didn't just tell you she loved you years ago.

Is that what you would have done?

Sure. When you started at the FBI, she could have told you she was interested in you as a man and that whenever you were ready, she'd be around unless someone she wanted more came along.

I would have been shocked and scared.

For about fifteen minutes.

Then I probably would have jumped her.

Exactly. Instead she has a month-long tantrum, acts nasty and childish to her best friend and rubs her cloying boyfriend in his face.

But Pike is a nice-

Pike looked good on paper. But he couldn't compare to you, my perfect blond god. She was kidding herself from the start.

I hoped she would come to that realization.

You cut it close time-wise.

Yeah, well the robe thing messed everything up.

You were pretty lame standing outside that hotel room getting hammered by her.

Hey, I thought I was the perfect blond god and nothing compared to me.

At that moment you were incomparably dumb. You should have told her then.

She was mad.

She cut off her nose to spite her face. She got right on the phone and accepted Pike's proposal.

Really? She hasn't mentioned that.

If I were Teresa, I sure wouldn't. That was bush league. Embarrassing. It might make you take back what you said.

Not happening.

Of course then the whole evening devolved into a romantic comedy by the numbers. Teresa runs off and hijinks ensue. You get drunk, you drive a car with a siren to the airport, then jump the fence, make your big confession to a planeload of people and get dragged off by the air marshalls. The only thing you didn't do last night was toss Jennifer Aniston into the trunk of a car.

Ouch.

And what's the deal with Abbott? When did he turn into a woman? And how come Cho is suddenly dumber than Rigsby?

Beats the shit out of me.

The only thing that kept it from being a romantic comedy was that it wasn't at all funny.

That it wasn't.

But I liked that she came back to the jail. I liked her attitude. It made me remember why you liked her in the first place.

So you forgive her?

Fuck no.