Advanced warning of sensitive subjects!
July 2014
Kates words had haunted Smithy since he had left the station just after she had, intent on making things perfect for when Stevie came home. He had cleaned the house from top to bottom, all except her bedroom, which had remained untouched since he and Callum had found her. Hearing the knock on the door, he let out a huge sigh of relief and headed down the stairs, it was gone 11 and he wasn't sure who would be here at this time of night but he was grateful for the distraction. He hadn't slept in over 36 hours and although he was used to the sleepless nights that came with being a copper, he was completely drained by the situation he was in.
Opening the door, he let out a huge sigh and shook his head "Not now Jo, I have a lot to do before Stevie comes home". Jo pushed her way inside and spoke "And Stevie coming home is why it has to be now". She had sat in the living room and he had made them both a coffee before sitting the other end of the sofa. "Jo, I know you are uncomfortable with what happened today", she interrupted "Uncomfortable Smithy, are you joking? I was involved in you and Stone doing whatever it is that you did to get Kate transferred, did you know she had to take a demotion?" he shook his head and Jo continued "DC she has been pushed back from DI to DC Smithy, do you really think she deserved that?". Smithy took a deep breath "Of course not. You don't think I know Jo, what you said earlier, this is all on me, I fucked Kate up and I fucked Stevie up and I will never forgive myself for that". Jo sighed "I had so much respect for you, I always knew Stone was an arsehole but you Smithy". He interrupted "What do you want from me Jo?". She shook her head "I don't want anything from you, I'm here to tell you I am putting in for a transfer, I can't work for someone I don't respect". He sighed "Please don't do that Jo, you can't leave". She smiled "I have to Smithy". She rose to her feet and he grabbed her arm "I get it, I'm to blame for all of this, I will hand my notice in, okay, just let me get Stevie home and settled please, I can't have anything tip her over the edge again". Jo shook her head "My mind is made up". He rose to his feet "Please don't Jo" she saw the tears escape his eyes and he wiped his eyes "I only want to protect Stevie, to love Stevie but I have failed her, come with me" he spoke as he walked past her quickly and headed to the door, she followed close behind him. He rushed up the stairs and pushed the bedroom door open. "Look" he shouted as she followed him inside "I pushed her to this" he gestured to the blood stained bed and sunk down the wall "And it's killing me Jo. I made her do this and it should be me, I'm the one that doesn't deserve to carry on, not her" tears rolled down his face and he buried his head into his knees. Jo leant down next to him "Smithy, have you spoken to Stevie about this?". He shook his head and glanced into Jo's eyes "I lost Kerry and Louise because I couldn't protect them and now when I try to protect Stevie, I pushed her into wanting to die, she wanted to die because of me". Jo sighed "Oh Smithy" before pulling him into a hug as he sobbed.
They had stayed sat on the floor for what felt like an eternity. Smithy wiped his eyes on his sleeve and attempted to recompose himself. He looked up at the bed and sighed, "You should go, I need to try and clean this up before tomorrow". Jo smiled slightly "You aren't going to get that clean Smithy". He nodded "I have to, Stevie is coming home tomorrow and I don't want her walking into this". Jo sighed "Why don't I sort the bed out and you get a few hours sleep". He smiled "I can't ask you to do that" she interrupted "You didn't ask Smithy and you will be in no fit state to look after Stevie if you don't get any sleep". He nodded, he knew he needed to admit defeat "Thanks Jo". They rose to their feet and as he headed to the door, Jo took hold of his hand "I don't think either of us should make any rash decisions about work at the moment, let's get you and Stevie back to yourselves". He nodded "Thanks Jo". She smiled "Stevie, she did what she did, because she loves you, not because of you". He sighed "You don't believe that anymore than I do".
Waking the next morning, Smithy could hear the commotion from Steve's room, he wiped his eyes and headed out into the hall and crossed to Stevie room, glancing inside he glanced to where Nate and Ben built a bed. "What's going on?" he asked, causing both men to jump. "Sorry Gov, Jo let us in" Nate spoke. He nodded "Okay, but what are you doing?". Ben smiled "We moved Stevie bed out, we are just getting this one sorted, we will be out of your hair before you get home with Stevie". Smithy nodded "Okay, where is Jo?" he asked. "Work" Ben replied. "Okay, thanks for this, I'm going to grab a shower and then I'll make a coffee for us all".
Smithy knocked gently on the hospital room door before opening it and smiling to Stevie sat in the chair, her packed bag on the bed. "Hey you" she smiled. "Morning beautiful" he beamed as he moved to her. She stood up and he pulled her into a hug, holding her tight, he kissed her head and spoke "I love you so much Stevie, I have missed you". Stevie grinned "I have only been gone one night". He sighed "It felt like a lifetime" he kissed her lips gently and spoke "Are you ready?" he asked. She nodded "I guess so" her face suddenly appeared sad and he lifted her eyes to his "You okay?" he asked. She sighed "It's back to reality, the mess we have made and now we have a baby to think about". He ran has hand gently over her cheek as her eyes fell from him "It's sorted" he spoke. Her eyes shot back to his "What do you mean?". He smiled "Me and Stone, we got the folder and let Jack know how Kate had treated you and she is gone". Stevie shook her head "I don't understand". Smithy pecked her lips "Just trust me, she is out of our lives and we can move on". She sighed "I need to know exactly what happened Smithy". He smiled "Come on Stevie, can't we just put it behind us". She shook her head "No, I need to know Smithy, what have you done?".
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