Title: Goodbye
Prompt: Dear past self
Characters: Mirajane Strauss, (Strauss siblings)
Rating: T
Word count: 637
Warning: Spoiler-ish for any chapter and episode about the Strauss family before Edoras arc
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Mirajane closed the door of Elfman's room quietly.
They've had a long night of talking about their loss and their plans. There wasn't really much to do after Lisanna's funeral. They went straight home and shared the initial silence, until words started to pour out. It was decided they will keep Lisanna's room as she left it that fateful day, albeit locked.
Starting tomorrow.
Tonight, Mirajane silently marched to her sister's room and entered it for the last time.
She looked around the small but well-kept room. There's the princess bed, with the stuffed kitten her sister, at fourteen, still favored. A gift from Elfman. There's the side table with the stack of light novels Lisanna has just started to get into, as well as a framed picture of them from the carnival the summer before.
She reached for the photograph and willed herself not to cry.
It was their agreement; she and Elfman agreed to do their best to move on. Lisanna was such a wonderful young girl who would not want her family and friends to live in sorrow. If she could speak to them now, she would insist that they stop crying and say something that would help make them feel better.
Mirajane returned the photo to its place and took one last look around.
As she locked the door, she wondered if she should have said words of goodbye. She remembered, though, Lisanna's words from long ago, and thought there was no need. At ten, her sister had said to her older brother grieving for his pet, "All living things eventually die. It's unavoidable. But as long as you remember, it will live on in your heart forever." And now, she and Elfman will hold on those words as if they were said to guide them in this time of greater loss.
They will not say goodbye to their sister, because she will live on in their hearts despite her physical absence.
So instead, Mirajane decided to say goodbye to her past self, to make way for the person her sister always believed her to be. A person she secretly wanted to be, but resisted for a long, long time.
In her mind, she wrote a letter to herself—to her past self:
You've been through so much, seen so much loss at a young age. Looking back at it all, it really isn't a surprise to see what you've become.
You chose to avoid making new friends, because you don't want to hurt when you lose them. You refused to show everyone else the side of you that is kind and cares so much, thinking it will protect you.
You chose to love a few, almost only just your remaining family, and thought that your concentrated love can keep them safe in your arms. But it didn't, because life isn't meant to be lived that way.
You have so much love to give, just as there are so many people ready to love you. You just have to look around and acknowledge them. They had always been there for you, waiting for you to accept them. So don't hold back anymore. Love as much as you can. Don't run away from these people who want to be your friend.
From now on I'm setting you free from the walls I built around you. It is time to reinvent. It is time to move forward.
In her mind, she released that letter to the winds and watched the wind play with it. She watched it soar.
When she finally headed to her own room, she felt a little less sorrowful. For while this loss has created a permanent void in her heart, her new self will keep in mind that she isn't entirely alone. She has her brother, her guild… her new friends.
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fin
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Thank you for reading!
This is for Clymacs who requested this on tumblr.