Disclaimer: In chapter 1. However, I do need to add that 'Fins, Femmes and Gems' wasn't written by me, and I am just borrowing it for artistic and entertainment purposes.
Author's Notes: And with this the FFG section of "Hero" comes to a close. I have taken artistic license, so please don't hate me for any of the changes. I tried to be true to the essence of this awesome episode (it's my favourite). The FFG portion of 'Hero' has been fairly X/G focused, but Regina and Emma feature a little more in this chapter. Thank you to everyone reading, reviewing, favouriting and following "Hero".
Also: If you want a Xena magnet go to Shipper Haven on Facebook and follow the link to their eBay page. Mine is on my fridge already. They have quite a good selection.
The apparatus was simple in design: two long branches arced up and crossed near their tops; connected with a small length of rope was one of the reels Xena had been using; the Mystic Diamond dangling tantalisingly from it, and was pulled back by longer piece of rope.
The three women watched with curiosity as Xena made her finishing touches to the structure. Gabrielle fidgeted from foot to foot, and finally couldn't stay silent, "So, what are you doing?"
Xena pulled back on the connecting rope and tied it off to a peg on the shore. "I'm sending the North Star back to the heavens before nightfall." Xena pulled her sword from the sand. "Hopefully, the power of the Mystic Diamond will help guide it home."
"But, it's mine!" Gabrielle took a few desperate steps towards the diamond.
"Well, just think, Gabrielle. Every time that people look up into the night sky, and see that perfect star, they'll think of you."
"Hmm," Gabrielle uttered thoughtfully.
"It'll be a symbol of your beauty for all time to come," Xena added with a grin.
"It is too bad that the people can't see the real thing." She didn't see Xena roll her eyes, but Regina did and she smirked. "Guess a symbol of it will have to do." Gabrielle nodded decisively, her hands clasping behind her back. "Fire away!" She ordered. When Xena didn't do anything she turned, "What are you waiting for?"
Sword at the ready, Xena answered, "You'll see."
A few bubbles appeared in the water, and another second later more surfaced closer to where the women were standing. Gabrielle looked aghast, "Xena, you're not going to use my diamond as bait, are you?"
"It's just crazy enough to work," Xena watched with keen and excited eyes. At the moment she saw Solaris breach for the diamond she swung, "Ahhh!"
With the Mystic Diamond held snugly within its mouth, Solaris spun head over tail up into the sky. 4 pairs of eyes watched until it disappeared into the scattered clouds.
"I think you just put a fish in the heavens," Gabrielle said in awe.
"I dedicate this fish to Lyceus." Xena's head twitched to the side, and the other as she lifted both hands to each temple. The maniacal look in her eyes dissipated.
"Are you OK?" Gabrielle patted Xena's shoulder briefly before turning back to the lake.
Xena looked about her, "I was obsessed with fishing, wasn't I?" Her hand went towards Gabrielle instinctively.
"I'm sorry, Xena," she held Xena's hand between both of hers, "but I really don't pay that much attention to you." Gabrielle turned and approached the water, "I have much more important things to do with my time." She knelt.
Xena noticed that Regina and Emma's attentions were wavering. She saw Regina look towards the tree cropping above the beach, and Emma was eyeing off her armour again. She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Emma? Joxer isn't himself. We need to save him, but to do that we need to know where he is. Go find him, but don't get him just yet."
"You can count on me!" Emma stated before striding off towards the path.
"I thought I heard Argo nearby. Regina, can you find her for me please? I know you have an affinity with horses."
Regina glared for a moment, and it seemed to be her default expression. But she still gave a brief nod and headed in the direction of the field nearby.
Alone at last, Xena finally could voice herself, "Gabrielle, I just realized what it was that was driving my obsession. It's not fishing! It… it's all the unresolved business between me and my brother. I felt like I still owed him something." She gazed into the sky, "The minute I acknowledged it, I was out from under its spell."
"Ah, I just love the way my eyes glow in the sunlight."
Xena looked at her friend, "Gabrielle, there's something that's bothering you that you need to get in touch with."
"You're right," Gabrielle looked up thoughtfully, unaware as Xena come to kneel behind her, "These boots don't work with this skirt."
Xena lightly grabbed the blonde's arm, "No, Gabrielle, think. There is something about yourself that you're not satisfied with."
"Other than the fact that no one gives me credit for anything, and everyone thinks I'm a silly sidekick?" Gabrielle frowned and lifted her hand to her head. "Ow, I've got this headache."
"Well, you're back to normal, now. Gabrielle, from now on, I'm gonna make sure you get a lot more credit for the things you do." She gave Gabrielle's arm and comforting squeeze, "That's a promise."
"Thanks."
"Insight released us from the spell," Xena put her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder and looked to the sky again.
"That's all it took?"
"Let's get outta here." Xena helped Gabrielle up. "Come on, we've got to help the others."
Xena found Regina in the field grooming Argo. Normally she wouldn't let the brunette near something or someone she cared about, but this past week or so travelling with her had changed her stance on the woman. She could also relate to her and her feelings towards a blonde companion. Xena was calm in her approach, she knew better than to startle her.
"I see you two are becoming friends."
Regina looked up at her and then back to Argo.
"I'm surprised you're not growing another tree."
This time Regina looked towards the closest trunk. There was a longing in her eyes, a longing so deep it made Xena shudder. She knew a little of the former Queen's past, enough to know that her life hasn't been an easy, enjoyable or happy one. But that was no excuse; especially not when the way to change that was within reach.
"With anyone else I would employ tact, but I know you would appreciate me getting straight to the point," Xena began, and waited until Regina turned and locked brown eyes with blue. "As beautiful as those trees can be, as rewarding as it is to grow them, nothing will be able to fill the void you feel, not like Emma can."
Regina's lips parted in shocked. "I don't… she doesn't… How dare you assume you know anything about me!"
Xena stood her ground. It's not the first time she'd been yelled at. Admittedly, those people couldn't throw a fireball in her face… "Regina, listen to me. I am on your side. I know how you feel about Emma. I can see it in your eyes, and your actions."
Regina paled slightly, but her cheeks flushed.
"Why are you so desperate to grow these trees?"
"I…" Regina stammered, "They, they need me."
"And you think you need them?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Xena asked softly.
"Because they don't judge me. They don't demand of me more than their barest needs. I don't have to pretend to be anything but myself." Regina held a hand over her heart.
"Do they make you a better person?"
"Yes," Regina said flatly, with a slight frown.
"How?"
Regina hesitated, "I… I care for them."
"Like you always have."
"Yes."
"And then? Where is the growth, your growth?"
Regina opened her mouth, but then closed it again. She turned her gaze towards the tree line. "They won't leave me. If I take care of them they don't die, they don't leave me like everyone else does."
"Emma didn't leave." Xena pointed out.
Regina scoffed. "She stayed for Henry."
"They son you raised." Xena took a tentative step closer. "She saved you from that fire. And the beast." Another step, and an amused smirk, "She even stood between my sword and you, knowing she didn't stand a chance against me."
Regina looked at Xena again, and if she noticed the distance between them had decreased she didn't acknowledge it. "What do you want me to say?" She asked, exasperated.
"What more can those trees give you that Emma can't?" Xena asked bluntly.
Regina's eyes glazed over for a moment before she focused on Xena again. With a sigh she whispered, "Nothing." Regina groaned in frustration, "That woman! She was born to be a thorn in my side! How, in all the realms, could I have fallen in love with her?"
Xena stepped forward and grabbed Regina when she swayed. She let her lift a hand to her head and waited until she recovered. Xena wasn't surprised when Regina brushed her off. "It's amazing what a little push in the right direction can do. I wouldn't be as happy as I am without Gabrielle by my side. It took me a long time to realise that love wasn't a weakness, but a strength."
"How… What just happened?"
"Aphrodite put us under a spell."
"That little…" Regina balled her hands into fists.
Xena held up her hands, "Easy. We'll deal with her later. Right now you need to save your damsel."
Regina raised her eyebrow, "The so-called damsel thinks she's the hero."
"So?" Xena shrugged. "Prove to her that you can be one too. Save her."
It wasn't hard to find Emma. By that, it wasn't hard to find Joxer. The Ape-Man wasn't exactly quiet. It was when she looked up to check his movements that she tripped over the protruding tree root and landed snugly in the arms of one Sheriff Emma Swan, Saviour.
Emma grinned at her, "You know, people will start talking if we keep meeting like this."
Regina regained her balance and shifted her weight to her own feet. "I'm not afraid of gossip Miss Swan," she gently stepped back out of bare arms.
"Gossip, huh?" Emma questioned, acutely aware of the difference between gossip and rumours.
"It seems your bounty hunting skills haven't deteriorated too much since loitering around my town. You found him." Regina inclined her head towards a grunting Joxer, who picked at the bark from his position on a thick branch. She assumed he was looking for bugs.
Emma took it as the compliment she knew it was. She was getting better at translating Regina-Speak. Besides, she had accomplished what Xena had asked her to do. A success is always a success to a hero. She stood up straighter with pride and a smile.
"Let's go back to the water," Regina suggested with a tug on Emma's tank top. She tried to ignore the way her fingers burned at the proximity to skin.
With a last look up to Joxer, Emma followed. She smoothly made her way in front of Regina and held every branch and twig out of her way.
Normally the former Queen would be furious that someone else has assumed the lead, but she smiled at the chivalrous gestures instead. It seems she can have manners. Who would have thought? Regina's lips twitched up ever so slightly. Now how the hell am I going to fix her? She cleared her throat. "So, Miss Swan, what made you watch that awful TV show?"
Emma's face flashed with hurt for a second before hardening. "Xena is a hero, and it is not an awful TV show. It is full of lessens with exceptional morals. Sure, the sound effects are a bit corny, but the dialogue is witty and the values it instils in true Xenites are important." She placed a hand over her heart.
Hero-mode, of course she would defend Xena, Regina groaned. "I'm sorry." She pursed her lips in thought for a moment. Take two… "How did you come to watch it?"
Emma paused at looked into Regina's eyes. She searched for something, some sign of insincerity. Strangely, she could see genuine interest under the usual layer of sass. She turned back to the path and continued before she spoke. "In prison, I spent a lot of time in the library…"
Regina bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from commenting on the unlikely image of Emma and books in the same place, and instead waited for the blonde to continue.
"It wasn't exactly a nice place. The lifers ruled the joint. If they decided they didn't like you, they sure as hell made sure no one else did," Emma frowned at the memory. "So I strategically waited in the library." Not hiding, Emma insisted to herself. "The 'librarian'," Emma gave a short laugh, "well, she was a funny old dyke. And I don't say that in any bad way. It's just who she was." Emma clarified defensively. "She kept herself locked in her office watching TV. She would have this hard look on her face whenever an inmate was around, but when no one was watching her expression softened. I was curious."
Regina could believe it; Emma had a bad habit of getting up into other people's business. Most recently, hers.
"One day I snuck up real close. She didn't even notice," Emma grinned. "Every day after that I would sneak in and sit against the wall next to her door and just listen. I didn't even know about the show before then, but I was hooked." Emma's eyes glazed for a moment, lost in another time. "One day some of the girls started fighting over some crap romance novels and Deidre burst out of her office to break it up. She saw me then, but didn't have time to reprimand me. I ran out and didn't come back for a week."
Regina nodded to herself, taking in every little detail Emma was giving her. "What happened next?" She asked gently.
"I went back. Cautiously at first, shielding myself behind the bookshelves next to the door," Emma voice lowered instinctively. "After a few days I noticed that the flap in the door was left often, which let the sound out more. I couldn't understand why at first, but one day I got there early, just before she usually started watching, and saw her open it. She knew I was listening! And she allowed it."
"That was kind of her," Regina commented. She knew nothing about prison, but she did know that the Correctional Officer did not have to do that.
"Another few days later she asked me into her office. She told me to sit on the other side of her desk so I couldn't be seen from the window or doorway, but so I could still see the TV."
Regina raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"We watched a couple of episodes most days a week, and during those times I forgot I was in prison. It was just me and Deidre watching TV. Don't get me wrong," Emma hurried to say, "at the beginning and end of the day she was still a Screw, and I was a con, but when watching Xena none of that mattered."
"It was your escape," Regina murmured, mainly to herself. She knew about escapes. She had used magic as one after her failed attempts at bringing Daniel back.
"At first, yes," Emma nodded, "but it became more than that. It became this tiny little beacon of hope, and with each passing day it grew bigger, and brighter. Xena, and the show in general, became my compass, my guide. That show is the reason I turned my life around."
This piqued Regina's interest the most. "How so?"
"Because Xena did it," Emma said as if the answer were obvious. "I could see parallels. Ok, some of them were a bit of a stretch, but still… She'd had a troubled past, got mixed up with the wrong people. She got pregnant with Solan and gave him away to give him his best chance, just like I had done. But then she changed. She became a better person, she fought bad guys and helped the greater good. She became a hero."
Ah, there it is… "And you wanted to be like her?"
"I wanted to redeem myself, to become someone that my child could be proud of." Aware of the seriousness, and her dislike of opening up, Emma smirked and joked, "I knew I wouldn't find a hot girlfriend to slay warlords with, so instead I duked it out alone hunting bail jumpers." Emma shrugged, "I guess it was my own way of catching bad guys."
"But why Xena? Why not Hercules?"
"Because Xena isn't simply good or evil. She's grey. Each day she's constantly fighting to do better, to be better. Isn't that what they say? That's it the journey that matters and not the destination?" Emma turned around to face Regina. They had finally made it back to the lake.
"What about now?" Regina asked softly. "You are a good person, you uphold the law." Mostly, Regina commented to herself wryly. "You defended those who forgot how to defend themselves."
"Like you?" Emma asked.
Regina's lips parted in shock, "I didn't… N-no, I mean the others."
Emma stared at her.
Regina averted her eyes, afraid she wouldn't be able to resist the pull any longer. "You saved them." She shrugged. "You saved Henry," she whispered, "and me."
Emma shook her head and took another step closer. They were almost breathing the same air. "I didn't save you," she said sadly.
Regina looked at blue-green eyes, and at the sincerity of the words gave a small smile. "Yes, you have." She gulped when Emma looked at her lips. Focus Regina, this isn't about you, it's about her. Save her, Regina could hear Xena's words echoed in her head. She blinked and stepped back. "There's something else, something you're not saying."
Emma opened her mouth to protest but stopped when Regina held up her hand.
"I can understand you wanting to be like Xena as a kid. I understand that drive to be better," she admitted quietly, "for Henry. But what I don't get is why you're still trying to be the hero when you already are one!" Her words rose in volume. "Don't you get it? You're the Saviour! You saved the town, you saved Henry!" She finished in a yell.
"I didn't mean to!" Emma yelled back. She took a breath. "I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I didn't save him. He died…" Emma gasped in a sob. "I was saying goodbye. I was saying sorry. I was saying sorry because I wasn't enough."
Regina struggled to hold back her own tears. "Accident or not, you saved him."
"And who's going to save him now?" Emma yelled again. "Who's going to tuck him in at night? Who's going to make him breakfast?"
Regina stared.
"No one!" Emma's tears fell openly. "Because both his mothers are stuck in the Xenaverse fucking fishing!" Emma swept her hand towards the lake. "I failed him, again. I let the only mother his ever known get taken away from him. And it's my fault!"
"No," Regina shook her head, "no it's my fault. It was my curse that did this, not you."
"I couldn't stop the wraith, I couldn't save you!" Emma ignored the brunette's words. She took a hesitant breath. "But I have another chance now. I can make him proud. If I can just get us back to Storybrooke, I can be a hero." She took another breath, "I have to be the hero that Henry needs me to be, that you need me to be." Suddenly Emma held her head and put a foot forward to steady herself. She frowned in confusion and looked to Regina for answers.
Regina could see it now. She could see the pain in Emma's eyes, the suffering. They each had a cross to bear in life, and the fear of never being enough was Emma's. Regina couldn't stop her tears, and she beat down every long-instilled instinct and pulled Emma's tense body into a fierce hug. "Oh, Emma," she wept. "You already are a hero. Henry looks up to you, he loves you. In his eyes, as long as you're trying to do good then you are a hero." She held tighter when she felt Emma try to pull away. "And you're my hero." Regina squeezed her eyes shut, forcing out the tears that stung her. "You saved our son, whether you meant to or not. You make him happy. That's all I ever wanted for him. Happiness." She choked back a sob. "And for Henry, that's you. And by way of Henry, for his happiness, you're also mine."
Emma's half-hearted struggle for freedom stopped. She stood there, in Regina's embrace, frozen. Finally she stammered, "Wh-What?"
Regina hesitated, scared of letting someone in, of letting Emma in. She took in a shaky breath. "Henry's alive, because of you. And that makes me happy." The truth of her words hit her hard, and she felt her heart constrict in the long forgotten feeling. She gasped and held on for life and the tears fell unhindered, soaking into the strap of Emma's tank top.
Although she didn't completely understand all that had just happened between them, or what it meant, Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and held on just as tight and the brunette. She had only ever seen strong emotions from the woman when she was with Henry, except for the usual anger and annoyance directed at her, and she felt a strange warmth in her chest at being able to see this, to be a part of this.
They stood like that for some time, held tightly in a comforting embrace that neither would have admitted to desperately needing. Regina's sobs had eventually died down, and her tears not long after, but still she held on. Emma hadn't even realised she'd been crying until the tears had dried and pinched lightly on her skin. Awareness gradually set in; Emma's gente rubbing of Regina's lower back slowed to a stop; and Regina's hands that had somehow found their way into Emma's hair lowered to strong shoulders. They each took a reluctant step back and determinedly avoided eye contact.
Regina cleared her throat, and again when words wouldn't come out after the first try. "We should find the others. It's getting dark." She walked towards the path entrance.
"Yeah," Emma agreed, her voice hoarse.
Regina half turned when she couldn't hear Emma follow her. She could see Emma watch her through the corner of her eye. She smiled slightly, and then smirked, "Come along Miss Hero. You're not going to make me walk through the forest alone, are you?" She walked off again.
"No," Emma smiled. She hurried to catch up with Regina, and then fell into a comfortable silence as they made their way along the path, side by side.
Xena and Gabrielle lay close by each other on one side of the fire as they gazed at the stars. Gabrielle smiled contently, "Yep. It definitely looks like a fish. But which one's the North Star?"
Emma and Regina listened from the other side. They had barely spoken since they left the lake, although this time there was no air of negative tension. More nervousness, if Xena was forced to name it. When everyone was setting up the camp for the evening the two mothers had pulled their bedrolls out in tandem, and lay them not as far apart as usual. Xena smiled at the overall successful day. "The big one," she pointed up.
"Hmm," Gabrielle nodded when she found it. "Hmm. It's a good thing that you figured out all that insight stuff, Xena. Who knows how long we'd be under that spell?"
"I couldn't have done it without you," Xena readily admitted. "The only reason I do any good at all in this world is because I do it with you. You make an important contribution every day. I'm gonna make sure that people know that from now on," she promised again.
"You don't have to do that," Gabrielle smiled warmly, "but it's nice to be reminded that you feel that way." She heard branches creaking nearby, "Hmm."
"Oh! Ah!" Joxer could be heard as her landed with a thud, "Oh! Oh! Oh!"
"I think you still need to do something about Joxer." Gabrielle said.
"Tomorrow," she sighed contently, and smiled when she felt Gabrielle's hand reach for her own.
