The low field that lay between Garden and the Mountains had long been used as a small graveyard, commemorating fallen SeeDs. In the half a day that had followed the missile strike, it had already more than doubled in size.

Quistis found Nida sitting at the foot of one of the newly filled graves, cast in the reddish light of an outdoor lamp. The grave didn't have a proper headstone yet; a SeeD uniform had been hung on a simple wooden trellis that had been set into the ground, with an ID card pinned at the top.

He turned his head just enough to tell Quistis he knew she was there, but didn't actually look around. She stepped up beside him, kneeling to peer at the face on the ID.

"Lauren," she said, closing her eyes. She hadn't been particularly close with the other SeeD, but didn't have any bad memories of her. She'd been especially good with the junior classmen, and Quistis had remembered talk that she'd be an Instructor someday. "I'm sorry."

"She danced with me," Nida said. "At the graduation ball. I mean, she was just being nice, but..."

Quistis tried a weak smile. "I didn't realize you knew each other," she said. It was a silly thing to say, as she hadn't known Lauren that well and hadn't known Nida at all until this week; but it was the only thing she could think of.

"I helped her in mechanics," he replied, eyes still on the grave. "If I'd taken better notes myself, maybe she'd..."

"Don't." Quistis laid a hand on his arm. "You did everything you could."

His head fell, eyes now fixing on the fresh dirt in front of him. It was a long moment before he answered. "...Isolate the root link, and ghost the path to bypass the system's check on the command origin point. Their control software was running on a basic GOS frame; we did a whole chapter on them in class last year." He shook his head. "I could've shut down the missiles from anywhere on the base. I just forgot. I can post a 97 on the written test, but not when the answers really matter."

Quistis let out a breath, settling onto the ground beside him. "Nida, I know how it feels," she said. "I was there too. I was the ranking SeeD member. If anyone should have stopped this, it was me. Garden was counting on my leadership, and...I failed."

She wasn't even sure if he heard her.

"Why do you suppose so many missiles missed the Garden?" she tried. "When you realized you couldn't change the missiles' target, you set the error ratio to maximum, right?" He glanced over at her, just for a second. "If you hadn't done that, Garden would have been destroyed completely. That means that everyone here, the hundreds of people who survived, all owe you their lives." He almost seemed to recoil at that; Quistis leaned after him, catching his eyes for once. "You probably did more for the people here than anyone else managed to do. And considering you'd only just graduated...you've been doing an incredible job. Zell, Selphie...all of you. Even Seifer, really."

Nida shifted, looking up at what was left of Garden's main building. "...I'd hate to see what a bad job looks like."

Quistis giggled. She tried to stifle it halfway through, bending over and averting her eyes from the look Nida gave her. "Oh, god. I'm sorry, but..." The moment faded into another kind of gloom, as she looked up at the field of makeshift graves.

"...It is easy, isn't it?" she asked. "Feeling sorry for yourself, going through the what-ifs in your mind, over and over..." Shaking her head, she settled backward and cast her eyes up at the moon. "I'd be a hypocrite if I told you just to get past this and move on; I know you can't. I certainly won't. But the Sorceress, and Squall, and all the others behind this..." She trailed off, glancing over at Nida, then down at Lauren's grave. The girl's face, half-visible in the moonlight, beamed out at them with an energy that came even through the darkness. "They're not finished. And whatever we think of how we've performed so far...we have to make sure they don't give us something new to regret."

If Nida reacted to that, she couldn't tell. Looking up at the mangled remains of Garden's bell tower – the very tips of the ring were catching the scattered moonlight, a skewed shadow of its former self – Quistis stood, laying a hand on Nida's shoulder before she left him with Lauren's grave.

"What'd you do that for?"

"You ruined everything! Why d'you always have to be so stupid?"

The voices rang through his head – children, without names or faces, accompanied only by the whistle of a train. Nida hadn't had that dream in a while, and he hadn't missed it. And it felt like even while he was dreaming it, he couldn't really remember what it was about.

He'd slept in his room. The dorms had been mostly undamaged in the attack, so there hadn't been much reason not to. The power was out, of course, but he slept with the lights off anyway.

And now, daylight was streaming through his window. It was a typical summer day – beautiful, with clear skies and a cheery brightness that didn't fit his mood at all. It also gave him his first look at the mess of blast craters, dirt and debris that had consumed the plains.

Someone was knocking at his door. "Yo, you in there?" Zell's voice called.

"...What?" Nida asked.

"Cid wants to see us, in his office. Guess he wants to talk about what's going on."

Nida sighed. "Okay. I'll be there." He stared at the ruined landscape for another moment before glancing at the wall clock – which, of course, was broken. Then he started for the shower, before realizing the water was probably out too. Rather than check, he simply pulled on the clothes he'd been wearing yesterday and headed out.

Cid's office was basically intact, though a few sharp cracks now stretched up his wide picture window, looking a bit like fingers grasping at the room. Cid's desk was right in front of them, and the Headmaster sat there staring down at it. Nida wasn't sure at first that he'd even noticed their arrival.

"Thank you all for coming," he said, running his hands across his face. It didn't accomplish much. "I'm sure you have some questions."

"Are you sure you're all right, Headmaster?" Quistis asked.

He smiled. "You all see me in such an embarrassing state. I had a bit of a rough night, as you can imagine. But in the grand scale of things..." Standing, he looked over the group. "But if I'm right, our troubles have only just begun."

"The Sorceress will try to finish what she started," supplied Quistis.

Cid nodded. "I fear we may never get things back to the way they were."

Nida frowned. Cid's pronouncements were vague enough that he could only guess at any useful meaning; and it seemed like no one in the room was really focused on them anyway. Quistis looked more concerned about the Headmaster himself, while Zell was staring out the window at the destruction and Seifer was brooding by the door.

"Um..." he said, raising a hand. "What's this all about, exactly?"

Cid looked up like he was seeing Nida for the first time. A second later, Nida realized that the others had, too. "...Yes, of course," the Headmaster said. "You all deserve some answers. I only wish there were an easy way to explain."

"Why don't you start with the Sorceress?" Seifer broke in.

Now, everyone stared at him for a second. "Master NORG said," Quistis added, "that you were married." Her tone was quite a bit softer than Seifer's.

Cid smiled. "That's quite right," he said, with a sad nod. "She had been a sorceress since childhood. I married her, knowing that."

Nida was trying hard to make sense of that, but it just wasn't happening. Why would Cid's wife want to blow up Garden?

"We worked together, the two of us," the Headmaster continued. "We were very happy. But...one day, Edea began talking about building the Garden and training SeeD. I became obsessed with that plan. But I was very concerned with SeeD's goal."

"SeeD's goal?" Zell asked. "What are you talking about? What goal?"

Cid sighed, turning away from them to stare out the window. On a day like this, they could see all the way to the cliffs of Dollet, rising just above the ocean; and the beam of light from the communications tower that speared up into the sky.

"SeeD will defeat the sorceress," he said. "The Garden will train SeeD members. The many missions around the world are only training for the final battle against the sorceress. But now that the sorceress has become a major threat, our true mission has begun." He turned back around, removing his glasses and turning them over in his hands. "That's what always worried me, that one day SeeD might fight Edea. She laughed and told me that would never happen. However..."

He didn't finish the sentence. Silence descended over the room, save for a gust of wind that sounded through the window.

"What about Master NORG?" Quistis asked. "Where's he fit in to all this?"

With a wan smile, Cid sank back into his chair. "He is from the Shumi tribe. A black sheep of the tribe, one might say. We met while I was running around trying to raise funds to build the Garden. He became interested in building the Garden, and we hit it off. Thanks to his funding, it was completed." The smile was gone now, and he was starting to slump in his seat. "However, we needed an enormous amount of funds to run the Garden. So, we began dispatching SeeDs around the world as a means of supporting the Garden. NORG's idea was right on the money – an enormous amount of capital began flowing into the Garden. And...the Garden began to change. Lost sight of our high ideals, the truth was covered up..." With a shake of his head, he replaced his glasses and sat back up. "That's probably enough. In the end, it was my fault, for giving up control."

"...I still don't get it," said Zell. "If Garden was Sorceress Edea's idea, why'd she want to destroy it all of a sudden? And why'd she create something that's supposed to fight her?"

"I never understood that, either," said Cid. "She always said it was something we had to do, that our future depended on it. I didn't really understand it then, and I don't understand what she's doing now. But I think...somehow, she knew this day would come."

The room was silent for a moment, as Cid at nothing and the others stared at him. Then, Seifer propelled himself off the wall with a frustrated snort. "Hell with this," he said, storming out through the oaken doors that led to the elevator. No one made a move to stop him.

It was Nida who broke the silence next, surprising even himself. "I have a question."

Cid paused, halfway through wiping his glasses, to look at him expectantly. "Yes?"

For a second, Nida lost track of what he'd meant to ask, as he noticed everyone's eyes on him again and remembered the last time Cid had paid attention to him in this office. "Even if you don't stand out."

"I heard you mention something," he said, finally. "You wanted a gunblade specialist in SeeD. That's why you were hoping either Seifer or Squall would graduate." He hesitated; the others kept looking at him. "…Why?"

Cid smiled. "It seems foolish now." He placed the glasses back on his nose. "Until about 40 years ago, during the Holy Dollet Empire, a gunblade was the weapon of the Sorceress' knight."

Zell frowned. "But SeeD's mission is to fight the Sorceress. Isn't the knight supposed to protect her?"

Cid made a sad smile. "Not exactly." He leaned back in his chair, peering absently at some spot above the door. "In any case, it's just an old man's fantasy. I knew I could never protect Edea myself, so I poured all my energy into Garden. I thought this could be our legacy, a force doing good in the world. But I'm afraid life rarely turns out the way you expect."

Things were quiet again. "So what do we do now?" Quistis asked. "Garden's in no condition to mount a campaign. And if the Galbadians are planning another attack..."

"For now, we have to focus on the students," said Cid. "Xu is talking to families in Balamb about taking in the junior classmen. As for the older ones, those with combat training, I fear they might not be safe elsewhere. With the Sorceress gaining power, I'm not sure we have any choice but to face her again."

Nida didn't know what he'd expected. Of course the Sorceress wasn't finished with them; there was nothing surprising about the notion. But when the Headmaster said it, they could see how much it weighed on him. And from what he could tell from the others, they all felt it too.

Most of the cafeteria was still intact, but the section that collapsed had happened to include the kitchen; so the food consisted mainly of perishables from what was left of the stores, which the cooks were trying to unload before they went bad.

Nida had a pineapple and some bread, and sat at his normal table. There were a few chunks of plaster scattered over it, along with the rest of the area; a few nasty cracks ran through the ceiling, but apparently it wasn't in immediate danger of collapse. Nobody had cleaned the place up yet, though.

He usually ate pretty fast; but today was different. He was hungry enough, but still couldn't really find the motivation. So he was still poking his fork at the pineapple fifteen minutes later, when he looked up to find Rinoa standing over him.

"Um..." she started, fidgeting and breaking eye contact for a second. She had a tray containing an apple, a salad bowl and some gelatin. "Mind if I join you?"

Nida blinked. "...Sure."

Rinoa nodded, looking no more comfortable, and sat down. "Seifer's out training," she said, Nida guessed as a kind of explanation. "Everyone's found something to do. I've been trying to help out where I can, but...I'm starting to feel like I'm just in the way."

"Doctor Kadowaki said you were a lot of help last night," Nida offered. Rinoa smiled for a second, but went on looking preoccupied.

After a few moments of silence, Nida decided he wasn't going to finish with his meal, picking it up and heading for the disposal. The trays were starting to pile up.

"—Can I...ask you something?" Rinoa said, lurching after him and abandoning her own barely eaten meal.

The question stopped him for a second, as he tried to figure out what she could want to know from him. "...Okay," he said, the hesitance creeping into his voice.

"They're saying Galbadia attacked Garden because the Sorceress wants to get rid of any rivals. But some people think it was retaliation. Because of all the trouble SeeD caused for Galbadia." She shifted on her feet, and cast her eyes down at them. "I can't help but think this is kind of my fault, because I hired your team to come to Timber."

Nida's eyebrow twitched. Everyone really could find a way to blame themselves, if they tried hard enough. "...They were probably thinking more about how we tried to kill the Sorceress," he said. "Or when we helped Dollet fight their invasion."

"Still," Rinoa said. "I used to think...if I could get SeeD to help, we could fight off the Galbadians and restore Timber's freedom. But now, it's like people are fighting each other everywhere I go. And I keep thinking about those students, when I first got here, who kept yelling about the Headmaster and the Garden Master right up until the missiles started exploding...and it all just seems so pointless."

Nida kept quiet, not sure quite where this was going. SeeDs were taught all kinds of ways to resolve conflicts without fighting; but by the end of their training, almost all of it went into magic, GFs and techniques. The official message was that fighting was sometimes the only option that worked, though he'd got the impression that people might tend to drop the 'sometimes.' Or to assume that fighting always did work.

"You're going to go after the Sorceress again, right?" Rinoa asked. "Everyone thinks there's gonna be another attack on Garden. I just wonder if...maybe someone really smart can come up with a way, so there wouldn't be any more bloodshed. Because...there's already been so much, you know?"

"I don't think Galbadia's interested in avoiding a fight," Nida said. Then he turned away, ready for the conversation to be over.

"Are you?" Rinoa asked, following him. "When I met Seifer, last summer..." She stalled out, without an end to the sentence. Her eyes were wandering over the floor in front of her feet. "And when I look at him now, it's like he's another person. Especially when the battles start. I thought I was prepared, but...with you guys, it's like everyone's tempo just picks up, and you know exactly what to do. And I try to catch up, but I just can't tell...how far is everyone going? Where will it end? And...will everyone welcome me when I get there?"

Nida blinked at her for a second. "Uh..." He could tell it was really bothering her, but he wasn't sure he had a handle on what she was talking about. "...It's not like we enjoy the fighting," he said. "But they train us to be good at it. And isn't that what you hired us for?"

Looking surprised, Rinoa made eye contact with him for the first time in quite a while. Then she glanced down at her feet. "...Maybe he was right," she whispered. "I really didn't know what I was doing."

No kidding, would have been Nida's response two days earlier. He wouldn't have said it out loud, but he hadn't really gone out of his way to disguise his low regard for the Forest Owls either. But then had come the way they'd bumbled through the assassination attempt, and the fiasco at the missile base, and now he had to wonder just what he had the right to to judge them on. After all, the Forest Owls hadn't had years of training to rely on.

"None of us were ready for this," he said. "Not really.