The Harlequin and the Bat
This is the story sequel to: The Harley and The Ivy.
Important notes: I do not own Batman or any portion of the franchise. I give all credit to DC Comics and respective owners.
Chapter 16
Bill sighed as the group looked on at him as he booted up his old Arkham file on the New Bat-Computer. The name at the top was: Bill; that's all it said. Beneath was his diagnosis: clinically insane must require five years within Arkham for treatment. History: rivalries and disagreements with following: Johnathan "The Scarecrow" Crane, Victor Zsasz, Jervis "The Mad Hatter" Tetch and Edward "The Riddler" Nigma. Disrespects authority with Doctor Hugo Strange; has good term relationships with: Harleen Quinzel, Pamela "Poison Ivy" Isley and Slade "Deathstroke (The Terminator)" Wilson, Victor "Mister Freeze" Fries. Record: stays in library most of the time, had training sessions with Slade Wilson, talks to Victor Fries about his wife and alternate methods, (could mean extortion), became friends with Pamela Isley and Harleen Quinzel in the library.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Deathstroke?! You were friends with him?!" Dick was surprised because Slade was one of his most hated villains.
"I didn't have any choice, sometimes you have to make a deal with a devil to survive others." Bill started to explain. "*Sigh* okay…I have to start at the beginning: I used to work in Wayne Enterprises: defence division. I was making the prototype Meta-Human armour when I discovered that some of the Top Brass…err except you Bruce..." Bill apologised to Bruce "Were selling the armour plans and secrets to rival companies…I had to do something, then next thing I know; I'm being lifted by some goon and thrown into a vat full of chemicals and labelled: dead." Bill said sitting down on the settee in the Manor.
"That's horrible…they really did that?" Tim asked removing his mask.
"Yeah…not only that, after they found out I was alive they concluded I was mad. The chemicals in the vat drove anyone who took them insane; I think they must've taken some because I'm the only one who knows how to make the stuff. Anyway Bruce tried to help but you had your hands tied: hire back a psychopathic liar and lose your standing with the public or send me to Arkham…I don't blame you for not helping but I can see that you've regretted it." Bill continued
"And I have…I should've done something." Bruce said with remorseand Harley hugged him knowing he couldn't have done anything
"Water under the bridge." Bill brushed off the past. "Anyway day one of Arkham I was targeted…some thug tried to threaten me with a shank…I defended myself and broke his arm. The guards saw what happened and sent us back to our cells. Days passed and Crane and I started playing chess, he was good but I had more three moves ahead of him…won every time, he started to call me Brom, I didn't understand it at first…" continued retelling his tale.
"Yeah…he said that a few times when we visited him. Why'd he call you that?" Dick asked with his hand on Barbara's lap, she kept on moving it because she didn't like the teasing.
Bill didn't answer because he saw Dick and Barbara in their small teasing, shaking his head he continued "He called me Brom, because that was the name of Ichabod Crane's rival…he got his revenge on me soon enough, he slipped me a fear toxin mickey and made me imagine myself immolating for three days."
"You and him have never forgiven each other have you boo-boo?" Ivy teased.
"More Zsasz, than Crane…and don't call me boo-boo in front of the guys…" Bill explained
"Boo-boo? *Laugh* really?" Dick laughed
"Don't start…Wonder-boy…" Barbara teased
"Better you guys than me!" Tim smiled
"Well, you should hear what I call Bruce…" Harley teased
"Oh no…please don't come on Harley." Bruce asked
"Come on…we've had our embarrassing nicknames, what's yours Bats?" Bill teased
"It's…hmm?" Harley begun but got cut off by Bruce.
"It's not important." Bruce interrupted
"It's not important is your nickname…that sort of makes me feel better, regardless of the tabloids." Bill joked
"Miss Harley calls Master Bruce: Paladin." Alfred answered after serving a pot of tea.
"Defender of the faith…suits you Bruce. Milk no sugar, please Alfred." Bill asked for the tea Alfred was serving.
"So as you were saying." Harley asked
"*questioning*Hmm…*nodding* hmm…good tea Alfred, I've wanted a proper brew for a long time." Bill said in gratitude then the others looked at Bill. "I was born and raised in England, before I came over."
"Ah…another Englishman…but your accent…"
"Too much American TV Alfred; anyway…I met Slade in the rec room, I told him about the chemicals and what happened; he understood where I was coming from, he promised to train me if I wanted it. I was stupid and my problems really began with Zsasz…I saved some guards that Zsasz wanted to kill, and instead of killing me…he carved into me a new scar, just like his…for each one I saved. But I thought: each one of these scars I have is one guard I saved from death…but God damn, it hurt though." Bill closed his eyes from retelling the story reliving each moment as it happened in his mind. "Still, I took Slade's training and I got stronger. Tetch was pain in the ass, always reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland…good book but he was reading it every night and it was depriving my sleep. When I asked him to stop reading out loud he stuck one of those Wonderland hats on me and made me do the caucus race for two days…I was knackered. Riddler and Strange were always annoying: Riddler stole half my stuff and destroyed it when I couldn't get the answers right…when I found the answers in his riddles he just got angry at me and snuck a knife in my bed to get back at me. Strange…he put me through torturous hypnosis sessions, trying to probe my mind…to unravel its mysteries and when I didn't comply…zap! Electroshock therapy. Crazy four eyed quack." Bill hated the memory but it defined him in the time in Arkham.
"But how did you become friends with Fries?" Barbara asked
"Well, after wandering the halls in Arkham…I was one of the trusties; I was able to go around not being chained up. It was pure luck that I found Fries…he was trying to make a clockwork dancer, beautiful little device…"
(Flashback to three years in Arkham)
Bill knocked three times on the cold to the touch door; he heard a groan from inside, and as he opened it he saw a blue skinned man tinkering with a clockwork dancer platform, one that was hand sized.
"Damn, I can't get this thing to work…and I just want to see you dance my love…you are such a beautiful dancer." He said
"Tinkering away, are you?" Bill asked
"What is it to you?" The blue man asked
"I happen to be a gadget maker by trade…may I? My name is Bill, what's yours?" Bill asked politely asking for the device. "I promise to make it work."
The blue man handed the device and answered coldly "Victor Fries, former Cryogenesist of GothCorp. You can make it work?"
"Of course…She your girlfriend? The woman you're referring to." Bill asked
"My wife…Nora." Victor answered
"Oh…she on the outside?" Bill asked not being rude while carefully tinkering with the device.
"In a manner of speaking…she is in Cryo-stasis…she has an incurable disease…I'm in here trying to save her…I had no money and the way I am…I cannot join nor save her in the land of warmth…" Victor held the ice figurine delicately in his cold hands "and I miss her so much…" Victor said solemnly
Bill felt a tear forming but held it back. "Here, it should work now." Bill handed the platform to Victor.
As he placed the figurine and the glass protector on top of the platform and saw the figurine spinning in place "Thank you…"
"You're welcome…Victor…I get out in two years, if I survive, if you want I can help fund you. Anything you need to help give your wife the chance she needs." Bill said with a grin
"You'd do that…for a stranger? What's in it for you?" Victor said being cautious
"What's in it for me…I get a friend on the inside and the outside…and so do you…Victor." Bill offered his hand in friendship
"Then…we are friends…Bill…thank you." Victor answered
(End flashback)
"And that's how me and Victor became friends…I have a soft heart for guys like that. Some men in that position would leave their wives and go for some jailbait down the road…not Victor…he's still working on the cure, for Nora." Bill explained "I've been giving monthly drops round his place, Nora's with him, he's not given up."
"That's probably more romantic than those soap operas we watch." Ivy said
"*Sniff* a true prison friendship." Harley cried
"Don't get any ideas…any of you!" Bill defended aggressively
"So how did you, Harley and Ivy meet up?" Tim asked
"Well that'd be when I was in the library…I was reading a book on botany when…" Bill said thinking back
(Flashback to two years in Arkham)
"Excuse me…that's my book you're reading!" Ivy said
Bill was reading the botany book holding the page where a green bookmark was "sorry…I saved your spot…I'm Bill." Bill spoke politely
"Poison Ivy…how far are you in?" Ivy asked
"Poisonous and toxic plants...just on the "I" section…hey you're in here: Poison Ivy, red haired Vixen with beautiful green eyes and powerful aroma." Bill flirted
"You don't know me very well, do you? One kiss from me and it's the last one you'll ever get." Ivy retorted
(End Flashback)
"That is so not what happened! You were so tongue tied you just gave me back my book…you were cute in the whole: "Innocent boy routine" Ivy snapped back
"Fine, ruin my reputation! Kick me while I'm down!" Bill said dramatically "But you did introduce Harley to me…and our friendship began." He laughed then spoke normally.
"Yeah, when was that? Before or after the incident with the clown car and the blimp?" Harley tried to remember her past life.
"It was before the blimp but it was after the clown car!" Ivy explained
"Well, whenever it was. I'm glad I got to know you guys." Bill smiled
"but you lost five years of your life…don't you ever want them back?" Bruce asked
"Sometimes…but then if it didn't happen I wouldn't have been able to sing karaoke in front of the mandatory Arkham Christmas troop…I was freaking awful!" Bill said holding his head back
"I didn't know there was a mandatory Christmas troop." Barbara said surprised
"Oh yeah…there's about five hundred of us. We start on the solstice then finish on New Year's…by the end of it we're inebriated, with sore throats and raw hands from clapping." Ivy explained
"Oh yeah…you sang…what was it…" Harley wondered
"No please! I don't wish to relive the embarrassment!" Bill pleaded
"He sang: Don't look back in anger by Oasis…" Ivy answered "You weren't that bad…compared to the others…" Ivy smiled
"Right get the jukebox out we're testing that out!" Dick said with enthusiasm "Besides I hear Barbara does a very good: A moment like this." as he smiled Barbara gasped
"Have you been listening in on me when I was in the bath?" Barbara inquired as Dick raised his eyebrow.
"No, we are not doing a karaoke! I'm starving!" Tim said clutching his stomach
"As you are quite right, Master Tim: it's time for dinner. I've prepared: roast beef, vegetables and gravy." Alfred said in his most gentleman voice.
"Great…how long have we had a proper meal without any crazies running around?" Dick said as they got up.
"Yeah let's get going…besides I prefer to relax not singing, especially at this time." Bruce said
"Ah…I wanted to hear you sing…" Harley pouted
"Don't worry…you'll hear it soon enough." Bruce kissed his girlfriend and she grinned like a cheshire cat.
"Master Tim, please try and eat your vegetables this time." Alfred asked the young ward
"Don't remind me Alfred. I know!" Tim asked going up the stairs to the Manor.
"I always eat my vegetables…"Bill whispered into Ivy's ear caressing her posterior
"*gasp* Later, naughty boy…and not in front of Tim." Ivy blushed
"I wasn't planning too; he's only thirteen, we don't want to scar him for life do we?" Bill said grinning
To be continued
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Additional notes: I do not own Don't Look Back In Anger or A Moment Like This they belong to their respective writers