Once again, a huge thanks to everyone who has responded to this, it means a lot. Please keep reading, reviewing and following.. I'm open to criticism and will try to take everything on board. Take care xx
Chapter 3
As they were standing in the briefing room, surrounded by the silence and their beating hearts, they were aware of nothing but each other. Nothing else existed, and that was fine with them. Rachel, usually the one person nobody could shut up, was rendered speechless, unable to think properly, let alone form sentences. Janet was too nervous to talk. Given the way Rachel had treated her since the kiss – even the thought of it sent shivers down her spine – she was pretty sure that if she opened her mouth, their friendship, let alone anything else, would be finished. And so, they stared at one another. Lost in the presence of each other. After a moment, Rachel suddenly regained control of her vocal cords and brain activity simultaneously and opened her mouth to speak.
'Janet!' Gill shouted from her office, and when she got going her voice could send birds flying. It was testament to how dazed they both were, that neither Janet nor Rachel jumped a foot in the air in response.
It was a few seconds before Janet could break herself away from Rachel's gaze to respond. 'On my way, ma'am.' She looked apologetically at Rachel, before hurrying out of the room.
Rachel watched her leave, noticing her body in a way she never had before. Noticing the slender legs under her skirt, her trim waist, her shirt hiding the beauty that lay beneath it. 'I'm sorry..' Rachel whispered, but no one heard her. She slowly made her way through to the main office and spotted Janet in deep conversation with Gill in her office. Well, deep conversation on Janet's part anyway. From what the team could make out, Gill was throwing a tantrum about having to do this press conference, and Janet was trying to talk her down. It was a good job Janet had got the DS job to be honest; the team needed someone like her to calm down Gill when she was on the warpath, and really Janet was the only one brave enough to tackle her when she was like that.
Kevin was swirling around on his office chair, talking shit as per usual and where Rachel usually took his crap with a pinch of salt – or tried to at least – today she found she couldn't. 'Kevin, will you PLEASE do the work assigned to you for once? How are we expected to solve a murder case when we're looking after a bloody toddler all day?' Kevin looked confused. 'I mean YOU, dipshit. You have five minutes to get all the paperwork together and head upstairs to your little office for the day, or I'm telling Godzilla.. and by the looks of her, she won't stand for it today.'
Kevin shot a look at Rachel while muttering something that sounded ridiculously childish like 'Don't get your knickers in a twist..' and sulkily collected everything he needed. Pete had just made a brew for everyone else and so they sat at their desks and tried to brainstorm off each other in regards to the murder case.
'How the hell is it not Jonson's DNA on the body? I don't understand it. His trainer was there, so he must have been too. We're missing something here, what are we not seeing?' Mitch groaned into his coffee mug, looking frustrated. Rachel was glad of this line of conversation, she was happy to throw herself into work, something she felt confident in. It was so much easier sorting out other people's problems than having to face her own and she gladly participated.
'Not only that, don't forget that there are two sets of DNA on the body. TWO! Which means we're looking at at least 2 people being involved, which we hadn't considered before, and that's not including Jonson, if he was at the scene.' She looked around, and saw that everyone looked pretty despondent. If they hadn't been able to find concrete evidence to link one person to the crime, how much hope did they have of finding two?
'It's not looking good, is it? And now we only have about 5 hours before we are going to be forced to release Jonson. What's betting that he's going to keep quiet until then?' Lee piped up.
'Well, we'll soon find out,' Rachel said, draining the last of her tea. 'Mitch. I'm going to go down and have a quick cig and then we can try and crack him again. His trainer was there for God sake, we need a bloody explanation.' With that, the team disbanded to follow their assigned roles and Mitch followed Rachel downstairs.
Xxx
'How was it? Was it okay?' Gill asked Janet on their way back to the station from the press conference, while staring at the road ahead, being extra careful due to the recent wet weather.
'You were fine, try not to worry about these things so much. I'll tell you something, my mother will be so pleased seeing me on TV for this thing. Even without a speaking part, she was spitting feathers when she saw..' she faltered, 'er, when she saw DS Roper doing that one a couple months ago.'
'Well at least someone will be happy, eh, cock?' Gill muttered. Her phone started ringing, causing both of them to start violently. 'Bloody hell, what's gotten into us, panicking like idiots? Answer that, will ya?'
'Hello, DC.. er- DS Scott speaking.' Janet answered, flushing slightly at her own stammering.
'Oh..' Rachel floundered for a minute before implementing as much professionalism in her tone as she could muster. 'DC Bailey here. We have an hour before we have to release Jonson, we've got no new information, just wondered if boss wanted us to file for an extension while we have time?'
Janet relayed the question to Gill, her blush firmly in place although now for completely different reasons. 'Shit. Okay.. put her on speakerphone.' Janet did as was requested. 'Rachel, can you hear me?' Before Rachel had time to reply, Gill pressed on. 'Don't worry about applying for an extension, it'd be a waste of time, they won't give it to us on the minimal information we have. You'll just have to release him. Before you do though, I want you to make it very clear to him that we'll be watching him closely. If we have to release the prick, I want him to know we're breathing down his bloody neck.'
'Okay ma'am, will do. See you in a bit.' Rachel hung up.
'This conference best unearth some leads, we are up shit creek without a paddle so far.' Gill moaned. 'I'm getting too old for this, I'm winding myself up too much. Distract me, Jan.'
'What? Distract you with what?' Janet looked confused. She was as stressed about this case as everyone else, and on top of that she couldn't get last night out of her head. It was overload.
'I don't bloody know. Tell me what the hell is up with you and Rachel? You two are usually the best of mates, and I couldn't half feel some tension this morning between ya both.'
Janet paled, and looked out of the window in an attempt to hide the pain she was sure was written across her face. 'Oh, it's nothing. Rachel is upset about her brother, and we were both tired last night, so we had a little argument. Nothing to worry about.' She should have been an actress with these skills, she thought to herself drily.
'I see. Well, do you want to move over to Andy's old desk? That way you won't be in each other's faces all the time.' Gill knew what it was like to be at loggerheads with a colleague that you lived with. Take her twat of an ex-husband as example.
'No!' Janet blurted, without thinking, saying it so forcefully that Gill glanced in her direction. She laughed weakly. 'I mean, no it's okay thanks. All the lads are on those desks, and you know what they're like with their mess. Rachel may be a gobshite, but at least she's tidy.' There, she'd gotten away with that hadn't she? Hell, she'd even attempted a half assed joke at the end there. There was no way on earth Janet would be able to explain how she needed to stay where she was sat. If Rachel, God forbid, wanted nothing to do with Janet from now on, if they were sat at the same desk she'd still be able to see her face every day. No one was going to take that away from her, not when she risked losing everything of her relationship with Rachel at the minute. She was still pissed off with Gill for interrupting her when Rachel was about to speak. She'd tried to guess what the words were going to be at least 30 times so far, and it was only midday. Was it going to be a 'fuck off, Janet. Get out of my flat'? or perhaps a 'What the hell is wrong with you? I'm reporting you.'? She hoped not. She wanted to believe otherwise, but Janet being Janet always thought of the worst case scenarios. Life had taught her to be that way. Her bloody job had taught her to be that way. Enough of this line of thought, it was driving her crazy already. 'So, how's Sammy?'.
Xxx
Gill and Janet arrived back at the station to find Rachel outside trying to find shelter under a tree while having a cigarette.
'You should really give up that nasty habit, Bailey' Gill joked as they spotted her.
'Yeah, yeah boss. Listen, you might wanna get your arse upstairs. Mitch nipped out to buy some cookies, and Kevin happened to come downstairs at exactly the right time. You'll miss out if you don't get up there now. Oh, and tell him that if mine isn't on my desk where I left it when I get back upstairs, I'll batter him.' Rachel said, trying to keep the atmosphere light.
'He's a little shit! Slap owes me BIG TIME for this buffoon.' Gill muttered as she rolled her eyes. 'You coming, cock?' She said to Janet.
'I'll be up in a minute. Try and save a cookie for me would ya? I'm starving.' She called to Gill's retreating back.
Then it was just Janet and Rachel. Both stood there, getting soaked, but not really caring. They stared at each other, in danger of becoming tongue-tied once more, before Janet collected herself and tried to make chit chat. 'So, no leads with Jonson then?'
'Er- no. We just let him go. I said to Gill earlier, either he's the best liar I've come across and somehow his trainers went walkies without him knowing, or he's not involved at all. It's just trying to figure out which, isn't it?' Rachel was determined to not fall apart and look like a schoolgirl with a crush this time. As long as the conversation stayed in professional areas, she should be fine. 'Did the conference go okay?'
'Yeah, not bad, not bad..' Janet replied, trying and failing to not stare at Rachel's lips. She felt Rachel's eyes boring into her and jerked her gaze up. 'You know Gill, she was panicking the whole drive back. But it was fine. I'm just praying we get some bloody leads.'
'Yea-' Rachel started to say, before Janet interrupted.
'This morning..' Rachel blushed but Janet continued regardless, 'what were you going to say? Before Gill screeched for me, I mean?'
'Um..' Rachel stalled for time, knowing that Janet was going to insist of having a proper conversation, and here, in the pissing rain, at work, was not exactly the time to do it. If she was going to be humiliated, she'd rather it be where her other colleagues couldn't gawk, thank you very much. 'I was just going to say congratulations. You know, about the promotion?' She looked at her nails, trying to hide her expression.
'Oh.' Janet sounded deflated, though it definitely hadn't been the worst case scenario. 'Right. Well, thanks. I was going to tell you last night, but.. well, you know..' she looked embarrassed.
'Uh.. yeah, yeah. No. I mean, yeah, that's great news for you. You deserve it anyway. Well done.' She stared at the floor, before stretching out her arm, and gingerly giving Janet a squeeze. They both paused at the contact, holding their breaths, 'You did good.' Rachel threw her cigarette butt away and started walking towards the main doors. 'Come on, we've got a murder to solve.' She called behind her.
Xxx
In the office that evening, the atmosphere was a depressed one. Mitch had spent the afternoon trying to chase down Ethan Matthews, Jonson's alibi, to no avail. Kevin had come down throughout the day with different excuses, only to be sent promptly back upstairs. Janet had been in Gill's office most of the day, filling out far more paperwork than she'd realized she would be when she accepted the DS position. Pete had been out again to the victim's family to try and get more information, Lee had been speaking to people associated with Jonson and Rachel had been trying to trace the two samples of DNA. No one had gotten very far, and morale was low. Janet and Rachel had spoken occasionally throughout the day, though it was similar to the way Rachel or Janet would speak to anyone in the office, it wasn't with the same ease as usual.
At 8pm, Rachel went off to the ladies once again, the ridiculous amount of tea she had consumed so far now taking its toll. As she exited the cubicle, she saw Janet stood at the sinks, looking at her through the mirror. Rachel's heart began to pound, and she went to a sink, washed her hands and avoided eye contact by re-tying her hair in the mirror. Janet just watched her, unsure of what to do, hating the tension she'd felt all day, but knowing she had caused it. It was then, staring at Rachel, she made her decision. She would give anything to have her best friend, and if that meant forgetting the best snog she'd ever had, forgetting the butterflies that fluttered wildly in her tummy now when Rachel came into her vision, forgetting all the fantasies she'd had in the past 24 hours that included her and Rach being together, then so be it. Judging by Rachel's behaviour, clearly she didn't want anything more than what she already had with Janet, so Janet would back off. And so it's over before it even began, Janet thought wryly to herself, and though she was determined to keep from Rachel the pain that caused her, she couldn't hide from herself.
'Rach.. listen' Janet began, while Rachel stared nervously looking as if she was about to interrupt. 'Whoa, you had a chance to speak without interruption last night, please just let me say what I need to say.' Rachel's eyes were wide and she looked like a child. Janet felt an ache deep within, knowing that no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't wrap Rachel in her arms, hold her tight and kiss her until her worries melted away. 'Things have been… awkward between us today, I know. And I hate that. Honestly, I can't bear it. And I know it's my fault that it's been that way. So I wanted to say sorry. I don't even know what I was thinking last night. My emotions were all over the place, and the wine hadn't helped.' She laughed self-consciously, prepared to say whatever needed to be said, whether it be lie or truth, to get back the closeness she had with Rachel just 24 hours before. 'It would mean the world to me if we could just forget what happened last night, and just get back to normal. Please?' She almost choked on that last word, that's how forced and fake her pleas were. But she was giving Rachel the greatest gift she could, wasn't she? Wasn't the saying if you love them, let them go? If that was the saying, why didn't it also mention just how much it bloody well hurt? She maintained her poker face though; she wouldn't compromise Rachel any more than she already had.
Rachel looked stunned. So.. that was the confirmation. Janet regretted last night. She had made a huge mistake, and she didn't want any confusion. Rachel felt hurt. The only reason she'd kept her distance was in case she drove Janet away. And after the shock of last night had worn off, she'd begun seeing Janet in a new light. She'd begun thinking of what it would be like to feel those lips again. She felt so stupid. Of course. Of course Janet wouldn't want her. She just said herself that she was half pissed, emotional and was sorry. People only say sorry for something they regret. And Rachel had just become someone that Janet apparently really regretted. However, she tried to remind herself, her biggest fear had been Janet not wanting anything to do with her. If she accepted this, and moved on, she would keep her best friend. If she kicked up and said she wanted more, from what she could tell, she would lose her. There was only one thing she could do. And she had to be convincing. If Janet detected even a hint of falsity, she would be disgusted and then their friendship would really be over. Oh God, her head hurt. She wanted to curl up and hide from the world for a few weeks. Well no, she thought to herself, I want Janet. She pushed that thought out of her as soon as it entered. She wouldn't be able to do what she was about to do if she thought that way. She would save her wallowing for later.
'Oh God, yeah! I'm so glad we got that sorted, Jan. Today has been horrible without my best mate. And er- well, you know. I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for.. you know.. my part in last night. Yeah, let's forget about the whole thing. Let's get back to normal.' Rachel had given it her all. If Janet didn't believe her, there was nothing more she could give. It hurt enough just getting those few sentences out.
They shared a hug, both trying to fight their own feelings, unaware that they were not only denying themselves of what they wanted, but they were also denying each other. After a couple more minutes, they headed back to the office, both feeling like complete crap.
Xxx
At 9pm Gill came out of her office and surveyed her team. They all looked exhausted and she could sense the mood wasn't good. They all looked at her with tired eyes. 'Right everyone, firstly I want to thank you all. I know you've been working hard and you've all been doing really well. Also, I want you all to go home now and get a good nights kip so we can restart again at 7am tomorrow.'
The team looked slightly cheered by this, for the past few days they hadn't been getting home before 11pm, so this made a pleasant change. 'Thanks ma'am,' they all muttered as they got their belongings together and swiftly left the building.
As Rachel and Janet were getting ready to leave, they realized that they were the only two who would have been more than happy to stay until 11pm, the longer they were here, the longer they didn't have to face each other at home. Although they were each glad that they hadn't lost their mate, it was a bittersweet time for them, and even if this.. whatever it was.. did blow over, it would take a while to fall back in to the ease their friendship had once had.
Rachel spoke first, keeping her eyes averted as she picked her coat off the hook. 'I told Ali I would pop over there tonight if I finished early. You know, update her on Dom and all that. I shouldn't be too long, but don't wait for me to eat or anything, just make yourself something.' She lied blatantly. There was not a chance in hell she would go and see her sister, not when she felt like this. She just needed a couple of hours to herself.
'Right.. okay then.' Janet managed a small smile. 'I'll make enough for both of us and stick yours in the fridge so you can have it when you get in.' she wasn't completely convinced that she could be trusted for an extended amount of time with nothing to do but think. It was looking likely she would have some sort of minor breakdown, but she'd been through worse. If their strained friendship continued in this manner over the next few days, Janet decided that she would look for another place to live. She hoped it would sort itself out, but who knew?
They parted then; Janet going back to the flat and Rachel sat in her car having a cigarette, wondering what to do for the next couple of hours.
Xxx
Less than an hour later, Rachel had already go through two large glasses of wine, and was up at the bar ordering another one. Having not eaten, apart from the cherished cookie at lunch, the alcohol was hitting her more than usual which she actually quite liked. She didn't want to feel how she felt right now, she wanted to dim reality a bit. 'I'll have….. another red wine, and… you know what? Fuck it, I'll have a shot of sambucca too.' She told the barman as she became acquainted with the bar stool. She'd spent the best part of the last hour sat alone in a booth, drinking her red wine and thinking over the past day's events, and she was driving herself more than a little crazy. 'Here you go,' The bartender handed her her wine and sambucca, and Rachel had downed the shot by the time money had passed hands.
'Ah, that's better,' she said to herself before starting on the red wine.
'Bad day?' the barman asked, amused at how quickly her drinks were disappearing.
'Eh, you could say that…,' Rachel looked confused, 'what's your name?'
He pointed to his name badge, not able to hide the smile now. 'Er- it's Tom.' Everyone thought that being a barman involved chatting to all the customers, having arguments when closing time came. It wasn't like that at all, not where he worked anyway. It was actually really quiet and pretty lonely, so he quite enjoyed having someone, albeit someone pissed, to talk to.
'Tom! Cool. But yeah.. a very bad day. People.. ugh. People are annoying. Aren't they?' she looked up from her drink and saw Tom nod in response. 'I mean.. listen to this! My best friend lives with me. And we work together, but anyway. Last night.. she made a pass at me! At me! And I didn't really know what to think, so I panicked. And then I decided I liked it.. the kiss I mean. So we've been at work all day and then my friend told me that actually it was all a mistake and it should be forgotten! Can you believe that?' her face had started to redden due to the drink and the emotion she was feeling trying to put how she felt into words. She might not know Tom from Adam, but at least he was someone she could talk to. She downed the rest of her drink, and signalled for another one.
'Well.. yeah. I can believe that actually,' Tom replied as he poured another wine for his new friend. After 10 years of being a barman, he knew that becoming an Agony Aunt at a moment's notice was just part of the job description. He handed the red wine over to Rachel and sorted out the money in the till as Rachel pressed on with her story, determined to finish now she had started.
'No.. you don't understand. I hadn't even thought of this person in any way but friendship before last night. And since it happened I've been thinking about her in ways I haven't thought of any woman really before. I mean, I've had my odd fantasies in the past, hasn't everyone?, but I've never really wanted anything romantic with another woman. Until now. And now she's just.. ruined everything. She is my best friend, but she opened a door last night, and I could see in it and see how right us being together would be, and she just slammed that door in my face.' She was starting to slur now. Wow, she really should remember to eat before drinking. 'And now, well now I should be home, but instead I'm talking to a barman called..' her memory failed her, 'anyway, and I'm talking to you about everything because she doesn't care.'
'Look, this happens more than you would think. In the heat of the moment, someone kisses someone they shouldn't, they regret it, they make amends. It's just part of life. It sucks to be on the receiving end of that, but that's just the way it goes sometimes.' Tom said before leaving Rachel to think that bit of advice over while he served some customers.
When he returned to Rachel, she was draining the last of her glass. 'TIM!' she shouted merrily. 'One more shot for the road. Then I better go home. Feeling a bit woozy and got work in the morning.' She got a few quid out ready to pay for her shot, which was served up to her sharpish 'Yeah, you should get back, you'll be regretting this in the morning' he smiled and pointed at his badge again 'Oh.. and it's TOM by the way.'
'Oh… Tim.. Tom.. sounds the same to me.' She downed her shot in one. 'Thanks for the talk, Tim. You are a..' she hiccupped, 'a.. star!' Rachel stumbled out of the pub and climbed into a black cab. After telling him where to go she sat back on the seat. She didn't need to wait until tomorrow to regret her drink, she already knew she had drank too much. As she sat there being driven through the streets of Manchester, she thought again of Janet. She didn't feel sad now, so that was something. No, instead, she felt anger. Anger that Janet had pretended to like her more than she obviously did. Rachel had enough reasons to feel not quite good enough, she didn't want to feel that way anymore. She wasn't going to let anyone make her feel that way anymore. 'Who does she think she is? Swanning into MY life, into MY flat, kissing ME, making ME feel things I didn't want to feel, and THEN deciding she doesn't want that. What about ME?' she muttered angrily to herself, as the cab driver looked through the mirror at her, confused. She knew even under the fog of alcohol that she wasn't thinking rationally, but she didn't care. She couldn't just forget what had happened, she couldn't forget how Janet had made her feel. More importantly, she didn't want to forget that. It all felt like a mess, and all these thoughts were feeding her anger.
When the cab finally reached her flat, she gave the driver what she owed plus a generous tip and stumbled out of the taxi. At the buildings main front door she spent a good couple of minutes searching through her bag for the keys. Why is it that whenever she had a drink, her bag suddenly seemed endless? She finally curled her fingers around them and slumped against the door, having to close one eye to focus on the lock enough to be able to open it. With that obstacle completed, she tiptoed through the building to her flat door, trying not to disturb anyone. When she got to her door, she fiddled for a few moments, cursing under her breath because the door refused to budge. Finally, she realized she was attempting to open the door with the wrong key and tried again with the correct one. Unknown to her, Janet had been in the living room trying to occupy herself with some tripe detective series, laughing at the differences between this show and the reality of the job. As she was quite engrossed, it took her a short while to hear and comprehend the noises that were coming from the front door. Her stomach flipped as she realized Rachel was home, and after another few moments decided to help her in seeming as she was apparently having so much trouble with it.
Janet went into the hallway and could hear Rachel on the other side, mumbling to herself about something or another. As she opened the door, Rachel almost fell through before somehow steadying herself by grabbing the doorframe.
'Oh God, Rach. I thought you were going to Ali's? You're hammered.' Janet said quietly, stepping back from the door and watching Rachel wobble her way through to the living room. 'Shall I make you a cuppa?'
'No. I don't want anything, thank you very much.' Rachel slurred, the acidic tone evident. 'So.. what have you been up to?'
'Er- nothing really. Having less fun than you by the looks of it. I made some pasta, yours is ready to be reheated whenever you fancy it. Then I just watched some tv. Where have you been?' Janet enquired, eyeing Rachel nervously. She really didn't want an argument but it didn't look as if Rachel was going to be placated.
'I went pub. Met a lovely man. Jon he was called. Or was it Dan? Ugh, I don't know. He was nice. He listened to me.' Her tone was almost accusing as she leant against the wall to try and keep her balance.
'That's nice,' Janet smiled weakly, hovering at the doorway of the living room. 'It's only 11.30pm, you must have drank like a fish to get in this state in only a couple of hours.'
'What's it to do with you exactly? You said yourself last night that you couldn't keep acting like my mum, that all this..' she gestured angrily at herself, 'wasn't fair on you. So I can't see how any of this is your problem.'
Janet cared about Rachel, of course she did, she loved her, even if she wasn't sure just how deep that love went yet, but she wasn't prepared to be spoken to like shit. She wouldn't put up with it from her kids, from Ade nor her boss. She understood Rachel was drunk, but that wasn't any excuse. And as for her best friend being angry, well she didn't understand that all. All she'd try to do today was make Rachel happy, at the benefit of herself, and yet she STILL had a bee in her bonnet. Whatever the problem was, she wasn't going to be the scapegoat. 'Look Rach, I can tell you're pissed, and you're angry for some unknown reason to me, so I'm just going to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning.'
Rachel literally snorted in derision. 'You don't know why I'm angry, Jan? Really?' she took a step forward.
Janet eyed her warily. She knew Rachel wouldn't hurt her if she was sober, but everyone knew Rach got a bit hot-headed when she'd had a drink. And tonight she had had far more than one drink. 'No, I don't. I'm being serious, Rachel, I'm going to bed. Have a glass of water and then I'd advise you to do the same.' She turned and slowly headed up the hallway.
If asked later, Rachel wouldn't be able to explain this particular thought process. She didn't know if what happened next was because of the alcohol leaving her with next to no inhibitions, the alcohol making her more courageous to follow through on her feelings, or if she was just angry and didn't know how to tell Janet the words she so desperately wanted to say. Regardless, as soon as she saw Janet turn away from her, she followed her into the hallway. Janet turned around with what looked like fear in her eyes, although Rachel couldn't understand why, and as soon as she had turned, Rachel caught her in her arms and pulled her tight. She heard Janet gasp as Rachel, who still was unsteady on her feet, carried on walking down the hallway until Janet felt herself pressed up against the closed door of Rachel's bedroom. As soon as they were both steady, Rachel pushed herself up against Janet, trying to satisfy the desire of being close to her. There wasn't any awkward fumbling, clashing of limbs and faces as they moved with each other, it was as if they were a perfect fit for one another. Rachel felt desire course through her veins as she snaked her arm around Janet and lightly tugged on her hair to tilt her face upwards before leaning forward and pressing her lips desperately against Janet's. It took Janet less than a minute to register what was happening, and as her heart soared she moved one hand to the small of Rachel's back using what strength she had to keep their bodies pressed together, her other hand to behind Rachel's head and parted her lips, allowing Rachel's tongue access to play. They kissed with fierce passion, as if this kiss was their chance to each explain the angst they'd felt during the past 24 hours. Their tongues twirled around each other, exploring their mouths with urgency, and their hands kept them both busy. They could feel each other's hearts beating rapidly, could hear the small gasps they were both emitting in an attempt to make this kiss last forever, not ever wanting to have to come up for air. However, they were soon in danger of passing out through lack of oxygen, and wrenched their lips apart, their lungs greedily sucking in air. Both this and the passion they felt left them panting.
It was only then, with their arms wrapped around each other, their pants the only noise around them that they opened their eyes. They hadn't even realized they'd been closed. Janet looked up into Rachel's eyes looking nervous, and Rachel.. well, truth be told, Rachel looked pissed. They stared at each other while their breathing slowly returned to normal, just relishing what had happened, feeling content in one another's embrace. Janet was the first one to break the silence, 'Wow..' she cleared her throat, 'I mean.. wow! Are you alright, Rach?' she couldn't help the nerves that were trying to drag her back to a sense of reality.
Rachel laughed huskily. 'You taste nice! Did you just brush your teeth or something?!'
'Yes, as a matter of fact' Janet smiled. 'And you, lady, taste of red wine and aniseed!' she pretended to pull a face.
Rachel pulled her closer again, 'Shall we er-' she jerked her head towards the bedroom, 'finish this in there?' She wasn't quite sure how what had just happened had actually happened, but she did NOT want it to finish.
Janet looked serious again. 'No, love. Not now, not when you are drunk as a skunk and we're both emotional. I don't want a repeat of today happening again tomorrow.' She said gently. Rachel frowned, feeling upset. 'Come on, I'm going to get you a glass of water and then put you to bed. Early start tomorrow, remember?' And as much as Janet loathed doing it, she slowly disentangled herself from Rachel's embrace and held her hand instead. She led Rachel to the kitchen and, true to her word, poured her a glass of water.
As Rachel was led to her bedroom she found her voice, 'There won't be a repeat of today. There won't. Please Jan, I need you. I don't want to feel shit again.' She slumped down in bed, while Janet fixed the duvet over her, tucking her in tight.
'Listen to me, love. If we did anything more tonight, tomorrow you might regret it. And where would that leave us? I don't want to rush into this, only to feel crushed when the morning comes. I'll sit here with you until you get to sleep, and then I'll go to my own bed. Tomorrow we can talk, I promise. Just rest now.' She was stroking Rachel's hair as she said this softly. She knew she was doing the right thing by stopping this now, but it was taking all of her rationale and willpower to say no. And if Rachel regretted the kiss again tomorrow, Janet knew she'd be kicking herself for not taking this chance.
Rachel lay there quietly then, feeling comforted by Janet's presence, feeling.. content.. for the first time in.. well, she couldn't remember. That was some indication of how rare this emotion came. 'Don't hurt me tomorrow, Jan. Please.' were her last words as she fell into a deep, drunken sleep.
Janet crept into her own room, changed into her night clothes, set her alarm for the morning and lay in bed, replaying the past hour's events in slow motion, over and over again, a stupid grin plastered over her face. The pit of her stomach twisted and flipped in anticipation as she savoured every detail. She was just falling to what she knew would have been an amazing sleep when a stray thought struck her, replacing her excitement with dread. A thought that she knew would ensure another bad night's sleep.
How would Rachel react in the morning?