Tried so hard to make his a Halloween treat. But I failed :( Happy Halloween to those who celebrates it and thanks for the reviews.

I think I got carried away with the angst thing. Not much fluff today.

Also, I would like to thank my beta LightPhantom742 for editing this chapter. Such a daunting task!

Chapter 4: Guilt and Heartache

Hope kicked an empty can away as he continued walking down the streets of Palumpolum. The streets at night were as lively and bright as usual from the rows of advertisements and retail stores romping at each corner and hanging from the side of buildings. Even in the night, the city glowed like it was sunset. The air was becoming bitter cold, the changing season making its presence known throughout the city. As always, the cold weather did make haste on Palumpolum compared to the other cities of Cocoon. Hope shivered slightly from the numbing cold deluging up and down his spine, one vertebra at a time. However, the frosty thin air couldn't quell the burning sensation swelling in his chest. His body was tensed; boiling, dripping and oozing with emotions in each pace. The pressure of the night, maybe from the past three months, was finally crumbling down upon him.

To sum it up, Hope was furious at Snow. He was furious for believing that the blond had cared about him on some level. He truly wanted to believe that but it wasn't even close to the reality. However, his real passion and anger was directed at himself for thinking such optimistic and sanguine thoughts in the first place. A flare erupted in his chest making him growl to himself. He couldn't believe that he had fell for Snow's sweet words and charming personality. And out of anger that had moved him like a puppet, Hope had called the blond a fool. A self-righteous fool.

The silverette let out a grim, sharp chuckle devoid of mirth. Snow wasn't the idiot. He was the idiot for believing Snow found him interesting; sugar-coating his presence with charming words and that enchanting smile. For a brief moment, someone had made him feel special. It was a whole new feeling he had never experienced before and he liked it. For the brief moment it was. Yes, Hope was the biggest fool in that building and that made his chest throb greatly.

All Hope wanted was to forget this night but that daunting task didn't seem as easy as he had initially thought. Since the first night Snow came into The Rivera, his life had changed. Whether for better or worse, Hope couldn't tell. Nevertheless, seeing the blond's smiling face in his head he couldn't help but feel this weird, warm sensation settling in his chest. The sensation grew even more intense whenever the blond brute came through the tavern's door every other night. It made him electrified, causing his heart to beat rapidly and stealing his voice away.

Not a night went by the past few months without Snow Villiers entering the tavern, grinning happily and demanding his presence to consume Hope's time. Those moments had become endearing and fetching to him, and then Snow had crushed them. Hope wanted to run away and cry out his unexpected pain but instead he lost control of his emotions and they exploded. He had no intention of being mean, but the man had pushed his button. It's strange how things worked out differently in his head and failed miserably in reality. However, when he conjured up images of the anguished and hurt look on the blond's face, a small part of him wanted to resent his actions. He knew he said something awful from the shocked stares in the room but he couldn't stop his anger and vexation from overflowing. Hope always thought that he had more control of his emotions, but when it came to Snow, any control he seemed to have faded away. A silky inner voice assured him that his actions were justified and he had every reason to be angry. He tried not to listen to it, but it surely was tempting. He continued walking down the street with his shoulders hung low in agony. Even after everything that had happened he still couldn't get Snow off his mind. He stopped and glanced up at the sky. His light-emerald orbs losing themselves in the dark and velvet abyss above the city. There weren't any stars, simply a mass of darkness and scattered grey clouds. A cool breeze whisked his silver locks back as the cold caressed his skin and Hope wanted it to carry his feelings away. But it didn't. He let out a sigh and continued walking through the streets in his own little world of misery while trying to ignore the stricken sensation in his heart.

By the time Hope returned to The Riveria, his anger and feeling of resentment had already died in the cool night. He had spent the past hours wandering through the city, not like he was afraid or anything would've happened to him. Palumpolum was his city and he knew every niche of the city like he knew his room. When he returned back to the tavern it was almost closing time and most of the customers had already succumbed to resting in their beds. That also included a certain blond-haired man which he had come to loath. There wasn't a night that went by where Snow left before the other barflies in the room. The blond idiot would generally linger around the building after closing time with him and his mother, still finding an excuse to chat with him. However, it seemed that their previous engagement had led to another exception.

The tavern was empty of the usual locals and young recruits but there were still two figures standing near the bar; his parents. The sound of the door creaking open followed by the brief noise of city outside entered as he walked into the building, quickly acknowledging his parent's attention. Both adults just stopped in conversation and in task, turned and looked at him, not saying anything. Hope could feel his throat becoming dry as he clearly noticed the look of disappointment, not of anger, on each one of their faces. His parents were definitely going to have his head on a platter tonight. Hope felt his heart twist, looking at the floor, knowing that he was going to get the lecture of a lifetime tonight. He had done nothing more than walked into ongoing traffic.

"Hope!" He stiffened hearing his mother call out. Her voice was a little hard, but it was mostly carrying a tone of distress and worry. He looked up at his mother, seeing the soft, yet concerned features across her face.

"Take a seat son." Bartholomew suggested, pulling out a high chair from under the bar counter.

A frown appeared on Hope's face as he walked to the chair. His father didn't usually use that title unless the man was serious and from the expression on his parent's faces, it was without a doubt serious. He took a seat on the chair and waited as a thick silence fogged within the building. He squirmed in seat, not meeting the two pairs of eyes boring through his form.

"Hope." Bartholomew said calmly. "Your mother has told me what happen earlier this evening." He then noticed the stiff shoulders and the fingers, curling into a fist around the tea-green pants out of anxiousness. He let out a sigh, which in adult language meant that he wasn't happy right now; knowing that he was going to say will lead to more argument. "And your mother and I talked about it and we think that maybe it's better if you stop helping around the tavern for a while."

Hope's head snapped towards his father's gaze, looking shocked and pleading. "What? No!" Hope tried to protest.

"Hope!" Nora called out, her voice leaking with concern. She walked around the bar counter top to the teen and placed a reassuring hand on her son's shoulder. "I know how much you love helping me around the tavern-"

"Yes, I do. I really do-" Hope's voice blurted out eagerly and quickly.

"But what you did earlier was totally uncalled for." Nora's voice turned serious.

"It wasn't my fault. Snow was just being an annoying jerk." Hope said glancing away shyly, his lips forming into a pout.

"That's no excuse for you to yell at him like that." Nora stated and saw Hope bow his head. She scratched the back of her head unsurely with a longing sigh while looking at her husband who nodded at her reassuringly. She squeezed her hand on the teen's shoulder which in turn was asking for the teen to look at her. And Hope complied, looking far too young. "Listen Hope. There are things you shouldn't say to people and what you said to Snow was very hurtful and wrong... especially to a soldier going off to fight a war." She said sympathetically, hugging herself with her arms. Her voice, yet soft, was laced with anguish and pain.

Hope blinked when he saw the long and mourning expression on his parents. There was an unbalanced turmoil of grief and pain swimming in each one of their eyes. He could feel something disturbingly wrong from his parents' distant and pensive expressions and it was making a dreadful feeling spurn in his stomach. It nearly gave him a stomachache. He didn't understand this sudden and distrusted look on their faces. It was a familiar look they gave when something wasn't right. And something definitely wasn't right here.

Hope couldn't find the binding threads to protest anymore. He wasn't sorry now, but hurt. At the time, he hadn't really thought things through when he yelled out at Snow because everything about the man had edged him out of rational thought. Lashing out at Snow was really stupid on his part. Hope was more reactionary than anything else, so when the blond said those words while grinning like it was nothing, his emotions took control. He hadn't thought over the consequences of his actions, or the feelings that empowered them. Everything was pure raw emotion.

Nevertheless Hope wanted to continue working in the tavern. When his mother first proposed the idea to start this business, he had jumped in head first. He wanted to support his mother by helping around the place after school, and as a way to show that he could be responsible for his age. His parents were a bit skeptical at first, but he had proven them wrong and he didn't want to lose that one virtue. "I am sorry." Hope ultimately caved in.

"You don't have to apologize to me sweetie. You can apologize to Snow the next time you see him and it will have to be sincere." Nora stated seeing the disappointed pout on her son's face, but the teen nodded nevertheless.

Hope didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. There was a tension of fear and anxiety in the building for the first time, though well hidden behind the soldiers' smiles and light chatters. The noise, which didn't go unnoticed by Hope, was more subtle compared to previous nights and it hung heavy in his stomach, knotting and unknotting. It seemed the word was out and the soldiers will be packing their bags and making their beds on Pulse by the end of the week. Hope didn't want to think about it but by the end of next week the building would be almost devoid of the new recruits. Hope had seen it happen before but for some reason he felt something twist inside of him as he glanced around the solemn tavern though he couldn't put his finger on it. He didn't know how or when, but somewhere during the tiresome afternoons and long nights helping his mother around The Rivera, he had grown accustomed to this new pace of loud noise and infuriating soldiers which was bringing forth a wave of emptiness.

Not letting the atmosphere dampen his mood any further, Hope went to clean up an empty table on the other side of the counter which two customers just vacated. He stopped in task and glanced at the table. A frown appeared on his face. It was a particular, smiling blond-haired man and his strange fiery-haired friend's usual seat. However, the chairs around the table were unoccupied. There wasn't a night for the past three months when the chairs around that table were vacant. The emptiness in the tavern was surely making its presence known now as it seeped under the layers of his skin now that an annoying blond hadn't bother him yet.

Since The Rivera was closed on Sunday, Hope had trashed most of the day brooding over his apology speech for the blond. It was something trivial, not to be bothered with, but it plagued him the entire day in spite of that. He didn't know how Snow would react to their next meeting and he was a little worried that Snow wouldn't talk to him. It seemed his worrying about Snow talking to him again was the least of his concerns. Dusk had long since passed, the night was slowly covering the city and there was still no tall blond inside the building. The man was usually here by now, smiling and teasing his time away like he always did. Not tonight however. He felt a twinge of sadness in his chest as guilt slowly started to sink heavy in his heart, telling him that he wouldn't see that infectious smile anymore.

As the night proceeded, Hope mindlessly preoccupied himself with small tasks around the tavern while keeping a keen look out for a certain someone. Each time the door swung open, his eyes instantly flickered in that direction, however, he could merely frown when some regular came in followed by a gust of cold air. Eventually, more soldiers arrived as usual with a date in their arms, same old habits still persisting. However, throughout the night some of the trainees would send an unsettling glance in his direction when they stepped into the building. The sharp look they cast upon him, made him feel uneasy, causing his chest to heave. He quickly shifted his gaze away, feeling ashamed and guilty. Hope knew what he had done and he undeniably deserved their ill-scrutiny.

The hours of darkness outside The Riveria gradually continued to stretch despite Hope's discomposure. He had never known that a few hours of mindless work could be so painfully slow and dull. Hope turned his eyes to his mother, in whom doting devotion for her customers kept the silver-haired woman on her feet and away from her thoughts. Snow still hadn't arrived and the silverette was becoming anxious with himself as guilt continued to consume him.

"Hope it's almost closing time." His mother sweetly informed him. The silver haired woman looked a bit worn out from working as she approached him, sitting on a stool behind the counter top. Hope, on the other hand, didn't look a bit overworked. Other than his mother and himself, there were about three soldiers left inside the building, drinking down their last order of beer.

"Can you be a dear and gather those empty bottles for me?" Nora smiled warmly, gesturing to the random beer bottles around the room.

"Okay." Hope sighed tiredly and hopped off the stool while missing the sudden and curious look his mother was giving him.

"Hope? Is something wrong?" Nora asked worriedly, seeing the sad look on the teen's face.

"Snow didn't come." Hope frowned, his shoulders hanging low.

Nora tensed unexpectedly and quickly snapped her eyes across the tavern to an empty table. Her features fell when she finally noticed that the said man wasn't there like always. She had purposefully kept herself busy with work and attending to her customer's needs that she had forgone any thoughts concerning the blond. There was a sudden pang in her chest, anxiety slowly building inside her. "Maybe something came up." Nora tried to reassure herself and her son.

"Maybe…" Hope said softly.

Guilt tugged at Hope. It settled profoundly in his heart, eating him up and sinking its fangs into his skin before spitting him out. His heart felt like a rock, weighing heavy in his chest, and it wasn't showing any signs of getting lighter. Two weeks went by and still no Snow. He didn't expect the man to suddenly stop coming. It was almost natural, now that Hope thought about it over the days which had turned up empty, gray and uneasy. As the days turned sour, he could feel the heaviness in his chest getting worse, tightening and growing as the seconds ticked away. The strict sensation felt heavy in his chest, crawling up his throat and settling there, making it unbearable to breath. He tried to gulp it down, but the lump was forcibly lodged in his throat. This feeling was the most dreadful and miserable thing he had ever felt in his life.

The weather also seemed to agree with his pain as only grey, dark clouds overcast the city for the past week. The weather shifted so quickly that he didn't notice it. The afternoon started with a drizzle which turned into an earnest shower and it wasn't showing any signs of fizzling out. Hope shifted his gaze to the window when a flash of lightning split the sky, off in the distance. The autumn rain in Palumpolum was jarring and insipid, a cold and wet climax to add after an uncomfortable, gray day. The silverette spent a revere moment just staring at the window which continued to be smeared with raindrops. He didn't like any of this.

To add to his displeasure, the tavern was filled up with the usual locals and soldiers, but the building was too quiet for his taste. The near silence was tangible. It settled deeply in Hope's lungs, suffocating. A pair of curious, sea green gems swept across the tavern to notice the once infested and noisy tavern was reduced to grumbling and sulking soldiers, brooding over their thoughts. It was the soldiers' last night on Cocoon and not one of them was muttering a word. The silence seemed to be drowned out from the heavy and continuous raindrops beating against the roof. They were all thinking of the war outside Cocoon and the voyage to Pulse tomorrow. Their moments of liberty were coming to an end. The near silence was too cold and unnerving. When had his world turned so quiet? Hope flinched on contact when a soft hand clasped his shoulder. He looked back and saw his mother also casting a forlorn look around the bar. She was also shaken by the soldiers' demeanor.

If anybody could cure this quiet mood, it was definitely Snow. Hope could almost see it happening now before his eyes as the blond would step through the door, smiling that stupid, lopsided and attractive smile that he had come to yearn for while Snow called himself a Hero. Next the soldiers would give a round of cheers to the blond like they normally did and go back to being loud and obnoxious. Then Snow would look at him, throwing a huge and warm smile in his direction that made his chest throb before walking towards him. Rather than ordering something to drink, the blond would order for his company instead. Hope clenched a fist around his black shirt, feeling a tightening sensation squeezing his heart. Everything was hurting and he did not know what he should do to make it stop. After two weeks of waiting, Hope wanted to see Snow. He desperately wanted to see the blond. If he could he wouldn't hesitate in the slightest to take back the hurtful words he said to the blond.

"We have a long run together." A soldier suddenly spoke, his solemn voice breaking through the raging storm outside. All eyes simultaneously snapped toward the soldier as the fear and tension in the air seemed to melt away in the familiar direction. "But we have a duty to do tomorrow." The soldier smiled, raising his glass in the air. "We will rejoice in adversity as brave men going into the storm of war. For Cocoon, our home, we will protect."

"For Cocoon." All the soldiers cheered in response, raising their glasses or bottles and then noise exploded within the building.

A weak smile graced Hope's face, seeing the soldiers back to being their noisy and ill-considerate drunk selves. His eyes flashed to the door, hoping for the tiniest of hope that it would open, but it didn't. Hope just wished for Snow to be here with him for one last moment, teasing and annoying him like he always did without an ounce of worry on his shoulders. He sighed heavily. That wasn't going to happen in a long shot.

"He's not coming, is he?" Nora stated, appearing beside the teen.

Hope flinched, his gaze shifting from the door to his mother who was offering a warm smile to him. Just from that warm gesture he already knew what his mother was thinking. Hope coughed and glanced from his mother's caring eyes, feeling an embarrassing heat soar up his spine, making the blood rush to his face. "So it seems." The words were croaked out hard and raw from his throat, which was tight. However, he wasn't expecting the chuckle from his mother who just giggled at his expense. "What?" He asked, becoming slightly annoyed.

"You made the cutest face just now." Nora smiled.

"Mom!" Hope flushed, looking around desperately, hoping that not a soul heard what his mother had just said to him. Lucky for him, everyone else in the tavern was too engrossed with their drinks and exuberant conversations to even offer an eye in his direction. His mother ruffled his hair before she was called away to the other side of the building.

The night trickled away as soldiers one by one stepped into the cold, pouring rain. Some of them came up to his mother and gave her a sincere 'thank you' with a hug. This tavern had become a sort of haven for the soldiers after a long day of training and to escape their worries about the world outside of Cocoon. Sooner or later it was just him, his mother, and a washcloth which he was using to clean the tables. There wasn't much of a pulse inside the tavern anymore. It was completely still and eerie with the exception of the storm raging outside. Then the door swung open, making Hope recoil as the clamor outside entered the tavern.

"Is this place still open for the night?" A familiar, rough voice hollered.

Hope felt his heart leap when he saw Gadot entering the building, shrugging a coat off his shoulders. He dropped the washcloth without knowing and hurried to the door, hoping that familiar someone would be following behind. However, his excitement was short-lived when it was just the dark-skinned man who entered the building. He stopped and frowned at the fiery haired man who just raised a brow in his direction before smirking.

"Geeze kid. I wish you showed such enthusiasm like that whenever I come in but I think you were hoping to see someone else. Am I right?" Gadot said seeing the teen's face fall into a disappointed pout. He suppressed a chuckle rousing in his throat. He could understand the reason why Snow would come here every day.

"It's just that..." Hope's gaze shifted to the floor. The constriction in his chest was tight, almost suffocating. He could not do anything but stare at the floor, his body trembled and his eyes burned.

"First Snow carrying that look and now you."

"How is he?" Nora asked carefully as the man took a seat on one of the stools by the bar. She quickly grabbed a beer from the refrigerator behind the bar and passed it before the muscular man.

Gadot's face fell instantly before letting out a tiresome sigh. "Man! Where should I start with that one. Never seen Snow so down before. All he's done for the past week is mope around." He said before turning around to meet Hope, offering a weak smile. "But damn kid! You sure didn't hold back on your punches."

Hope's stomach twisted in guilt and looked down. "I didn't mean to." He said softly.

"I don't blame you." Gadot said, uncorking the cap from the beer and taking a gulp down. "Since we were kids Snow has always aspired to be a hero, to protect the people of Cocoon, and I teased him about it even though he got chewed out a lot for it."

"It's reckless." Hope pouted, gaining a chuckle from the man.

"That's how Snow always is." Gadot smiled weakly, taking a few more larger gulps, chugging all of it in one go. He slammed the empty bottle on the countertop, which rang throughout the building. He squeezed his fingers around the cold, wet glass as his face contorted into stiff rage. "And because of that he probably wouldn't be coming back."

Hope felt something tighten in his chest from the somber look on the muscular man's face. Did he hear right? Snow wouldn't be coming back? "What do you mean not coming back?" He asked doubtfully, confusion blanketing his face.

Gadot rubbed the back of his neck and turning to face the silverette who looked puzzled and let out a weary sighed. "I don't understand it either, but he joined the SFU, a special task force that oversees missions on Pulse. The missions are dangerous, almost suicidal, and their stories appear to support those claims as not many soldiers come back alive from SFU."

The silver haired teen felt like something had crashed in his stomach. The room got quiet as thunder boomed in the distance, flickering the lights for a second. Hope stood staring, eyes wide at the fiery haired man. He couldn't imagine never seeing that smile on the blond's face again. "But… But why?" was all he could ask. Was this the reason why his parents were so upset with him and the sharp looks that the soldiers were passing him? He shifted his gaze to his mother, who was carrying a sad look on her features. "You knew about this?" He asked his mother. She nodded sadly. They all knew and he didn't. All the spiteful and hurtful things he said to Snow, there was no way he could take them back. There wouldn't be another chance. "Where is he?" He demanded, finding the confidence back in his voice.

Gadot raised a brow in the teen's direction. "He's probably in his room at the base."

With that information, Hope dashed to the entrance. He didn't pause for a moment to think what he was doing as he stepped into the cold and torrent rain. He faintly heard his mother's worried voice and another rougher one that echoed 'It's room 206' through the heavy rain sheets but he didn't look back. All that was on his mind was Snow.

"Hope! Wait?" Nora called out, running out the tavern as well but the teen was already a few blocks away and was not showing any signs of stopping.

"Let him go." Gadot appeared beside the woman, his lips quirked in a smile. "I think this is something we shouldn't interfere in."

Nora gave a long distance look in the direction her son fled to. She closed her eyes and then something strange lit up in her head from the muscular man's words. Thoughts and images of the three past months or so of Snow and her son conversing and interacting were swirling in her head. "You don't think those two-"

"I am not going there." Gadot chuckled, quickly brushing the thought aside, stepping out of the rain and back into the dry and warm building with a smiling silver-haired woman following him.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Dun dun dun... What's going to happen next? Hmmm *tapping my fingers together like Mr. Burns* Excellent!

Please Review!