"Daddy. . . ."
At Andrew's hesitant voice, Shane looked up from the story he had been reading to the boy. His head poking over the covers of his bed, Andrew was looking up with his big, dark eyes.
Setting the book down, Shane forced a small smile to his face. He had thought that reading a bedtime story might maintain a semblance of normalcy, but it was pretty clear that the story was the last thing on Andrew's mind.
"You have something you want to ask?"
Andrew frowned a little, then shook his head. "Not a question."
"So something you want to say?" Shane asked.
This time Andrew nodded. Shane waited patiently for Andrew to work out what to say.
"If any of the kids at school say you're a traitor, I'm gonna to tell them they're lying," Andrew said, his tone shifting from soft to defiant. "I'm gonna tell them you're a hero and you did the right thing to save Uncle Steve."
Shane started to answer, but his words caught in the back of his throat.
"And don't worry 'bout Mommy, Evie, and Jeannie." Andrew now gave Shane a very solemn look. "I'll protect them."
Fighting back the tears that stung at his eyes, Shane pulled Andrew into a tight embrace. He held the boy close, unable to speak for what felt like a long time before he finally said, "Now you listen to me, young man. . . . Your mother and Eve are adults who can look after themselves, and your uncles will be around to help. So your job while I'm gone is to mind your mother, go to school, and take your riding lessons. You hear me?"
He pulled back and looked down at Andrew, who nodded slowly and then said, "I'm going to miss you, Daddy."
"I know, Sport. . . . I'm. . . ." Shane pulled Andrew close again and said, "I'm going to miss you so much, Andrew."
From behind him, he heard Kim's voice. She sounded reluctant to interrupt as she called his name. "Shane?"
Letting go of Andrew, Shane looked over his shoulder at the door.
Kim looked back at him apologetically. "Mickey Horton is on the phone. He says he needs to speak with you right away."
Shane knew he had to take the call, but he hesitated. He did not want to leave Andrew.
"You take the call," Kim said, giving Shane a reassuring smile. She approached the bed and motioned to the book that Shane had set down. "I'll bet there is still some of this story to read tonight."
Changing places with Kim, Shane stood up and walked to the door. Kim was already finding the spot in the story where Shane had left off before he had reached the corridor. Deciding it would be best to take the call downstairs, he went down to the library and picked up the phone.
"Mickey?"
Mickey Horton sounded almost startled. "Shane, oh, I'm sorry. I was starting to wonder if Kim forgot I was on the phone."
"No," Shane said. "I was saying goodnight" - goodbye - "to Andrew just now and had to come downstairs."
"It's okay. Look, I just want to let you know there's been a slight change of plans for tomorrow. We need to be at the Salem P.D. headquarters at 9:45."
Shane thought that sounded odd. Why would they meet with the Assistant U.S. Attorney at the police station? Then it dawned on him. The ISA press conference was at 10 a.m. Tarrington probably wanted to keep an eye on Shane and make sure the plea deal went as planned. In fact, Tarrington probably would take advantage of the press conference to announce the deal.
"Shane, do you have that? Tomorrow at 9:45?"
The question interrupted Shane's thoughts and he replied, "Yes, Mickey. 9:45 a.m. at the police station." Hanging up, he looked at the clock on the table and saw that it was nearly 9 p.m.
Only 12 hours left.
Mickey had already explained that once Shane signed the paperwork with the AUSA, they would go to the Federal Courthouse where the plea would be entered formally, sentence would be pronounced, and then Shane would be remanded to the custody of the federal marshals. By this time the next night, Shane would be in a cell, possibly the one where he would stay for the next two years.
He reminded himself that he had been a prisoner before. Jericho had locked him up for a few months. It had not been close to two years, but back then he had no idea if he would manage to escape. He had spent that time wondering if he would ever see Kim or his children again.
This time, I know I will.
That would give him the strength to get through this. As he finished that thought, he realized he was not alone in the library. Turning to the door, he saw that Kim had followed him downstairs.
"Andrew?"
"Asleep," she said, walking toward him. "I think he was already pretty wrung out emotionally. He fell asleep almost as soon as I started reading."
Shane nodded. "It's hard for him. He told me not to worry, because he'll protect you and his sisters."
Kim smiled softly, but there was a little edge to her voice. "He takes after his dad that way. . . always wanting to protect everybody else."
"Kim-"
"I know." She sighed. She was now directly in front of him and reached out to take his hand. In a soft voice, she said, "It's hard for me too. And I think I know how you feel. I keep thinking about that night before I was sentenced for Emma's murder. I know it's not exactly the same. I mean, I didn't know exactly how long I'd been gone and it also wasn't like I had to say goodbye to the children. . . ."
Shane understood what she meant. When Kim had been convicted of killing Emma, Andrew was still missing.
"Still, I remember that fear of being locked up, away from everyone I knew and loved." Kim looked up at him and then lifted a hand to his cheek. "And I also remember what you gave me that night . . . how you showed me your love, and how it gave me so much strength, Shane."
Shane closed his eyes as she stroked his cheek. He remembered that night and how they had come together, reuniting finally after they had been driven apart by the pain and frustration of being unable to fight through the walls they had both kept putting up.
But we don't have those walls now, he told himself.
"You don't have to show me anything, Kim." He opened his eyes. "And I should make sure I've taken care of things for while I'm gone. There's a lot to figure out."
Kim shook her head. "No, there's not. You don't need to worry about me or the children," she said. "We'll manage just fine, not to mention I've got two brothers and Steve and Neil and a large part of Salem who'll do just about anything to make sure your family is okay."
"But there are the finances," he said. "Who's going to pay the mortgage? And the staff need paying. How will you access the bank accounts? You don't even know the combination of the safe, do you?" He started to pull her toward the wall where the safe was hidden. "Here, let me show you."
Kim jerked her hand free. "Stop it, Shane." Her eyes bore into him. "In the morning, before we go to the police station, we can have Mickey prepare a power of attorney. If there are other things we need, we'll deal with them. I survived with Andrew and Eve when you were gone before. I can take care of things."
Shane knew Kim was capable of caring for the children without him. That wasn't the point. "Kim," he started to protest, wanting to explain, but she cut him off.
"I know." She stepped toward him again and took his hand once more. "I love that you want to protect us and I'm sure you think, if you sit here all night, you'll plan for every possible thing that might happen in the next two years." She tilted her head and gave him a sad little smile. "But it'll be okay if you don't. I'll be just fine. Your children will be just fine."
Kim curled her hand inside his. Holding it to her breast, she turned in a semi-circle so that her back was to Shane and his arm was wrapped around her. She rested her head against Shane's chest.
In an almost-whisper, she said, "You need this night, Shane. . . ."
Her perfume - a heady mix of rose and spices that she had purchased during their honeymoon in Paris - seemed to make the room spin.
"We need this night," she whispered.
She pressed closer to him. Swaying slowly against him, she raised her free hand and grasped the top of his head. Kim looked up and their eyes met momentarily as she pulled his head down to hers, but Shane closed his eyes just before their lips met in a long, slow kiss that only stoked the fire growing inside him. They broke apart and she turned to face him, though her hand still clasped his. Both of them were almost breathless.
Kim opened her mouth to speak, to try to convince him some more, but he stopped her by brushing his index finger across her lips. They didn't need any more words, he thought, as he lowered her to the soft rug in front of the fire. They only needed each other and a night that Shane wished would last forever.